Review: We Are Miracles, Sarah Silverman

[00:00:08] Speaker A: Start telling a joke. And then he had this amazing gift where he could make it seem like the microphone was broken, so he started and tapping on it. That entire act. [00:00:19] Speaker B: That's Michael Winslow's act. [00:00:21] Speaker A: No, no, this used to do something. Yeah, but Winslow used to do a whole range of stuff. This guy had one thing that was his. [00:00:27] Speaker B: It. That was. It was a broken microphone. [00:00:29] Speaker A: Yeah. And he didn't even. [00:00:31] Speaker B: Like no other act. Nothing else? [00:00:33] Speaker A: No. He would walk on, start talking. He'd maybe get like, tell one joke and then he'd start a joke and. [00:00:43] Speaker B: Jeez, that gets old fast. [00:00:44] Speaker A: I know, but it didn't, because as soon as he came on and you know what was going to happen. [00:00:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:00:49] Speaker A: You were already laughing. [00:00:50] Speaker B: And he was popular. He was. [00:00:52] Speaker A: Yeah. Norman colleague. Like, he was on all the variety shows. And maybe. Maybe that was the bit that got him onto the telly. Maybe in the nightclub. He. He had an entire. [00:01:04] Speaker B: Okay. [00:01:05] Speaker A: You know, and that was the thing where some TV producer was like, we want that. We want like three minutes of that. [00:01:13] Speaker B: Yeah. And that's all he ever did. I'm a one Trick pony. [00:01:16] Speaker A: Yeah, I missed that in. I missed that in. Watch it. Showbiz. [00:01:21] Speaker B: What? [00:01:22] Speaker A: Just a one trick. Good. One Trick Pony. The unknown comic. We talked about him already. Like a one. Do you remember the guy who used to smoke and then do little smoke bubbles? [00:01:33] Speaker B: No. [00:01:34] Speaker A: So he would. He. Yeah, he was a Yank. Yeah. He would blow a bubble, you know, soap bubble. [00:01:40] Speaker B: Oh, soap bubble. [00:01:41] Speaker A: Like a soap bubble. And then he. He smoked, he would smoke and then he would. Had a little straw and he would fill the bubbles. And he did. In this entire act. I think Letterman discovered him. But I mean, just like, that's it, a career. [00:01:57] Speaker B: You love Letterman TV because they. They have a segment or they have like a part, like a channel within a channel where it's all that stuff. [00:02:04] Speaker A: You know, like stupid human. [00:02:06] Speaker B: Yeah, stupid human tricks, things like that. [00:02:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:02:08] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, let's. I want to hear the review of Oasis. You saw the boys? [00:02:18] Speaker C: Yeah, I started recording two minutes ago. [00:02:21] Speaker A: Yeah, they were. Yeah. Rock and roll stars. [00:02:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:02:24] Speaker A: As per the song. [00:02:25] Speaker B: It was a great show. [00:02:26] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, like, so I wouldn't have necessarily chosen to go to it because it's stadium rock, but one of my cast members really just laid it on thick that, like, I've got this ticket. You've got to go. And I've never been to a stadium show before. I've been to, like, outside venue, like, you know, where you just standing in a farmer's field. But this was a stadium rock thing. But. Yeah, it's just amazing to think, you know, whatever it was 60,000 people and they're all like, worshiping these four people on stage. You kind of get dragged along with it almost as a thing. [00:03:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:07] Speaker A: Have you ever been to stadium rock before? I bet you have, right? [00:03:10] Speaker C: Yes, of course. [00:03:12] Speaker A: Stadium. Not. Not Jesus festival. [00:03:15] Speaker C: Yeah. I've seen shows at hockey arenas, football stadiums, baseball, ballparks, I guess you'd call. [00:03:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:25] Speaker C: Saw Bruce Springsteen over at Wrigley not too long ago. That was a good one. Who else? I've seen Billy Joel there a million times. He used to come every summer. It was great. Lady Gaga. Saw her over there, huh? Yeah. Never at Soldier Field, though. I've never seen a show at Soldier Field. I've only ever been there for one football game and it was a preseason one. [00:03:50] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Soldier Field's a slog. It's getting hard there. [00:03:54] Speaker A: Getting in was all right. This is 10 minute walk, but holy shit, 60,000 people trying to leave at once. And there's one underpass to get you under Lakeshore Drive. So everyone is funneling to Butts. It's just ridiculous. [00:04:14] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't care for a stadium show. I gotta be honest. [00:04:18] Speaker A: What have you seen at the Gillette? [00:04:20] Speaker B: I saw. I saw whatever year it was when they did it. Billy Joel and Elton John together. [00:04:26] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. I missed all those. I guess that ended poorly. [00:04:30] Speaker B: It did. [00:04:31] Speaker C: Billy Joel would always do this bit in his. At his Wrigley Field acts or shows where he would start the Elton John song, your song. And when it got to the line, I don't have much money, he would kind of like stop playing in a sloppy way. You know, the keys, like. And you go, yeah. And it's kind of tired. There must have been a falling out over financial reasons. [00:04:55] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what the. I was. Imagine that they went back and forth on who. Who opens. [00:05:01] Speaker C: Right. [00:05:01] Speaker B: Right. I don't know how they did that. [00:05:02] Speaker C: Oh, I always thought that they played together. [00:05:04] Speaker B: Well, they do. Yeah. That's true. Yeah. The one comes out first and the other comes out and then they do some songs. [00:05:08] Speaker C: Oh, okay. [00:05:09] Speaker B: They don't play. [00:05:10] Speaker C: I thought, like, the whole show is just like they're both on stage and. No, I guess I. Yeah. [00:05:14] Speaker A: Why? [00:05:15] Speaker C: Then it would be like, who's. They could play the same amount of the other person's songs. [00:05:19] Speaker B: Yeah, they did do a couple songs together, I think. [00:05:21] Speaker A: Yeah. I thought it'd be like bantering, you know, it's like dueling pianos. Right? Like just of banter. [00:05:26] Speaker C: That's what I always. [00:05:26] Speaker A: Then he plays one. [00:05:28] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what I always pictured it as. [00:05:30] Speaker B: Yeah. But I don't haven't seen many football stadium shows. Seen a lot of Wrigley shows. But this revival tour that you went to, is this. They're back now or this is a one off or one tour. [00:05:43] Speaker A: I know. I mean, obviously, as soon as they announced, everyone's like, now they're gonna kill each other. By the third. You know, by the end of the. I mean, they did. This is staggering to me. I looked it up like they did seven shots, seven sold out Wembley shows to 90,000 people. So they played to 630,000 people in a week. [00:06:04] Speaker B: Probably a lot of the same people. [00:06:06] Speaker A: I don't know. No, because I think because of how the ticketing. Well, I mean, obviously there'd be expensive tickets that rich could fall, but I don't know. That's just staggering. But, yeah, I mean, it was. It was definitely something. Would I pick a stadium show? Probably not. [00:06:21] Speaker B: You know, I didn't realize they were that big. As big as they are. Right. What do they have, four or five hits? [00:06:29] Speaker A: No. I mean, in England they're like