Review: Night Thoughts, Kumail Nanjiani

[00:00:10] Speaker A: You can play a piece of music. You don't play X amount of seconds. [00:00:15] Speaker B: Oh, it cuts the song off when I hit the applause button. [00:00:22] Speaker A: Chick. Chick. Sounds like one of those awful bands you get when you walk into a bar and it's just like, yeah, we're the local band and we're gonna play some southern boogie rock. Do you want to get your toes tap in? [00:00:46] Speaker B: Do you want to guess who it was? [00:00:49] Speaker A: Like George Thorogood and the Destroyers. [00:00:52] Speaker B: Close. You're in the right. You're in the right area. [00:00:55] Speaker C: Give him another taste. Name that tune. There's a new feature on the show. Name that. [00:01:02] Speaker B: This is like Heard. You're telling me about Heard, right, Mark? The New York Times. Isn't it where. That's where you hear a clip of a song, you have to name it. [00:01:13] Speaker C: Yeah, we were talking about that. [00:01:14] Speaker B: Yeah, Heard. [00:01:15] Speaker C: Heard. Yeah, yeah, we're playing that now. [00:01:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:19] Speaker C: All right, so once you hear it, [00:01:22] Speaker B: once you hear the. The vocals, I think it'll kick in one of a. [00:01:29] Speaker A: You pay the man, you pay your dues. Acd. [00:01:34] Speaker B: Hey, there you go. [00:01:35] Speaker A: That sounds right. [00:01:37] Speaker B: What's that? [00:01:38] Speaker A: Do you ever listen to any Status Quo? [00:01:40] Speaker B: No. [00:01:41] Speaker A: It was a British band and they basically made a 50 year career playing the same song like ACDC did. [00:01:52] Speaker C: Is that why they were called Status Quo? [00:01:54] Speaker A: I mean. [00:01:55] Speaker C: I mean, because they play the same thing? [00:01:57] Speaker B: Yeah, it's right there, isn't it? [00:01:58] Speaker C: Right. [00:01:59] Speaker A: The only song they ever had famous in America, I think, was Pictures of Matchstick Men, which is very psychedelic. [00:02:05] Speaker B: You ever seen the movie Matchstick Men? [00:02:07] Speaker C: Sure. [00:02:07] Speaker B: Nicholas Cage, Sam Rockwell. It's a good one. [00:02:09] Speaker C: He's Sam. He's in that, right? [00:02:11] Speaker B: Which one is Sam Rockwell? Is he the cowboy and there's a [00:02:14] Speaker C: little girl in it? [00:02:15] Speaker B: Yeah, but she's famous. Wasn't she the one in Stranger Things? No, no, I'm thinking about the Professional. [00:02:23] Speaker C: Yeah, that's Natalie Portman. Yeah, I just saw. Speaking of movies, Run Out, Run, Don't Walk to see Devil Wears Prada. Oh, yeah, yeah. [00:02:35] Speaker B: Do you have to see the first to see for the second one to make sense? [00:02:38] Speaker C: Probably. [00:02:39] Speaker B: Why did they just call it the Devil Still Wearing Prada? [00:02:41] Speaker C: That would have been. Yeah. [00:02:42] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:02:43] Speaker C: I'm sure they considered it. [00:02:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:02:45] Speaker C: The devil Continues to wear Prada. [00:02:47] Speaker B: Guess what? Nothing's changed. [00:02:48] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. Saw that yesterday over at the New City. [00:02:51] Speaker B: It was good. [00:02:53] Speaker A: Date night. [00:02:53] Speaker B: No, funny. [00:02:54] Speaker C: No, date day. A girls day out. My. My two ladies. My wife and my daughter. I really like the first one. I love Anne Hathaway. [00:03:05] Speaker B: Yeah. Is she in the second one? [00:03:06] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, and Hathaway. Natalie Portman. That must have been what made me think of it. [00:03:10] Speaker B: Lots of years, apart from the two movies, right? [00:03:12] Speaker C: Yeah, but first of all, I think 10. [00:03:15] Speaker B: Only that. [00:03:16] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:03:16] Speaker B: Really? [00:03:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:17] Speaker C: One of the. [00:03:18] Speaker B: The other one came out in 2016. Yeah, I thought it. I thought that was like a 2010. [00:03:23] Speaker C: Oh, maybe it did. Maybe 2006. [00:03:24] Speaker B: Yeah, that's what I would say. I think so. Yeah. Cuz I don't think I was even in Chicago yet when that movie came out. I moved here in 2006. [00:03:31] Speaker C: Maybe. Yeah, maybe 20 years. Fuck. [00:03:33] Speaker B: Or 2009. Right. [00:03:35] Speaker C: There was a preview. There's a preview before of a new film coming out, Practical Magic 2. Do you remember Practical Magic 1? [00:03:46] Speaker B: No. [00:03:47] Speaker C: Starring Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman. And these two gals, Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, look younger now than they did 20 years ago in Practical Magic 1. [00:03:59] Speaker B: Do you think it's the effects or do you think they actually look younger in real life walking around? [00:04:03] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:04:04] Speaker B: Do you think it's practically magic? [00:04:06] Speaker C: I don't know. But like every, every woman I see on a screen looks a now like my daughter was showing me some pictures of like friends or whatever. And these girls, they're all. I don't know. Is it filtered? [00:04:20] Speaker B: Yeah, the filter? Yeah. Right. [00:04:23] Speaker C: They don't even look real people. [00:04:25] Speaker A: And they used to smear Vaseline on the legs. Yeah, they did Barbara Walters. [00:04:29] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Was it Barbara Walters or was it Elizabeth Taylor? Oh, yeah, I think Barbara. [00:04:34] Speaker B: Probably a pretty common trick. Yeah, probably a certain Vaseline sort of person. You put the Vaseline on the lens for. [00:04:41] Speaker C: Can you do that on your phone and would it do? [00:04:43] Speaker B: Yeah, probably. Why not? Right? Just put on the camera lens. [00:04:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:46] Speaker B: You don't need to though, you know. [00:04:47] Speaker A: Yeah, you just got filter. Hit the Vaseline filter. [00:04:53] Speaker B: Sponsored by Vaseline. [00:04:54] Speaker C: Word of the wise on the Vaseline. Last week I had horrible chafing and jock rash from being outside in the humidity all day. And I lathered up my inner thighs and buttock because it was so chafed. [00:05:10] Speaker A: Talking of skin disease, what did you spray on your goddamn oven that made my hands. My hands. Did I show them to you? [00:05:20] Speaker B: No, because you were fixing something in his oven, right? [00:05:22] Speaker A: Yeah. Gooning around with his oven. And the next day my backs of my hands. Burn victim. Really? [00:05:31] Speaker B: Was it on? [00:05:31] Speaker C: You had some kind of allergic reaction to what was in there? That thing's just a glorified frozen pizza cooker. That oven, I don't know. [00:05:39] Speaker A: Oh my God, that back of my hands look like a frozen pizza. [00:05:42] Speaker C: I ain't sprayed nothing in there. [00:05:45] Speaker B: I don't even. [00:05:45] Speaker A: Something wrong. [00:05:46] Speaker C: I don't even clean it. I ain't sprayed nothing. [00:05:49] Speaker A: Your oven, something wrong there. [00:05:51] Speaker C: How do you clean the oven? You just turn on that thing and then it would heats up to like a thousand. [00:05:56] Speaker B: When I was in college, I had a landlord that I lived with like four other college guys and I had a landlord that bought us a new oven and she was showing us how to use it. She's like, this is how you bake. You know, you hit the bake button. This is how you broil. And this is a self cleaning option. I said, well, how does self cleaning work? And I was kidding. I said, how does self cleaning work? Do like suds come out of the side and everything? And she said, yeah, I think so. I think suds and like it fills up with water and everything. And I said, okay, then can we use it as a dishwasher too? [00:06:20] Speaker C: She was kidding. [00:06:20] Speaker B: No, no, she was. She was dead serious. [00:06:22] Speaker C: No, no. [00:06:23] Speaker B: Yep. Yeah. [00:06:24] Speaker C: Come on. [00:06:24] Speaker B: Dead serious. I think there's water and suds that come out the side. I said, can we use it as a dishwasher? I don't think, I don't think like [00:06:29] Speaker C: it's a car wash. [00:06:29] Speaker B: I don't think you can do that though. [00:06:32] Speaker A: There was a British. I think it was a British comedian. It was a comedian around a jug like, I have a self cleaning oven and I sit up all night waiting [00:06:39] Speaker C: to see it, see somebody come out and clean it. [00:06:41] Speaker A: Yeah. See? See what it does. [00:06:43] Speaker C: Yeah. I feel like there's been a couple jokes about that. I wasn't trying to make a joke. I was just thinking like that would be the only thing you'd spray in the oven to clean. I've never cleaned it like that. So I don't know what gave you this plaque psoriasis that you're dealing with now. [00:06:55] Speaker A: How bad was was like bad. I was like, what the hell is going on? Spreading my. Do you remember? It was like, really? No, it stopped. It just went on the back of my hands. I put all this shit on it for a couple of days and it went. But it was definitely caused by your oven because, you know, I was fiddling around. [00:07:13] Speaker C: Yeah, you're really in there. [00:07:14] Speaker A: Goddamn screw that would come loose. It was because that my hands were rubbing up against that, that heater element that we were kicking around with. I know. Maybe ask Begain if he ever gets. Well, he only works on High end shit. And he. So, yeah, probably put in arm. [00:07:32] Speaker B: He's not sponsoring us anymore. We can't get advert. He is. Yes, well, we haven't been keeping up our side with the sex stories. [00:07:38] Speaker C: Yeah, well, we'll make up for a [00:07:40] Speaker A: lot of time today because he's putting high end. [00:07:44] Speaker C: He's not cleaning ovens. He's putting Viking Wolf. [00:07:49] Speaker B: I just don't want to give anyway free advertising. We already advertised for Vaseline for nothing. [00:07:54] Speaker C: Well, here. I'm sure he's a slippery slope. I'm sure he's listening right now. And one of the reasons why I reached out about the T shirt size was he said biggain's back. Because I think we talked about it on the last show. We said he doesn't give us anything. [00:08:07] Speaker B: Right? Yeah, he doesn't. [00:08:09] Speaker C: And we asked, we said, I think we asked for lunch. We asked for something, anything at all. So he immediately responded after that episode and said, t shirts for all the boys. What are the sizes? So, Bill Begain, I know you're listening. Mark is a large and Christian's a large. I'm a large. We're all larges, but we're all different body shapes. [00:08:33] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, you're a tall large. [00:08:37] Speaker A: You're a gaunt large. I'm a fat bastard large. He's a stocky large. [00:08:42] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, we're all different larges. [00:08:44] Speaker C: Yeah, we couldn't be different right body wise, but we're all larges. Strange. Strange. [00:08:50] Speaker A: Well, I will hopefully in another 10 to 15 pounds be back into. [00:08:55] Speaker B: Yeah, keep at it. [00:08:56] Speaker A: Be back into a medium. [00:08:58] Speaker C: Is that where you're trying to get medium? [00:08:59] Speaker B: That's what we were talking about before [00:09:00] Speaker A: I got all these awesome medium T shirts. [00:09:03] Speaker C: Yeah, me too. [00:09:03] Speaker A: And you're just like, ah, can hell, you know. [00:09:07] Speaker C: So what would it take you to. So, all right, so we were talking about this earlier. You're on a. You're on a crash diet. What would you call the diet you're on? It's not crash diet, but it's not corrective. It's not like Atkins corrective diet Keto. It's is. What would you call it? What are you doing? Restriction. [00:09:25] Speaker A: I'm not making food decisions like a child. That's what I would call it. [00:09:31] Speaker C: So you're not eating carnival food. It's a non carnival food diet. [00:09:35] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm not sugaring up. I'm not desert. I'm not. I'm not making decisions like a child when it comes to food. [00:09:41] Speaker C: Okay, and how long have you been on this diet. [00:09:44] Speaker A: When did I go to the doctor? [00:09:46] Speaker B: A few weeks ago. [00:09:48] Speaker A: Three weeks? [00:09:49] Speaker B: Yeah, I think three weeks ago. Because it wasn't less. [00:09:52] Speaker C: And he gave you a relatively clean bill of health, save for you're a [00:09:58] Speaker A: little over high cholesterol, high glucose. [00:10:02] Speaker C: High glucose. What's your. But your weight is probably a normal weight, right? No, it's not. [00:10:09] Speaker A: I am one fat bastard. [00:10:10] Speaker C: Okay, so you're trying to lose. And I can't believe you even said this number 35 pounds. [00:10:16] Speaker A: Yep. [00:10:16] Speaker C: Now, if you've not seen Mark in a while, if you lost 35 pounds, you'd be 100 pounds. [00:10:22] Speaker A: Nope, I've done it before. I'll do it again. [00:10:25] Speaker C: And where are you on. Three weeks into this journey, you're happy to report you've lost about seven. [00:10:31] Speaker B: That's pretty good. [00:10:32] Speaker C: Hit that thing with the clapping and all that. Jesus. [00:10:34] Speaker B: Hold on a second. [00:10:35] Speaker C: Ready? [00:10:36] Speaker B: Oh, that's not it. [00:10:37] Speaker C: Well, that's good. [00:10:38] Speaker B: Oh, there it is. [00:10:39] Speaker C: That's fine. Any kind of effect is good. We're here to support you on the journey and you won't want to support [00:10:46] Speaker A: me, mate, not without some scaffold. [00:10:54] Speaker C: And I'm. You know, I forgot something today when I walked in. I was like, fuck, I forgot it. I had a whole big. You know that big tub of Red Vines we had in here forever? [00:11:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:05] Speaker C: They're finally gone, right? [00:11:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:07] Speaker C: I was going to replace that with a big tub of Andy's cream de mint. [00:11:13] Speaker B: This just came up in conversation between my sisters and I. Yeah. [00:11:16] Speaker C: Yeah. Where you love them or, you know, [00:11:18] Speaker B: they were always around when we were kids and one of my sisters just went out and bought. Yeah, well, yeah, my mom loved them. I don't know. And. And to us, it was like the epitome. Like, that was the rich person's candy. We got them because you also. You got them with your check at places like. Do they have Chi Chi's here like they used to? [00:11:36] Speaker C: I don't think they do. [00:11:37] Speaker B: I think places like. Or like Fancier was a fancy restaurant, but fancier restaurants would give you Andy's mints with the check. And we thought, well, that means you're rich. [00:11:46] Speaker A: Is it the white with swirly color? [00:11:48] Speaker B: No, it's the. It's the sandwich. Chocolate mint chocolate. So chocolate thin line. [00:11:54] Speaker A: Oh, it's an after eight. [00:11:56] Speaker B: Yeah, right. [00:11:56] Speaker A: It's an after. [00:11:57] Speaker C: Kind of after eight is like a. Is like a peppermint pen patty, though, I believe. After eight, I think they're out of business, aren't they? [00:12:02] Speaker A: No, not you. Get you Always got a box of After Eight at Christmas in England. [00:12:07] Speaker C: Those are like a dark chocolate with that, like, is like a little peppermint patty in the inside. These are creme de mint candy. So it's chocolate, like you said, a thin layer of creme de menthe. Creme de menthe creme. [00:12:18] Speaker A: Which is peppermint, right? [00:12:19] Speaker B: Right. [00:12:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:12:21] Speaker B: Mint or spearmint? [00:12:22] Speaker C: Maybe spearmint and then another chocolate and. [00:12:24] Speaker B: Yeah, because peppermint's typically white, isn't it? Spearmint's green. [00:12:28] Speaker A: They're not all loose in nature. They're packaged. [00:12:31] Speaker C: No, they're little. They're little ones. Yeah, they're loose. So you can pound about 50 of [00:12:35] Speaker B: them when you come across a mint in nature. [00:12:38] Speaker C: So, yeah, when you come across peppermint in nature, what does it look like? Where would you. Peppermint is green, dummy. It's a plant white. [00:12:47] Speaker A: If these are all loose, the first disgusting get is gonna plunge. [00:12:52] Speaker C: No, no, no. They got a wrapper on it. They got a wrapper. [00:12:54] Speaker A: I just asked you. No. You said no. [00:12:55] Speaker C: Loose, meaning they're individual, single servings. But they're wrapped. Yeah. No, they're not loose. [00:13:00] Speaker B: Yeah. We always thought they were like the rich people candies. And my sister went out and got. She's like, you know what? I thought I was gonna treat myself. I had a really good day at work. You know, I accomplished a lot, so I stopped. I was like, you know what I'm gonna get myself? I haven't had these since I was a kid. I'm gonna get some Andes mints. And they're trash. They're straight up trash. [00:13:14] Speaker C: I don't know if they're trash. [00:13:15] Speaker B: They weren't cheap, according to Tub. I'll ever call in. [00:13:19] Speaker C: Ever call in. And how is it spelled Chelsea? If you're listening, I've never thought about it and I've never looked closely. Is it spelled Andes? Andes, like the Andes mountains? [00:13:27] Speaker A: Yes. [00:13:27] Speaker C: So is there any relation to. [00:13:29] Speaker B: They have a little picture of the Andes mountains they do on the COVID [00:13:32] Speaker C: How does that have to do with the Andes Mountains? [00:13:33] Speaker B: Because they're. The mint is cool. Like the mountains. [00:13:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:38] Speaker B: Yep. [00:13:38] Speaker A: It's like dying in an avalanche. [00:13:40] Speaker B: Yeah. For your taste buds. Your taste buds get pulverized by snow and rocks. [00:13:46] Speaker C: Well, I meant to bring them and I forgot them. It's probably better