Review: My Girlfriend's Boyfriend, Mike Birbiglia

[00:00:08] Speaker A: I'm just gonna stay like this. I don't need it up. It's like half. It's like a halfy. [00:00:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:15] Speaker A: You know what a halfy is? Half an erection? No, no, it's not. His daughter saith it to him. [00:00:26] Speaker B: It's was Kashmir. You remember that? Kashmir Outside. Was she a Southie like you? [00:00:33] Speaker A: Who? [00:00:34] Speaker C: Catch me outside, cash me outside. [00:00:36] Speaker B: How about that? [00:00:38] Speaker A: I don't know what you're talking about. [00:00:39] Speaker C: Dr. Phil. [00:00:41] Speaker A: Nope. I don't watch mainstream television. [00:00:45] Speaker B: Everyone knows what that was. It was some, like, scutto woman, and she. She was getting heat from the. The audience, and she says, cash me out. Cash. [00:00:55] Speaker C: Cash me outside. How about that? [00:00:57] Speaker B: How about that? [00:00:57] Speaker A: Yeah, cash me outside. How about that? What does that mean? I'm gonna suck you off outside. [00:01:01] Speaker C: Yeah, let's go outside and we'll fight. [00:01:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:04] Speaker C: What do you think about that scenario? [00:01:06] Speaker A: When was this from? 2008. I don't. I missed it. [00:01:09] Speaker C: It was like 2016. [00:01:11] Speaker A: I was in a K hole then. [00:01:14] Speaker C: Yeah. K hole is ketamine. [00:01:17] Speaker A: Yeah, Ketamine hole. [00:01:19] Speaker C: When you do too much ketamine. [00:01:20] Speaker A: Long battle with ketamine. [00:01:21] Speaker C: When you take too much horse tranquil. [00:01:23] Speaker A: Five years. Oh. Since we're live, I want to give you this gift. I'm going to, every week give you a different Adam Sandler CD for your collection. So you have a nice collection. [00:01:34] Speaker B: Well, it's the classics on this one. [00:01:36] Speaker A: None. Lonesome Kicker, I think is on there that was the most well known. But that's shite. [00:01:43] Speaker B: Even the font is shite on this. It's barely readable. [00:01:48] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. It's the worst of them. [00:01:50] Speaker B: Dancing with. [00:01:52] Speaker A: It's not even listenable. We listened to it in the car, my kids and I, on the way to the Ozarks, and they just said, turn it off. But I give you that. [00:02:00] Speaker B: He looks young in it, though, still. [00:02:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. He's maintained his youth. Youth comes from within. [00:02:07] Speaker B: Just take that, you recreate that picture, and I'll. I'll use it on the website for the thingy. [00:02:13] Speaker A: Okay. Do we publish that one? The Sandler one? Yeah, we do. [00:02:16] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, that's out there. [00:02:21] Speaker A: A couple things in Adam Sandler News. Number one, tickets are on sale and Good Seeds still available for his October show at the United Center. I will be there. [00:02:33] Speaker C: United Center? Really? [00:02:34] Speaker A: Yep. [00:02:35] Speaker B: You want to go, whoa, United Center. [00:02:37] Speaker C: I think I would go to. [00:02:39] Speaker A: I've never seen him. [00:02:40] Speaker C: I'd see Adam Sandler. [00:02:41] Speaker A: Never seen him live. [00:02:42] Speaker C: That's how I feel about Green Day. Green Day is Going to be at riot fest. And it's one of those things like I've never seen Green Day Fish. [00:02:47] Speaker A: I saw them at. [00:02:49] Speaker C: Wait, just pitch or pitch and posh. [00:02:51] Speaker A: I don't both. They blow. [00:02:53] Speaker B: Pish me outside. How about that Southie? [00:03:01] Speaker A: So that's one big piece of news. Come see him in October. It's gonna be great. And then tonight. You know what tonight is? I don't need to tell you what tonight is. Go ahead. [00:03:12] Speaker B: Tinnitus is where your ears keep ringing. [00:03:15] Speaker C: Ringing. Yeah. [00:03:16] Speaker B: Beep. [00:03:17] Speaker A: What? [00:03:17] Speaker B: That's what tonight is. [00:03:19] Speaker C: Tinnitus is when. Yeah. [00:03:20] Speaker A: Oh, tinnitus. Yes. No, tonight is. You don't know what tonight is in Adam Sandler world. Tonight is the release probably is out there now today of the much anticipated long awaited Happy Gilmore 2. [00:03:41] Speaker C: Oh, right, yeah. [00:03:42] Speaker B: Is it just a Netflix thing or is it a real film? [00:03:46] Speaker A: It's a real film on Netflix. You can't see it anywhere. But Netflix. [00:03:49] Speaker B: It's not a real film, is it? [00:03:52] Speaker A: What is a real film anyway? [00:03:53] Speaker B: A real film is in a real. [00:03:54] Speaker C: Theater with agreed R E A L R E E L. [00:04:00] Speaker A: What? R E A L E R A L E. What? What? What? Huh. So that's big in my house. That's like a national holiday. We've been waiting for this day. We've got the Italian ice at home. We're gonna do hot dogs. We're gonna watch it inside. [00:04:17] Speaker C: Wait, do you really have Italian ice at home? [00:04:19] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Two gallons. Two half gallons from faro's, two gallons from farrows, lemon and watermelon. [00:04:28] Speaker C: I haven't thought about Italian ice in like in probably 20 years. And then since. Since I've known you for the last four months, it's come up six times. [00:04:36] Speaker A: Yeah, I love Italian ice. [00:04:38] Speaker B: Oh, it's a big Southy thing. [00:04:41] Speaker A: Enough with the Southie bullshit, all right? I'm not from southy. I'm from northy the. [00:04:46] Speaker B: So are you going to like, make your kids watch it? Like, all right. No one leaves this room. [00:04:53] Speaker A: I don't have to make them watch it. They. They're holding me to it. They want to watch it. [00:04:58] Speaker B: Really? [00:04:59] Speaker A: Oh, they love him. They love this man in all his films, his videos. They're not films. [00:05:06] Speaker C: His real movies. [00:05:07] Speaker B: Yeah, all his movies when he does like, actual things. They're really good now, aren't they? The jewel thief thing. I haven't seen the alien one yet. [00:05:15] Speaker A: No, I haven't seen that either. [00:05:17] Speaker B: And what's the other one he done? That was real punch drunk love. [00:05:21] Speaker A: Well, that was 20 years ago. But. [00:05:22] Speaker B: Yeah, but I mean, it's still, Still a non comedy in it for him. [00:05:25] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he can do no wrong. He could take a dump in a box like Meryl Streep. You can give that an award. [00:05:35] Speaker C: Meryl Streep. [00:05:37] Speaker A: It used to be said that Meryl Streep could just take a dump in a box and she'd get nominated for an Academy Award. [00:05:42] Speaker C: Your mic up? [00:05:43] Speaker A: I can. It's limp. [00:05:45] Speaker C: No, but lift the whole arm. [00:05:46] Speaker B: Yeah, flex the arm here. Can you not. [00:05:50] Speaker A: The whole thing is janky. Like this whole place. Like this whole operation. Slide this up. [00:05:58] Speaker B: Let me have a go. [00:05:59] Speaker A: This. You know what? I've now realized this. These curtains. Have we talked about this? This is like the. [00:06:07] Speaker C: Well, you know, it's behind him. [00:06:08] Speaker A: Twin Peaks. You know the room. The. The Black Lodge in Twin Peaks. [00:06:14] Speaker B: Yeah, that is fine. [00:06:16] Speaker A: What if I turn it this way? Yeah, okay. This is like the. The Black Lodge in Twin Peaks with the curtains when all the happens. Like the other dimension. [00:06:26] Speaker C: I don't think I got that far. [00:06:27] Speaker A: No, the. It's the. From the original series. [00:06:30] Speaker C: Yeah, I started watching it, but I don't think I got that far. I got to the episode where the old man comes into. Doesn't. What's his name? He gets shot. The. The main character. [00:06:40] Speaker A: That's season one. Yeah, yeah, I guess you don't get to the. To the lodge until the season two. You gotta watch it, man. It's great. [00:06:47] Speaker C: Well, now I know what happens. [00:06:48] Speaker A: No, this. I didn't tell you anything that happens like this. Yeah, yeah. [00:06:53] Speaker C: I've been here. [00:06:55] Speaker A: Yeah. So. Okay, so I want to. I want to. Before