gods, but I think in America they didn't really try to conquer here was the whole thing. [00:06:35] Speaker C: Yeah. You have to be basically like every musician I know loves them, you know, but really every. Just regular, you know, somebody that doesn't really play music or doesn't. Hasn't really gotten that much into it, could take them or leave them, but. [00:06:46] Speaker A: But I mean, their songs have infection you like. [00:06:50] Speaker C: I remember everybody knows the hits. [00:06:52] Speaker A: I mean, apart from, you know, Wonder Woman, like their first three albums. You just listen to them and liked them immediately. Even if you like the band already or didn't, you know, Definitely. Maybe. I remember when it came out and everyone just bought it because there'd been all this hype and you just like the album straight away and that's like a rarity. I think I saw a quote from Noel Gallagher yesterday. He said, basically we were a punk band with Beetle Melodies. So we had. And if you think about. Because I couldn't. What I thought is every concert I go to now, it's just. It's just all old farts. It's me, you know, repeated. Right. Oasis was all over the place. And I think their songs are so catchy and so infectious that the reason it's massive is there's been. Even though they haven't done anything. What was it, 2009? Yeah. [00:07:48] Speaker C: There's been a long time. [00:07:49] Speaker B: There's no new album, right? [00:07:50] Speaker A: No, no, no. 2009 is when the shit hit the fan where they just split up. So let's say. How many years is that? That's sex. Sixteen or whatever. But all of these kids, you know, kids that are into music are gonna backtrack. [00:08:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:06] Speaker A: And they're gonna go all the Oasis. I've heard, you know, I've heard all the shit. Let's listen to it. And they're gonna like it. [00:08:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:08:14] Speaker A: So they're building a following constantly, by the nature of the music just being good. [00:08:20] Speaker B: When we got into old music, it was either from the radio or combing through the. The stacks at a record store and just trying to stuff. Right. Because we had to find it in a way. But these guys, they. They'll catch it on social media. An artist that they'd never heard of, and they'll hear their one song and then they're, you know, then they get a. They get a renaissance or a revival. The same thing is happening with Radiohead. I think this generation is picking up on Radiohead now. Radiohead's going back on tour for their first time in however many years, right? [00:08:51] Speaker A: Yeah. I think when. If you were our age, to get into an older band, you would have to have a physical medium of it, Right. You had to have an album or a cassette. Now. Now you've got a phone and you just listen to it. [00:09:03] Speaker B: That too. [00:09:04] Speaker C: Their whole catalog. [00:09:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:05] Speaker C: If you have $10 a month for Spotify, you've got every song any artist ever made, you know, and you heard of this artist for the first time, you can go listen to all of their material. [00:09:15] Speaker A: I keep doing things where I hear something. I have satellite radio. Here's something played. [00:09:20] Speaker B: Wait a minute. You have satellite radio? [00:09:21] Speaker A: Yeah, I've had it for decades. [00:09:23] Speaker B: You cry poor in many ways on this show about how you can't afford Netflix and you can't afford HBO Max, which is. I want to watch this one for today. But. But you have satellite radio. That's very expired. I can't afford satellite radio. [00:09:38] Speaker A: I hats to have satellite. [00:09:39] Speaker B: Right. [00:09:41] Speaker A: Because I was doing three hours of commute every day up to the North Shore, and I. I would have just shot myself in the head if I had to listen to one more fucking minute of commercial radio. And you. And you can only. That's. That's when I had the mini disc player. That wasn't. That was an attempt to like, Okay, I need to build compilations fast, right? Because. Yeah. You, you build a really good comp and you think, oh, this is the compilation. I'm going to keep listening. [00:10:09] Speaker B: What do you mean you're making music discs or compilations on the mini disc? [00:10:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:14] Speaker B: You're recording them in the car off the radio? [00:10:16] Speaker A: No, no, I'm recording them at home. And then I got. [00:10:19] Speaker B: Okay. [00:10:20] Speaker A: And it's like, you know, you think, oh, this compilation is so good, I'm going to be listening to it for weeks. But you've exhausted it within seven days just listening to it. So I couldn't do any more compilations. It's just exhausting. I can't listen to commercial radio. It's awful. I can't listen to books on tape. I don't like people talking. So satellite radio was just like, no DJs, no adverts, 87 channels. [00:10:51] Speaker B: Pick the music you want. [00:10:52] Speaker A: Yeah. No brainer. [00:10:54] Speaker B: But now you don't need it because you just plug in your phone and listen to Spotify. Isn't that the same thing you're talking about? [00:10:58] Speaker A: I think I'm the only person who doesn't listen to Spotify. [00:11:01] Speaker B: No, I don't listen to it. I don't. [00:11:03] Speaker A: No, I don't listen to Spotify. Still got ads on it. [00:11:06] Speaker B: Hey, do you still have a mini disc player that works? [00:11:08] Speaker A: No, they all broke. [00:11:09] Speaker B: None of you have one that works? I have all these mini discs I want to listen to. All my acts are on mini disk from the year 1999 to 2002. Everything's recorded on mini disc and it's not like a track. Nobody even knows about mini disc unless you know, you live during that time. Right. Those three years when it was the shit. [00:11:31] Speaker A: I. I think I had my. I had too many discs that I bought. You gave me your old one. I did, and Lola gave me his. And one by one they broke. [00:11:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:44] Speaker A: Until in the end it was just like. Nah. And I think I ended up ebaying all four players and all the discs just to get the things out of the house. [00:11:56] Speaker B: Somebody bought the broken pliers. [00:11:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I was just. Yeah. Cuz there's always some kid somewhere it can. [00:12:01] Speaker B: Yeah, we got to get one fixed, right? [00:12:05] Speaker C: I don't know, is there like a. [00:12:07] Speaker B: A VCR repairman shop? You know, like you're walking down the street and you'll see this guy's repairing VCRs and DVDs. [00:12:14] Speaker A: Well, that's all YouTube now, isn't it? [00:12:17] Speaker B: All right. Since we're talking about the British, as we always are, really, they're gobs and knobs. And I was thinking as soon as the show's over, as you know, it's the day I make love to my wife. So on the way here, you switched. [00:12:32] Speaker C: That to Wednesdays too? [00:12:33] Speaker B: Well, Monday and Wednesday. [00:12:34] Speaker C: Now Monday and Wednesday. [00:12:35] Speaker B: Wow. Yeah. [00:12:37] Speaker A: Mr. Big Day. [00:12:37] Speaker B: But I couldn't on Monday because it was a federal holiday and my children were home. So the government. Yeah. Gonna have to give her a couple extra throws today. [00:12:48] Speaker A: His $5 go down the shop. Kids. [00:12:50] Speaker B: Yeah, right. And I was thinking, I was gonna say on the show, I'm gonna snog her, but I don't think that's right. What does it mean to snog? [00:13:00] Speaker A: Just, it's like kissing, but, you know, like