that I did. Because you'd be all over them, right? You'd be tempted. [00:13:52] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:13:53] Speaker A: No, I don't want mint. [00:13:54] Speaker C: No, you'd be okay. He'd be relapsing what would you go after? We're gonna try and tempt you with something. What would be the. What would be your kryptonite? Your candy kryptonite? [00:14:02] Speaker B: Ben and Jerry's. [00:14:02] Speaker C: I know it's chalky. You love Chalky. [00:14:05] Speaker B: The tonight dough. [00:14:06] Speaker A: Cadbury's. [00:14:07] Speaker C: Cadbury. [00:14:08] Speaker B: Oh, those are good in the middle. [00:14:10] Speaker A: Not Cadbury's eggs, just Cadbury's in general chocolate bars. [00:14:16] Speaker B: But the real ones. Yeah, yeah. Those are. [00:14:19] Speaker A: You always get. [00:14:19] Speaker B: I don't even like sweets, and I can't resist those if they're around. [00:14:22] Speaker A: You get like, a slab and you're like, I'm just gonna break the end. [00:14:25] Speaker B: Oh, forget it. Especially if you have the crunchy. It's just straight chocolate. Oh, my God. [00:14:28] Speaker A: I mean, it can be straight. We can have almonds or they put, [00:14:31] Speaker B: like, the crisp rice. Yeah, those are great. [00:14:33] Speaker C: It's the United Kingdom's version of Hershey. [00:14:36] Speaker B: So much better than Hershey, but it's their version. Hershey's Wax. Cadbury's. [00:14:40] Speaker A: Well, Cadbury's coming in. Well, Cadbury's have many, many different. [00:14:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:45] Speaker A: Chocolate ball sizes and shapes, but there's. There's. There's a slab that you'll get of chocolate, and you think, I'll just break the end off. [00:14:54] Speaker C: It's not. [00:14:54] Speaker A: Tuck it in. [00:14:55] Speaker C: It's not perforated. Meaning it's not. [00:14:57] Speaker B: No section. You put it in the freezer and then you let it freeze. Then you take it out and you shatter it like a paint. [00:15:01] Speaker C: They still make this? They still. They sell this over here. [00:15:03] Speaker A: They get it in Jewel. Easter and Christmas, they're not quite the [00:15:07] Speaker B: same, though, are they? If you get it Jewel, it tasted [00:15:10] Speaker A: all right to me. [00:15:11] Speaker B: Yeah. Really? Do you think it's the same? [00:15:13] Speaker A: You can pay $80 for a bar. Mrs. Murphy and Sons. [00:15:17] Speaker C: Yeah, they sell it at the bar. [00:15:18] Speaker B: Then you can taste the difference. [00:15:19] Speaker A: Mrs. Murphy has a whole section, as you walk in, of chocolate. Yeah, I mean, Irish bar. [00:15:27] Speaker B: Where is this? Oh, that place. I've heard about this recently. Were you telling me about it? [00:15:31] Speaker A: I mean, it's. They've been doing it forever. [00:15:33] Speaker B: Okay, well, I just heard about it. [00:15:35] Speaker C: So at this Irish bar, they sell English chocolates when you walk in. That doesn't make sense. [00:15:40] Speaker A: They sell a bunch of English shit, but this, they're catering to the patties. And now you get Cadbury's in Ireland. [00:15:45] Speaker B: I think somebody was telling me they have the good blood pudding over there at Mrs. Murphy's. Do they have blood pudding in England? Is that popular? [00:15:53] Speaker A: That's where it's from. [00:15:54] Speaker B: Is that. Orig. Is. That's where. That's where it originated. [00:15:56] Speaker A: Black pudding. Yeah. [00:15:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. [00:15:58] Speaker A: Yep. [00:15:59] Speaker B: What about the white squeakers? Where's the white? [00:16:01] Speaker A: The funny thing is, is you never, ever, ever got black pudding south of Sheffield. [00:16:08] Speaker C: He said blood pudding. [00:16:10] Speaker B: It could be one of the same, though. [00:16:12] Speaker A: You never. In England, you never got black pudding south of Sheffield. It was a northern Scottish thing, but now you go there, it's all over. [00:16:22] Speaker B: Oh, is Scotland where it came from then? That would make sense because of all the cattle. [00:16:27] Speaker C: ACDC's from Scotland. [00:16:28] Speaker B: Yeah. And that's what. [00:16:30] Speaker C: Angus Young. [00:16:32] Speaker B: That's where this guy's from. [00:16:34] Speaker C: Hold on. Play that. I want to hear that. [00:16:36] Speaker A: Oh, that. [00:16:36] Speaker C: Oh, this is a Angus. [00:16:38] Speaker A: Same one. This is smoking in the boys room. [00:16:41] Speaker C: It sounded like the riff from smoking in the boys room. [00:16:44] Speaker B: Angus beef is how they make blood pudding, too. Isn't that wild? [00:16:48] Speaker C: Angus beef is from Scotland. [00:16:50] Speaker A: No, black pudding is all lips and. [00:16:53] Speaker B: Oh, okay, then what about the blood pudding where they. Where they. They boil the blood and everything that rises to the top, they skim it off and they make that into sausage. [00:17:02] Speaker C: Disgusting. [00:17:02] Speaker B: Black pudding that's also black pudding. What about the white pudding? How do they make that? Is that the white blood cells? You've had that surely, right? [00:17:10] Speaker A: I've seen it. The first time I saw that was recently. That was not a thing. Yeah. [00:17:17] Speaker B: Oh, really? [00:17:18] Speaker A: That was never a thing. [00:17:19] Speaker B: I'm trying to remember when I. Yeah, okay. The first time I had blood pudding, I was. I was 11 years old in Ireland, and I can't remember if they had the white or just the black. [00:17:29] Speaker A: It was new. But anyway, it's all disgusting. [00:17:32] Speaker B: Oh, it's so good. If it's done right, you got to try a full Irish. Well, you're a vegetarian. You wouldn't be able to eat half the things. [00:17:39] Speaker A: You must have had a foot. You must have had a full English breakfast at some point when you were a carnivore. [00:17:45] Speaker C: I. No, I didn't. [00:17:46] Speaker A: Bacon, eggs, sausage, beans, mushrooms. [00:17:50] Speaker C: Bacon, eggs. What's bacon? What's bangers? Sausage. [00:17:53] Speaker B: Sausage. [00:17:54] Speaker A: Sausage. [00:17:54] Speaker C: Just regular sausage, like Jimmy Dean. [00:17:56] Speaker B: Real crispy. Real crispy. Shell casing. Real crispy casing. [00:18:01] Speaker C: Hey, I had that. I had that. Weber. Mustard, Vabor. [00:18:05] Speaker B: Oh, how Weber. Webers. [00:18:08] Speaker C: It's could be pronounced Vaber. I think we went over this. No, Max Weber. [00:18:12] Speaker B: Oh, maybe we did. I don't know who that is still. [00:18:15] Speaker C: It's probably Weber. I was having night thoughts last night thinking about that. Weber or Vabor. [00:18:21] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:18:23] Speaker C: Tying in today's comedian, Camille Nanjiani. Old friend. We'll get to him in a little bit. I had that mustard. I expected a hefty clearing of the nasal, but no, it was rather mild. [00:18:37] Speaker B: Are they doing the same thing they did with the salons and everything else now, where it's just like. It's made for the masses? And so they took all the. The kick out of it. [00:18:45] Speaker C: There's not a lot of kick in it. [00:18:46] Speaker B: God damn it. There's no. You can't have any fun anymore. [00:18:49] Speaker C: It was good. It was very good. [00:18:50] Speaker B: There was no kick to it. See, I didn't. Yeah. I haven't had it in forever. It used to. You'd walk out like the sphinx. Your nose would be left on the ground behind you. [00:18:58] Speaker C: Yeah, that's why you scared me with the horse. [00:19:00] Speaker B: Yeah, that's how it was. They probably watered it down like they do it with everything else. [00:19:04] Speaker A: Do you know French soldiers shot off the Sphinx? [00:19:07] Speaker B: No. Really? [00:19:09] Speaker C: They did French Battle of Algiers? [00:19:12] Speaker A: No, no, no. They occupied Egypt. And for target practice, they would shoot at the Sphinx's nose. [00:19:18] Speaker C: Son of a bitch. [00:19:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:20] Speaker C: French basketball. [00:19:21] Speaker B: Did it all fall off at once or was it just little at a time? [00:19:24] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:19:26] Speaker C: You're full of stuff. [00:19:27] Speaker B: Where'd you read that? [00:19:29] Speaker A: No, he was in something. [00:19:31] Speaker B: It goes to a lot of trivia nights. [00:19:32] Speaker A: Wasn't there an emo, Philip? There was an Emo Phillips joke where he goes, this woman was beautiful. She was like the Sphinx. The French soldiers had shot her nose off. [00:19:45] Speaker C: Maybe that's where you learned it. [00:19:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:19:47] Speaker A: No, I knew it before then. [00:19:48] Speaker C: Want a Mento? [00:19:50] Speaker A: Otherwise I would have been confused by the reference, wouldn't you? [00:19:53] Speaker C: I didn't have it. Couldn't have it. [00:19:55] Speaker A: It's all sugar, innit? [00:19:56] Speaker C: Yeah. Well, they're not gonna want these, then. So. I missed you boys last week. Let's be honest with the listeners. [00:20:05] Speaker B: Oh, no. Oh, good. [00:20:07] Speaker C: We didn't do a show last week. We pulled one over on you. [00:20:11] Speaker B: It's Deception. [00:20:13] Speaker C: We recorded a double program and made it seem like it was last week, but it wasn't. [00:20:19] Speaker A: Except it's this week. [00:20:20] Speaker C: This week. [00:20:21] Speaker B: Mark never even had a seat. [00:20:24] Speaker A: Is now going. [00:20:25] Speaker C: It's playing right now. [00:20:26] Speaker A: It goes live at 3 o' clock when the England football game starts. [00:20:30] Speaker B: Where are they playing? [00:20:32] Speaker A: Oh, Croatia. [00:20:33] Speaker C: Wayne Rooney on this team? [00:20:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:36] Speaker C: No, East Walt. How about Roy Kent? Are you playing? [00:20:41] Speaker A: He's. He's making another bad comedy album at this point. Harry Kane. [00:20:47] Speaker C: Harry Kane. He's good. The US looks pretty good. There's a guy in the U. S. What's his name? [00:20:53] Speaker A: Oh, the English guy. [00:20:54] Speaker B: I saw his. [00:20:55] Speaker C: Oh, he's English? [00:20:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:57] Speaker C: What? [00:20:58] Speaker A: The guy who scored two goals for America was born in. He was an anchor baby in New York. [00:21:06] Speaker C: What's that mean? [00:21:07] Speaker B: They put the anchor down. Had a baby? Yeah, had a baby. It's a boy. [00:21:11] Speaker A: His parents are Nigerian. They came to New York, but he's a white for a visit. [00:21:17] Speaker C: This kid's a white? [00:21:18] Speaker A: No, the guy that scored the goals is black. [00:21:22] Speaker C: I'm thinking of somebody else. [00:21:23] Speaker A: Anyway, so they came in, they have the kid now she's. They came in and she's uber pregnant. Then they go to fly home and the flight crew said, you're not leaving. Not in. Not with that beach ball in your stomach. So she has the kid, two months later, they go back to England. Lives his whole goddamn life in England. But when it becomes. I think he signed for Arsenal at the age of seven or something. [00:21:48] Speaker C: Wow. [00:21:48] Speaker A: You know, into the youth, the youth thing. And when he became of age, he played for England under 16, under 18, under 21. But then FIFA makes you decide when you get to, you know, if you get a senior call up, it's like, this is it. You play for these guys. That's what you are now. [00:22:08] Speaker C: As opposed to what? As opposed to playing for whom? [00:22:11] Speaker A: Well, once you play senior international football, you cannot go, well, my grandparent was this. So I want to play for these. Jefferson. [00:22:19] Speaker C: For another country. [00:22:20] Speaker A: Yeah. So he had. He had Nigeria, England and America all saying, come over here, play for us. [00:22:29] Speaker C: And obviously he chose America. Why? They suck. [00:22:33] Speaker A: No, it's probably because it's gonna be easier to get into the American team. [00:22:39] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, okay. You know, marketing opportunities over here too, probably. Yeah, maybe not. American soccer, nobody gives a. [00:22:49] Speaker A: It's getting there though, isn't it? He didn't Messi had that saying that Mel. Million millions. Maybe it's all hype, you know, I'll probably cut this section out. [00:22:59] Speaker C: Why? [00:23:00] Speaker A: Went on too long. [00:23:01] Speaker B: Have you been cutting things out lately? [00:23:03] Speaker C: He doesn't cut anything out. [00:23:04] Speaker B: That's what I thought. [00:23:05] Speaker C: In fact, I was getting panic calls last week that the show wasn't even up. Were you late to release it or is it on some kind of. [00:23:11] Speaker A: We've been through this. [00:23:12] Speaker B: It's on auto release. [00:23:13] Speaker A: It's on auto release schedule. 3 o' clock every Wednesday. [00:23:17] Speaker C: 3 o' clock British time. Can we move that up to. Yeah, American time. Noon, if you want. [00:23:25] Speaker A: I mean, again, I just never thought. [00:23:26] Speaker C: Who released anything at 3:00 clock 8:00am or midnight. Yeah, midnight on Tuesday. Whatever you think about that. [00:23:36] Speaker B: Put that in your pipe and smoke. [00:23:37] Speaker C: Yeah, put that in there and smoke it. [00:23:39] Speaker A: Well, what time is it going to be? He's giving me three times as usual. [00:23:43] Speaker C: Not three people's days. [00:23:45] Speaker B: No time at all. [00:23:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:47] Speaker C: Jesus Christ, you need three. [00:23:49] Speaker A: You are the hardest work. [00:23:51] Speaker C: Am I? [00:23:52] Speaker B: This is. I remember the text the other day when I said. [00:23:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:56] Speaker B: Short, succinct, preferred. Answers preferred. May I suggest yes or no? [00:24:01] Speaker C: Well. Well, we never got to it. I. I was off last week. I wasn't off by any means. I was on. Yeah. [00:24:06] Speaker B: How was your Wiffle ball? [00:24:07] Speaker C: All went well despite some very weather. We have very dicey weather, but all went well otherwise. The lads had a great time and [00:24:19] Speaker B: anyway, can we get you a shirt that says Whiffler's mother? [00:24:21] Speaker C: Oh, that's a good idea. That's a good name for Wiflo team. So every week we make new teams. Eight new teams a week. And I've brought you guys a couple things from last week because I missed you. And as you know, I give out old timey candy to the kids every day along with a pack of brand new baseball cards. [00:24:40] Speaker A: Just want to say condoms. But anyway, carry on. [00:24:44] Speaker C: It's not a bad idea. They have candy condoms I could hand out. Chew them up. They make edible condoms. I know they make edible, like pantyhose. Pantyhose. [00:24:54] Speaker B: You buy them at the gas station. [00:24:56] Speaker C: Edible. They should make an edible dental dam. [00:25:00] Speaker B: What? You don't see the. Oh, isn't there a joke about that? [00:25:03] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:25:04] Speaker B: Did we watch it? [00:25:06] Speaker C: Anyway, I brought you. Speaking of smoking. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. [00:25:09] Speaker B: I was just gonna ask, do they still make the candy cigarettes? They do. Everything's gone the way of Weber's mustard. [00:25:16] Speaker A: They were banned. They banned these in England because they're like. Isn't this kind of encouraging kids to eat candy? [00:25:22] Speaker C: Kind of. Yeah, sure. It's. Yeah, right on the nose. Encouraging kids. They're more. [00:25:27] Speaker B: They look like little joints. [00:25:28] Speaker C: I know. They look like little pinners. [00:25:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:31] Speaker C: Little individual joints. [00:25:32] Speaker A: I guess. This is America. They would still make them in America. [00:25:36] Speaker C: Well, they made those and then you remember they. These are just the hard candy ones. [00:25:42] Speaker B: Right. [00:25:42] Speaker C: But they used to make the gum one that had a wrapper on it. It was gum inside, had a paper wrapper. And then it was like a bunch of powder sugar simulate. And then you could, you could puff it out and it would give you one good puff of smoke that would come Out. [00:25:58] Speaker A: I wonder why kids started smoking at age 13. [00:26:01] Speaker C: Yeah, right. [00:26:01] Speaker B: My friend Jay Marble and I used to try to smoke pixie sticks. [00:26:05] Speaker C: Like, how. [00:26:07] Speaker B: And it didn't work. [00:26:08] Speaker C: No, no, they don't. They're not flammable, but they're snortable. He could snort a pixie. [00:26:12] Speaker B: Yeah, we weren't to that level yet. [00:26:14] Speaker C: Blast a line of sugar. Yeah, you should see the kids. So I give them. I give them the cigarettes right before they get picked up. So they're all standing on the curb. Wait. And they've all got, like, candy cigarettes. And the parents are picking them up, like, shaking their heads, like, what the is this guy thinking? [00:26:31] Speaker A: I think they even painted the ends red. [00:26:33] Speaker C: They used to. Yeah. [00:26:34] Speaker A: To simulate a glowing. [00:26:36] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. They were. They were painted. Yeah, yeah, I remember that. Yeah. [00:26:39] Speaker C: They don't do that anymore. In fact, they've taken. They've. They've. If you look at the box, the packaging, they've subtly, like, it looks like a cigarette box, but they've changed. [00:26:48] Speaker B: Yeah. It doesn't say, like, yeah, candy cigarettes just says, victory candy. [00:26:52] Speaker C: Yeah, victory candy. Or sometimes they'll come. Candy sticks. [00:26:55] Speaker A: Well, you can't eat these. [00:26:57] Speaker C: Say, why? Why not? [00:26:58] Speaker B: Because there's beef. [00:26:59] Speaker A: Beef. [00:27:00] Speaker C: Beef gelatin in there. A lot of candy has that. That gelatin. So. Yeah, so there's a little taste of the candy we gave out. I got more. More candy to come in in the next couple weeks. And then. So I also brought you