we get to this Mike Birbiglia. [00:06:59] Speaker B: Fellow, we like 20 minutes. [00:07:00] Speaker A: That's all right. Don't worry about the time. All right. [00:07:02] Speaker B: All right. [00:07:03] Speaker A: I don't have much to say about this. [00:07:04] Speaker C: It's only seven. Anyway. [00:07:08] Speaker A: The last time we met, which is ages ago, we were. I was. I was on a walk with my wife. It was a Saturday morning. Let me. Let me remind you, take you back to this day. Saturday morning, about three weeks ago, my wife and I on a walk. Walking shoes are on, shorts. She's got the fanny pack headed west to the river. And we're about halfway to the river and it dawns on me that, Christ on a crutch, we're supposed to be recording this morning. And it was like 9:30. I go, Honey, I gotta go. I. I forgot. And we're recording. I don't know exactly what time, but I know we're recording this morning. I ran home. I literally ra home from what? I went from walking to turning around and running home because I hadn't watched this shit number one, and we were set to record number two. So I ran home. It's like nine in the morning and I jump in front of the tv, I get the paper, put the thing on, I start texting you guys, hey, what time we recording? And no response from you, as always. [00:08:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:05] Speaker A: Do you do. When you don't. When you don't respond, you see them and just walk away and not respond or you just don't open the text? How does that work? [00:08:14] Speaker B: A lot of times I won't even be near my phone for four hours. [00:08:18] Speaker A: Say, okay, it's not in your pocket anyway. [00:08:23] Speaker B: And additionally, I'll go, oh, it's a message from Bill that you can see. [00:08:27] Speaker C: You can see when you read them now. [00:08:29] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:08:29] Speaker C: They do that for Androids. What kind of phone do you have? [00:08:32] Speaker A: An iPhone. [00:08:33] Speaker C: Yeah. So you can see is. You know, it says like, red at 1038. [00:08:37] Speaker A: They don't all say that. Like, mine don't say that. I don't think you can't see five. [00:08:41] Speaker C: Because you don't have your read receipts on. [00:08:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't do that. [00:08:43] Speaker C: Whereas Mark does. [00:08:44] Speaker A: You leave it on. You shouldn't. For someone who doesn't fucking respond. Does he not respond to you the way he doesn't respond to me, or does he respond to you because you. You guys are co workers? [00:08:54] Speaker C: Yeah, I. I get responses now. It wasn't always that way. [00:08:59] Speaker A: Really? [00:09:00] Speaker C: Well, now you gotta work your way. [00:09:01] Speaker A: Up to a level of response. How do I do that? [00:09:03] Speaker C: I diligence. [00:09:06] Speaker B: I hate texts. Fucking hate. And I hate interacting with people. So, yeah, it's. It's a hard thing. And it's like, you know, if I do see a text, I'll be like, okay, is this material? Is it. [00:09:22] Speaker A: Is it material? Not. Not comedy material. Is it material versus immaterial? [00:09:26] Speaker B: Yeah, is it material? Does it. Because I'm sure I've told you this for, like, fucking. Texting was invented for teenagers to discuss what type of pizza they were going to get. It was not invented for business, which is email urgency, which is ring, ring, ring, pick the goddamn phone up, my ass is on fire. Blah, blah, blah. Texting is. Is abused. [00:09:54] Speaker A: Okay? I want to go down this rabbit hole, all right. With you. I just want to know why I don't get responses and why he don't. [00:10:01] Speaker B: Anyway, I'm that guy that I like to respond like a week, two weeks later. [00:10:07] Speaker A: I'm pretty bad too. [00:10:08] Speaker C: You got to start te say more about pizza, and then you'll get. [00:10:11] Speaker A: I guess. [00:10:11] Speaker C: Yeah, maybe. [00:10:12] Speaker B: Hey. Hey, I'm outside Domino's. When are you getting. Yeah, what do you want on your pizza? When are you getting here? Then I'll respond to that. [00:10:24] Speaker A: Okay. So anyway, I run home, I. I watch this thing, and then you don't respond. Christian does respond. Here's what he responds. I don't have in front of me, because I don't. But he says, oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. Mark and I, we talked last night and recording. Yeah, it was around 4th of July, right? We're not recording. So you guys are having these sidebar conversations about the show and whether it's being recorded or not and not telling me. [00:10:49] Speaker C: Yeah. And a whole bunch of other things, too. [00:10:51] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sit. [00:10:54] Speaker B: Well, do you want us to record the sidebars playing back as part of the episodes? [00:11:01] Speaker A: Sure. I'd like to hear what the sidebars are. So you make decisions and then you together and then you tell me or you don't even tell me in this case, where I don't even know. I'm just, you know, expecting to do something. [00:11:11] Speaker B: I think. I think the premise was of it that no one had actually. Oh, it was, wasn't it? Part of his whole vagary, like, yes, let's re. Let's record in spring. [00:11:22] Speaker C: Well, no, it was just we were Both at the Fourth of July thing over at Mr. Kyle Scanlon's house. [00:11:28] Speaker A: Wasn't invited. [00:11:29] Speaker C: And. Yeah, well, if you texted about pizza more. Yeah, maybe you would be. But anyway, it was just. It was kind of brought up, I think. Mark, you said you couldn't do it the next day, and I said, that's fine with me. [00:11:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:43] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. There was motorcycle racing and nobody told me. If you want, go to speedwaygp.com and. And I'll. And check my availability. [00:11:54] Speaker A: What? Your availability is on there. You keep a calendar on there? [00:11:57] Speaker B: What kind of college shirt is that? [00:11:59] Speaker A: It's hot as balls in here. For the first time ever, it's hot in here and not cold. [00:12:03] Speaker B: What are you coaching Tampa Bay buccaneers in the 80s? [00:12:07] Speaker A: I just removed my sweatshirt and I've got a cabana wear on. [00:12:14] Speaker B: You should get a clipboard and paste the sidelines of the 1980s Tampa Bay Buccaneers in that shirt. [00:12:20] Speaker A: It is the same color of orange, but this is a BD baggie. Are you familiar with BD baggies? You're too young, Christian. But BD baggie was a very nice brand back in the 80s, early 90s of menswear. They made Oxford shirts primarily, but this is from their summer line. [00:12:37] Speaker C: What's that show? [00:12:38] Speaker A: Is that at the thrift last week? [00:12:39] Speaker C: Tim Robinson. Is that the guy's name? Yeah, he's got. Do you think that's what his. Was it? PC Pullers? [00:12:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Do you think they're tuggers? [00:12:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:12:46] Speaker A: I was talking last night on this thing. I was pulling it out right off my belly. [00:12:50] Speaker C: Is that what that's based on? [00:12:51] Speaker A: No, but it might be. Maybe you're right. Beatty. Baggy tuggers, maybe. Maybe. Hey, has he ever come through here? [00:12:58] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, all the time. Right to him. [00:13:00] Speaker A: Huh? C.J. knows him. [00:13:02] Speaker B: Really? Isn't he like the alternate darling right now? Yeah, he's like the. I do weird sketches. [00:13:10] Speaker A: So good. No, it's great. You probably wouldn't like him. Care for me. He's not on the nose, as it were. Like, no. Joy or somebody. [00:13:18] Speaker B: I like. I do, like, you know, obscure surrealist stuff. But with American comedians, it just rarely hits. It's like they've watched Monty Python and gone, what if I do this? Will I be Noel Fielding or someone? And it's like, no, you just sort of spouting shite. [00:13:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't feel that way about Tim Robinson, as it were. I've been saying as it were all the time. You ever find yourself saying as it. [00:13:47] Speaker B: Were, someone highly recommended Detroiters to me? I watched an episode of that and