sloppy teenage snogging. Kissing. Yeah. [00:13:07] Speaker B: Snooker her. What does that mean? I'm gonna snooker. Snooker doesn't mean anything. [00:13:16] Speaker A: My Silverman notes are in the office. [00:13:19] Speaker B: All right, we'll. We'll filibuster while you're. Yeah, we can read very important notes. [00:13:24] Speaker C: Read passages out of the file. [00:13:26] Speaker A: Don't look at the profanosaurus, though. [00:13:28] Speaker B: All right, when Mark returns to the studio, we're going to have a new segment on the show where. Christian, have you heard about this? [00:13:35] Speaker C: No, what is it? [00:13:36] Speaker B: He's going to. I think he's going to quiz me. So history on this is. And it's fitting because we're doing Sarah Silverman today. And she's a filthy, filthy mouth. [00:13:45] Speaker C: She's dirty. [00:13:46] Speaker B: Yeah. Very, very dirty. I, in my short lived stand up career was a very filthy comic. And Mark, recognizing that, used to give me these little pamphlets called the Profanosaurus. [00:14:04] Speaker C: Okay. [00:14:05] Speaker B: And it comes from this British rag. I don't know, it's like British Mad magazine. [00:14:09] Speaker C: Sure. [00:14:09] Speaker B: And so they had all these terms in there, you know, dirty, filthy terms like up on blocks. [00:14:17] Speaker C: What does up on blocks mean? [00:14:18] Speaker B: Well, up on blocks in British parlance means a woman is having her menstrual cycle. She was having her period. Right. So you'd say, my old lady's up on blocks. And I would. So I would take things from this profanosaurus and I would, you know, people over here had never heard these terms before and I would say, yeah, my old lady's up on blocks. And people would be like, what's he saying? Only Mark knew what it meant because it's, you know, British parlance. So I infused a lot of these terms into my act. So I haven't looked at this in years. Mark has dug up the newer editions of the Profanosaurus and I believe you're going to test you test me to see if I know what any of these do. [00:14:58] Speaker C: You remember the material? [00:14:59] Speaker B: Well, I don't think these are old terms. Right. These are new. [00:15:02] Speaker C: So you'll be guessing is what they mean. [00:15:04] Speaker B: I'll be guessing based on. [00:15:05] Speaker C: Oh, all right. [00:15:06] Speaker B: It's like trying to decode with Latin phrases based on their roots or whatever root words. [00:15:12] Speaker C: This should be good. [00:15:13] Speaker A: Here we go then. [00:15:14] Speaker B: All right, then. Here we go. [00:15:15] Speaker A: So what is the Cloverfield maneuver? [00:15:20] Speaker B: You choose this because of T.J. miller? [00:15:22] Speaker A: No. [00:15:23] Speaker B: Does it have to do with the film Cloverfield? [00:15:25] Speaker A: Yeah, it does. [00:15:27] Speaker B: Well, I never saw that piece of shit, so I don't know. [00:15:31] Speaker A: Guess what? It might. [00:15:32] Speaker B: Cloverfield maneuver is Cloverfield his idea. [00:15:36] Speaker A: If Bill o' Donnell was to employ the Cloverfield maneuver this afternoon. [00:15:39] Speaker B: It's a sexual maneuver where the man takes the woman from behind and reaches around and pulls on her clover field, also known as her pubic region. [00:15:53] Speaker A: Completely wrong. Taken from the long limbed, gangly creature in the 2008 film of the same name. The unusual posture required to perform teabagging on a close friend while parked up in the car. [00:16:09] Speaker C: How specific? [00:16:11] Speaker B: Teabagging a close friend. What does it have to do with the car? You're also in the car. [00:16:15] Speaker C: You have to be in the car for this. [00:16:16] Speaker B: Teabagging a close friend. [00:16:17] Speaker A: I think you have to see Clover. You're gonna have to go see Cloverfield. [00:16:21] Speaker C: That was the movie with the giant monster. Right. That was going through New York City. [00:16:24] Speaker B: Yep. [00:16:25] Speaker A: With huge limbs, sort of moves, I guess. [00:16:29] Speaker C: Cause the roof, you know, the car. The roof of the car, you gotta, like, fit yourself in between that and the head, like the headrest part of the chair. [00:16:37] Speaker A: I don't think Americans have as much car sex because we have apartments. Yeah, exactly. Like the wealth. The wealth of the nation. [00:16:47] Speaker B: Really? You think that's what it is? [00:16:48] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. In England, car sex was huge because. [00:16:51] Speaker B: You'Re all living in flat. [00:16:52] Speaker A: Yeah. You're like living in, you know, close quarters. Yeah. And so, you know, teenagers who wanted that intimacy would have to get in the car and go to the thing anyway. And that wasn't even close, was it? [00:17:07] Speaker B: Maybe if I'd seen Clover. [00:17:09] Speaker C: Bring your A game bell. Come on. [00:17:10] Speaker A: Cloverfield. [00:17:11] Speaker B: Clover Feld. [00:17:13] Speaker A: That's a good film. [00:17:14] Speaker B: Is it? [00:17:15] Speaker A: TJ's actually. He's barely in it because he's the kid holding the camera, so you only hear his voice. [00:17:22] Speaker B: Oh, it's like Blair Witch for yeah, but it's shot. [00:17:26] Speaker A: It's a POV of a camera. But poor old TJ has To move. He's the one holding it, so you just hear him. All right, what does this mean? Who lit the fuse on his. Slash her tampon? I'll give you an easy one. [00:17:42] Speaker B: This is a question. Wait, are you asking me? Are you asking. [00:17:45] Speaker A: Why would you say the phrase. Well, what is. [00:17:47] Speaker B: What is putting it in context now? [00:17:49] Speaker C: It's like. [00:17:49] Speaker B: Like sats for filthy mouth people. [00:17:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:54] Speaker B: Say it again, please. [00:17:55] Speaker A: Repeat the fuse on his hero tampon. [00:18:01] Speaker B: Who? His or her? Well, that's confusing because a man doesn't use a tampon. [00:18:05] Speaker C: Oh. [00:18:06] Speaker B: What it means is, why do you have a hair across your ass? Or something? Like why? What's got you pissed off? [00:18:13] Speaker A: Exactly. Yeah, yeah. [00:18:17] Speaker B: Yeah. Who put a hair across your ass? [00:18:21] Speaker A: That's an easy one. So let's. Let's up. Let's up the ante again because I think you were gonna get that one. Hair across your ass. [00:18:28] Speaker B: You never heard that one? [00:18:28] Speaker A: No. [00:18:29] Speaker C: I thought it was hair up your ass. [00:18:33] Speaker B: No, there's something. Who. No, stick up your ass. Stick hair across your ass. [00:18:38] Speaker C: Hair up your ass. No, I've heard hair up your ass. He's got a hair up his ass. [00:18:44] Speaker A: Hair. As in a rabbit or. [00:18:46] Speaker C: No, no, like a hair. I always figured, you know, like, it means. Then you have an itchy butt and, you know, you're irritable. [00:18:53] Speaker B: Maybe you're confusing it with Khalil's act where you put a foot up a woman's ass. [00:18:59] Speaker C: Oh, maybe that's it. [00:19:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:00] Speaker B: Khalil perform here at all. Okay, keep it going. Let's go. I said this is operating. [00:19:08] Speaker A: What does it mean if you have a monkey stuck in the lift? [00:19:17] Speaker B: Will, a lift is a car. Yeah. [00:19:20] Speaker C: No. What's a lift? [00:19:22] Speaker B: What? [00:19:23] Speaker C: You got to brush up on your British isms. [00:19:24] Speaker B: I know I should. A lift. [00:19:26] Speaker A: Don't focus on the lift. I've got a monkey stuck in the. [00:19:29] Speaker B: Lift like I needed. [00:19:31] Speaker C: The monkey's the important part