guys some shirts. We had eight teams. They're all this. This summer's theme is Chicago. I mean, we've been doing this 24 years, and finally we're doing a theme about the city. But my love of the city and all things Chicago. [00:27:29] Speaker A: What have other themes been? [00:27:31] Speaker C: We've done superheroes. We've done famous people named Bill. We've done fast food movies. Star Wars. [00:27:43] Speaker A: Next year, can I suggest you do all Coen Brothers movies? [00:27:49] Speaker C: Yeah, I don't know if that. I think that might be lost on the children. [00:27:52] Speaker A: Who cares? They got their lives ahead of us. We've only got so long left for you to get kicks while we. [00:28:00] Speaker C: Yeah, well, so this week was Chicago. And the name. The team names were the violation. Named after parking tickets. So it was an orange. It was an orange shirt with a big parking ticket on the back. The rats, right? [00:28:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:17] Speaker C: Took that sign from the alley that says warning. [00:28:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:22] Speaker C: What else? The green river. For the green. [00:28:25] Speaker B: Sure. [00:28:26] Speaker C: The popes. The popes. O' Leary, cow. O' Leary's cow. And, like, cubs. We use the cubs. Logo. Instead of the cub, we had the cow there and then we did the Blues Brothers. [00:28:41] Speaker A: There's your graphic design. [00:28:43] Speaker C: My mate from. Yeah, shout out to Te Lindo. I don't know if he knows about this program, but my old buddy from college, he's an airbrush artist, used to airbrush at the St. Louis Mall and now he's a graphic Designer and in St. Louis. He does been doing these for 24 years, so he always does them for me. [00:29:00] Speaker B: Great. [00:29:00] Speaker C: So Ode to Chicago. There'll be more teams later in the summer, but the ones you're getting, size large Bill, if you're listening, you get our logo on the front and tribute to Michael Jordan. We named them after the different. The leagues after the different building. So this is. This is the Hancock center league. And this is the. Ernest. You got the. The building. And then Michael Jordan sticking his tongue out. [00:29:26] Speaker B: They renamed that building, didn't they? [00:29:30] Speaker C: The Hancock. Yeah, they renamed the Hancock. [00:29:32] Speaker B: Yeah, they needed the address now. Yeah, because I think, like, wasn't it like John Hancock bank or something that was backing it? They pulled out and they're like, okay, we have to rename the building. I mean, it's just like the Sears Tower. Everybody still calls it the John Hancock. [00:29:44] Speaker C: That's from this league. The Sears Tower. Well, no, this is the Hancock Center. This is also the Hancock Center. The Ditka. And you got Ditka with the building on it. [00:29:53] Speaker A: Did I tell you I trashed the other T shirt? [00:29:55] Speaker C: The Tree of Shame. [00:29:57] Speaker A: Yeah, it finally. It entered the rotation and did not. [00:30:01] Speaker C: You wore it out. [00:30:02] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, we did wear it out. It got just absolutely plastered in some shit. I can't remember what it was. [00:30:10] Speaker B: This is a cool shirt. And you also made the correct decision. A lot of people, when they get their shirts made, they choose the cheap fabric that then nobody will ever wear. And this is. [00:30:20] Speaker C: No, that's good. [00:30:20] Speaker B: You can tell. Yeah, this is something I'll wear. [00:30:22] Speaker C: That's a good quality. [00:30:23] Speaker B: Yeah, this is nice. [00:30:24] Speaker C: Be prepared to be stopped when you're wearing those. You know, this is a. Yeah. A popular thing. And people can be. How do you know this? What is. Where did you get that shirt? [00:30:32] Speaker B: I'm looking. I'm looking forward to the improv challenge. I'll make up plenty. [00:30:35] Speaker A: Look at a three color print on this. [00:30:38] Speaker C: Two colors and. Oh, three. Yeah, three. You know, I pay big bucks for these shirts. [00:30:42] Speaker A: Are they. [00:30:44] Speaker C: And I do eight different screens. Right. For eight different teams every week. I'm paying big bucks. [00:30:49] Speaker A: Jesus Christ. [00:30:50] Speaker C: But that's, you know, that's the mark's pissed. Yeah. I also brought you. And I'll autograph these later. My headshots. I'm gonna autograph. [00:31:01] Speaker B: Yeah. You haven't changed a bit. [00:31:05] Speaker C: Yeah. Do I look the same? [00:31:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:07] Speaker C: I was at a wedding this weekend. People couldn't. And I hadn't seen these people for 20 years. God damn. You haven't aged. [00:31:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:12] Speaker C: Made me feel good. [00:31:15] Speaker B: I've got gifts. [00:31:16] Speaker C: You do gifts? [00:31:18] Speaker B: Yes. [00:31:18] Speaker C: Where you been? What have you been doing? [00:31:19] Speaker A: I haven't got any. [00:31:21] Speaker C: Well, you're always very generous. [00:31:22] Speaker B: I've got one for Bill. This is the Complete series on dvd. [00:31:28] Speaker C: I love it. What? Why you want that? [00:31:30] Speaker A: My gift. Wait. [00:31:31] Speaker B: Nope. [00:31:32] Speaker C: You re gifted it. You're re gifting. [00:31:34] Speaker B: This is my gift to Bill. [00:31:36] Speaker C: I'm a big. I'm a big gifter of DVDs, so. I love this. [00:31:39] Speaker B: Yep. Yep. [00:31:40] Speaker C: Thank you. Toss it. [00:31:41] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. You want to talk. All right. Here we go. [00:31:43] Speaker A: If you don't hit the mics. [00:31:45] Speaker C: Hey. [00:31:46] Speaker B: All right. That's pretty good. [00:31:47] Speaker C: Yeah. The Complete. [00:31:48] Speaker B: See? Whoa. [00:31:49] Speaker C: This is the whole series. [00:31:50] Speaker B: The whole series from beginning. [00:31:52] Speaker A: Where did you get that? [00:31:54] Speaker B: I bought it. [00:31:56] Speaker C: Wowza. This is balls. [00:32:00] Speaker B: Bought it at Walmart. [00:32:02] Speaker C: You did? Well, where's. Why isn't it any packaging? [00:32:04] Speaker A: What did it get? [00:32:06] Speaker B: I wanted to make sure it was all there. [00:32:07] Speaker C: Okay. You want to make sure it worked? [00:32:09] Speaker B: Yep. [00:32:09] Speaker A: I hope you got it. [00:32:10] Speaker C: Seven seasons of beep. Thank you. [00:32:12] Speaker A: I hope you got it as cheap as I got it as when I got. [00:32:15] Speaker B: How much did you spend on it? [00:32:16] Speaker A: Virtually nothing. I got it off of ebay for a song. [00:32:19] Speaker B: We must have had the same coupon. [00:32:21] Speaker A: Similar. Yeah. To that one. Yeah. [00:32:23] Speaker B: And for Mark, I've got a choice between two albums here. Okay. [00:32:28] Speaker C: Did you have a record player? [00:32:30] Speaker A: Several. [00:32:31] Speaker B: One. One is the who Live at Leeds. [00:32:35] Speaker C: Whoa. [00:32:35] Speaker B: Yeah. One of the greatest music. Yep. Or Johnny Paycheck. Mr. Lovemaker. [00:32:44] Speaker C: Who sucks. [00:32:45] Speaker B: That sucks. [00:32:46] Speaker C: That's the thrift take live at least. [00:32:48] Speaker B: Mark, which do you prefer? [00:32:49] Speaker A: Johnny Paycheck. Do you remember the episode of Dukes of Hazzard he was on? [00:32:54] Speaker B: Look at this picture in the back of him. [00:32:56] Speaker A: God, it was embarrassing. His acting was abysmal. So I assume it's got take this job on there, right? Or is it. Is it not the Greatest Hits? [00:33:05] Speaker B: I don't take this job. Does not. Yeah. No, it does not have his most popular song. This is not the Greatest Hits. This is his un. Greatest Hits. [00:33:14] Speaker A: It's the follow up. [00:33:15] Speaker B: It's his greatest not Hits. [00:33:18] Speaker A: I love it. Who then? [00:33:20] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't Blame you. [00:33:22] Speaker C: That's a nice one. [00:33:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:24] Speaker C: Live at Leads. [00:33:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:26] Speaker C: So what do we owe the pleasure of these gifts? [00:33:28] Speaker B: I was just feeling generous. [00:33:30] Speaker C: Generous? [00:33:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:31] Speaker C: We could put paycheck up in here, though. [00:33:33] Speaker A: Ellen DeGeneres, 14 minute version of my generation. [00:33:37] Speaker B: Yeah, it's good. [00:33:39] Speaker C: Nice. When are they doing their final tour again? [00:33:46] Speaker B: I. I assume they already had. [00:33:48] Speaker C: They do a final tour every two years. [00:33:50] Speaker B: One of those. I didn't even know they were still touring. [00:33:52] Speaker A: So. Townsend. [00:33:53] Speaker B: Who's still alive? [00:33:54] Speaker A: Townsend Indulgence. [00:33:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:57] Speaker C: That's all you need. [00:33:59] Speaker A: Well, Keith. [00:34:01] Speaker B: Gotta have a rhythm. [00:34:02] Speaker A: Moon must be hanging in there, right? Lol. [00:34:05] Speaker B: Is he alive? Keith Moon. Right. Oh, did he hang himself? [00:34:08] Speaker A: No. [00:34:09] Speaker B: That sounds like the joke he made. [00:34:11] Speaker A: He. You got to read some of the stories Oliver Reid has about Keith Moon. Jesus Christ. [00:34:17] Speaker C: Oliver Reed, the actor? [00:34:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:19] Speaker C: How's. There were mates. [00:34:20] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, because they were both Hellraisers, as they call them in those days. [00:34:24] Speaker C: Yeah. I loved Oliver Reed and David Cronenberg's the Brood. You ever see that? It's a great movie. [00:34:30] Speaker A: Did I ever send you that copy of that interview with him? The best. [00:34:34] Speaker C: Oliver Reed. [00:34:34] Speaker A: The best interview I ever, ever read. [00:34:37] Speaker C: No. Send it my way. [00:34:39] Speaker A: Oliver Reed. Jesus Christ. That guy was. [00:34:41] Speaker C: Seems like a weirdo. [00:34:43] Speaker A: No, he was just. He was off his hits most of the time. There was one time he was. Have I told. Stop me if you've heard this one before. There used to be this late night TV show and they get a bunch of intellectuals, closed studio, just four couches, you know, in a square. And they would sit smoking cigarettes and just wank on about stuff. One re for one week. For some bizarre reason, they invited Oliver Reed, who turns up drunk. Like, starts off drunk and he's just pounding on. We got home from the student union that night and my mate's girlfriend said, oh my God, Oliver Reed was on After Dark. I recorded it. You gotta watch it. And he's just. [00:35:30] Speaker B: Oh, was it live? [00:35:33] Speaker A: I don't. I assume it might have. I don't know. But anyway, we saw a recording and like, he's clearly drunk off his ass. [00:35:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:40] Speaker A: Just in. They're trying to, you know, all these intellectuals trying to have a proper combo, and he's just interrupting with just nonsense random. Like, what the is he even thinking? [00:35:52] Speaker B: Who is this guy? What did he do? Was he after. What was he in? [00:35:55] Speaker A: So his Bill Sykes in. Oliver was his big thing. But he's in a lot of art house stuff. [00:36:01] Speaker B: Okay. [00:36:02] Speaker A: No, I. [00:36:02] Speaker B: Well, was he popular over here? Over in England? [00:36:04] Speaker C: No, not really. [00:36:05] Speaker B: Here. [00:36:05] Speaker A: So you saw Tommy? Yeah, he's Tommy's dad. Oh, well, not his dad. His dad's killed, but yeah, right. [00:36:11] Speaker B: He's before he's killed. [00:36:13] Speaker A: He's the guy who shacks up with Ann Margaret. [00:36:16] Speaker B: Oh, so he's not his dad that got killed, he's the guy that comes in after. [00:36:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:20] Speaker B: Okay. [00:36:20] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know for much else, but, my God, this. He was just rambling like these. This. It wasn't like, drunken. [00:36:29] Speaker B: I want to see this. Have you seen this since? Is it on YouTube? [00:36:31] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:36:32] Speaker B: Is it available? Can we put a link in the podcast description? [00:36:36] Speaker A: Yeah, sure. So our listeners can go, it is. And then what? [00:36:39] Speaker B: Does he ramble? I'm sorry, I keep interrupting you. I'm being Oliver Reed. What does he keep rambling on about? [00:36:46] Speaker A: Just this unconscious train of thought that is totally. And they're just looking at him like, what are you even talking about? Then he like, sounds great. Oh, my God. You gotta see. [00:36:58] Speaker B: I want to see this. [00:36:59] Speaker A: I'll send you the link. [00:37:00] Speaker B: I want to see something this bad since Ms. Pat. [00:37:03] Speaker C: Ms. Pat. [00:37:05] Speaker A: And then there was a famous late night show called the Word, which was just total, like, trash. And they had him on him and Alex Higgins. [00:37:14] Speaker B: I said a back to back. He just walked across a different studio. [00:37:18] Speaker A: There was this Irish snooker player called Alex Higgins, and him and Ollie Reed were just hellraisers. And they made this really shitty version of the song Wild Thing. So they had him on to promote it. [00:37:31] Speaker C: Yes. [00:37:31] Speaker A: Alex Higgins didn't even turn up at all. Oliver Reed turns up. They put him in the green room with a massive spread of booze and then just film him getting wasted. [00:37:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:43] Speaker A: Then they bring him on to interview. [00:37:46] Speaker C: Sounds like a drinking problem. [00:37:49] Speaker B: I mean, did nobody know that he was gonna drink or was it on purpose? [00:37:53] Speaker A: Oh, they did it. [00:37:53] Speaker B: It was like reality tv where they get him drunk and overtired so that the drama starts. [00:37:58] Speaker A: The word. [00:37:58] Speaker C: Firing on purpose. [00:37:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, good. That's. That's good. Producing. [00:38:02] Speaker A: Yeah. But anyway. God, Ollie, this interview. All right, I'll put the links to the clip. [00:38:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:09] Speaker A: And I'll put. Hopefully there's a link to the. [00:38:13] Speaker B: The song to. [00:38:15] Speaker A: Not the song, the. The interview. The interview. This magazine. [00:38:19] Speaker C: I also put a link to the film the Brood. [00:38:21] Speaker A: The Brood. All right. [00:38:24] Speaker B: Why was that about? Or is that. Was he in this? Was. [00:38:27] Speaker C: He was in it. [00:38:28] Speaker B: Oh, I see. [00:38:28] Speaker A: He was in another art house thing called the Devils, where him and Alan Bates wrestled in the nude. And he. In this interview, he said, I told the Director. It's too cold. My todge is barely big enough as it is. Can I go in the other room [00:38:43] Speaker C: and fluff it up? [00:38:43] Speaker A: And fluff it up. [00:38:47] Speaker C: Nice, nice. Yeah, a lot of us need to fluff it up, you know. No shame in that. [00:38:57] Speaker B: I just watched Single White Female for the first time. [00:39:00] Speaker C: Oh, okay. [00:39:01] Speaker A: That's a good one. [00:39:02] Speaker B: Yeah, it was. It was really good. And Brian from Wings. Remember the show Wings? [00:39:06] Speaker C: Brian. That would have the two brothers. Stephen Weber. [00:39:09] Speaker B: I don't know his name. [00:39:10] Speaker A: Hang on. Just make sure I got the right one. Bridget Fonda. [00:39:12] Speaker B: Yeah. Jason Lee. [00:39:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:39:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:16] Speaker A: Reminds me of Pacific Heights. [00:39:19] Speaker C: Sure. There's a lot of movies. Hand that Rocks a Cradle, Pacific Heights, a lot of these. It's a run on these kind of movies. If you look back in history, you know, different types of movies, what does [00:39:28] Speaker A: that say about me? That I liked all of them a lot. [00:39:32] Speaker B: Are these similar to A Single White Female, Fatal Attraction? [00:39:35] Speaker A: Pacific Heights is like. Michael Keaton plays this lunatic that moves into this house that they've renovated. They've got the top floor, he's got the bottom floor, and he's out of his fucking mind. And he basically destroys the place. [00:39:50] Speaker B: Oh, I'm gonna watch this. I like Michael Keaton a lot. Have you seen I'm sorry. [00:39:53] Speaker A: And then Hand that Rocks the Cradle is the nanny that comes back for revenge. [00:39:57] Speaker B: Next on my list, rewatchables are doing these ones. [00:40:00] Speaker C: But also in there is Unlawful Entry, which is just like Pacific Heights. It's the same exact movie. Ray Liotta plays the Michael Keaton character. [00:40:09] Speaker A: Ray Liotta was great as a menacing. Like if he walked in a room. I can't believe he's dead. He was like, 37 years old. [00:40:18] Speaker C: He was old. [00:40:19] Speaker B: He was. Yeah. [00:40:20] Speaker C: But he was too young to die for sure. [00:40:21] Speaker A: But he's. He's in a. You definitely. You look at Rayleigh R. And you go, I wouldn't fuck with this guy. [00:40:26] Speaker B: No. [00:40:27] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. He's got that pockmark skin, which is scary, you know? Yeah. [00:40:33] Speaker A: So Betty's good as a nightmare neighbor, then? [00:40:36] Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, he's good. [00:40:37] Speaker B: Have you seen the Founder with Michael Keaton? [00:40:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:40] Speaker B: That's a good one, too. I like that movie. [00:40:43] Speaker C: Yes. [00:40:44] Speaker B: Rob McDonald's. It's about McDonald's in their upstart. Yeah. What's his name is in it, isn't it? Zach Galfenacket? No, the guy. That's Ron Swanson. He's in it, isn't he? [00:40:54] Speaker C: Yes. [00:40:54] Speaker B: What's his name? [00:40:55] Speaker C: He's one of the original McDonald's brothers. I am good friends. I think we have talked about this. With the