it was all right, but I didn't. I really compelled to go back to it, shall we say? [00:13:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what we're talking. Anyway, so you left me out and I was, you know, upset, and you really ran home. I ran home sweating my ball bag off that day to get home, make sure I got this done because I care about this. [00:14:15] Speaker B: Did you run back to your Mrs. Crying when. [00:14:18] Speaker A: No, she was pissed because. So. Because I left the walk and she did, and I. She had waited for me to have the walk. She really wanted to go out on her own. And I was like, no, I'm gonna come with you. I need to get. [00:14:28] Speaker B: Wow, she must hate this podcast then. I mean, you're. [00:14:32] Speaker A: Yeah, she does. [00:14:32] Speaker B: You're spouting like. So we've lost. Let yet another listener. [00:14:36] Speaker C: Did you run with a fanny pack? [00:14:37] Speaker A: No, I didn't have a fanny pack. She had. She has a fanny. [00:14:40] Speaker B: How'd you get in the house then, if you leave it open? [00:14:42] Speaker A: Kids were in there sleeping it was early in the morning. I shouldn't put that out there. You know, they break into people's houses. [00:14:49] Speaker B: When they know that, and the address is. [00:14:51] Speaker A: Yes. All right, so it's been a long time. We. We haven't been in here a while, but we do have listeners other than my wife. Mike Olson is an avid listener. You might remember him from the 2000 Chicago Comedy Fest when he performed with Marc Maron. [00:15:10] Speaker B: Randy. [00:15:11] Speaker A: Randy. Randy. He listens to all these. There's people listening. I don't know how you track that metric, but they're out there. [00:15:19] Speaker B: We can talk about the metrics later in the episode. I'm going to give you admin to Castos, and you can sit there pouring over the data. [00:15:28] Speaker A: Yeah, I like that. In the paper today. I read before we get started again that they're talking about this sports radio show on local sports radio, and the ratings book just came out. We're not on a Nielsen ratings book, are we here? [00:15:42] Speaker B: Totally not. [00:15:43] Speaker A: And the show had received low ratings because they had changed hosts, and they said that the host, one of the hosts, was too nice. And for something like sports radio, you got to be combative. And this guy's just. Christian's yawned, like, three times over here. [00:15:58] Speaker C: Are we keeping you up at a late night? You did, Yeah, I was. I was here until the wee hours of the morning. [00:16:05] Speaker A: Sorry to make. Come in at 11. Turns out I didn't even need to come in at 11. [00:16:08] Speaker C: Oh, that's. That's. That's. Well, you know what? It serves me right for you, running home with the fanny pack on. [00:16:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:15] Speaker A: Get you back. [00:16:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:16] Speaker A: Anyway, we're. I. I'm always trying to make the show better so it can gain a little traction out there. And although you are very milquetoast in all your opinions and everything, if you have one at all, I'm. I'm going to be more combative. [00:16:34] Speaker B: All right. [00:16:36] Speaker A: Starting this episode. [00:16:37] Speaker B: But then what happens if I become. [00:16:39] Speaker A: More passive, become more combative? One of us has to be combative for the ratings to go up. All right? [00:16:47] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:48] Speaker A: All right. So let's start the combat right now. Mike Birbiglia, my girlfriend's boyfriend, circa 2013. Chosen by producer Christian. I don't know why you like this, man. [00:17:00] Speaker C: I love it. [00:17:00] Speaker A: You love it? [00:17:01] Speaker C: Oh, it's the best. [00:17:02] Speaker A: Should we wait for his. [00:17:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:04] Speaker A: You Love this. [00:17:05] Speaker C: Yep, 100%. Every single time I watch it, I like it even more than the last time that I watched it. [00:17:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:11] Speaker C: I don't want to show all my cards though. [00:17:12] Speaker A: Yeah, you just did. Had you seen this fella before? [00:17:17] Speaker B: No. You know what? I know he's like God to a lot of people, right? [00:17:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:21] Speaker B: Christian, I'd never actually like seen any of him. He's. There's a lot of comedians where I hear the name over and over and over and I just can't be, you know, you, me and you haven't watched stand up, what, 10 years, 15 years and. But Big Lerose, the name that keeps coming up and coming up, you know, I still haven't seen one minute of Bill Burr stand up comedy. [00:17:45] Speaker A: Really? [00:17:46] Speaker B: Not one God damn minute. [00:17:48] Speaker A: Now it doesn't make sense for me, but, you know, I haven't watched stand up comedy in all these years because I couldn't do it anyway. Couldn't. Couldn't watch. Stand to watch it. Not being around it and having done some of it. You have all this while run a comedy club without watching, without watching any stand up comedy. Seems like I don't know what the comp of that would be like running a hamburger place, but never fucking ever trying a hamburger or being vegan. Right. [00:18:19] Speaker C: Kind of works out though. Not getting higher in your own supply, you know? [00:18:22] Speaker A: Is that what it is? [00:18:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:18:24] Speaker A: Yeah. How do you evaluate talent in the modern age without. You don't evaluate Italian. Who's your talent scout here? Stu Golfman. [00:18:33] Speaker B: My talent scour is everyone else. [00:18:36] Speaker A: Who's that? [00:18:37] Speaker B: Anyone? Literally anyone. [00:18:39] Speaker A: Like this guy. [00:18:40] Speaker B: Yeah. I might say to Christian, you know, is this guy shite or whatever, The Hulk. So this is this myth that I'm like some wizard of Oz. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I haven't watched shows really. Hell, 15 years maybe. And I certainly haven't booked even longer than that because I would just say to the cast, you know, I got no clue who these people are and I'm probably gonna hate them. [00:19:09] Speaker A: Yeah. You're not a barometer of what people like and like. [00:19:12] Speaker B: Yeah, it's really weird to me. There's a lot of. I think I've talked about this. So sorry if already. A lot of producers are like the kid that no one would listen to. And now they're like, you gotta watch this. These are the people that are important because I say so. I don't have that ego. My mission is to provide the stage and be professional. I don't hold any pretenses. I like what I like, but I'm not gonna ram it down your throat. [00:19:43] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'll say that you've always been that way. [00:19:47] Speaker B: Yeah. Not, you know, I mean, there was a Time when I was a twat. And I'd be like, no, this is what comedy is. And everything else needs to. You know, I've said this before, you know, when you're young, you sit in the back of the bar, the coffee shop, saying, this is how it should be. And we're gonna bring. But then you can't be a twat all your life. Eventually you just like, you know what I like, what I like, and I'm not gonna force everyone else. [00:20:13] Speaker A: But the swing of the pendulum from then is to. I don't know if we're quite there yet at our age, but sitting in the coffee shop and, and begrudging, bemoaning everything that's out there and saying it's shite. Right. And it's not like it used to be. Right. Are we, Are we doing that with this program? [00:20:28] Speaker B: No, I don't think so. [00:20:29] Speaker A: But, but. And I've asked you before, let me say, to ask you again, do you like watching it again? Watching comedy again? Are you enjoying just the watching? Not necessarily this, what we're doing here, talking about it, but are you enjoying watching it? [00:20:42] Speaker B: Yeah, I am. I've had some good times. [00:20:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. It's been fun for me to watch it again. Is it inspiring you to get back on stage, do your. [00:20:51] Speaker B: No, because I don't really have anything to say. I