here. [00:19:33] Speaker B: Well, just tell me what a lift is. [00:19:34] Speaker A: A lift's an elevator. [00:19:35] Speaker B: Oh, right, right, right, right. I knew that. You got a monkey stuck in your lift. You're constipated. [00:19:48] Speaker A: Warmer. [00:19:49] Speaker B: Warmer. You've got a hemorrhoid. [00:19:51] Speaker A: No, it's the feeling in your guts of an imminent brown trout that urgently needs to be sent to the beach. [00:19:59] Speaker B: Brown trout. [00:20:02] Speaker C: I know. [00:20:03] Speaker B: Seriously, even the definitions have. Are loaded with onion dirty mechanisms. A brown trout. [00:20:10] Speaker A: Yeah. We'll end on this one. I could go all day. [00:20:14] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree. [00:20:15] Speaker A: And we're 25 minutes in and we still haven't got there all right, what is an Irish Taser? Could go anyway. [00:20:29] Speaker B: Irish Taser. It's when you. It's in other words, whiskey dick. When you can't get it up because you've drank too much like the Irish do, and you're just dangling your limp penis on a woman and not satisfying her. Irish Taser. Final answer. [00:20:50] Speaker A: That's a. That's telling. Nowhere near. [00:20:53] Speaker B: You got it. Nowhere near. [00:20:55] Speaker A: Come on, then, you patties. What's an Irish Taser? [00:20:58] Speaker C: Irish Taser. I don't know. I was. I was still going over to my head when Bill gave his answer, and I thought that was pretty damn good. [00:21:04] Speaker B: Yeah, I thought it was good, but. [00:21:06] Speaker C: I know it's not. It's not correct. So an Irish Taser, I don't know. Like what? [00:21:12] Speaker B: It's got something to do with booze. [00:21:14] Speaker C: It has to. Well, the booze or are being lesser than being that. [00:21:19] Speaker A: They're. [00:21:20] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, you gotta realize where it's coming from. [00:21:23] Speaker C: What's a weak Taser? Now, Am I. Am I on the wrong path here? [00:21:31] Speaker A: Well, I think you're on the right path. [00:21:38] Speaker C: Well, what can shock you, but not as well as a Taser. [00:21:43] Speaker B: It might not even mean taser. Like, we know it as like a police Taser. It could be something else. [00:21:48] Speaker C: Oh. The first thing I was thinking was, like, what do you call it? Buzz your hair with clippers? Yeah, something like clippers. But, I mean, I can tell already. [00:21:58] Speaker A: That we're not getting it. [00:21:59] Speaker B: I got one. [00:22:00] Speaker A: It's a shovel forcibly bought into contact with the back of the head. [00:22:05] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:22:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:07] Speaker B: Okay. So, like, the Irish would forego, like a, you know, a zapping device. They just hit you in the back of the head with a shovel. [00:22:14] Speaker A: Yep. [00:22:14] Speaker B: Yeah. Irish Taser. That's good. These are great. These are great. [00:22:19] Speaker A: Do you want to do one? [00:22:20] Speaker B: One more? One more. [00:22:21] Speaker A: All right, let me find that good one, because you might. Oh, no. I don't know if you notice. Okay, what is a. You might get this one. I'm appearing to the cinephile in you. What is a Kaiser Soze shit? [00:22:39] Speaker B: Well, that's easy. Kaiser Soze, obviously. The mysterious figure from the film the Usual Suspects. I think he has. He disappears. It's. It's a ghost shit. It's a shit. You take a dump and it's gone. God. [00:22:52] Speaker A: How did you get that? [00:22:53] Speaker C: Yeah, I would have gone. Yeah, because, I mean, they say in the movie, like, poof, he's gone and. [00:22:58] Speaker A: Like that he was gone. It's when you look in the pan on the Toilet. Like, I swear I just did a shit. [00:23:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:04] Speaker A: And it's not there now. [00:23:05] Speaker C: You know, I've been hearing about this my whole life. [00:23:07] Speaker B: Two by four. Not bad. [00:23:08] Speaker C: That is. Not that. Never. That doesn't happen. [00:23:10] Speaker B: What, a ghost ship? [00:23:11] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:23:12] Speaker B: Oh, I have it happen all the time. [00:23:13] Speaker C: What are you talking about? [00:23:14] Speaker B: What do you mean? Like how you haven't had one disappear? [00:23:17] Speaker C: No. Where? [00:23:18] Speaker B: I think it has to do with. [00:23:19] Speaker A: The type of movement. [00:23:22] Speaker B: No, I think it's the weight of the turd. And if it's a dense turd, it's going to sink fast and. And get taken into the. [00:23:29] Speaker A: Any scientists out there? Right, right into. [00:23:33] Speaker B: If Neil degrass Tyson is listening, would you call into the Lincoln Lodge house phone, please, right now? [00:23:42] Speaker A: Oh, dear. [00:23:44] Speaker B: That was fun. I make that a regular segment. Season two. [00:23:48] Speaker A: Let's make this the entire podcast. [00:23:52] Speaker C: Rebranded. [00:23:52] Speaker B: Better? I don't know. Well, while you were out fetching your notes, I said to Christian that was apropos to do this today because we're talking about Sarah Silverman, who is. I didn't remember, hadn't seen her act in a long time. One of the filthiest comics probably working today. [00:24:12] Speaker C: She's filthy. [00:24:14] Speaker B: You don't think she's. There's a lot who's filthier than her? [00:24:17] Speaker A: I mean like Schumer's probably filthier. [00:24:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:21] Speaker A: Dice Clay. [00:24:22] Speaker B: Yeah, Dice Clay. Yeah, he's. [00:24:27] Speaker A: I mean he's a vaudeville act. Do you feel like road comedy is filthier? [00:24:33] Speaker B: Road comedy today? I wouldn't think is. Is as filthy as it was in our heyday. Right. Because I think audiences are less tolerant. Right. This is. So we're looking at her 2013 special. We are Miracles. And Christian, you described this, I think on the last show as the one that kicked it off or something like that, like. So I thought this was gonna be like her earliest special. But I remember her from way back. Shit. I remember her walking around the 2001 Chicago Comedy Festival where she. I tried to make conversation with her and she, you know, basically fucking snubbed me. And so I think I've hated her ever since because she big time me there. [00:25:15] Speaker A: I was going to bring that up. So I was. I was responsible for the airport runs to bring people in. So I drove. [00:25:22] Speaker B: God, that Golfman had that job. [00:25:24] Speaker A: No, no, no. So the first year, I think we hadn't got them. I think the second year I sponsored the mini buses. The first year it was just me and a couple of other guys in cars and I got the Sarah Silverman Run. So she, she was in my like 15 year old Ford. [00:25:45] Speaker B: Were you driving that like Geo back then? [00:25:46] Speaker A: No, no, I had this Ford Escort with no, no goddamn AC in it. So she was not digging that. No, no, no. And so, you know, I had pretty. [00:25:56] Speaker B: Just you and her alone in the car. [00:25:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:58] Speaker B: Oh, that's amazing. That's amazing in that piece of shit. [00:26:02] Speaker A: And one of the really big lads, I want to say Ralphie May got in it and broke the exhaust. Like the exhaust bomb. But anyway, so Sarah Jarvis, Sarah Simon, blah, blah, blah. I think, I think the whole thing of her, you know, like snobbing you or whatever was because she was just, she told me she was at a wit's end with just dudes trying to like pick her up all with, you know, because she is, she is definitively. I think