original fry cook from McDonald's. Not him. His daughter is a good friend of mine. [00:41:08] Speaker B: Really? [00:41:10] Speaker C: Fred Turner was the CEO of McDonald's at one. I mean, he went from fry cook to CEO. [00:41:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:16] Speaker C: After Ray Kroc. Well, yeah. [00:41:19] Speaker A: You imagine it from California? [00:41:21] Speaker C: No. [00:41:22] Speaker A: Well, that's where he got the idea. [00:41:24] Speaker C: McDonald's is from here? [00:41:25] Speaker A: No, no, it is now, but I think it was a California chain that he bought. [00:41:30] Speaker B: I thought he got the idea at night. I thought it was a night thought. [00:41:34] Speaker A: No, Ray Kroc got the idea when he saw these guys in California doing it. I thought, could be wrong, I don't know. [00:41:43] Speaker C: You just saw the movie? [00:41:44] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, pretty much that. Yeah. He got the idea from somebody else. He just did it way better. He had like the Streamline thing down and then he figured out over in the real estate business and took off from there. [00:41:56] Speaker C: A lot of film talk today. [00:41:58] Speaker B: Yeah, I like it. [00:41:59] Speaker C: It's summer. [00:42:00] Speaker B: I watched Speed yesterday, too. [00:42:01] Speaker C: That's a great one. [00:42:02] Speaker B: You know what I did? I don't. I want to get off the film talk. I'm not gonna keep going on, but I. I was about 15 minutes into speed and I had to pause it to see am I watching speed 3 or something. I totally forgot the whole beginning of the movie with the elev. The people are trapped in the elevator. The bombs on the elevator. They can't. [00:42:19] Speaker C: No, it's on a bus. [00:42:21] Speaker B: Exactly. Right. That's what I'm looking for. I'm like, though it's on a bus, but I know when, like, they came out with Speed 2, it was like, this is speed again. But now we're on boats, you know, so I'm starting a boat. I'm starting no follow. So I'm starting to think, like, is like now the bombs on an elevator. Am I watching speed three or something? No, there's a whole, like, first 20 minutes where there's a bomb on an elevator and it gets foiled. [00:42:42] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:42:43] Speaker B: Nobody remembers that it gets foiled. And then the guy gets pissed and he's like, you know, like a year later he goes and he puts the bomb on the bus instead. [00:42:51] Speaker A: Yeah. And there's the bit, I mean, Dennis Hopper. Yeah. And the end of speed. The end of speed. There's a long tail because you think it's all boss, boss, boss, and. [00:43:01] Speaker B: Yeah, right, right. [00:43:02] Speaker A: And then. [00:43:03] Speaker B: Then they're on a train. [00:43:05] Speaker A: Yeah. The next thing they're doing, it's like, fucking Hell, this movie was only on the bus for about 20 minutes. [00:43:12] Speaker B: And all you remember is the bus part, remember? Yeah, the bus part. Yeah. There's an elevator. [00:43:18] Speaker A: I once watched it on a plane. I once watched it on a plane. And the bit where the. The boss crashes into the plane and explodes. [00:43:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:25] Speaker A: I'm thinking ahead. I'm going, we're all on a plane. They're not going to show a plane explosion as part of this film. Right. And they totally. What they did is they, they. They totally removed the bit where they're like dragging the plane on the back of a tow truck. [00:43:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:43:44] Speaker A: And they just cut that to the. To the boss. [00:43:47] Speaker B: Exploded to the explosion. [00:43:49] Speaker A: Yeah. So you can't tell it's a plane blowing up. So the boss is just going along. You don't think, oh, it's going to hit that plane. [00:43:57] Speaker B: Right. [00:43:57] Speaker A: It just goes. [00:43:58] Speaker C: And then this is in the original theatrical version. [00:44:02] Speaker A: That's how they cut it for. For on an airplane. [00:44:05] Speaker C: Oh, so you didn't see it on the airplane. [00:44:07] Speaker A: So you didn't see it. So you didn't think, is this gonna happen when we land? Yeah. [00:44:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:15] Speaker C: Well, all right. [00:44:16] Speaker A: Wow, we have talked some shit today. [00:44:20] Speaker B: Well, let's get into. We're about 45 minutes. I think it's about perfect. [00:44:23] Speaker C: Let's get into night thoughts. Kumail Nanjiani, 2026. I believe this is hot up to 25. 25. [00:44:31] Speaker A: You've been dying for this episode, haven't you? Because you've got a whole. You got a whole. Like, it's to me. I'm about to run through one of those. Assault course. [00:44:42] Speaker C: Yeah. I was thinking maybe we didn't. [00:44:44] Speaker B: A tough mudder. [00:44:45] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm going through some tires, then I'm crawling under it. [00:44:48] Speaker C: Gauntlet. You got to run the gauntlet. [00:44:49] Speaker A: I'm gonna run the gaunt lit. [00:44:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:44:53] Speaker A: You're going through the Bill o' Donnell gaunt lit. [00:44:58] Speaker C: It's gonna be a minefield for you. To tiptoe through is basically. [00:45:01] Speaker A: Yeah. You've been dying for it. [00:45:02] Speaker C: Well, I, you know, I thought maybe we off air, we should have maybe gone over some ground rules for this. [00:45:08] Speaker A: No rules. Just right. [00:45:10] Speaker C: Just for this episode, you know, There. [00:45:13] Speaker B: Am I correct? You guys know him? [00:45:16] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:45:16] Speaker B: Okay. [00:45:17] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. He still has my Billy Joel double greatest hit cd. I have your Billy Joel I gave. [00:45:23] Speaker B: That's a. [00:45:23] Speaker C: That's a copy. [00:45:24] Speaker A: My original one. [00:45:25] Speaker C: Those are my wife's. I left it at Kumail's house. Never gave it back to me, despite my asking for it many times. [00:45:30] Speaker A: If you Want it if you want to. [00:45:32] Speaker B: You have. If you want to. [00:45:33] Speaker A: Even this playing field. I have a lawn chair that he left in my house. [00:45:39] Speaker C: Oh. It's his. [00:45:40] Speaker A: Quite demonstrative about having it back after the barbecue was done. [00:45:45] Speaker C: So you never gave back. [00:45:46] Speaker A: So I still have the lawn chair. If you want that album and then [00:45:50] Speaker B: you hold it hostile. [00:45:51] Speaker C: Square it up. Yeah. [00:45:52] Speaker B: And then let me ask you this. In regular life, would you have traded your Billy Joel double album for a lawn chair? [00:45:57] Speaker C: It depends. What kind? Is it one of those styles? [00:46:00] Speaker A: No, it's one of the shitty white ones. [00:46:01] Speaker B: Then why does he want it back so bad? [00:46:03] Speaker A: That was it. [00:46:04] Speaker C: Oh, it's like one of those fold up ones, like. [00:46:06] Speaker A: No, no, not fold up. Just the. The resin. You know, the plasticky ones. [00:46:11] Speaker C: Resin. [00:46:12] Speaker A: Resin. It's called resin. [00:46:14] Speaker C: I'll have a look at it, but I'll take it. You should have that fucking. [00:46:21] Speaker A: I never got anything. [00:46:22] Speaker C: You should have that out in the lobby, like, with, like a rope around him. Yeah. Male Nanjiani's lawn chair. That'll be fucking great sitting it. [00:46:30] Speaker B: Get a picture taken. [00:46:31] Speaker A: Well, I still got his phone number. Do you want me to take. I'll take a picture of you with the lawn chair and you could be like, holding a knife to one of its legs. [00:46:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:46:39] Speaker A: And we'll say, if you ever want this fucking lawn chair again, give back the Billy Joel. Give the Joel back. [00:46:47] Speaker C: My. The only reason why I never forgot that is my wife was pissed because I had taken it from her and why I brought it to Camille's. I don't know. He had a party over there that. Remember that dingy apartment he lived in? Who do you live with? Over there? Was him. It was over by. It was kind of over by. Like when C.J. lived with Cheney. [00:47:05] Speaker A: It wasn't Brady, was it? [00:47:06] Speaker C: Or was it? Yeah, maybe I brought over there for a party to play these tunes. Anyway, that's probably the last time I saw Kumail. Where do you want to start with this? [00:47:20] Speaker A: Now? Where do you want to start with this? You're the one with the. The mind. You've been laying minds. [00:47:26] Speaker C: No, no, no. [00:47:27] Speaker A: But yeah, I see you backing up right now. [00:47:30] Speaker B: Tossing minds into my 37 pages of notes with you. [00:47:34] Speaker C: You have quite a few notes, but. [00:47:35] Speaker B: But you came in with a whole notebook filled. [00:47:39] Speaker C: If you want to go get into your personal history with Kumail. I've basically given some of mine. But you can do that. We can start with that. [00:47:47] Speaker A: I don't need to do that. [00:47:48] Speaker C: No. Okay. Well, I will say this And I hope he's listening. I hope everybody's listening. I am the one. And I think I may have said this before, I am the one who gave Kumail Nanjiani his. His first stage time ever at the Red Line. He showed up at the Red lion, didn't know anybody was skulking around on the deck, like kind of pacing around, went up to him, was like, what's up? You here for the show? He's like, yeah, how does it work? Can I go up and whatever. I was like, yeah, you can go up. Good. He had to pay a dollar to go up. And back in those days, we make comedians pay $1 to perform. [00:48:30] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, well, that went down. Oh, I told you to do that. To raise money for a new amplifier. Oh, maybe take the amp to the lodge. [00:48:39] Speaker C: That was a real grassroots campaign. [00:48:41] Speaker B: Did he do his encore joke during. [00:48:43] Speaker C: That's what I was thinking. Like, I don't remember. [00:48:45] Speaker B: I don't remember. [00:48:46] Speaker A: Well, he used to do that all the time at Lodge early days. [00:48:49] Speaker B: That same joke, that joke. [00:48:50] Speaker C: Yeah, he did, yeah, yeah. I don't remember any of his jokes from that night, but I then I remember we wrote a bit about him in 2001. The. The seminal zine of the Chicago comedy. From January 20, 2001 to June 2001. Six episodes. Six episodes, six editions. And I couldn't find the article, though [00:49:17] Speaker A: I still have the Drew Bledsoe edition. [00:49:19] Speaker C: You do? Yeah. [00:49:20] Speaker A: I don't. [00:49:20] Speaker C: I didn't see in that one. I kind of went through them all quickly. But, man, going through all those zines, those things need to be either destroyed or locked away because the things that are written in those zines are enough to sink us all. [00:49:36] Speaker B: What's the difference? For real, what's the difference between a zine and a magazine? And don't make a mega joke. [00:49:40] Speaker C: No, A zine is a self published periodical. I don't know if there are other things that make it a zine, but it's basically handcrafted. [00:49:51] Speaker B: Okay. [00:49:53] Speaker C: And it's self published. I mean, you can have multiple collaborators, [00:49:57] Speaker A: but the music community is famous for them. And I think they big rose to popularity because in England all of the fans of football teams would do a zine about their team. [00:50:12] Speaker B: Right. [00:50:13] Speaker A: But the zine. [00:50:14] Speaker B: So they're sitting at home making these themselves. [00:50:15] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. And you just photocopying them and then hand them out at point, some outside the grounds. And they were, they were, they were never kiss ass. They were always hypercritical. [00:50:24] Speaker B: Yeah, we've talked about those Zines have come up a lot on this podcast and I've always wondered what the difference is. [00:50:29] Speaker C: Well, we gotta have on the foremost expert on zines in the Midwest, who is Mike Olson, former Chicago comedian who is now a librarian up in lacrosse, Wisconsin. And he is. His specialty is zines. And he goes all over the country, they trade zines. It's like you bring your zines and you trade them with other people and it's a whole thing. And I think as things are kind of shifting back to analog with LPs and cassettes and a lot of people looking for VHS again, zines are making a big comeback. They're very popular. [00:51:04] Speaker A: I finally looked up the cost of a VHS copy of they live. 150 goddamn dollars on ebay that I give away. [00:51:12] Speaker C: Really? Hey, I was over at the Thrift a couple weeks ago and I said, hey, there's all kinds of home videos over here. Did you go over there? Yeah, but I thought you buy them site on. Because there might be some kind of people's home videos. [00:51:26] Speaker A: Yeah, no, no, the ones kind of. No, no, no. The ones you pictured, they all had things like, you know, the Matrix 2 and on there. [00:51:37] Speaker C: No, they were like home videos, I [00:51:38] Speaker B: think like somebody's graduation could be. [00:51:41] Speaker C: He was looking for that. Are you looking for that? [00:51:43] Speaker A: Yeah, I am looking for that, but they definitively did not have that on there. [00:51:49] Speaker C: I think you're looking for these because you want to find amateur porn on there. Yeah, it's like discovering because it's hard [00:51:57] Speaker A: to find amateur porn. You literally have to turn your computer off and back on again and go to a thing. God, it's hard to find. [00:52:08] Speaker C: Yeah, but you're a creep, so it doesn't matter. All right, so I'm a creep. Yeah, well, you like, you know, you looking at home people's home videos. That's real Peeping Tom type shit. Have you ever. Have you ever done any Peeping Tom stuff? [00:52:24] Speaker A: Peeping Tom is from Coventry. [00:52:26] Speaker B: What's Coventry? [00:52:28] Speaker A: My hometown. [00:52:28] Speaker B: Oh, there you go. Do they have that on the sign when you drive in? [00:52:33] Speaker A: Yeah, they have. [00:52:34] Speaker B: Welcome to Coventry, home of the original Peeping Tom lady. [00:52:38] Speaker A: Peeping Tom peeped at Lady Godiva. Where's Lady Godiva from? [00:52:43] Speaker B: Coventry. [00:52:43] Speaker A: Coventry. There's a clock in the center of Coventry and every hour Lady Godiva comes around on Nude on a horse. Well, you obviously know him. I don't know, but she comes round on a horse and then Peeping Tom jumped. [00:53:02] Speaker B: Is that where it came from? [00:53:03] Speaker A: Is out of the window? Yeah. [00:53:05] Speaker B: Well, wait he was looking out the window at somebody on the street. But a peeping Tom looks in a window from somebody in the street. [00:53:11] Speaker A: Well, that's just. [00:53:12] Speaker B: I know. Isn't it funny how things changed since back then? The perspective. [00:53:17] Speaker A: Peeping Tom. So there was a king. There was Lord Leofric of Coventry. Taxing. Taxing the peasants. [00:53:26] Speaker C: Yes. [00:53:27] Speaker A: So his wife, Lady Godiva said, can you stop taxing the peasants, please? It's not good. And he said, I'll stop taxing the peasants if you ride through the center of Coventry. Absolutely. Billy bollocks on a horse. So the. Everyone in Coventry agreed. We won't look. She's doing this for our good. We won't look. But Peeping Tom [00:53:51] Speaker B: sounds like a. [00:53:52] Speaker A: Couldn't resist. [00:53:53] Speaker C: Like a Greek story. No, it's a true story. [00:53:56] Speaker B: And then was he punished? Did something happen? [00:53:59] Speaker A: Yeah, he was shunned by the shun. [00:54:01] Speaker B: Also then. [00:54:02] Speaker C: As a perv. [00:54:03] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:54:04] Speaker B: So they. What? They wouldn't sell him any fair. [00:54:06] Speaker A: I can't believe he didn't teach you this in history class. [00:54:09] Speaker C: It's not relevant to our. [00:54:10] Speaker B: It's not actual history. [00:54:12] Speaker A: Learning about. [00:54:14] Speaker B: There's more important things like. [00:54:16] Speaker C: Like Paul Revere. [00:54:17] Speaker B: Yeah, right. [00:54:18] Speaker A: No, Paul Revere was fully clothed. [00:54:21] Speaker B: What? [00:54:22] Speaker A: What a. Yeah. [00:54:23] Speaker C: He should have been. Billy Bollocks. [00:54:26] Speaker A: He should have ridden through the entire northeast absolutely stark naked while the. The denizens of Massachusetts looked the other way. [00:54:35] Speaker C: Y. [00:54:37] Speaker A: Just didn't. He just didn't have the balls for it. [00:54:40] Speaker B: He didn't have the Billy Bullocks. [00:54:41] Speaker C: He didn't have the bollocks for that. All right. [00:54:44] Speaker A: What? [00:54:44] Speaker C: All right, so we want to do any better. So, Camille, you know, first thing, I didn't realize he hadn't been doing stand up for 10 years. I guess I did. Or I don't really. [00:54:56] Speaker B: I didn't realize he was an actor when he was saying all that. Well, because he starts out with. Yeah, I mean, for the listener. [00:55:01] Speaker C: I'm not. Not an actor. [00:55:03] Speaker B: I mean, I'm not just an actor. I'm a comedian. [00:55:05] Speaker C: Stand up comedian. [00:55:06] Speaker B: I didn't know you're an actor. [00:55:07] Speaker A: He's on about five bloody World cup adverts. [00:55:10] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. He is. [00:55:12] Speaker A: Raking it in. [00:55:14] Speaker C: Yeah. With that other guy. Who's that other guy in the. In the ads form. [00:55:17] Speaker B: What? [00:55:17] Speaker C: I don't even know what the ad is for. It's for like cable or. What the is it for? You know, like he's flexing his muscles [00:55:25] Speaker A: and he's in one with Ryan Reynolds. But I'm talking about newer I thought. I thought I saw him in World cup adverts. [00:55:31] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, Made of. He's on a lot of adverts. So he. He started here, 2001, in Chicago. Where is he from? Iowa. [00:55:42] Speaker A: No, see, in Iowan, he went to Grinnell, which