don't really have anything I want to tell people. [00:20:55] Speaker A: I wanted to bring you up at my show the other night. [00:20:58] Speaker B: It's not gonna happen, is it? [00:21:00] Speaker A: Well, I didn't want to put you on the spot, so instead you weren't there. I appreciate, though, you. You saying you weren't coming? [00:21:06] Speaker C: Yeah. Are you talking about the. Yeah, the. The movie. [00:21:09] Speaker A: Yeah, the movie outing. Yeah. And we do a little stand up before the, before the show. And I called him out and just. [00:21:18] Speaker B: An excuse for you to. [00:21:20] Speaker A: Yeah, I can't get booked anywhere else. [00:21:21] Speaker C: It sounded like a lot of fun. I really wanted. [00:21:23] Speaker A: It was fun for me. [00:21:24] Speaker B: Does anyone, like, shoot you a sideways glance in the neighborhood after you got. After you've done this? [00:21:32] Speaker A: Yes. [00:21:32] Speaker B: Three days, three nights, stood in the road barking your filth. [00:21:37] Speaker A: How did you. [00:21:37] Speaker C: How did you get to be able to do that to begin with? Did you just do it one day? I mean, I guess this is the second annual, right? Yeah. So last year. Did you just do it? [00:21:44] Speaker A: Yeah, I just did it. [00:21:45] Speaker C: You just did it? [00:21:46] Speaker A: Yeah. What's the expression? It's better to ask forgiveness than permission. Just do it. But I want to apologize. What? Yeah. That's a That's an old Christian. I don't know if it's Christian anyway, but I want to apologize publicly for, you know, when I get on the mic, I don't know what I'm going to say. And I said that you were the Harvey Weinstein of the Chicago comedy scene and that everybody had this suck your uncircumcised penis. I don't even know if you're uncircumcised or not. But I said that and I apologize. [00:22:18] Speaker B: I'm on. Yeah. Because I'm British. [00:22:20] Speaker A: Yeah. Am I right to think that. That British people are uncircumcised? [00:22:24] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:22:24] Speaker A: I knew it. [00:22:26] Speaker B: It's been. It's been cast off as a. A brutal and cruel thing to do to circumcise. Just mutilation in it. [00:22:37] Speaker A: Yeah. Jews and Catholics are big on it. [00:22:40] Speaker B: Ah, well, that's. Catholics are. [00:22:43] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:22:43] Speaker B: I know the Jewish thing. That explains it then, because, you know, hundreds of years ago, they set fire to all the Catholics, so all the circumcised dicks up in smoke. [00:22:54] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:54] Speaker B: And Church of England is gonna be like, nope, we're keeping the helmet on. [00:22:59] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. Yeah. Well, that's another episode, I think, you know, talking about the uncircumcised, like. Yeah, but uncircumcisions, circumcisions. And anyway, so apologies for that, but. [00:23:13] Speaker B: I didn't know it was Catholic thing. I could dwell on that. [00:23:16] Speaker A: Well, I'm Catholic and all my mates are circumcised. I know from seeing their penis coughing a lot. Yeah. Yeah. You ever cop a look at the trough? [00:23:29] Speaker B: No. [00:23:30] Speaker A: You can't get caught meat gazing. [00:23:33] Speaker B: Just. It's like that scene in Buffalo 66. [00:23:37] Speaker A: Vincent Gallo. [00:23:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:38] Speaker A: Seen Orici. He cops a look. [00:23:40] Speaker B: Now, the guy. The guy looks, there's. He go. He's dying for the toilet. And he finally gets to go. And this guy looks over it. You remember that scene? [00:23:50] Speaker A: I don't remember the scene. It's been a long time. [00:23:52] Speaker B: The guy looks at his dick and Gallo just goes ballistic because he's caught this guy looking at his. But it's funny thing is, is the dialogue he gives, you know, he's going mental, like, why are you looking at my dick? Or whatever. And the guy goes, it's just so big. And you think, did Gallo put that scene in just so everyone would think he's. [00:24:13] Speaker A: Maybe. But did you see his follow up. [00:24:15] Speaker B: To that brown bunny? [00:24:16] Speaker A: Well, that. He shows it and he shows Chloe Sevigny. Sevigny. Sevigny. Take it all. [00:24:23] Speaker B: Yeah, I know it's infamous because it was like. But because I wanted to watch it, I. One thing I have an affinity with Gallo is he was a motorcycle racer. Yeah. That's cool. [00:24:33] Speaker A: Yeah, he's always cool. I don't know what he fell off, but we've got. [00:24:37] Speaker B: We're wanking on about Buffalo 66 and we've got Mr. Buffalo. [00:24:41] Speaker C: I'm Mr. Buffalo. [00:24:42] Speaker B: Nothing. [00:24:43] Speaker A: I bet he hasn't even seen this. [00:24:44] Speaker C: I have not seen the film. [00:24:46] Speaker B: Have you seen. It's about vincent gallows penis 100 times. Yeah. I bet it's like everywhere in boot Mr. [00:24:53] Speaker A: Skin. [00:24:53] Speaker B: But there's a. There's probably like, because he's such a famous Buffalo, if there's probably a mural. [00:24:59] Speaker C: Yeah. Is there any Vincent Gallo tribute outside City Hall? Yeah. [00:25:03] Speaker B: Can I take. Can I go to Buffalo and take a Vincent Gallo tour? Maybe. [00:25:08] Speaker A: Like the Mark Twain boyhood home. [00:25:10] Speaker B: Yeah, like the boyhood home there. [00:25:12] Speaker C: Yeah, you might be able to. They might have that now. [00:25:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:17] Speaker A: Well, maybe you could buy his house and turn into like Pope Leo's house. And Dalton is going to be a whole shrine now. [00:25:24] Speaker B: The only other thing I ever saw Vincent Gallowin was in Basquiat. Did you see that? [00:25:28] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Not for a while, but. Yeah, he didn't do a lot. All right, well, let's. Let's turn the page to Mike Barbeglia. So you hadn't seen him? I had seen a little bit. I think I had started. May I watch some of this one? At one point, he's. He's out there with, you know, I confused him kind of like. I don't want to bring up even say, Natasha Leggero after what happened, like how I confused Natasha Leggero and Maria Bamford. I confused Birbiglia and Mullaney not because they're names, right, obviously, but just their. They have a. They had a similar appearance to the passing eye back in the day when you weren't really watching. But, you know, it turns out that they are chums and their acts are very similar. [00:26:26] Speaker C: You think so? [00:26:27] Speaker A: I don't. You know, I've seen some of Mulaney stand up and. And this is something I want to talk about with this guy. Is this white collar comedy that. I don't know if that's a term, but this is. This guy is definitely white collar comedy. Mulaney's white collar comedy. [00:26:46] Speaker B: Define white collar, Right, because white collar. [00:26:48] Speaker A: John Mulaney, Mike Birbiglia, Stephen Colbert, Conan o', Brien, these Ivy League middle class writers that have, you know, shot to stardom. [00:27:01] Speaker B: Oh, so you hate that. I hate that they're talking about intellectual things rather than shitting and dicks. And. [00:27:11] Speaker A: You could reduce it to that, maybe. Yeah, I guess. But there's something about Ivy League comedy that I don't like. You know, like these. [00:27:20] Speaker B: This selfie in you, maybe. [00:27:22] Speaker A: I'm very working class. I've got a circumcised penis. What? [00:27:25] Speaker C: It's difficult to follow. [00:27:27] Speaker A: No, it's not difficult to follow. [00:27:28] Speaker C: I can follow just fine for you. [00:27:30] Speaker A: It's just them, you know, the oxford shirt comedian and I, this kid went to private school, right. So I am from the east coast. And there's a. There's a dividing line behind between public school kids and private school kids. It's not really private school, you know, like, went here, went to public school versus a Catholic school. It's boarding school kids that also go to Harvard. Those fucking kids back East. There's a real hatred. Mark Wahlberg and me, we hate those guys, right, because we went to public school on the east coast and these kids went to boarding school or private school. We couldn't, you know, couldn't have that. And