she's hot by general human standards. Comedy. That puts her. [00:26:41] Speaker B: Oh my God, yes. [00:26:42] Speaker A: You know. [00:26:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:43] Speaker A: So she, she washes up. I remember, remember Jason Fever. Just beeline for like. And literally, I think she took to saying my boyfriend in the first sentence of every. And I was like, that was probably one of the first times when I really kind of thought, man, being like a hot female in comedy. Just across to bear. [00:27:09] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. I mean every scene, you know, has their one or had. I'm sure it's much more now, but back then had one or two. I mean we're talking about late 90s, early 2000s when there were far fewer females. [00:27:22] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:27:23] Speaker B: Doing stand up comedy. So if you came around and you know, what's the expression where it's like she's a. An LA6 but a Cleveland 9 or whatever, you know, like in Cleveland she'd be a lot hotter than in la. Like same, the same spectrum for comedy. You could be a, you know, an unattractive woman plus. But if you come around the comedy scene, it's like a woman in prison, right? Like, yeah, you know, like they start flinging, come at you like in silence of the lamps. [00:27:52] Speaker A: I mean it's, you know, because most, most of the comedians were dudes and they were comedians so they no social grace. Mostly didn't have a girlfriend, wife. Anyway because of who they are. It's just a nightmare. [00:28:12] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And most comedians are just inept with women as well. I mean for the most part. [00:28:17] Speaker A: So, so yeah, I could understand how that weekend must have been hell for us. But starting off in a. A 20 year old Ford Escort with no AC. [00:28:28] Speaker B: Yeah. So what would you remember any of the small talk? [00:28:32] Speaker A: I think I had kind Of a scream. [00:28:34] Speaker B: Were you nervous because she was an attractive woman? You were with Heather at the time. [00:28:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:38] Speaker B: So you weren't trying to score? [00:28:39] Speaker A: No, I wasn't trying to score. I think I was just nervous that because it's. None of these people that were coming in were famous, like. Well, yeah, they were relatively fat, you know, to us as comedians. Oh, wow. That person has a TV credit. But they weren't mega stars. [00:28:59] Speaker B: So where was she back at this point? Because the special we watched was 2013. This is 13 years before the story. [00:29:05] Speaker A: 99, 98. This is. [00:29:09] Speaker B: When you picked her up. That was 2000. 2001. Whatever. It doesn't matter about it. What had she done at that point? Right. She had been a writer or had she been on Saturday Night Live as a featured player? I don't know her history, but we all knew her. [00:29:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:25] Speaker B: Comedians. We all knew her. So she must have been on something. She must have been on. [00:29:28] Speaker A: I think that was the festival. It was her. It was Patton, Oswald, Marin. [00:29:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:36] Speaker A: That's a whole episode. So there was a lot of like. Like alt gods. [00:29:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:44] Speaker A: For the scum of Chicago to fawn over. Right? [00:29:47] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. And we had no idea at that point. Like, these, you know, looking back, they're all gods, but they were just, you know. Yeah, they were sleazeballs like us, you know. [00:29:56] Speaker A: Yeah. They weren't that far ahead. [00:29:58] Speaker B: No. No. Well, here we are in 2013. She's doing this, which she mentions many times, HBO special at the Largo. Now, have you been to Largo? You must have been there. [00:30:12] Speaker A: No. You know what? I think I saw Found film footage festival there, but I don't think I've ever seen a comedian. Is it like it just in some nondescript strip mall in la? [00:30:25] Speaker B: I don't know. Christian, have you been to Largo? [00:30:27] Speaker C: No, I haven't. [00:30:29] Speaker B: No, I've never been. I feel like I've seen. Seen specials where it's shot there, but it didn't look anything like what we saw with this special. This special looked like it was at the. The Red lion, you know, tight, tiny. [00:30:41] Speaker A: Well, she says, doesn't she? [00:30:43] Speaker B: Yeah, it's only 30. Yeah, 39 people. I pictured the stage at Largo much bigger. But, yeah, it was. It was. I don't know that we've watched a special. Maybe Bamford's. Hers was pretty small, where it's that intimate. And the. The laughter that you hear feels like the laughter or the amount of people at an open mic or something. Right. Like, it's a smattering OF LAUGHTER which is odd when you watch a. You know, a special. Right. To hear that kind of. [00:31:15] Speaker A: I know, I mean. [00:31:16] Speaker B: Response. Right. [00:31:17] Speaker A: Stuart Lee has a couple of specials and they're in even probably in smaller. [00:31:21] Speaker B: Well, the one we watched was huge. [00:31:23] Speaker A: Yeah. No, no, but he. Before that, he would record him at Edinburgh. [00:31:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Is there. Do you think that matters? I mean, in terms of, like, you watch a Nate Bargazzi, Madison Square Garden or wherever he did his versus Sarah Silverman with 39 people. Does that make a special different. I mean, in terms of like, it's not as good because you're not hearing that rot, that rousing laughter. [00:31:49] Speaker A: I don't think it matters at all. I have this with comedians all the time where they want to record. They're like, oh, the room needs to be Ramo. It's like, no, what's that mean? [00:31:58] Speaker B: Ramod. [00:31:59] Speaker A: You know, just packed with people and like, if, if, if it isn't waves of laughter. Deafening. [00:32:07] Speaker B: Right. [00:32:07] Speaker A: They think, oh, it's not good. And it's like, no, you twat. Like, they're listening. People at home aren't going, oh, they're laughing there, therefore I am laughing. [00:32:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:17] Speaker A: They're listening to the words fall out of your mouth. So it's not relevant. I mean, it is relevant. [00:32:25] Speaker B: Like people need to be told what's funny. [00:32:27] Speaker A: They. [00:32:28] Speaker B: Right. [00:32:28] Speaker A: You do need something. You just don't. The average stadium. [00:32:32] Speaker B: Yeah, but I. But my point being is that in such a small space with so few people and you have. I don't want to say she's a cringe comic, but she's a filthy comic who gets that kind of back of the room response. Right. A lot of the times where it's like people not. Not either wanting to laugh at certain things or. And it just. That was remarkable in all the specials we've watched for this one. And be like, this feels like a, you know, like me listening to, you know, one of my sets from an open mic, you know, like you, like. Or minute on minidisc where you, like, you think you did really well and it's like you're not hearing a lot of response. You know what I mean? [00:33:11] Speaker A: Yeah. I think the risk with a small audience is you get the groan. You get the person who shouts out is gonna make it to your tape. [00:33:21] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah, yeah. She's. Well, I don't see. It's hard for me to even be objective because she snubbed me back in 2000 and I've hated her ever since. [00:33:36] Speaker A: We say snubbed. [00:33:37] Speaker B: Well, I went up. We