is some. [00:55:47] Speaker C: In Iowa. [00:55:48] Speaker A: Sort of left wing arts college. Right. [00:55:52] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:55:52] Speaker A: Then he came to Chicago. [00:55:54] Speaker C: Okay, but where does he hail from? Where is his. [00:55:56] Speaker A: Well, Pakistan. [00:55:57] Speaker C: I know, but. Oh, he went from Pakistan to Grinnell. He didn't. [00:56:02] Speaker A: Well, I think both his parents live in America, so. [00:56:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:56:08] Speaker A: I don't know. Yeah. [00:56:10] Speaker C: Then he came here and he did the Red lion, and [00:56:15] Speaker A: the next thing you know, he's doing Stuba. [00:56:18] Speaker C: Stuba. [00:56:19] Speaker B: What's Stuba? [00:56:21] Speaker A: As his movie he did with the wrestler guy. [00:56:25] Speaker C: Oh, the one with Dave Bautista. [00:56:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:56:28] Speaker C: Stuba. Yeah, that's the name. How do you spell it? [00:56:31] Speaker A: S, T, U, B, R. He plays Uber. He plays a taxi driver that gets. Well, an Uber driver that gets hooked into that. [00:56:40] Speaker C: Bombed horribly. [00:56:42] Speaker A: It bombed horribly. [00:56:44] Speaker C: That's not even worse than the movie he talked about. [00:56:46] Speaker B: Bombing. Yeah. What was that called? Like, Enclave Eternals. Eternals. [00:56:50] Speaker C: That was a marvel. [00:56:50] Speaker A: That was just a superhero. Generic one. [00:56:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:56:54] Speaker C: I didn't see it. [00:56:55] Speaker A: He wasn't the. Was he the star of it? [00:56:58] Speaker C: No, there were multiple. It was an ensemble. [00:57:00] Speaker A: So why was he so bummed about it then? [00:57:02] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:57:03] Speaker B: Because it bombed. [00:57:04] Speaker C: Because it bombed. And people. [00:57:07] Speaker B: I looked it up to look like it was the director's fault, but they're [00:57:10] Speaker A: like shitting them out every week. I mean, you're just part of a roulette wheel at that point. [00:57:15] Speaker C: Yeah. What do you care? Yeah, we'll get to that. That ending where he goes all into that and then he does Redline, does the scene, Lion's Den. Then he's got a prominent role at the Lincoln Lodge as a cast member. [00:57:34] Speaker A: Yep. [00:57:35] Speaker C: He's on the banner out front with Kenny Bernard, possibly. [00:57:39] Speaker A: I can't remember. [00:57:40] Speaker C: Yeah, I think he's on there. He's on there in tj. And then. When does he shove off to the coast? [00:57:49] Speaker A: You know what? I was thinking that yesterday, because my timeline's all messed up. I want to say it's longer than you think, because. No, he went to the east coast first. [00:58:05] Speaker C: He did. He went to New York. [00:58:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:58:06] Speaker B: Because he's that story of living in Brooklyn. [00:58:08] Speaker A: Yeah. He got. He got kind of. What's the word? Knighted, whatever you want to call it, by Eugene Merman, which opened up every goddamn door at that point. [00:58:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:58:19] Speaker A: So I want to Say he was definitely there. So we had our little bit. [00:58:28] Speaker C: 2008. [00:58:29] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe we had our little fallout. [00:58:32] Speaker C: Okay, talk about that. What was that? [00:58:34] Speaker A: We had a little fallout. And he was already in New York at that point. [00:58:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:58:41] Speaker C: And he was just doing the scene in New York. [00:58:43] Speaker A: Yeah. Like I say, he was sort of vouched by Eugene Mirman, which put him into Boston. Comedian Eugene Merman fast tracked into every alt scene, you know, in addition to [00:58:56] Speaker C: us and this scene. He left Eugene Merman in the dust as well. [00:59:00] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:59:02] Speaker C: He's left a lot of people in the dust. [00:59:04] Speaker A: And he was big buds with Holmes. Pete Holmes. Pete Holmes was big buds. [00:59:09] Speaker C: Didn't they have a show together? [00:59:11] Speaker A: I think. No, I think it was in New York. [00:59:14] Speaker C: Okay. [00:59:15] Speaker A: I think they had a show together [00:59:16] Speaker C: in the back of a comic book store or something in la. [00:59:19] Speaker A: No, LA was with. There was a backup comic book store in la. Was with that guy who did Mystery Science Theater, Jonah Ray. [00:59:29] Speaker C: I thought they did too, but. [00:59:32] Speaker A: Okay. [00:59:32] Speaker C: And so then he. Then he writes, maybe I'm jumping, you know, bullets in the timeline, but he. Then he writes this film. Right. The Big fix, the big sick. Which you've still never seen. [00:59:48] Speaker B: Oh, which I've never seen. Heard of that. [00:59:50] Speaker C: Yeah. Won an Academy Award. Did or really did it win? [00:59:53] Speaker A: I don't think it won. [00:59:54] Speaker C: It was nominated for Best screenplay. [00:59:56] Speaker B: What's it about? [00:59:58] Speaker C: It's about a. About Kumail's life, I think, and his wife getting cancer and him. I don't know. [01:00:06] Speaker A: I mean, she never got cancer, did she? [01:00:08] Speaker C: Yeah, I think that's what it's about. She was sick. The big sick one. [01:00:11] Speaker A: No. So she was sick. She had a bit major issue, and then they had to induce her into a coma. [01:00:18] Speaker C: Oh, it's not a cancer. [01:00:20] Speaker A: Because when that happened, he was meant to be at a meeting at my house that day. We were doing a. What'd you call it? Pilot. [01:00:31] Speaker C: Oh, that pilot with the thing with the picture out there? [01:00:33] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, we were doing that. And I said to Jared Logan, where's Kamal? He's meant to be at this. So he called him and then he sort of, you know, lost a bit of color in his face. And we said, what is it? And he goes, oh, they've had to put Emily into a coma. And he's at the hospital and he's the one having to make the decision on what to do. And he was the worst person to have to make that decision. [01:01:04] Speaker C: Wow. So all that was happening. When you're trying to shoot that pilot, does that make it into the film, that scene. Or like, I'm gonna doubt it, but not that. [01:01:12] Speaker A: But like, I haven't watched the film, so I don't know. I mean. [01:01:15] Speaker C: But there's a character based on you in the film. [01:01:17] Speaker A: Yes, David Alan Greer. [01:01:19] Speaker C: Okay, and what is he runs the comedy club or something? [01:01:22] Speaker A: He runs the comedy club where they meet, which should have been full on. See, here's where you got his. [01:01:28] Speaker C: Where the fallout. I'm not mining for this. [01:01:30] Speaker B: I'm really not. [01:01:31] Speaker A: No, the fallout was way before that, [01:01:35] Speaker C: before this. [01:01:36] Speaker A: I got contacted about the Big Sick by some woman on the production team saying, hey, we didn't making this movie. And they met at the Lincoln Lodge. We really want to recreate the Lincoln launch. [01:01:48] Speaker C: Right. [01:01:48] Speaker A: Then there's what you got. So I spent hours with photos and footage and yeah, I had to sign releases. I actually read the script before it was made because I had to sign off that I was okay with, you [01:02:05] Speaker C: know, I was being depicted or whatever. [01:02:06] Speaker A: Yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So all of that. Yeah, and like David Alan Greer is this complete cokehead dick that charges comedians to go on stage and stuff. [01:02:17] Speaker B: A dollar. [01:02:18] Speaker C: Maybe that was based on me. That could be based on me charging him a dollar to go up at [01:02:22] Speaker A: the Red Line, but that would. That didn't. I could give a shit about that. I was just really ultra bummed because at the time, okay, so this is the timeline of it. At the time, the Lincoln Lodge, the Lincoln Restaurant had just closed and we were in limbo and I was on the fence about whether to carry on or not. And I was just like, what's the goddamn point? Like, no one gives a about it, you know, and everything's just a struggle all the time. And then we were having to raise money. And this movie could have been a huge boost because we were. [01:03:01] Speaker C: We were tying. Yeah. [01:03:02] Speaker A: We were going to go out and say, hey, we need money and we're important. Why are we important? Well, look at this goddamn movie. And then the Lodge was obviously just completely out of it. And then when I spoke. Why just movie? I mean, I, I didn't get. I was. I was bummed. I wasn't upset. I wasn't upset because I know how. I know how movies get made. People get cut out, gets changed. You never hear about a movie where someone goes, that wasn't the story that, you know, it's like, where's Hollywood? They're just selling the movie. So. But I was bummed because I was like, yeah, that could have been a. Yeah, a good angle for Us to survive. But any that I think I asked, I guessed his wife. [01:03:50] Speaker C: Now, well, tell me a little bit about her. His wife. He references her a ton in this special. [01:03:54] Speaker B: Emily. [01:03:55] Speaker C: My lovely wife. My lovely wife. My lovely wife. She's a comedian. [01:04:01] Speaker A: No, would she. She's a. Like a burlesque. No, she's like a. What do you call them? Social influencer. Not an influencer. No. She works in, like, pariah. She works in, like, social librarian, causes, social worker. I don't know. But anyway, the point is, they met at the Lincoln Lodge. She was heckling him. [01:04:24] Speaker C: Really? [01:04:25] Speaker A: Yeah. And now here's an interesting story about Emily. I was going on great with Emily one time. We were at a meeting at my house, and we were all sat around and we were having burgers, and on the back of the barbecue sauce, there was. It was like, a homemade one. And the guy put his phone number on there. It's like, you know, Uncle Kurt's Homemade Barbecue sauce. So we sat around laughing with that. God, he's put his name number on it. And Emily goes, shall we call it? And she goes. And we go, yeah, yeah, let's call it. Thinking we were gonna have this hilarious call. And she calls, and he actually picks up. Uncle Kurt, where'd you get the sauce? Just a jewel. Yeah. And. And it kind of flummoxed her because, you know, you don't expect. You're expecting some, like, switchboard thing. And she goes, is that Uncle Kurt? Goes, yeah, it's me. And she goes, we just wanted to say how great your barbecue sauce was. And he went, oh, thank you for saying. And then she hung up. So what we thought was going to be this, you know, crazy prank call, whatever, was just turning to this nice exchange. It fizzled down, fizzled out with a compliment. [01:05:45] Speaker C: Have a good day. Kurt, let me say this, too. There's a lot of any is. All comedians know they. Every comedian begrudges the success of another comedian. [01:05:56] Speaker A: Yeah, right. [01:05:57] Speaker C: It's just. You're not happy for them. You might actually, like you are, but you're not. [01:06:00] Speaker B: Right. [01:06:00] Speaker C: When Camille shot to stardom. Right. Many comedians. Not me, because I'm not really involved at this time. Many comedians begrudged Kamal because they say his success was built on the backs of those that died in 9 11. [01:06:17] Speaker B: Why is that? [01:06:19] Speaker C: Well, because if you think back to other comedians in history, of course you have Yakov Smirnoff, who cashed in on the Cold War. They say Kumail cashed in on 911 because there was a huge demand for Middle Eastern. He's Asian, right? Pakistan. Are we going back to this again? [01:06:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:06:45] Speaker C: Huge demand for Middle Eastern, Indian, whatever, comedians at this time because of 9 11. Just like Yaakov Smirnoff was making. Hey, while Cold War is going on, Kumail Nanjiani made hay off of 911 by saying, you know, his whole act was built on being mistaken for. Bless you. [01:07:05] Speaker A: Bless you, Bless you. [01:07:06] Speaker B: Thank you. [01:07:07] Speaker C: I saw the sneeze coming before it actually hit the Was, you know, doing a lot of Muhammad Atta, 911 shit. Like being mistaken for his whole act. Like Jakob Smirnov was, you know, about the ruble. [01:07:22] Speaker A: It was nothing about that. [01:07:23] Speaker C: Well, a lot of comedians felt that way. [01:07:26] Speaker A: Well, a lot of comedians were full of shit. Kamal was successful because his act was virtually identity free. [01:07:37] Speaker C: Really? So all the shit we've been talking about, about identity comics and. Yeah, he doesn't do a lot in here about. Well, he does. [01:07:44] Speaker A: He never did. He know. Although I get into arguments about people because I say, well, what about this joke? I'd be like, when you. When Camail walked on stage, he was just a dude telling jokes. [01:07:56] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:07:57] Speaker A: Otherwise I fucking wouldn't have booked him. And let me tell you, I am a fascist when it comes to stripping identity stuff out of shows. [01:08:06] Speaker C: Really. [01:08:06] Speaker A: So that is. That is proof just enough that I booked him. [01:08:11] Speaker C: Well, if you look at the rostrum of this place, it's all identity. [01:08:15] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I don't book any. [01:08:16] Speaker B: Okay, all right. [01:08:17] Speaker A: Well, I'm talking about the days when. When the lodge was tip top. Top of the heap. I was booking it then. [01:08:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:08:25] Speaker A: You're only looking very clear about that. Are you two doing, like, weird? [01:08:30] Speaker B: No, he hasn't looked at me at all. [01:08:32] Speaker C: He's laughing at you. And then, of course, there was. There was a lot of confusion because of their names, Kamal and Khalil at the time. [01:08:41] Speaker A: Yeah. And you were championing Khalil. [01:08:43] Speaker C: Yeah, I chose the wrong horse. I picked Khalil to win the race, and he did not. [01:08:51] Speaker A: That's what. That's why you need a horse that's fast and not offensive. [01:08:57] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, I went for offensive. [01:08:59] Speaker A: Yeah. The. The horse that's just in front of the grandstands shitting and wiggling its ass at the audience doesn't win the race. [01:09:07] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, for sure. Lesson learned. Anyway, okay, so he makes the movie. And. And. But before this, before the movie, had he been in Silicon Valley? [01:09:19] Speaker A: Yeah, I want say. [01:09:21] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah. Adjacent to that time. Maybe the same time now. What's his relationship with tj? [01:09:29] Speaker A: They. I think they had a. What you call it. [01:09:33] Speaker C: But were they, were they mates? [01:09:35] Speaker A: Conscious uncoupling. [01:09:36] Speaker C: They had done a couple. But were they mates in the same way that him and Holmes were mates, like coming up? Because like, like when I talked to tj, he. We didn't talk about Camille, but like he was saying like at the time, like I was still around but like I was, I was out. So I didn't know like the relationships of this. These guys as much. Right. Like, were they all mates? TJ and Camille and Pete and these guys. [01:10:00] Speaker A: I mean they were both in blurbs. Yeah. Kamal and tj. Okay, so they had an interface. [01:10:07] Speaker C: Yeah, but that didn't. They didn't parlay that relationship in a parlay. They didn't. That relationship didn't land them Silicon Valley. Meaning like TJ didn't bring in Kumail or vice versa into that. There was just, I don't know, random. [01:10:23] Speaker A: Never read the, the silicone law. [01:10:26] Speaker C: Okay, so they. He's got that. So he's got a lot of heat. But had he had a special. I know he hadn't done stand up for 10 years before this, he says, but had he had a stand up special before any of the movie stuff or. [01:10:38] Speaker A: No, no, I don't. [01:10:39] Speaker C: How do you get. I guess what I'm saying is how do you get all this? [01:10:46] Speaker A: We just did half of the timeline. So he, he leaves Chicago, the hot hand, the. The dog's bollocks, the bees knees. Right. He goes to New York, he gets knighted by Eugene Mermaid, right? Boom. All of those doors are now open. [01:11:01] Speaker C: But he didn't do Conan or anything like that? [01:11:05] Speaker A: Probably not that I know of. No. He was very alt at the time. So I think he did. He started cropping up on. Because like you see him on Portlandia and stuff. So he's always been kind of alt royalty. [01:11:18] Speaker C: Yeah, Danny goes all royalty. [01:11:22] Speaker B: I don't know about that. [01:11:23] Speaker C: His act is an alt at all. [01:11:26] Speaker B: What does he do on Portland? [01:11:28] Speaker A: Portlandia? He plays this one. One. He. He's not like a character. He does these little. He plays like normally a very officious guy. So in the Voice, what does that mean, officious? He's got a clipboard and he. So in one scene he goes to this guy who's claiming he's a. He's a TV on the radio fan and he's like trying to catch him and he brings. He brings the lead singer of TV on the Right. Yeah, stuff like that. But he, he's only in like little. [01:12:03] Speaker B: Sure. [01:12:03] Speaker A: Five minutes. [01:12:04] Speaker B: Keep an eye out for him. I like that show. [01:12:06] Speaker A: Yep. But no, he's always been in with the alt royalty because he's not an alt comedian. [01:12:13] Speaker C: Right. [01:12:13] Speaker A: Well, he kind of is. Not being. Not Al, if you see what I mean. And not being conventional comedian. Plus, he has an incredibly alt sensibility, even if it doesn't come on stage. I mean, there used to be a gang of us. So I would go back to England and I would come back with all the latest comedy. Right. This is pre Internet, so it wasn't readily available. So I know I've said this before, but I remember sitting there's like me and Jared Logan and