they. Yeah, so there's these guys that I just mentioned represent that to me, and their comedy is funny, and Mike Birbigli is a great writer and so are the other people that I mentioned, but I don't like them because they're private school kids and they went to Ivy League schools, so fuck them. [00:28:29] Speaker B: Right? [00:28:30] Speaker A: I mean. [00:28:30] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:28:31] Speaker A: Did you go to Ivy League? I know you didn't know. [00:28:33] Speaker B: I get. [00:28:34] Speaker A: I get eaten. [00:28:35] Speaker B: No, I get. I get why you're saying it. Because. Yeah, I'm always disappointed when I find out someone went to Oxford or Cambridge, you know, and it was like, God damn. Like, especially when I started liking them and then found out. [00:28:49] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:28:50] Speaker B: And that's like out of the gate, it's sort of like, yeah, well, they're gonna have to win me over then. [00:28:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:55] Speaker B: But when you like them and then you find out, it's like, God damn it. Betrayed. [00:28:59] Speaker C: I gotta say, I didn't know that about Per Biglia. Where did he go to school? [00:29:02] Speaker A: Well, he went. He actually. [00:29:04] Speaker B: Well, he talked about it in his act. He said, I went to an all boys school. Right. [00:29:07] Speaker A: He went to St. John's Prep, which is. [00:29:09] Speaker C: Yeah, I went to an all boys school. That doesn't mean I. [00:29:13] Speaker A: His school actually isn't like a boarding school. It's a. It's a very good Catholic high school in. Outside of Boston. But I think he said he went somewhere else too, but so I'm not holding him to that, but he does represent that. And when, you know, when you look at his contemporaries, the people he came up with, and that's a whole generation that I feel like got into the comedy scene. Early 90s started with Conan and the Lampoon and those people that kind of took over Saturday Night Live and the writing room at Saturday Night Live that, you know, created the Zeitgeist. Is that the right word of comedy at that time that we were all kind of subject to. And it's the antithesis. To me, though, I don't know that these people would agree of Spade and Sandler and Farley that were not those type of guys. Right. And so they kind of converge at the same time. And I'm just more on that side of the, you know, the, you know, the public school boys than the private school boys that have kind of in many ways taken over comedy. And I think it's kind of. They're still there running, right? Yep. [00:30:24] Speaker B: They run. The BBC in England do that. Yeah. Because you've got to go to Oxford and Cambridge to get a foot in the door in the BBC and stuff. [00:30:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:31] Speaker B: But I mean, I guess the thing I resent more than anything isn't necessarily that they did that, but it's sometimes when you find out that, you know, someone used. Parlayed their independent wealth into a comedy career because they could not have to get up and have a 9 to 5 job, beat them to death, they could keep going. There's a couple of people I know who. There's a lot of trust fund kids in comedy. [00:31:01] Speaker A: Yes. And more now than when we started out. Yeah, right. It was like you had to be mentally ill. Yeah. Or, you know, some kind of derelict to find your way to stand up comedy. [00:31:15] Speaker B: Right. [00:31:15] Speaker A: And now it's very different. It is white collar. [00:31:20] Speaker B: Well, that's what the Lincoln Lodge is solving listeners out there. [00:31:24] Speaker A: Yeah, they are. You're bringing in hardscrabble youth and well, that's why. [00:31:28] Speaker B: That's why we don't like, charge for rent and we try build like the whole, you know, like you're not gonna have to worry about all the shit we had to worry about, you know, hiding the stage in the garage so the city doesn't shut you down, blah, blah, blah. So the idea is, is that, you know, you can do a show without having to deal with all that stuff, you know, because to rent a theater is like 200, $300. [00:31:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:56] Speaker B: So who's got that money, but you can't really get around the whole, you know, trust fund kid thing, you know, of like, well, I get to dick around all day, get up at 10 o', clock, you know, watch a bit. And when everyone else is out there grinding. [00:32:13] Speaker A: Right. [00:32:14] Speaker C: Is that what Mike Birbigli is? Does he come from money? I don't know this about him. [00:32:19] Speaker A: I didn't look that far into it. [00:32:22] Speaker C: You know, so we're just talking about people in general. [00:32:26] Speaker A: We're generalizing, I guess, but, you know. [00:32:29] Speaker B: Well, we've gone in. We've gone down a side alley, haven't we? [00:32:32] Speaker A: But it. But, but it relates. So I said I liked his writing. He is a great writer. I don't. There are parts of his act, or as it were, that I don't like. Kind of like with Pepitone and the shouting. He does this thing where he gets real soft and talks. And I wanted to punch a hole in the TV every time he did it. Right. [00:32:58] Speaker B: So that stuff that means a heartfelt bit is happening. [00:33:02] Speaker A: Yes. My wife and I met her. I knew. [00:33:06] Speaker B: It's like, yeah, that. [00:33:07] Speaker A: Stop doing that. [00:33:08] Speaker B: I think that's a tool in the comedian's kit box now, isn't it? Like the Hannah Gatsby. Like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna switch around, I'm gonna make you laugh, and then I'm gonna be really serious and you're gonna be like, yeah, yeah. [00:33:22] Speaker A: I don't. Yeah, it's disingenuous to me. Right. You know, so I didn't really like that. But yeah, I mean, we could go through all the bits and. And like, I'd like to read the book of his life rather than have him tell it on stage and sweating and, you know, like, you know, I'd rather read his story. Great. And we could talk about great writers versus great comedians. Right. There's a lot of people who are great writers that they're make. That makes their stand up passable, but they're not great. They don't. [00:33:56] Speaker B: Like, you still got to sell it. You gotta. [00:33:57] Speaker A: Still gotta look at them and listen to them and they're like, yeah. [00:34:01] Speaker B: I struggled the same way with this one. It literally took me a month to watch it in four segments. [00:34:06] Speaker A: You watch it in four parts, like the Thornbirds, like a miniseries. [00:34:11] Speaker B: Yeah. Do you watch it all the way through? [00:34:14] Speaker C: I did, yeah. Did you watch it recently or the last time? I haven't watched it in years, but I have put it on during, like this. It's on Spotify. And you can put it on during, like, road trips. So I have listened to it as recently as within this past year. And then I watched it again and did it. Yeah, I still liked it all the way through. [00:34:37] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you not like his. What didn't you like what made it so hard for you? [00:34:43] Speaker B: There's just something a bit. He uses physicality and I hate that. You know, I'm gonna run around the stage and does can't stand. So that kind of turned me off. I don't know, Maybe it was a mood thing, because I will say this. So it really was hard work to get through this because I just was like, I don't really. I mean, there's nothing wrong with the material. Just something wasn't clicking, you know. And then I had a really. So this morning I was like, Ah, 20 minutes left. I gotta finish this thing off. And then it absolutely hit me this morning. Oh, my God. It terrified me, the ending to it, because he did that anecdote about how the cop basically effed him over. [00:35:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:31] Speaker B: And stuff. [00:35:32] Speaker A: Which is great. [00:35:33] Speaker B: And then. And then he went down this mental rabbit hole of this isn't right. I haven't it. And I'm going, oh, my God, this guy is fucking me. And this could be me. [00:35:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:45] Speaker B: And I actually was, like, petrified. I was like, can a cop really