were at the. It was at the after party. There was the end of the festival party. Remember? Where was that? It was like in. Somewhere in Piper's alley, I think. [00:33:45] Speaker A: Is that the one where Olson got shit faced, Sharpied on Marin's T shirt? [00:33:50] Speaker B: Probably. I don't remember him doing that. [00:33:52] Speaker A: But yeah he did. [00:33:56] Speaker B: And I, I don't know. I went up and tried to like talk to her and she just you know like that don't even, you know, like cold, cold snub. So it's hard you know when somebody. When you don't like somebody early on as a performer it's kind of like them. They can do never, never win themselves back in your eyes. Right. So I think I've hated. [00:34:18] Speaker A: I'm the opposite to that really. I can totally separate the performer from the person. [00:34:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:25] Speaker A: Oh yeah. Two of the biggest wankers I know I laugh at and some of the people I. [00:34:31] Speaker B: Who are those wankers? [00:34:33] Speaker A: No, I'm not going to say. Am I? [00:34:36] Speaker B: Makes for more interesting radio when you. [00:34:39] Speaker C: Throw the hot gossip. [00:34:41] Speaker B: When you throw people under the bus. [00:34:43] Speaker A: And a lot of the nicest people in comedy are not funny at all. [00:34:47] Speaker B: Yeah. Like who? [00:34:49] Speaker C: Say their names. [00:34:50] Speaker B: Say their names. People want to hear their names. Right? [00:34:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:55] Speaker B: Hannibal Baress. Maybe you would say he's enough. I'm kidding. [00:34:59] Speaker A: Hannibal's very reserved. You don't really know what Hannibal's thinking. [00:35:03] Speaker B: Now he's talking this. Her act is different to me too in that like every joke is almost kind of disconnected from the one before it. Right. It's like there's no. There's. You like to say the word. There's no through line. Right. That there's some callback. But there's no like it doesn't roll from one story. It's just boom, boom. And. And the jokes aren't even necessarily jokes there. Like I've never flowed and when I say flow I'm talking about taking notes. That's debate talk for flowing debate. I was the. I think I've mentioned many times I was the third ranked debater in the state of Massachusetts. [00:35:52] Speaker A: You were a champion 1992 champion Mass debater. [00:35:58] Speaker B: Mass. Massachusetts debater. Mass debater. Third in the state. Lincoln Douglas, 1992. [00:36:05] Speaker A: Did the whole team have Mass debaters? If you didn't have those on a T shirt we should have. [00:36:11] Speaker B: I don't even think we need to. [00:36:12] Speaker A: Time walk back and have a. With yourself. [00:36:14] Speaker B: I don't think the coach back then would let us walk around with those. You know the faculty coach Were you teenagers? Yes. [00:36:21] Speaker A: Were you waiting for permission as teenagers? [00:36:24] Speaker B: We didn't have the wherewithal to make T shirts back there. [00:36:26] Speaker A: Nerds. [00:36:28] Speaker B: This is the early 90s we're talking about. But I don't. It looks so much different on my note sheet than any other comedian we've looked at. It's just quotes thrown under the bus. Quit being cunty. Middle aged. I can't. Middle aged. Peach tree. No, middle aged period. I can't read. [00:36:51] Speaker C: Peach tree dish and a peach tree dish. [00:36:53] Speaker B: Yeah, I had an eyebrow. 911 widows give great hand jobs. Mother motorboated. It's just she's. And I get it because Profanosaurus, certain comedians, their act is built around these phrases that they've got to get to the audience. Right. Like these filthy phrases. It's a lot of what I was trying to build my act on was just let me give you some filthy phrases that maybe you haven't heard or maybe just you wouldn't say out loud because they're so filthy. That's what her act seems to be like. Let me get to this phrase that I can give you and then I'm going to get to the next phrase that I'm going to give you. And everything else is just loose connective tissue to that. But there's no depth really, to any of it. You don't really get to know her on any level. Right. Like, there's no identity there for her. [00:37:48] Speaker A: It's a throwback to joke teller in a way. [00:37:52] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:37:52] Speaker B: Catskills joke teller in a. In a. [00:37:55] Speaker A: In a def. [00:37:56] Speaker B: Newer way. [00:37:57] Speaker A: Yeah. Like the alt queen. But it's a proper. It's a. It's kind of funny because I've been having this mass debate about. [00:38:07] Speaker C: Is that a callback? [00:38:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm really, really, really tired of identity comedy at this point. As soon as someone references their identity, I switch off. And she did some identity stuff up front, but really her. Her entire identity is shocking. Shocking. Shocking. [00:38:27] Speaker B: Yes. [00:38:28] Speaker A: Which she doesn't really. She's not like saying, oh, I'm this, I'm that, I'm a female, blah, blah, blah. She's just shocking. And it. Funny thing is I found it hard to get into the special because of that. [00:38:39] Speaker B: Because of what? [00:38:41] Speaker A: Because they've not having the through. [00:38:43] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:38:45] Speaker A: Because it just felt like joke A, joke B, joke C. And that's weird because I thought that's what I wanted out of comedians now. [00:38:55] Speaker B: But you were missing the identity, right? Or the. [00:38:59] Speaker A: Not so much the identity, but just like that whole like, hey, I'M just come up on here to talk to you. [00:39:04] Speaker B: Well, I think what you're talking about now, and it seems I don't watch a lot of current stand up comedy, but that's not identity that we're seeing now. It's more. Let me just tell you my life story without any jokes, right? And go talk about my dad, my mom, and there's no jokes there. And it's, it's all like a personal history or something that nobody wants to hear. But what I meant by identity is you get a sense of who this person is, right. Who they really are. Right, right. Whether it's, whether it's fabricated or whatever. Bert Haas gave me some great advice after I tanked an audition at the Zany. Like you, you have some jokes, some funny things, he said. But like, who are you? Who are you? Like, what is your character? Who is. I was like, I don't know. And I'm just, I was just trying to say like filthy things, you know, and I think there needs to be some of that, There has to be that, that framework and then you can, you know, just be the filthy comic, but with an identity, right. Of some, some kind to enjoy it. Like even Larry the cable guy, his identity blows, but right in terms of being like this stereotypical redneck. But at least you can, you can, you can rest under that and then enjoy the jokes. I'm trying to figure out who this is woman is, right? Like what is she really like? And then I'll listen to her jokes. But you can't, she doesn't let you. Yeah, right. Because she's Penny Youngman, 2013. Right? [00:40:40] Speaker A: Yeah, that's true. That was my whole thing with, through the whole thing, I never really got into it. [00:40:46] Speaker B: I didn't either. I didn't either. I appreciated, as a fellow filthy comic, I appreciated a lot of her writing. And I think there's an absolute brilliance somewhere in here, right. When you, when you flesh all this out. I just didn't enjoy watching it so much. Right. [00:41:08] Speaker A: Were you on the back foot out of the gate with that weird interaction with the car full of dudes? I'm like, what is this