Camail and Ridley and a couple of others. And I was almost like a crack dealer. Like, hey, I've got New New England DVDs. So I remember sitting in my apartment in Ashland Avenue and watching Mighty Boosh for the first time with Ridley and. And Kamale and going, holy shit, this is what fucking comedy should be. And I remember one time I was really hyped to show him one thing. And I showed him one episode of the Office, you know, the Ricky Gervais one. And I said, yeah, there's this thing as well. My sister's really into it. It's pretty good. I've watched one and everyone went, whoa, whoa, whoa, dial this one back in. You know what I mean? Because I'd skated by it. [01:13:36] Speaker C: So interesting that you guys were. [01:13:39] Speaker A: Pete Holmes is like in with the alt royalty. And he's not. Oh, yeah, you shouldn't be. I think it's just if, you know, comedy, even whatever comedy. [01:13:50] Speaker C: He's in with the comedy nerd royalty. [01:13:51] Speaker A: Yeah. Kind of thing. I don't know. But that's how the doors open with Kamau because we. I used to joke with CJ Toledano that like it was a two horse race between Aziz Ansari and Kamael to. To grab the, you know, the Asian, the 911. [01:14:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:14:11] Speaker A: And Aziz Ansari was winning it. But then he got embroiled in that whole me too, he got me two thing. And suddenly Kamal's hood, of course, surges into the lead. [01:14:22] Speaker C: And then there's Khalil way back at the back. [01:14:24] Speaker B: I never made it even. [01:14:26] Speaker C: Never made it to the race. [01:14:27] Speaker A: There's you giving Khalil sugar cubes going. Come on, giddy up, boy. [01:14:31] Speaker C: Hot pepper in his ass. [01:14:32] Speaker A: Giddy up. [01:14:33] Speaker C: Sticking a foot up his ass, as he would say. Putting a foot up his ass. [01:14:37] Speaker A: Yeah, he needs foot up his ass. [01:14:40] Speaker C: Well, speaking of all comedy, I was reading this, there's this book out about all comedy and then I was reading one of the chapters, gave Jason Fever and me credit for giving birth to all of old comedy. [01:14:53] Speaker B: Oh, congratulations. [01:14:54] Speaker C: Yeah, like basically we gave. We started the whole all comedy. I. That's what the author said. I don't, I didn't read all of it. [01:15:02] Speaker B: Well, good for you. [01:15:03] Speaker C: A couple parts of it. [01:15:04] Speaker A: That's. That's the right. No, perfect amount of wrong. [01:15:10] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, something like that. Yeah, yeah. Was just thumbing through it at the Art Institute the other day so that I started all comedy in America. Did you? Whatever. I don't know if that's true or not, but yeah. [01:15:25] Speaker B: Do you have a drawing of Kameo? [01:15:27] Speaker C: No, I didn't draw anything. No, I didn't. I didn't. All right, so let's go. Let's get it. Because we. This is four hour episode. But you like to stand up. You thought he was a good stand up Kamehameh? Yes, yes, he's a good stand up. All right. So then he, he makes it big. He's in the shows. He abandoned stand up comedy, which I didn't know for 10 years while he's making movies. Makes a bunch of movies. Eternals and then Stuber and who knows what else. I didn't bother to look up his whole bio and he. And before we get into the act, he is. You still. We still consider him a friend of the lodge. Today he's come. He doesn't ever come back. Does he ever come back to Chicago? [01:16:16] Speaker A: I mean, he came to look at the lodge. [01:16:18] Speaker C: He did during the movie thing? [01:16:21] Speaker A: No, this was just. [01:16:22] Speaker C: Oh, the new lodge. [01:16:23] Speaker A: Yeah, the new lodge. [01:16:25] Speaker C: His wife's from here. [01:16:27] Speaker A: No. [01:16:28] Speaker C: So there's no family here. There's no family for him to, to come back to. Has there ever been discussions about him coming and now that he's doing stand up performing at the lodge? [01:16:39] Speaker A: No, I didn't know if the, the coming to look at it was a sort of quick recce. [01:16:44] Speaker C: When was that? [01:16:45] Speaker A: Well, I want to say a couple of years ago. I don't know. [01:16:49] Speaker C: Maybe quick recce. What does that mean? [01:16:52] Speaker A: Reconnoiter. [01:16:53] Speaker C: What does that mean? [01:16:54] Speaker A: Reconnaissance as French for reconnaissance. [01:16:57] Speaker B: That was our British scouting it out. [01:16:59] Speaker C: Maybe, Maybe you're scouting it out for the special. [01:17:01] Speaker A: You think now because you need to. If you're going to record a special, you need a certain depth of stage and this, that, that's. [01:17:10] Speaker C: But we've seen a lot having watched all these specials, they do them in very tight settings, tighter than this one. Even. [01:17:16] Speaker A: No, no. Yeah, you can do it that way. But I'm saying most, like, directors are [01:17:21] Speaker C: going to, like, they want the big thing. [01:17:23] Speaker A: You're going to do the big thing. You're going to need a certain size of venue. [01:17:26] Speaker C: Speaking of which, my favorite comedian. Who's my favorite comedian? [01:17:30] Speaker A: John Doctor. [01:17:32] Speaker C: No, no, no. Caleb. [01:17:34] Speaker B: John Rivers. [01:17:35] Speaker C: Caleb Huron makes a big appearance in Devil Wears Prada, too. Big one. Oh, he's in there. It's actually a small appearance. Well, this special is shot at the Vic, right? Did you know he was here when he did this? A year ago or two years ago when it was. Yeah, maybe that's when he was here was when he was. [01:17:55] Speaker A: No, no, no. He's way before that. [01:17:57] Speaker C: Oh, you knew that he was. Did you see that? Did you watch this film? Did you go to the special when you filmed it? See, this is what I don't get, right? Like, if I ever made it big, right, you'd be the first fucking guy I call. [01:18:12] Speaker A: Everyone says that and it's, no, but bollocks. [01:18:16] Speaker C: That's not true. What? Why wouldn't you. You're coming back to Chicago. This is where you launched from the people that launched you, helped launch you. You would absolutely want those people there. You'd be the fucking backstage. You'd be there, the whole thing. Why wouldn't you? Like, that's what I don't get, right? [01:18:35] Speaker A: Maybe you've got to go through it to understand why these people don't do that. [01:18:40] Speaker C: Maybe it's the type of person that actually gets all the way. There isn't the type of person that would. I don't want to say, you know, [01:18:50] Speaker B: do you think it has something to do with, like. Yeah, but do you think it has something to do with between here and their ultimate success? There were so many other people that helped them in that period of time, and those seem like more helpful people because the stakes were higher, the success was higher. You know, the launching pad all of a sudden seems almost forgettable. [01:19:10] Speaker C: No, I understand that. But if you come back to the launching pad, you're basically at the launching pad, right? And you just. You look, you know, you just ignore the launching pad when you're here. Most that I don't get. [01:19:22] Speaker A: Most comedians won't even acknowledge a launching pad or they'll give you the one. That's totally not it. [01:19:30] Speaker C: That's some fucking bullshit, right? [01:19:32] Speaker A: Like, I look in this special, Camille says, I, I opened for Zach Galfen Akers here, and I always wanted to come back here. Yeah, he didn't say, I always wanted to come back to the Lincoln Lodge. He said, I always wanted to come back to the Vic Theater. [01:19:47] Speaker C: I got a problem with that. Well, whatever. He doesn't have to name drop the Lincoln Lodge in the special. Right. But just the fact that if he was here and like, you know, the people that. That started him out are here, and he doesn't reach out and make them a part of this special that's happening here or not make part of it, but like, that. That rubs me the wrong way. [01:20:07] Speaker A: C.J. not told you the autograph story? He must have. [01:20:11] Speaker C: No, but that's another. [01:20:12] Speaker A: It's infamous. [01:20:13] Speaker C: Tell me that in a second. But when CJ was here recently doing the improv, he. He gave me a shout out from the stage, said my name from the stage, like Bill o' Donnell out there. Cincinnati Deers. [01:20:27] Speaker A: Right. [01:20:29] Speaker C: So that. So there are people that do that, that make it big, like cj. [01:20:33] Speaker A: Well, CJ hasn't had, to be honest, a fucking role in a Marvel movie. [01:20:38] Speaker C: Not yet. Not yet. [01:20:39] Speaker A: I mean, he's still working on the Marvel body. [01:20:42] Speaker C: Well, I. Maybe, yeah, I could see him doing it or. What's the autographs were? [01:20:48] Speaker A: It's a CJ solo. I don't know if it's bollocks, because I don't think CJ is a. Is a romance. He doesn't like to romance the truth up. Right. No, I don't want to tell this story of his bollocks, but I'm. So. I'm putting a massive disclaimer on it. So CJ saw that Kamal was doing a book signing somewhere. I don't know where he has a book. Yeah. And what? Stop derailing the story. So he goes over. He goes to the book signing and just to see Kamao, like, hey, it's cj. So he goes up to Kamael and. And talks. Talks to him like, hey. And then at the end of it, so Kamal goes, so do you want my autograph then? [01:21:37] Speaker C: No way. No way. [01:21:41] Speaker A: There's no way you're getting CJ on record with it. But that is a story. That is. Does the round. Seems incredible. [01:21:52] Speaker C: Now let's do. Were you. You were muting my mic. [01:21:54] Speaker B: Yes, I was. [01:22:00] Speaker C: Now let's review Camille Nanjiani's Night Moves. [01:22:03] Speaker A: Night. [01:22:04] Speaker C: I kept. I keep wanting to say night moves. Like Bob Seeger's night Moves. [01:22:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:22:08] Speaker A: Okay. I thought. I didn't know if it was derivative of Matt Bronger's album Night Surrender the Night. [01:22:17] Speaker C: Wow. [01:22:18] Speaker A: Matt Brunger put an album out with, like, a It's a very, like, Bob seegery 70s picture of him, like. [01:22:26] Speaker C: And it's comedy album. [01:22:27] Speaker A: Yeah. And it's called Surrender the Night. It was a genius idea because what he did is he had. He had vinyl albums made. [01:22:33] Speaker C: Wow. [01:22:34] Speaker A: But obviously, most people at a comedy show go, I don't have a record player anymore. I can't buy your album. And he's like, no, inside it, there's a download code. [01:22:42] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. They did that with every album for a while. I don't do that anymore, though. [01:22:48] Speaker A: Last time I talked to Matt, he had a garage vinyl album, Surrender the Night. Surrender the Night. Because no one was buying the hook of, like, get the vinyl anyway, you know? [01:23:01] Speaker C: Now, do you mute your sneezes? [01:23:04] Speaker B: No, but I sneeze away from the microphone. [01:23:05] Speaker C: So you can sneeze over there and pack up a long way. [01:23:08] Speaker B: You can chew over there if you didn't chew into the microphone. [01:23:10] Speaker C: But I can't chew a mento. [01:23:11] Speaker B: You can if you don't put your mouth on the microphone while you're chewing and drive everybody that listens crazy. [01:23:16] Speaker A: I always have. Manuka, honey, before I come to these tapings, because I know it's like a cesspit of bacteria in this room. [01:23:22] Speaker C: It is. Okay, so Night Thoughts, Night moves, and you said derivative, so I want to get to it. There was something in this special that has created something of a firestorm. Is there in the online community of former Chicago comedians? [01:23:41] Speaker A: What is this community that you're accessing? These want to be a storm? No, I bloody don't need a card. [01:23:47] Speaker C: You're not in there yet. [01:23:48] Speaker A: I do not want to be in any. [01:23:50] Speaker C: Kenny Bernard's in there, I'll tell you that. [01:23:52] Speaker A: Oh, it's just some bullshit group text for your American football ball, maybe. Yeah. All right. And bring on the storm bringer. [01:24:01] Speaker B: It. [01:24:02] Speaker C: It appears that Allah Carlos Mencia Kumail has taken the joke of one of our very own and used it in the special. [01:24:15] Speaker B: I noticed multiple jokes being recycled in this special. [01:24:18] Speaker C: Yeah, there was a lot of themes. Recycled. Yeah. Come on. I mean. [01:24:21] Speaker A: I mean, themes, yeah, but jokes. [01:24:22] Speaker B: No specific jokes. [01:24:24] Speaker C: Go ahead. Which one? [01:24:24] Speaker B: Okay, how about the entire buying m. Buying weed from the weed dealer. [01:24:29] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [01:24:30] Speaker B: That John Mulaney did that whole thing in the special that we reviewed about Chinese food. He said, you don't go to a restaurant and then they take a bite of your burger. The whole joke, the entire joke, it's like three whole minutes. It's. It's just copy and paste. The same thing that John Mulaney said in his comeback, kids, he just changed the food. He just changed the food. That's it. [01:24:48] Speaker A: I didn't. [01:24:49] Speaker B: Every other single. Where every part of that concept was [01:24:52] Speaker A: word for word the bit. I thought when I heard the bit, I was like, yeah, this is something that a million comedians have done before. So I thought that bit was. I didn't think. [01:25:04] Speaker B: The butcher paper that the doctor pulls over the. Over the Bench is straight from Jerry Seinfeld's. [01:25:11] Speaker C: Yeah, we talked about that special that [01:25:13] Speaker B: we just reviewed recently. [01:25:14] Speaker C: Yep. Yeah. I feel like there's been many catchy, many encore bits, too, about musicians, encores, and how absurd it is. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a bit that a Chicago comedian here for years did this bit, probably still does this bit in his act, and took it right out. Right in the act. You don't know? [01:25:40] Speaker A: No. [01:25:41] Speaker C: Well, the comedian is Monty. I don't know if you're familiar with the comedian Monty, Chicago comedian now living in la, Working in la. [01:25:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:25:51] Speaker C: And one of his signature bits was about the term nonchalant. Ringing any bells now? No. [01:26:01] Speaker A: He say, I thought that was disposable one liner. [01:26:04] Speaker C: No. Well, nonchalant. What? Not what. What are you saying? If I'm not nonchalant? You never hear anybody say shalant. You're being real shalant. That was a. That was a verbatim bit. [01:26:22] Speaker B: That sounds like an old. Yeah, old timey comic bit. [01:26:25] Speaker C: Okay, yeah. Well, then here we go. [01:26:27] Speaker B: But specifically in a nonchalant. Yeah, so when Kumal said nonchalant, and then he said. Or was I being shalant or whatever, [01:26:33] Speaker C: how maybe I was being. [01:26:34] Speaker B: I don't remember how he put it, but I remember how. I remember he paused and, like, let it sink in and, like, did a, like, little twinkly eye look at the audience and I'm thinking, like, God damn, like, people make that joke all. I hear the joke once a week, you know. [01:26:44] Speaker C: About shalant? [01:26:45] Speaker B: No, about any word that has the. Or the N before. Like, well, what if you're not that? Is it just this? Okay, yeah, we got it. Let's keep doing. Let's keep moving. [01:26:54] Speaker C: Well, Monty knows now, and Monty is none too pleased. [01:27:00] Speaker B: Oh, did you tell Monty that? [01:27:01] Speaker C: Well, I didn't tell him. I didn't. But he got back to him and he's none too pleased about his signature Shalon pit being used in Night Moves, Night Thoughts and Stirring the Pot. [01:27:12] Speaker B: Yep. [01:27:12] Speaker C: And I don't know if Kumail knows what happened To Jason Fever back in the day. [01:27:17] Speaker B: What happened to Jason Fever back in the day? [01:27:19] Speaker C: Well, yeah, this young man had his eyeballs gouged out [01:27:25] Speaker B: for repeating a joke that is not very nonchalant. [01:27:28] Speaker C: Yeah, I don't know. If I was Camille, I might be. [01:27:31] Speaker A: That wasn't joke related. [01:27:33] Speaker C: No. [01:27:33] Speaker B: What was that? [01:27:34] Speaker C: Oh, no, we can't talk about that. [01:27:35] Speaker B: Oh, you just want to bring it up and not give the details. [01:27:37] Speaker C: Can't. Can't talk about that. But, yeah, it's creative. A bit of a firestorm in the Chicago comedy community. But I think a lot of these guys are some of the same guys that begrudge Grudge the success of Kumil. And when they said he was just cashing in on 9 11, you know, like Yaakov Smirnoff in the Cold War. [01:27:59] Speaker A: Jesus Christ, he's just gonna keep saying that. [01:28:02] Speaker B: Saying what? What do you keep saying, Bill? [01:28:05] Speaker A: This 9 11. [01:28:07] Speaker C: A lot of comedians saw Kumail because he was. He appeared Middle east, he appeared Middle Eastern. Shot to stardom after 9 11. [01:28:18] Speaker B: Has anybody else done something similar? [01:28:20] Speaker C: There was a lot of. Yakov Smirnoff, Russian comedian made. Made it big. Still performing, I understand down in Branson. He's got his own theater down in Branson. Yakov Shimiroff. That would be a fun trip for us to take. [01:28:35] Speaker B: Let's do it. [01:28:35] Speaker C: Pile in the Ford Festiva. [01:28:38] Speaker B: Who's got a Ford Festiva? [01:28:39] Speaker C: Yeah, he does. [01:28:40] Speaker B: You do? [01:28:41] Speaker C: He used to piling Geary's Econo box and motor down to Branson, Missouri. [01:28:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:28:50] Speaker A: Put on a Lawrence Welk hat. [01:28:52] Speaker C: Yeah, I had it on today. You know what? And I was gonna wear it here. It's ill fitting. It's very bulbous. It's so bulbous. Lawrence Welk 1. [01:29:01] Speaker A: Because it's an old man's trucker hat. [01:29:03] Speaker B: Is it the one they gave you last week? [01:29:05] Speaker C: It's not that. It's so high. Yeah. But it's just