just go, I fucked up my accident report, so you got to give this guy 12 grand. I mean, that's what it is. And I'm just sitting there like, please tell me that's not what happened. And then he does the thing about his wife at the end, says to him, you know, yes, you're right, but you, you just gonna have to let it go. And at that point, I almost, like, cried like, Jesus Christ. Like, that could be me one day. Well, I'm in the throes of something very similar to that. So it's like, would you like to. [00:36:24] Speaker A: Go into detail about that? [00:36:25] Speaker B: I think, no, I would not. And then. And then his final line was awesome. It was. I've given up on the idea of being right. I wrote that down. Like, I'm not sure I can get to that. Yeah. So that last 10 minutes crept up on me and, like, mugged me right at the end. There's something that I could relate to. [00:36:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Very strange way to end a comedy special. Right. Like, I don't think I've quite seen or experienced. [00:36:52] Speaker B: And he pulled the projector down. I love that. [00:36:54] Speaker A: Yeah, that was really just. Well, you love that shit. [00:36:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I love that shit. [00:36:58] Speaker A: And I'm like PowerPoint comedy. [00:36:59] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:36:59] Speaker B: Yeah. He did it just for literally two minutes. [00:37:02] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:37:03] Speaker B: He could have read it, just thought, here's what it is. [00:37:06] Speaker A: That was brilliant. Yeah, I mean, I, I, this guy's brilliant many, many ways, right? Like, yeah, he's a great storyteller. The way that this thing just kind of, it's like the story of his life kind of. And it just in some ways, like, who's the, the Beth selling, like, she's a great life storyteller too. She has the same kind of flow. But I mean, that ending report, that ending, that, that ending with the accident report and that, the thing, I, I just didn't, I just thought, like, when he said that, I've given up on the idea in the way he says it. Right? Yeah, I've given up on the idea of being right. Right. Like, fuck you, stop saying that like that. But like, kind of pompous too, right? Like, I'm always right, but I won't always expect everything. [00:38:05] Speaker C: He says that in the beginning, doesn't he, doesn't he say something about like. [00:38:09] Speaker A: So it's really. [00:38:10] Speaker C: Well, well, the thing is, but like, if you're always right, you're just always right. [00:38:13] Speaker A: Yeah, no, he says, like, I know I'm right. [00:38:16] Speaker C: Right. [00:38:17] Speaker A: I'm right. Not everybody else realizes I'm right. Something like that. [00:38:20] Speaker C: Something like that. [00:38:22] Speaker A: But yeah, I was like. [00:38:27] Speaker B: It didn't put me off that much because. [00:38:29] Speaker A: So you ended up like, you ended on a high note. [00:38:31] Speaker B: Yeah, I ended up liking, not liking the first 70 minutes, but loving the last 10 minutes or whatever it was. [00:38:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:38] Speaker B: Just because it resonated with me. That was all. Yeah. I mean, it's that like you say it's the Hannah Gasby thing and it's like, well, I'm a stand up comedian, but I want to give it more depth. So I'm gonna. [00:38:51] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:38:52] Speaker B: End with a profound statement. [00:38:55] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, so I kind of liked it. And it was, it was engaging. That's not the right word. It was, I was, you know, I was enjoying it. No, I wasn't enjoying it. I was watching. Was long. It was long. It went over an hour, right? [00:39:19] Speaker B: This hour and 15. [00:39:20] Speaker A: Yeah, that was long. Especially because I was really trying to watch it, to get over here to record it that day, which ended up not happening. So I was clock watching. But yeah, I mean, I like how schlubby he dresses. Right. And like, this was plan, this wasn't plan B. This was the outfit I picked for this, like, you know, The. The oversized shirt, oxford shirt, and baggy jeans like that I like. We always talk about comedians. [00:39:47] Speaker B: Oh, I thought he was dressed sort of very white collar. [00:39:50] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, Prep schoolie. [00:39:51] Speaker C: I saw him at Stepan Wolf. [00:39:54] Speaker A: Really? [00:39:54] Speaker C: A couple years ago. A friend of mine, she had gotten tickets. My friend Lauren, she's in real estate. So if you need a place. [00:40:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:01] Speaker C: You know, let Lauren commercial. Yeah. You can email me at [email protected]. [00:40:06] Speaker B: Does Lauren want to sponsor the podcast? [00:40:09] Speaker C: Yeah, she does. She said the other day, she told me that. [00:40:13] Speaker A: Do we have any sponsors yet? No. [00:40:15] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, they're queuing up. We got to pick the right one. Yeah, we're going to pick the right brand identity. [00:40:22] Speaker A: They want to ruin our Bill's whiffling camp. That's a good one. [00:40:26] Speaker C: Did he say whiffling camp? [00:40:28] Speaker A: Wiffling. Yeah, that's my Wiffle ball camp. Oh, I'll sponsor it. [00:40:33] Speaker C: Well, good. There we go. So anyway, yeah, I saw him at Steppenwolf, and he was wearing a shirt that was way too small for him. [00:40:40] Speaker A: Really? [00:40:40] Speaker C: That was kind of weird. Yeah, it was just paunchy. I mean, you know, he wasn't like. He looked exactly like he does in this special. I mean, no different, but the shirt was just noticeably small. [00:40:53] Speaker B: I call that the child molester look. Sometimes. Yeah. Like, sometimes I won't throw a T shirt away because I'm attached to it. And then I blimp up. [00:41:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:04] Speaker B: And if I put it on, I'm walking around, you know, and it's like. [00:41:06] Speaker A: Like Scotty from Boogie Nights. Philip Seymour Hoffman and Boogie Nights. [00:41:11] Speaker B: And I call that the child molester look. [00:41:13] Speaker A: Look. Yeah. Not a good look. [00:41:15] Speaker B: No. Scotty, that's such a good scene. [00:41:19] Speaker A: Oh, my God, that's great. [00:41:21] Speaker B: Derek, the former handyman slash cast member, does one impression and it's. It's where Philip Seymour Hoffman, you know, he tries to kiss him and then he rejects him and he goes, so stupid. I'm stupid. And Derek, there's an impression of that, that he's so good that he told his Mrs. Tells him to stop doing it, like he'll do it. And she's like, I hate that. I hate that. And he does the Seymour Hoffman, I'm so stupid. Stupid. [00:41:52] Speaker A: Just that scene. [00:41:53] Speaker B: No, just that line. Literally. Just that thing. It'd be good. It'd be a good tool in the toolbox, though, if you, like, pull it out. [00:42:02] Speaker A: Parties anytime. [00:42:03] Speaker B: Yeah. And just, like, if you do something stupid, just do that in front of the cashier at Target. [00:42:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Think they'll get it? I doubt it. The cashier. [00:42:14] Speaker B: If someone did in front of me, I would immediately go, yeah. Hoffman. Boogie Night. [00:42:18] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Is that the same as Boogie Nights? Boogie Nights, yeah, But the same film. We're talking about the same film. [00:42:25] Speaker B: Oh, it is an interesting one. I met my Mrs. Heather after watching Boogie Nights. [00:42:34] Speaker A: Really? [00:42:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:35] Speaker A: At the. [00:42:36] Speaker B: At the pictures or at the pictures with another woman called Heather. [00:42:41] Speaker A: Who? Heather. Steve Albini's wife. [00:42:44] Speaker C: Heather. [00:42:45] Speaker A: Remember her? [00:42:46] Speaker B: Oh, Heather Locklear. [00:42:49] Speaker A: Locklear. Okay. I'm familiar. [00:42:53] Speaker B: No. Yeah. However, because that's how I'm like, okay, when did I meet my Mrs. And I'm like, okay, I just went to see Boogie Nights. It had just been released. So it's this many years. [00:43:06] Speaker A: Wow. Yeah, I like. I wasn't a Heather. I liked Heather Thomas. Do you remember her? She was on the Fall Guy at the same time as Heather Lockle. She was hotter. She was in Zapped with Scott Baio and Williams. [00:43:19] Speaker B: It's funny how there was a look. Incredibly sexist. Let's get it out. Like if you look at every like hit series of the 80s, it was just like a mold. They were. [00:43:31] Speaker A: Yes, yes, it was. Great mold too. [00:43:35] Speaker B: We need a hot woman to be in this series with. [00:43:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:39] Speaker B: Like Lee Majors. [00:43:40] Speaker A: Yes, yes. [00:43:41] Speaker B: Go get the mold out. [00:43:43] Speaker A: Yes. [00:43:43] Speaker B: Crank another one out. [00:43:44] Speaker A: Yep. It was what they call the golden age of television for me anyway. [00:43:50] Speaker B: And we need, we need an old man to give it breath. [00:43:54] Speaker A: Yep, yep. [00:43:56] Speaker B: What else would. Oh, they'd have like the goofy sidekick, like the cooter or whatever. Right? [00:44:00] Speaker A: Yeah, you have a Cooter. You have a. A blonde bombshell. [00:44:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:05] Speaker A: And a 58 year old man. [00:44:06] Speaker B: Yeah. Boom, there it is. There's your series. What's he. What, what vehicle does he have? We've done everything except. [00:44:18] Speaker A: Yeah, we got Knight Rider, Matt Houston, the fall guy. Magnum PI Airwolf. Airwolf. [00:44:31] Speaker B: It was a motorcycle One Night. No, Nighthawk was motorcycle. [00:44:34] Speaker A: Nighthawk, yeah. All the same. [00:44:36] Speaker B: Helicopter was Airwolf. But Blue Thunder was a film. But then he made it into a series. [00:44:41] Speaker A: They made Blue Thunder in a TV show. [00:44:43] Speaker B: Yeah, Roy Scheider, wasn't it? [00:44:44] Speaker A: Well, that was a movie. [00:44:46] Speaker B: I thought they went tv. [00:44:47] Speaker A: Who is the bad guy in Blue Thunder? Do you remember? [00:44:50] Speaker B: I never saw it. [00:44:51] Speaker A: Rutger Hauer. [00:44:52] Speaker B: All right, cool. I will immediately run out and see it. [00:44:57] Speaker A: That was one of the first films I ever saw on vhs. [00:45:00] Speaker B: I've got. I still haven't watched it. Maybe we'll have a watch party. I worked For a Dutch guy. And he was telling me, oh, Rutger Howell, when he was young, made this movie called Spetters, which is Dutch for spitters, and it's a set around motocross. Because he knew I was into motorbikes, because, yeah, it's a typical Dutch movie. There's just swearing and nudity and happening. I thought, how a motocross movie. I got to see that. [00:45:27] Speaker A: Never found it. [00:45:28] Speaker B: I found it on vhs, but I still haven't cracked it yet. [00:45:31] Speaker A: Oh, that's a night. [00:45:31] Speaker B: Let's get five years. [00:45:32] Speaker A: Get that on the books. [00:45:33] Speaker B: I assume it's in Dutch with subtitles as well. [00:45:37] Speaker A: Yeah. I'll bring the Italian ice. Let me know. [00:45:40] Speaker C: We could do some stand up. [00:45:41] Speaker A: We do stand up before in your basement. We got to have. We should start having shows in your basement. Yeah, I mean, we did that once. We had a little show down there. The crossed the cross. Was that it? We had an actual roast, though, for him at the links hall. [00:45:55] Speaker B: Yeah, that was. That was an afterthought. That was a disaster. But the cross in my basement was. Was well received. Remember I had that cake with Paul Lind on it? [00:46:07] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. What was the occasion? He was moving. No. [00:46:11] Speaker B: One of his many moves. One of his many moves. Yeah, Bob. [00:46:16] Speaker A: Right, Wrap up party. [00:46:17] Speaker B: I had to really turn the charm on to get it to do Paul Lind on a cake. Because she's like, is it. Where did you get this image from? I said, oh, I just got it off the web. And she's like, well, it was copyrighted. We can't put it on the cake. [00:46:30] Speaker A: Jewel there. That kind of hard time. [00:46:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:32] Speaker A: Jesus. I think they give a shit. All right, well, this one's gonna be a harder one to. Let's fucking. I'm gonna be combative. I'm gonna be combative, but I'm gonna do it in a soft way. I hate this guy. I don't like his act. I acknowledge he can write, but I don't like him. He's too white collar for me. He can go himself. I'm giving it two big thumbs down. Piss off, Mike Barbaglia. [00:47:04] Speaker B: Use the vernacular. [00:47:05] Speaker C: Yeah. You can't do thumbs. [00:47:06] Speaker A: Oh, what do we. What's our vernacular? [00:47:10] Speaker B: You don't even know. [00:47:11] Speaker A: Oh, it's not. [00:47:12] Speaker C: You made the name of it. [00:47:13] Speaker A: I think we need to change it. [00:47:16] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what we need. Another change. [00:47:17] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. We should be working all this out. [00:47:20] Speaker B: It only took nine episodes to get the name. [00:47:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:26] Speaker B: Do it Not. [00:47:27] Speaker A: Isn't. Isn't that not that's not special. [00:47:33] Speaker B: So now I have to disagree with you so you can become combative, right? [00:47:36] Speaker A: No, no, I'm bad. [00:47:40] Speaker B: It's not special enough. You can't just. Man cannot live on the last 10 minutes alone. [00:47:47] Speaker A: Yeah, it's so good. But I just don't like him. [00:47:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:51] Speaker A: You know, he talks too much about all his dates that he goes on and then he talks about his shows. That was on my way to another show in la. I was doing like off. I don't get. When I hear about all your shows that you do. [00:48:02] Speaker B: I wouldn't say he's big headed. [00:48:05] Speaker A: Yeah. Yes. [00:48:05] Speaker B: It's just not. Maybe. Maybe hanging out with you has twisted me into someone that likes, you know, pure aisle scumbags in. In sweatpants, talking about in their dicks. [00:48:24] Speaker A: Well, you're no highbrow guy yourself. [00:48:26] Speaker B: No, I am. I can be highbrow. [00:48:27] Speaker A: You can. [00:48:28] Speaker B: No. Yeah. I love highbrow. [00:48:29] Speaker A: No, no. You're a grease monkey. [00:48:32] Speaker B: All right. We should throw this over to Christian. Anyway. [00:48:35] Speaker A: We know what he thinks. [00:48:36] Speaker B: He made us watch it. Now he's better justify. Justify it. [00:48:40] Speaker A: We hate it. Tell us why we shouldn't. [00:48:42] Speaker C: I think I like it for all the reasons that. Well, the reasons I don't understand that you both don't like it. You know, I think I like it just because I look at the guy. He's a good storyteller and I like his act. But all these points that you're bringing up, never even. Like they're not even on my radar, you know, Like I. I would never think about the fact that he is a white collar or talks about his shows or, you know, or like he gets soft when he says like that. Those things just don't bother me. [00:49:11] Speaker A: So now you hate it? [00:49:12] Speaker C: No, I still like it. Yeah, I'll watch it again. [00:49:15] Speaker A: But you'll be thinking about things we hate and you won't enjoy it. [00:49:17] Speaker C: I probably won't. [00:49:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I ruined. [00:49:19] Speaker C: No, I probably won't think about the things that you hate. It's. [00:49:22] Speaker A: Oh, you won't think. [00:49:22] Speaker C: No, no, I won't. Doesn't change my mind at all. [00:49:26] Speaker A: Well, I don't want to necessarily plug this, but he's got a new one coming out. [00:49:32] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:32] Speaker B: Can someone explain this though? I wrote a note saying funny strobe light bit. What's the funny. [00:49:38] Speaker A: Oh yeah, that was. There's so many good. [00:49:40] Speaker C: Oh yeah, he's talking about. He's. He's. He was dancing with somebody. It was a high school dance or something and he was saying like, so she could only see me like one. [00:49:48] Speaker A: Yeah. I couldn't see how bad at the time. [00:49:50] Speaker C: Yeah, she