setting the stage for? [00:41:19] Speaker B: Yeah, I wasn't completely tuned in because I was. I had to listen to this on corded headphones into the back of my long story, but whatever. Into the back of the tv. And I was futzing with that as this scene was going on. So it's half looking at it. I, I didn't mind it. I kind of like, I mean, I Kind of like that kind of intro. And then she ties it back in with the outro. It was better than the guy in the dressing room getting pumped up or the walk through the club to, like, you know, Sarah Silverman. But it was. [00:41:52] Speaker A: It was something more. [00:41:53] Speaker B: Yeah, it was something there. So I didn't mind that one so much. You didn't like it? I'm talking to you. [00:42:02] Speaker A: I thought you were talking to Christian. [00:42:03] Speaker B: He's asleep over there. [00:42:05] Speaker C: I'm looking at Wikipedia stuff. [00:42:08] Speaker A: I didn't like. I didn't. I didn't like it because it didn't seem to tie to anything. It just seemed. [00:42:14] Speaker B: Well, nothing ties to anything. [00:42:16] Speaker A: Right. But I was expecting it to tie. [00:42:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:18] Speaker A: And when it didn't, I was like. [00:42:21] Speaker B: No, I didn't like the actual material in it, if that's what you're saying, like, about her pantyhose or whatever. Like I'm trying to be more of, you know. [00:42:27] Speaker A: No, I thought that was okay. I just didn't like the fact that it didn't really tie. But I like the end piece where. [00:42:35] Speaker B: She walks out the door. It's cool. Like when she gets off stage and she walks out the door and she's right back there. That I thought was cool. The outro. [00:42:42] Speaker A: It was this. A weird thing. Just couldn't. It didn't turn me off because I always knew there's a joke coming. I am always like, okay, where are we going? But I never got into it. [00:42:55] Speaker B: I think it's. You can. You can whittle it down even more into. I don't think she's likable. I don't think she's a likable person. [00:43:06] Speaker A: And you were going all the way back to 2000. [00:43:09] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm going back to when she snapped me at the vent. I think she's a. I don't think she's a Her. She might be a lovely person, and by all accounts, it sounds like, you know, she has lots of friends in the. In the scene and everything, but I don't think her act is likable, if that makes sense, you know, like, to me, anyway. Like, I don't know. And she gets laughter. But, like, I think there's something about her that, at least for me, even snub aside, she. Not likable, you know? You know what I'm saying? [00:43:41] Speaker C: I do know what you're saying. [00:43:43] Speaker B: Help me. [00:43:45] Speaker C: There's this sort of thing that she's saying disagreeable things. And there's a way to do that where you can say disagreeable Things while still having people kind of on your side, you know, saying, I can see how you can think that way, you know, but she's saying disagreeable things, but almost in a way of like, and I don't care what you think anyway. [00:44:05] Speaker B: Yes. [00:44:06] Speaker C: Which is then kind of like, okay, well, then why are you telling me? [00:44:08] Speaker B: Yes, it's something like that. It's something about her not giving a fuck about what I think or the audience thinks. I'm going to say this anyway, and I. And I think you have to do. If you're going to do that, you have to do that with an air of likability or like a devilishness in the eye thing. Like, you know what I mean? Like. And she doesn't have that right. She's kind of cold in that sense. And maybe it's, you know, she's like, you said, she had to navigate all douchebag guy world of comedy to make it to this point and be this good. And she comes across as callous with callous kind of crude material. And you can appreciate the jokes, but it's hard to like that person. [00:44:54] Speaker A: What do you think of Amy Schumer then? [00:44:56] Speaker B: I don't. I feel similar. I don't. I don't like her either. Yeah. Yeah. [00:45:08] Speaker A: See, I like Schumer. [00:45:09] Speaker B: You do? [00:45:09] Speaker A: I saw the show. We all went through it. I saw her live and she just was head and shoulders, the best comedian. [00:45:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:17] Speaker A: In an all star lineup. [00:45:20] Speaker B: Yeah. I think it's. For me, it's because I'm. I'm a huge misogynist. [00:45:27] Speaker A: And when I met. When I met Amy Schumer, she refused to put a fez on. She was here, the restaurant. [00:45:37] Speaker B: She was at the restaurant. [00:45:38] Speaker A: Yeah. And she wouldn't put a fez on. Yeah. Because we were doing the. Hey, we were getting famous people in fezzes. [00:45:43] Speaker B: She wouldn't put it on. [00:45:44] Speaker A: No, she wouldn't put it on. And then she said, I'm just gonna hold it in front of my. Is that. [00:45:49] Speaker B: Well, that's actually better. [00:45:51] Speaker A: No, it isn't. It's because I can't use the picture. [00:45:55] Speaker B: Why? [00:45:56] Speaker A: It just looks stupid. [00:45:57] Speaker B: Everyone doesn't. [00:45:58] Speaker A: It's even funniers. And she's standing there going, just put it on your head. I'm asking you. You do it. I take the picture, we leave. [00:46:12] Speaker B: She wouldn't do it. [00:46:13] Speaker C: She wouldn't do it. [00:46:14] Speaker A: She's only her. And James Adomian refused to put the fez on purely on. Purely on the grounds that he felt it's Turkish and He's Armenian, and the Turks had a genocide on the. [00:46:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:32] Speaker A: Well, after I pointed out that Fez is in Morocco and I've been to Fez in Morocco. Didn't hold any water. [00:46:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:46:47] Speaker A: But I figure them both because they're both favorite comedians of mine. [00:46:50] Speaker B: Okay. So you. You can look past these things. [00:46:52] Speaker A: I can. [00:46:53] Speaker B: Yeah. Separate the person from the act. It may also be too, like, there, you know, I don't like comedians who are doing better than at something than me. I wanted to be a dirty comedian, and they're doing it better than me, so I resent them. [00:47:13] Speaker A: That's it. We haven't really got much to say about Sarah Silverman then, have we? [00:47:17] Speaker B: We've said a lot. I'll say this. I thought this was interesting. I didn't laugh the entire time. Not even once. [00:47:26] Speaker C: Same. [00:47:27] Speaker B: Until the. The song about the sea. [00:47:32] Speaker C: Oh, yes. [00:47:33] Speaker B: That made me laugh. Like, that was. That was pretty good. [00:47:37] Speaker A: Didn't you feel that was telegraphed? [00:47:39] Speaker B: What do you mean? [00:47:40] Speaker A: That was where that song was gonna go. [00:47:42] Speaker B: I knew it was going somewhere filthy. I didn't know it was gonna be that. But then, like, just the idea. And especially back then. Right. Like, maybe it's more loaded now, but back then, to just say it over and over. I mean, that was such a hot. There's such a word we men couldn't say. Right. Back then, men could not say that word. I mean, I know you say it, you know. [00:48:01] Speaker A: No, I didn't say it much. [00:48:03] Speaker B: In your country, in your home country. [00:48:04] Speaker C: It's like I wasn't laughing so much at the song, but I was actually laughing at. Thought of how long it would take until Mark made it his ringtone. [00:48:12] Speaker B: Yeah, that would be a good ringtone for you. [00:48:14] Speaker A: You know what? This is the least amount of notes I