bulbous. [01:29:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:29:09] Speaker B: Huh. I can't wear mine. [01:29:11] Speaker A: It's built for, like, an elderly Jewish woman to put on her head. And it's gotta hold a lot of hair. Yeah. [01:29:17] Speaker C: It's like a beehive made for a beehive. [01:29:20] Speaker B: The one that you gave me. That's not the only time people have given me a hat, you know, and it's really nice when people give me hats, but I can't wear them. So I have a specific, like this armoire. [01:29:28] Speaker C: You got that one on your head. I got on your head. [01:29:30] Speaker A: I thought about that. I thought about that. I could build you a little extender. [01:29:35] Speaker B: Yeah, and you know what? It's not even that. If it were the fact that if it did fit, it still looks. Even if it does, even if I can get it around my head, it looks ridiculous. It just looks. It's too much hat. You know, it looks wrong. You could just tell, like, that guy, that. That hat, that's not natural. It's like seeing somebody with too much Botox. You know, you're just like, that's just not natural. [01:29:59] Speaker A: Give it to a sister, then. [01:30:00] Speaker B: Well, I have them all on dis. Wait, give it to a sister? Yeah, yeah, I should. I'll give it to. To my. One of my sisters. [01:30:05] Speaker C: Your sister. [01:30:06] Speaker B: But I do. I have them all on display. [01:30:08] Speaker A: One of his. [01:30:09] Speaker C: An African American gal. [01:30:10] Speaker A: No, no, no. [01:30:11] Speaker C: I thought he said give it to [01:30:11] Speaker B: us because they have the same. They have last name McCann. [01:30:14] Speaker C: Oh, none. [01:30:16] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. I'll give it to Sister Marie Gerard. [01:30:20] Speaker C: All right, well, come on. [01:30:22] Speaker A: Keep going. Keep stirring the pot. [01:30:24] Speaker C: No, I'm not stirring any more pots. [01:30:25] Speaker B: But who else's jokes did he steal? [01:30:26] Speaker C: I don't know. That's the only one I knew. [01:30:28] Speaker B: You know, you said Carlos Men. [01:30:30] Speaker C: He's known. [01:30:30] Speaker B: Or were you just saying that Carlos Mencia stole jokes? [01:30:33] Speaker C: He was ostracized from the comedy. [01:30:34] Speaker B: I know that. I thought maybe that this guy stole one of Carlos Mencia's jokes, which would be like stealing a joke twice, which is like getting a Veep in a box set as a gift from somebody. [01:30:46] Speaker C: What else did you write down or what? You have extensive notes. [01:30:48] Speaker A: Peter Gross is in Veep. Quite extensive. [01:30:51] Speaker B: Is he? [01:30:51] Speaker C: Yeah. Good for him. Is he still with Deb Downing? [01:30:55] Speaker A: Was Kamal in? No. Was Kamael in Veep? [01:30:59] Speaker B: I don't know. Like I said, I didn't even know he was an actor, so I'm the wrong guy to ask. [01:31:05] Speaker C: Okay. [01:31:07] Speaker B: All right. [01:31:07] Speaker C: What else did you. I've never seen pages of notes here. It looks like you have pages upon pages of notes. [01:31:13] Speaker A: That's the Richard Pryor. I'm trying to be economical. [01:31:16] Speaker C: Yeah, right on both sides there. [01:31:18] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. He guest starred in the season two premiere of V. Kumail. Yeah. [01:31:23] Speaker C: Yeah. I wonder what the role was he. [01:31:26] Speaker A: He literally was like. Or is like, all comedy royalty. He's in you sitting watching something. [01:31:34] Speaker C: But show me any alt comedy. What is all comedy if he's all veep is alt comedy. I don't know about that. It's comedy. All comedy is something that's not being done right. All the. These guys are all doing shit Already been done. Listen, I don't. I don't know. There's a book out there that talks about all comedy and says that I invented it. So I don't. I mean, I think I know. [01:31:59] Speaker A: Because of the Russian Cold War. [01:32:01] Speaker C: No. [01:32:03] Speaker A: You cashed in on the Russian Cold. [01:32:05] Speaker C: I didn't cash in on anything. I just invented in something and then everybody else took off and, you know, made themselves famous. [01:32:10] Speaker A: I wonder if it's too late for me to cash in on the Falkland. [01:32:13] Speaker B: Started making vodka under the same name. [01:32:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:32:18] Speaker B: Is it too late to cash in on what? [01:32:20] Speaker A: The Falklands. [01:32:21] Speaker B: What's. Okay. [01:32:23] Speaker C: Oh, you lost me. Did you notice, Camille, his outfit? [01:32:31] Speaker B: Just a shirt and pants, right? [01:32:32] Speaker A: Yeah, just. [01:32:34] Speaker C: Just like a. Kind of like a H and M. Yeah. [01:32:37] Speaker B: Model polo style shirt. [01:32:40] Speaker C: Yeah. But did you notice his pants? [01:32:43] Speaker B: No. [01:32:44] Speaker C: And he seemed to have a sizable bulge in his pants. [01:32:48] Speaker B: Really? Yeah, I mean, in the front of the pants. [01:32:50] Speaker C: I don't know. I've never noticed it on any other comedian we've watched. He had a bulge either. He's packing a bulge, you know, like Tom Jones. Yeah. [01:32:58] Speaker A: Question. Who is the legendary old comedian who legendarily had a massive schlong? [01:33:05] Speaker C: Old. [01:33:06] Speaker A: You know who it is. [01:33:08] Speaker C: I do. I do. [01:33:14] Speaker A: A jokesmith. Yeah. [01:33:16] Speaker C: Alan King. [01:33:17] Speaker A: No, Milton Berle. [01:33:20] Speaker C: Oh, Milton Berl. Had a hog on him. [01:33:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:33:22] Speaker B: Really? [01:33:22] Speaker A: Yep. [01:33:23] Speaker C: Verified. [01:33:24] Speaker A: I don't know. [01:33:25] Speaker C: Not by you. [01:33:25] Speaker A: It's just legendary through the. [01:33:27] Speaker C: But he had a big hog on him. [01:33:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:33:30] Speaker C: Why did I think Alan King had a hog on him? [01:33:32] Speaker A: I don't know. [01:33:33] Speaker C: My first thought was Rodney, but. Yeah, I think Camille has a. Do we know if he does have a hog on him? Because it looked like he was bulging out or he might have, I don't know, accusing him of this, but stuffing his pants. [01:33:48] Speaker B: Very spinal COD piece. [01:33:49] Speaker C: Yeah. Put a COD piece in for a special. I might do that if I was. If I was going to be on stage like that. [01:33:55] Speaker B: Put a fish. [01:33:56] Speaker C: Yeah, Put something down there, you know, so I don't look like a eunuch. [01:34:02] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. You don't want to look like a eunuch. [01:34:04] Speaker C: Right. So I noticed the bulge and then it made me think, you know, like, there are certain races of people that are known for big penis. Right. White. Not right. Are Pakistani men generalizing here? I don't know. I'm asking. Known for big penis. Yes, they are. [01:34:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Because think about it, every time you see one of those videos of somebody stretching out their penis with a stick, you know. [01:34:32] Speaker C: Yeah. There is that. [01:34:34] Speaker A: Right. [01:34:34] Speaker C: They do that. [01:34:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:34:36] Speaker A: Well, you guys Watch videos of people stretching their penis. [01:34:41] Speaker C: Seen it. [01:34:41] Speaker B: You've never googled stretching your penis with a stick. [01:34:44] Speaker C: That will do. [01:34:45] Speaker B: Looks like it. [01:34:46] Speaker C: Now, when I. I had Covid. [01:34:50] Speaker A: How many videos a week do you watch of people stretching their penis? [01:34:54] Speaker C: I've seen it. Just. I saw. [01:34:56] Speaker B: Depends how busy I am. [01:34:57] Speaker A: Well, not ballpark. Dick Park. [01:34:59] Speaker C: No, I don't. I, I don't but dozen, dozen. Half Johnny on the spot with the sound effects today. No, not, not often. I don't watch penis video. [01:35:12] Speaker A: Just when the missus is out of town. [01:35:15] Speaker C: Yeah. One of the kids at the camp, one of the umpires was also a kid nicknamed this kid Penis. And when he would come up to bed, all the kids would start chanting, penis, penis, penis. I had to stop to it now that I can't have any of that. [01:35:34] Speaker B: Put the kibosh on that. [01:35:36] Speaker C: Can't be calling the kid penis. [01:35:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:35:37] Speaker B: Is kibosh a sausage? [01:35:40] Speaker C: Don't know. [01:35:40] Speaker A: That kid's scarf. Kibosh. [01:35:42] Speaker C: Yeah. No, he didn't mind, but I didn't just the objects on it were bad. I had. I've had from COVID I don't know if we. I told you I had Covid four or five times and I have my penis shrunk. [01:35:55] Speaker B: You got to get a stick covered. Go get yourself some stretching stick. [01:35:59] Speaker C: It's a real thing. Yeah, all right, I'll look into that. [01:36:05] Speaker A: Can I bring us back to the special? [01:36:07] Speaker C: Yeah. I thought we were talking about the special. [01:36:10] Speaker A: I have a green card and I never got interviewed for it. [01:36:12] Speaker C: Yeah, I was gonna say. Yeah, that sounds. [01:36:14] Speaker A: You get into. You. You get interviewed for. What's it? [01:36:21] Speaker C: Citizenship. [01:36:21] Speaker A: Citizenship. And. But he specifically said green card, so [01:36:27] Speaker C: I'm more calling Any other. You want to call out here? [01:36:33] Speaker A: No, mostly got. I honestly, I've got mostly good bits. Fight or flight? Good bit. Color of hair, eyes. Good bit. [01:36:44] Speaker B: Yeah, that was good. [01:36:45] Speaker A: Cat bit. Good bit. Going to therapy. Good bit. [01:36:54] Speaker B: It did turn into a 10 minute commercial for therapy eventually. Towards the end there. Eventually the. Yeah, that's right. Eventually the, the jokes stopped and the, the pandering for therapy continued. [01:37:09] Speaker C: I'm gonna get to that. I want to get to that. But what did you think about the signature portmanteau, the night thoughts bit about his night thoughts? Laying in bed and having night thoughts. [01:37:25] Speaker A: I did put. That was a bit hacky. That just seemed a convenient way to do jokes without having. [01:37:34] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:37:35] Speaker C: Trojan horse. It was a trojan horse. [01:37:37] Speaker A: It's. It's like the hackiest bit ever was the. I'm a Stoner. Anyone else smoke weed? Here's some of the stupid stuff that I wrote down when I was high. [01:37:48] Speaker B: Right. [01:37:49] Speaker A: And I looked in my notepad in the morning. [01:37:51] Speaker C: There's a comedian here that does that that we rather like. [01:37:53] Speaker B: It's probably more than one one. [01:37:55] Speaker A: Yeah. They still doing it things, I think when I'm high. Yeah. But it's just terrible. It's just some way to do one liners without Hedberg. Yeah. [01:38:06] Speaker C: I did like the one bit about where he talked about how white people can be blue eyed, brown. [01:38:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:38:13] Speaker C: And anyone else is black eyed and black haired. [01:38:17] Speaker A: To me, that's a genius bit because it's been sitting there on the table for decades. [01:38:23] Speaker C: Yeah. And nobody's. [01:38:24] Speaker A: No one touched it. [01:38:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:38:26] Speaker B: What does CVS stand for? [01:38:28] Speaker C: That's also a great bet. [01:38:30] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:38:30] Speaker A: Sitting there on the table. No one touched it. [01:38:33] Speaker C: Yeah. It's a great bit. I thought of a bit the other night, like, about pronouns, you know, everybody, you know, they changing the pronouns. We're trying to keep up with all the different pronouns. Nobody's used the pronoun me. Like there are they, them or she, they or. [01:38:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:38:50] Speaker C: Or it. No, nobody uses it, but it's a whatever. But nobody says, I want to be known as a me. Right. So, like, if you were talking about me, you, Christian would say, where's Bill? And you had to use my pronoun me. You'd say, me just text. [01:39:10] Speaker B: He's in the bathroom. [01:39:11] Speaker C: Me just texted. Me's driving over right now. [01:39:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:39:13] Speaker C: It'd be confusing. Be like, who's on first bit. Right. Like me. I mean, me. I. I'm a me. I. Yeah. Is that a good bet that's sitting there all this time? Just sitting? [01:39:25] Speaker A: Well, you don't necessarily put it down [01:39:26] Speaker B: in your night thoughts. [01:39:26] Speaker A: You don't have to be me. I guess me is an actual structural verb or whatever you want to call. [01:39:31] Speaker C: It's a pronoun. [01:39:32] Speaker A: You could be anything, though. You could be like, I want to be banana from now on. [01:39:36] Speaker C: No, no, no. [01:39:37] Speaker A: I know that's right. Ridiculous. I tell you what you said, no one's an it. That's how Michael Kane refers to women in seminal movie Alfie as it. It. Yeah, it's sad. It's this. [01:39:50] Speaker C: Oh, that. [01:39:51] Speaker A: Have you seen Alf? [01:39:52] Speaker B: Buffalo. Buffalo Bill. [01:39:53] Speaker C: I've seen Alfie with Jude Laws. [01:39:55] Speaker A: See the original Alfie. It is not what you're expecting. [01:39:59] Speaker C: It's politically incorrect. [01:40:00] Speaker B: Does it start in an elevator? [01:40:04] Speaker A: It's Michael Kane on a bus for three. No, it is not what you expect. It's kind of like. Did you ever see the Graduate? [01:40:12] Speaker C: Sure. Who hasn't? [01:40:14] Speaker A: Not what I expected at all. [01:40:15] Speaker C: The Graduate wasn't no Uber. [01:40:18] Speaker A: It was weird and sort of. I don't know. I mean, it was good, but. Alfie, Original. Not what you're expecting. [01:40:27] Speaker C: I love Michael Kane. All right, so anything else before we get to what you mentioned? Christian? The last. [01:40:37] Speaker B: No, let's get to it. [01:40:38] Speaker C: Want to get to the last act? [01:40:39] Speaker B: Yeah, let's do it. [01:40:40] Speaker C: Right, so he does bits about weed, about concerts, about cats, about the night, thoughts about having anxiety about. He did a little bit about. He did a little Yakov Smirnoff immigrant bit. [01:40:54] Speaker A: What about the Paul Breakin story? That was very, very good. [01:40:58] Speaker B: Who? The people break in. [01:41:00] Speaker A: The people that broke into his swimming pool. And he was talking to them through the camera. [01:41:06] Speaker C: Yeah, to me, like. To me, like. God, it was so gratuitous. Like, oh, I've got a. I know any. Any. Like, he's like, I don't want to brag that I have a pool, but these people broke in my. That. That. That turned me off. [01:41:19] Speaker B: When he did the bit about his wife turning into the cyborg. The police. That was the. That was the only time I laughed out loud. Really? At the entire special. Yeah. I thought that was a. That was the acme right there. [01:41:30] Speaker C: That was the acme for you. [01:41:31] Speaker B: That's what it was. [01:41:33] Speaker C: Yeah. I didn't really like that bit. That. That much. And then he talks about doing a podcast or going on a podcast. [01:41:40] Speaker B: Yeah, his friend's podcast. I was wondering what that is. [01:41:43] Speaker C: Which is again, brings me back here. Why is he not here with us today? [01:41:46] Speaker B: Yeah. Didn't you invite him? [01:41:47] Speaker C: Friend of the show. [01:41:48] Speaker B: You could have told him he can get his chair back. [01:41:50] Speaker C: Yeah, we'll lure them in. [01:41:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:41:52] Speaker C: Like, it's in. It's in this room. And then throw the bolt. [01:41:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:41:54] Speaker C: I want to talk about Night Thoughts. [01:41:56] Speaker B: Put a rock in front of the door. [01:41:59] Speaker C: But what was it he's talking about? And that's when it came out about the. He talked about the bad reviews. [01:42:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:42:04] Speaker C: On the podcast. [01:42:05] Speaker B: Yep. [01:42:07] Speaker C: And then. Then it starts. The landslide of which you. You said you liked his therapy bits. And I. I wrote down good, honest story. Right. Like he's telling. This guy's being vulnerable. Like I've said about other comedians, I like it when it gets raw and you talk about your insecurities, your real insecurities, and how, you know the things that are truly upsetting. And I'm liking this. But there's no jokes right here. And for the next 20 minutes when this part of the XRT, there's no jokes. [01:42:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:42:44] Speaker C: There isn't a joke to be had for the, for the last 20 minutes of this program. [01:42:49] Speaker A: Right. [01:42:50] Speaker C: It's just soul bearing about being insecure. There's some but like really not much. And it just, and it gets, it gets more and more, I don't know, you know, where he's just talking about being in therapy and how important therapy is and how he's going to be okay and how everybody's going to be okay and there's no. It is the most odd, strange ending to a comedy special to remove all comedy for so long. [01:43:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:43:19] Speaker C: And then end without any comedy except for the encore. He comes back and does a little bit. [01:43:23] Speaker A: The only bit I felt it dropped off was the going to be okay bit. I felt like he was still pacing at that point. [01:43:31] Speaker C: Really? [01:43:32] Speaker A: Yep. [01:43:34] Speaker C: How about you? [01:43:35] Speaker B: Yeah, I know I, I already said my piece on it, that it, it turned into a commercial for therapy. It was, it was basically, it was like watching somebody on stage being like, and this is why you should like, I'm not, I'm here for a comedy special, not for the benefits of therapy. I'm not here for the explanation of. [01:43:53] Speaker A: Well, a Hollywood insider told me that he, I think he did that whole bit because he