couldn't tell how bad I was. [00:49:51] Speaker A: Great. That was great. [00:49:54] Speaker B: I couldn't find it because I wrote down, if I have to break in the middle of it, I write, you know, the time. So I wrote 30 minutes, 28 seconds. And my only note was, funny strobe, light bit. Okay. That's where I'm getting back to. I couldn't find the thing anymore. [00:50:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Now you remember, right? That was a good. [00:50:11] Speaker B: No, I don't actually need a lot of good bits. [00:50:15] Speaker A: He's. He's great. [00:50:17] Speaker C: What's the. Do you know the name of the new one that you're talking about? No, I. The one that I saw at Steppenwolf was. He was working on it at the time. It was called the Old man in the Pool. [00:50:26] Speaker A: Maybe that's what. [00:50:26] Speaker C: And it was good. I mean, I liked it and I. It was. It's. It's kind of funny because he goes in these, like, long, roundabout storytelling ways where he'll, you know, he'll leave a story and go off onto this whole. And you might forget about the original story, and then he'll come back to it, which is one of the things that I like that he does. And I always wondered, like, how does he remember where he was in the story? You know, so it's a lot of thinking to do up there. And during the Steppenwolf show, he actually lost a train of thought. At one point, he had to, like, in front of everybody. Walker stuff. [00:50:59] Speaker B: That would be a funny thing. [00:51:02] Speaker C: He could have. I don't think he did, but, yeah, in. [00:51:06] Speaker B: I used to like this TV show called Bottom, and they did a live tour of it, and we thought we were getting a moment of genius where they'd forgotten the script and just started dicking around. And then you found out they just do that. [00:51:19] Speaker C: They do that. [00:51:20] Speaker B: They do it every night and they just change the name of the city. [00:51:23] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. So it's part of the act. [00:51:26] Speaker B: Never trust the comedian. [00:51:28] Speaker A: No. [00:51:31] Speaker B: Bollocks. I just had a question I was going to ask you about. [00:51:35] Speaker C: Was it about straw blades? [00:51:37] Speaker B: No, it was about Birbiglia. Never mind. We're way over. Way over. [00:51:48] Speaker A: All right, well. [00:51:51] Speaker B: Time for the big reveal of what. [00:51:53] Speaker A: What's next? [00:51:54] Speaker C: Yeah, I hope you think something quick. Yeah, no, I have something already. I stumbled upon this and. And watched it, and I thought it might be how. Okay. However, we have done a lot of, like, just straight white. [00:52:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Can it Be another white guy, right? [00:52:11] Speaker C: No, but that. I like white guys anyway, so. Yeah, for. [00:52:16] Speaker A: Look at him. He think. [00:52:17] Speaker C: Look at. [00:52:18] Speaker A: He's thinking of it right now. He has no idea what it is. No, he's just trying to remember what he's thought about. He had. [00:52:23] Speaker C: Look, I will show you. I'll show you. I even looked up during what. So I didn't get the special name wrong. All right. I even looked it up during this podcast. I'm not bullshitting you right now. The next one is Joe Time. [00:52:35] Speaker A: Joe Dirt. [00:52:36] Speaker C: Joe Dirt. It's Joe Pera. Slow and steady is the name of the special. [00:52:45] Speaker A: Okay. Joe Pera. White man. [00:52:46] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:52:47] Speaker A: Middle aged white man. [00:52:48] Speaker C: Another. Yeah. However, when I was looking up the special, I don't know if it was coming. Yeah, well, it's another white man. Yes. [00:52:54] Speaker A: Okay, well, you can bury that one. [00:52:57] Speaker B: In the can is another one I've heard of extensively as a God of comedy. Not heard one. [00:53:02] Speaker A: Joe Perry. I've never heard of that before. [00:53:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:05] Speaker A: Joe Pera. How do you spell it? [00:53:06] Speaker C: P E, R, A. Yeah. [00:53:08] Speaker A: Joe Pera. [00:53:09] Speaker C: Pera. [00:53:10] Speaker A: Joe Pera. [00:53:11] Speaker B: I think Deanna was trying to book him at one point, but he's kind of bigger than. [00:53:15] Speaker C: Yeah, he's. He's gotten kind of big now. [00:53:16] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. All right, Joe Pera. What's the name of the special? [00:53:20] Speaker C: Slow and Steady. [00:53:21] Speaker A: Okay. Gotta have a name like that or something. Yep. [00:53:24] Speaker B: He could have made so many puns off his name. [00:53:27] Speaker A: Joe Pera. [00:53:27] Speaker B: Paradise. [00:53:30] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Paradoxical. [00:53:32] Speaker B: Yeah. This is a million of them. [00:53:36] Speaker A: Paraprofessional. [00:53:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:38] Speaker C: That was his first special. Yeah, yeah. [00:53:41] Speaker B: Para. [00:53:43] Speaker A: Paraplegic. [00:53:44] Speaker B: Yeah, I thought of that, but I. I backed off of saying it. [00:53:49] Speaker A: Why? Because. [00:53:50] Speaker B: Well, because he's probably got all his arms and legs. [00:53:52] Speaker A: Yeah, he does. [00:53:54] Speaker C: He's got two of each. [00:53:56] Speaker A: Para. Periamenopause. [00:54:01] Speaker C: What? [00:54:01] Speaker B: Perennium. [00:54:02] Speaker A: Perennium. [00:54:04] Speaker B: That's your tank, right? [00:54:05] Speaker A: That's your taint. Yes, yes, it is. You're. You're chode, as it were. [00:54:12] Speaker C: Paraguay is coming up. [00:54:13] Speaker B: Oh, I forgot. [00:54:14] Speaker C: Pair of names. What? [00:54:16] Speaker B: I forgot to bring in a. I was gonna bring in a profanosaurus. [00:54:20] Speaker A: Oh, a new one. [00:54:22] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. They do on every. They do on every magazine. [00:54:25] Speaker A: They still making them? [00:54:26] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:54:27] Speaker A: What? Yeah, I still got the couple that you've. You gave me on my desk is like next to the dictionary. Joy of cooking. And then the profanosaurus. [00:54:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:36] Speaker A: And then Strunk and White Elements of Style. [00:54:40] Speaker B: If you remember to send me. Just send me a text, obviously three weeks ahead of time. So I actually get to it and say profanosaurus, and I'll bring. It could be. Let's be honest. This. This whole podcast is a little on the moribund side. It could be a segment. [00:54:57] Speaker A: What does that mean? Moribund means dying. [00:55:00] Speaker B: Or, yeah, we could do a segment where you do a segment where you go through the profanosaurus. No, I'll go through it, and you have to guess, like, you know, what does it mean? [00:55:15] Speaker A: Yeah, that'd be fun. Yeah, let's do that. [00:55:17] Speaker B: What does Mexican Lipstick mean, Bill? What is that? A swear word. [00:55:20] Speaker A: I do know that. Do you want me to answer? [00:55:22] Speaker C: Yes. [00:55:23] Speaker A: Mexican lipstick. These are not my opinions. Right. This is. I did not come up with this term, but it. I believe it's when a man gives oral pleasure to a woman who's up on blocks, as it were. [00:55:36] Speaker B: Yeah. Liverpool are playing at home. [00:55:39] Speaker A: I don't know that one. And walks away with a raspberry smile. [00:55:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Maybe we shouldn't do. Maybe we shouldn't. Maybe we shouldn't do this. [00:55:47] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe not. Those are not my. Those are not my terms. Those are Mark's terms. [00:55:55] Speaker B: None of my terms. [00:55:56] Speaker A: Well, you came up with them. I don't know if you. If you call the film Boogie Nights. Boogie Nights. What do you call the film? The Boogeyman? The bogeyman. [00:56:08] Speaker C: No, the boogeyman. [00:56:09] Speaker A: The boogeyman. The boogie. [00:56:11] Speaker B: There's no such thing as a boogeyman. [00:56:12] Speaker A: The boogeyman. Oh, you would say boogie Boogeyman. [00:56:15] Speaker B: Fungus. The bogeyman. [00:56:18] Speaker A: Bogeyman. No, boogeyman. I mean. All right, good night.