felt massively slighted by people going, oh, like the thing he talks about, oh, boohoo, you had to go to therapy because you only because the movie you got paid 10 million. [01:44:13] Speaker B: Yeah, he makes that pretty clear. [01:44:15] Speaker A: It makes it very clear f you. And I kind of like that. [01:44:19] Speaker C: I like that too. I, I, I like, I was very interested in what he was saying and how he's, you know, revealing his feelings about it and everything. And, and I found that very relatable. And I don't think like, boo hoo, like you make some. I'm not saying that at all. I think he has a right to be, to feel this way. But like Christian saying, I can't believe this is what he's spending 15, 20 minutes on this to end a special. Right. Like, it was just odd. It was, it was very odd to. Yeah, I want to know that. I want to read about that in an article. Right. And he can work some bits and I'm, and I'm hopeful as he starts it, but then he's just espousing the, the, the importance of therapy really for. [01:45:03] Speaker B: That's kind of like he's had an [01:45:05] Speaker C: infomercial for therapy for 10, 15 minutes. And I'm wondering what the fuck is going on here. [01:45:09] Speaker B: Yeah, that's like for a podcast. [01:45:11] Speaker C: For a podcast. [01:45:12] Speaker B: It goes. [01:45:13] Speaker C: This special goes off the rails. It's no longer a comedy special. [01:45:17] Speaker A: I'm gonna go back and watch it and be clinically counting punch lines. Yeah, you should over this. [01:45:23] Speaker C: I didn't. [01:45:23] Speaker B: But you. [01:45:24] Speaker A: I think I will be proven right that the only time his foot comes off the gas, comedy wise, is with the whole going to be okay bullshit. [01:45:33] Speaker B: But then we're gonna. What are you gonna count as a punchline, though? That's a little subjective, isn't it? [01:45:38] Speaker A: No, if Mark Geary says it's a punchline, it's a punchline. [01:45:41] Speaker C: Did you just hear him refer to himself? [01:45:43] Speaker B: I don't know. If you gotta hear my eyes roll [01:45:44] Speaker C: through the microphone Mark Geary refers to as a punchline. [01:45:48] Speaker A: I am the toughest cell in the room. I don't laugh freely. [01:45:57] Speaker C: Well, that's good to know. All right, you go back and you [01:46:07] Speaker A: report back Motley from Wacky Races. [01:46:09] Speaker C: Again, you report back to us. But I, I, I, I, Yeah, that was, this was, I, I wrote down. Wow, wow, wow. He's. This is the worst ending of all time. He's just saying the same thing about therapy over and over is completely off the rails. I just can't believe that this is how he ended. And it didn't even end with a lot. There was like, it was like a sad, it was like sad. Not sad because of what he was saying. It was just sad. It was like an open mic or sad, like getting off stage, like ending like, that's my time. I haven't had a joke get a laugh for 10, 15 minutes. Thank you. And it was like, oh, right. Like it felt like that, didn't it? [01:46:59] Speaker B: Right. No, it was very self serving. [01:47:01] Speaker C: It was, I don't know what it was. [01:47:03] Speaker B: The very ending was at least like, ooh, that felt good. Can you tell me that again? He has the audience tell him everything's gonna be all right. What is going on here? [01:47:12] Speaker A: Yeah, that was shite. But that was just one minute. [01:47:16] Speaker B: The lead up to that was. It was. So, yeah, if that was the punchline to the previous 20 minutes, it was the perfect quote unquote punchline because it was just as funny as the rest of it. [01:47:27] Speaker A: All right, I'm gonna get scientific. I'm coming back next week with a clinical analysis. [01:47:32] Speaker C: All right, you come back next week. But I did think that, that him coming back for the encore. Right? Like, that's, that's genius. Right. [01:47:40] Speaker B: Like, I like that. [01:47:41] Speaker C: Like to come back and actually do an encore. Do you know, comedians encore. [01:47:44] Speaker B: Like, he left his phone, come back [01:47:45] Speaker C: and you do another. Yeah, I mean, it was all callback to the exact. [01:47:49] Speaker A: Earlier you said that was doing a bit about. [01:47:52] Speaker C: The bit about encores is. But actually doing a comedian's encore. Right. Like, coming back and doing an encore. That's cool. That's a cool idea. Yeah. [01:48:04] Speaker B: I don't. [01:48:04] Speaker C: I can't remember anyone ever having done it. Maybe they did. If they did. If they did, then it's hack. Right. But if he's original with that, it's. It's brilliant. [01:48:13] Speaker A: All right, all right. [01:48:18] Speaker C: Yeah. And. And then, you know, he says his first joke. I don't think that was his first joke, but whatever. All right, well, I. I'm very interested. And in terms of how you're gonna score this baby. And then we'll get to who you're picking next, which I'm very excited. Mark, what do we want to. How many night thoughts do you want to give it? What do you want to call? [01:48:40] Speaker A: Come on, you're leaving it on. How many camails? That's the bit. [01:48:45] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. How many Nanjianis? [01:48:47] Speaker A: Well, I don't know why. Yeah, I don't know why you changed it to now. [01:48:50] Speaker C: Used to be Camille. [01:48:50] Speaker A: It was camails. [01:48:52] Speaker C: I probably got Nanjiani when better. [01:48:55] Speaker A: No, I got 20 recordings of him doing that bit and it's kumails every effing time. [01:49:02] Speaker C: How many kamales? [01:49:06] Speaker A: Five Khmers. Turn it up to five kamales. No one can take that many. Well, there it is. [01:49:11] Speaker C: What else can we do? I guess five camails. We know Non Giannis Camilles. I also want to say this. Have you. Have we ever seen a comedian this ripped? He's ripped and he goes into it. We don't need to go into why he's ripped or any of that shit. But, like, he's ripped. And can you be funny and be ripped? [01:49:36] Speaker B: It's tough. [01:49:37] Speaker C: I think it takes away Dang Cook. He wasn't. He was in shape, but in toned. But this dude's like bulging muscles. [01:49:43] Speaker B: Right. [01:49:45] Speaker C: And I. And I appreciate how he said, I'm keeping him just as a fuck you to everybody. But, like, Schlesinger, she was like, she's not buffed. She's strong. Yeah. [01:49:54] Speaker B: But like, this guy's nothing with the right person. [01:49:55] Speaker A: Slashing is on a World cup advert. [01:49:58] Speaker C: So, Yeah, I can't think of a comedian that's bulked up like this. And I Think it really takes away from comedy. I don't want to see a bulked up comedian. Yeah, right. Just for the sake of his comedy, he ought to lose that. I want to see a schlub. [01:50:13] Speaker A: I know you're not meant to, but I sort of. You see someone who's like that and you think, oh, they're intellectually deficient. Yeah, that's why they're doing it. [01:50:22] Speaker C: No offense to anyone out there that works out and builds muscle. Mark Urie is not saying that you're intellectually deficient if you lift weights, but that's what he thinks when he sees people who been lifting weights. You're intellectually deficient. [01:50:36] Speaker A: I don't think they're going to start telling me about Marcel Proust. I think they're gonna start telling me about what powder they drink in the morning. [01:50:44] Speaker B: Marcella. Pasta. [01:50:46] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, okay. Well, yeah, yeah. I think it takes away from. [01:50:51] Speaker A: Do you hear a lot of chatter about French cinema when you're down the gym? [01:50:55] Speaker C: No, I don't. [01:50:56] Speaker A: Probably not. Right. [01:50:57] Speaker C: But I'm not down the gym, so I don't know. Chris is. He's kind of you, Chris. [01:51:05] Speaker B: I was thinking about joining the ymca. [01:51:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:51:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:51:08] Speaker A: There's some big lads. There's a couple of big lads around here. Right. In shape lads. [01:51:15] Speaker B: Nobody really. [01:51:15] Speaker C: Yeah, Scan man. [01:51:16] Speaker B: Nobody. Nobody really strikes me as like in shape. Like, you know, like goes to the gym. Yeah. I can't think of anybody that's necessarily in shape. I mean like, there's plenty that are in shape, but I mean like overly, you know, like from the 90s. Clearly lifts a lot of weights. [01:51:35] Speaker C: Was anyone not possible to be a buff comedian? Funny comedian. [01:51:41] Speaker A: There must have been one. [01:51:42] Speaker C: Danny the bartender. He wasn't comedian though. [01:51:45] Speaker A: He was Williams. [01:51:47] Speaker C: Williams on steroids. Yeah, I can't, can't think of him. Goldstein kind of in shape, but. [01:51:54] Speaker B: Yeah, but he wasn't really a comedian. [01:51:56] Speaker C: No. [01:51:59] Speaker A: Anyway, how many camails? One to five. [01:52:02] Speaker C: One to five. Zero to five. I don't want to go first. It's my special. Christian, you go first. [01:52:06] Speaker B: All right. Zero to five. Well, I, I liked him. [01:52:11] Speaker C: You liked him? [01:52:12] Speaker B: I, I liked him when he was, when he was telling jokes and I would say his own jokes. When he was telling his own jokes. I liked it. And he probably was telling his own jokes and they were jokes about half the special. I think he would be a really good stand up comedian if he wrote a whole special and did it sometime. I hope he does that. [01:52:35] Speaker C: Meaning he stole most of his jokes from other comedians. [01:52:38] Speaker B: For now, I'll give it 2.5. [01:52:40] Speaker C: 2.5 out of 5. I thought it would be lower from you based on the facial expressions you made during this program. [01:52:46] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I'm here to surprise. [01:52:49] Speaker C: Yeah. And you have, Mark, old friend Kumail Nanjiani, his special night moves. [01:52:55] Speaker A: See, if I give him high marks, you're going to say, I'm trying to tiptoe around the landmines. [01:53:02] Speaker C: No, I want. Can we be objective, non biased. [01:53:06] Speaker A: I watched and tried to be fully objective. [01:53:10] Speaker C: And all other things aside, as an objective rate or of comedy. [01:53:16] Speaker A: Yep. [01:53:17] Speaker C: Where do you. How many Nanjianis do you give it? [01:53:20] Speaker A: I don't give it Nanjanis. I give it Kumails. I'm right on the fence of three and a half and four. I don't know. I just don't know. [01:53:34] Speaker B: Called a 3.75 because we've been talking [01:53:36] Speaker A: about the flaws so much. Now. Now there's doubt in my head, the floor. Because stock Chicago. There's some stuff I wrote. Stock Chicago. Opening muscles has no payoff. Buying drugs. Standard stuff. Yeah, I'm going. I'm going with three and a half. [01:53:59] Speaker C: I think you're afraid that, that any kind of poor review is going to make its way back to Kamal Nanjiani and you're inflating grades, so to speak, like a professor would inflate a grade. Because I don't. I, I don't think you could give it that high of A rating. And I, and, and you saying you're objective. I don't think you can be objective. I certainly can't be. We've had the great Beth Stelling in here, right? Who's come back and led. Lent her brilliance back to her launching pad and where she started. And for that I give her all the credit in the world. Good people, right? Kumail Nanjiani owes a debt to the Lincoln Lodge, I feel, and that debt has not been paid. I feel like he needs to lend his self to this place to lift the boat. And he's not done that. And until he does that, I can't. I can't. I can't see anything but that. That's all I can see when I watch. This is a man who made good, congratulations, has done some good work, recognized. But until you come back here and you walk these planks again, I hate you. And I don't. I can't. I don't know if this is good or bad. I'm just going to say it's bad because. [01:55:24] Speaker A: Kind of like hating your own child. Considering you made his career. [01:55:29] Speaker C: Yeah, I. In some ways, yeah. I, you know, would like to mention a special thanks at the end in the credits, as should you if. I hope you were looking. I didn't see anything. [01:55:37] Speaker A: Well, I looked. I looked. I did look at the special thanks because I saw Jared Logan's name. [01:55:41] Speaker C: He wasn't there. Yeah, I didn't see any special thanks. Who did he thank? [01:55:45] Speaker A: Just a bunch of non entity. I don't know who they are. Probably like agents and managers and whatever. [01:55:52] Speaker C: You don't seem that upset about or miffed by it. [01:55:55] Speaker A: I'm over it now. [01:55:56] Speaker C: I feel like he owes. Owes a debt here and he can tell me to off. [01:56:00] Speaker A: But I've been goaded. I've been chided. I've been everything about. [01:56:04] Speaker C: Just know that when. When I make it big, I'm gonna be back here every. Every weekend if you'll have me. And know. [01:56:15] Speaker A: I don't know. Are you any good? [01:56:18] Speaker C: Some say. [01:56:20] Speaker A: Some say. [01:56:20] Speaker C: Some say I invented the genre. [01:56:22] Speaker B: He's got the head shots to prove it. [01:56:23] Speaker C: I got head shots here. I've been booked all over the country, from coast to coast. [01:56:30] Speaker A: You look like a lesbian in that one. [01:56:31] Speaker C: I do? Yeah, it's weird. [01:56:34] Speaker A: Lesbian haircut. [01:56:35] Speaker B: And you don't even have your lesbian glasses on. [01:56:37] Speaker C: Yeah, I've performed Seattle from Portland, Oregon to Portland, Maine, and everywhere in between. [01:56:44] Speaker B: Like Johnny Cash. [01:56:45] Speaker C: Yeah, that's right. Johnny Paycheck. Anyway, so I'm gonna give. I'm gonna give Kamal. I'm gonna give him half a Nanjiani just for. For the black eyes and the black hair. [01:57:07] Speaker A: Just. [01:57:07] Speaker B: Just a half. [01:57:08] Speaker C: That's a half a non jam. [01:57:10] Speaker A: Wow. [01:57:10] Speaker B: Is that your lowest grade yet? [01:57:12] Speaker C: No, I gave Goldstein some other zeros, I think. [01:57:15] Speaker A: Yeah, Goldstein is. [01:57:16] Speaker C: It is personal. He's got my Billy Joel CD didn't recognize. [01:57:21] Speaker A: It's the Billy Joel CD didn't recognize. [01:57:23] Speaker C: But I want that chair. [01:57:24] Speaker A: What if he just said thanks for the Billy Joel cd, Bill o'. Donnell. If he just acknowledged perfect school. [01:57:32] Speaker C: He just acknowledges the red line, the fact that I started his career, the CD. Any. Any kind of acknowledgment of me that's getting 5 non. Gianni, be my favorite comedian. [01:57:44] Speaker A: Okay? I'm gonna text him the link to this review. [01:57:48] Speaker C: Go ahead. [01:57:49] Speaker A: Be ready for the storm. [01:57:50] Speaker C: Go ahead. I'll have Monty with me when he shows up to pick his bones. See how he likes a thumb in his. All right, gong us out of here. [01:58:07] Speaker B: No, no, no, we're not. [01:58:08] Speaker A: We're playing two next. [01:58:10] Speaker B: No, because we haven't watched the war. [01:58:12] Speaker C: No, no, no. [01:58:13] Speaker A: We're playing two next week. [01:58:14] Speaker C: But don't tell the people we're playing two. They don't. I think we show up here every week. [01:58:19] Speaker A: All right. Yeah. [01:58:19] Speaker C: Which we do. [01:58:20] Speaker A: Sorry, I totally forgot. We're not playing two. Sorry. [01:58:23] Speaker B: We're not. We would never do. So. Something like that. [01:58:26] Speaker A: All right. Next week again. I. I'm. I'm. I'm writing. The ship I'm staring is on a DEI course. [01:58:35] Speaker B: Thank God you're here. [01:58:36] Speaker A: Yeah, thank God I'm here. And we're going. [01:58:38] Speaker C: Joe. Affirmative action here. [01:58:39] Speaker A: We're going for Dina Hashem's 2024 Dark Little Whispers. We're staying in the dark, Dean. [01:58:48] Speaker C: Spell it for the people at home. [01:58:50] Speaker A: D I N A H A S H E M. Dina Hashem. [01:58:56] Speaker B: What's it called? [01:58:57] Speaker A: Dark Little Whispers. Now, you have to be careful with this, because when you go into your NSFW Roku. No, when you go to your Roku In Search, it's gonna take you to Amazon. But it's free. It's free where? [01:59:16] Speaker C: If you have Prime. [01:59:17] Speaker B: Oh, it's on Amazon. [01:59:18] Speaker A: No, no, it's free on Amazon. [01:59:20] Speaker B: Done. Okay. [01:59:21] Speaker C: I don't get it. [01:59:22] Speaker A: Don't be signing up for Prime. It's not. [01:59:25] Speaker C: Do you have Prime? You must. [01:59:26] Speaker A: No, I don't. [01:59:27] Speaker C: You get the. You pay for shipping on Amazon. [01:59:29] Speaker A: I don't buy anything on Amazon, so I don't really. [01:59:32] Speaker B: Did you know that you don't have to pay for shipping if you have an order of over $35? [01:59:37] Speaker C: Even if you. [01:59:37] Speaker B: Somebody just told me this recently. [01:59:39] Speaker A: Now we're plugging Amazon. Great. [01:59:40] Speaker C: Yeah. No, Him. [01:59:42] Speaker A: Vaseline. [01:59:43] Speaker C: Bezos began. [01:59:45] Speaker A: And [01:59:47] Speaker C: you guys cut me off a couple times. One, I went the Vaseline. That got you onto something else. I had that Vaseline all of my buttock in my groin, and it. And it ruined my. My comforter. You can't get the Vaseline Vaseline out of a blanket. [02:00:04] Speaker B: You don't boil it. [02:00:05] Speaker C: Don't. [02:00:05] Speaker A: It's petroleum jelly. That shit is staying. [02:00:08] Speaker B: Oh, it's not going anywhere. [02:00:10] Speaker C: Wife not happy. And I also want to say wife is happy with Mark Geary and the work he did on that oven. My family and I can't thank you enough. Multiple frozen pizzas since you did that. And my wife believes in your work. She wants to see more of your work. She wants you over the house to thank you properly with a pot roast coming out of that oven. All right? So be on the lookout for that input. All right? [02:00:33] Speaker A: All right. [02:00:34] Speaker C: Hey, gong us out. No sex stories. [02:00:42] Speaker B: T shirts. Anyway, [02:00:48] Speaker A: I did hold back.