just realized that you've ever had on one. [00:48:20] Speaker B: So you don't have much to say. [00:48:22] Speaker A: No, no. I wouldn't do that on a ringtone. You know what I was remembering the other day is on my answer phone message. Do you remember when I had the Eminem answer phone? [00:48:32] Speaker B: No answer phone. What do you mean? What's that? [00:48:34] Speaker C: Is it so. [00:48:35] Speaker A: You know. You know, in. You know, back in the old days, people had a mess. What do you call it? Answer for. [00:48:40] Speaker B: Answering machine. [00:48:41] Speaker A: Answering machine. [00:48:42] Speaker B: Yes. [00:48:42] Speaker A: And you strove to do a funny. [00:48:45] Speaker B: Yes, yes. [00:48:46] Speaker A: And I had. When Eminem first hit with hi, My name is. What? My name is who my name is. And then I switched in Mark Geary instead of Shady. [00:48:56] Speaker B: It sounds phonetically similar. [00:48:58] Speaker A: Yeah. And that Was my answer. [00:49:00] Speaker B: So you would play the song and then stop it and say Mark Geary. [00:49:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:03] Speaker C: Or whatever. [00:49:04] Speaker A: And then that was well done. [00:49:06] Speaker B: Never got into the answering machine. [00:49:07] Speaker A: That's kids. Kids these days. Do they kids you have, you have kids? Do they do funny? [00:49:12] Speaker B: I do. [00:49:13] Speaker A: Do they do they do. Do they do funny. [00:49:16] Speaker B: I don't. [00:49:16] Speaker A: They don't message. [00:49:18] Speaker B: I don't. They don't really talk on the phone kids. I don't think. [00:49:21] Speaker A: But they have a voicemail message. [00:49:24] Speaker C: Yeah, I think usually they have just. [00:49:26] Speaker B: No, they don't. [00:49:26] Speaker C: The automated, you know, the person that just sends like, you know this. Right. Isn't available. Please leave your. [00:49:33] Speaker B: Yes, it's all automated. Do I have an outgoing voice message? [00:49:36] Speaker C: I don't think I do. Recorded when you do. But if you don't, it's just whoever, whatever Siri says for you, I'm going. [00:49:40] Speaker B: To put one on there. But nobody calls. But like. [00:49:42] Speaker A: Well, I have to. [00:49:43] Speaker B: Let's do funny ones. [00:49:44] Speaker A: My phone is the Lincoln Log, so I have to have like a go to the website, blah, blah, blah. [00:49:48] Speaker B: It's so funny. A friend of mine from college, every time I see him, will. Will give me shit about this. Went back when I was performing on my cell phone, I had an outgoing message like, hey, reach Bill, I can't take your call right now, but leave me a message. Something like that. Right? And then. But because, you know, trying to perform, it would end with and if you'd like to book a show, you know, whatever I said after that, he always said, you want to book a show? Anyone? You want to book a show? If you'd like to book a show, that's your message on. Hi, this is Mark. Can take a call right now. If you want to perform at the Lincoln Lodge, call this number. [00:50:32] Speaker A: If it's anything to do with comedy, go to the website. Essentially paraphrasing that, that's some old school, isn't it? [00:50:38] Speaker B: Right? You having that on your answering machine? [00:50:41] Speaker A: Well, I have to. It's my. Also my personal phone. [00:50:44] Speaker B: Why don't you get a Google number just for the fucking lodge and then have somebody manage that so you don't have to see it. Who's the booker? [00:50:52] Speaker A: Have them do it 25 years in, it seems just too late for that. Plus it's gotta. When this phone's ringing Friday and Saturday night, you gotta answer it. [00:51:03] Speaker B: Why? [00:51:03] Speaker A: Hey, are there still tickets available? You could lose like, you know, 200 bucks in revenue. Yeah, because someone called. [00:51:13] Speaker B: But I'm surprised you're handling that with your Very large staff. [00:51:19] Speaker A: Well, here's the problem. It's a critical function. [00:51:24] Speaker B: You don't trust anyone to handle those walk up. [00:51:27] Speaker C: There's only like four of us that work here. Anyway. [00:51:32] Speaker A: It's a critical function. I mean, I have tried to farm it out before. [00:51:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:37] Speaker A: And I know, and I know how it went. You know what I mean? [00:51:40] Speaker B: Yeah, sure, I do. So, yeah, you can read between the lines. [00:51:44] Speaker A: I mean, I, I, yeah, that one. [00:51:45] Speaker C: I got, I got that one. [00:51:51] Speaker B: Okay. [00:51:53] Speaker A: And it's. Jesus Christ. You want to, you want to know the depths of humanity? Answer the phone. Answer the phone for a comedy club. [00:52:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Anyone that's calling. A comedy is a drag of society. [00:52:05] Speaker A: I'm sure most of them are drunk or stoned off their tits. [00:52:12] Speaker B: Yeah. At least they want to give you like, they want to buy the tickets over the phone with a credit card. Will you take a credit card over the phone? [00:52:21] Speaker A: No, I don't do that. [00:52:22] Speaker B: Well, you just say, the one I. [00:52:24] Speaker A: Really hate is, when does your show start tonight? And I like, so I get immediately get passive aggressive. I go, we have seven shows tonight. Which specific show do you want to know about? And I say it in a vinegary fucking way, you know, because it's like you, you know that you have a computer in your hand and that computer could go to our website. [00:52:50] Speaker B: Well, this person's a Luddite and you have no. [00:52:52] Speaker C: Yeah. And also this person thinks they're calling. They think they're calling like a desk where there's just like somebody sitting around like you know, scrolling through Instagram. And when the phone rings, they have something to do, you know, and they. [00:53:02] Speaker A: But to their point, I'm sitting eating my dinner. [00:53:05] Speaker C: Right? That's what I'm saying. They don't know they're calling you eating your dinner. [00:53:08] Speaker B: The fact that you're even fielding these calls blows my mind. Right. And you're mad at someone who's calling up to get this information in the same way that you're the same backwards ass guy answering the phone in an era where nobody does that. Right. You see the irony or the hypocrisy in that. You're mad at the person who's doing the thing that you're doing, providing when nobody should be providing this anymore. [00:53:40] Speaker A: I'm not mad at everyone out of the gate. It's gonna be, they've got a sentence to hook me, you know what I mean? [00:53:47] Speaker C: Like, well, I think they're on the clock. [00:53:50] Speaker B: I think what it is, is like if I'm going to a music show, Right. And I'm like, you know, I can't get there tonight. I wonder when so and so goes on, right? Like, when does the actual band I'm there to see go on? This might be three or four bands before that. That's. That's needed information. [00:54:05] Speaker A: That's one. [00:54:06] Speaker B: It's never on the website. [00:54:07] Speaker A: That's one of my most hated calls. When does the headliner go on? [00:54:11] Speaker B: When does Nate Craig go on? [00:54:13] Speaker A: It's one of my most hated calls. When does the headliner go? [00:54:17] Speaker B: Why do you hate it? Because you don't want them rolling in. [00:54:20] Speaker A: To this fucking show. Manage your life. [00:54:23] Speaker B: Yeah. People get depressed by the opening acts, though. Very bad. They're window dressing. You don't want to fucking see that. Shouldn't have to if you don't want to. [00:54:34] Speaker A: Oh, God. What was the best one? The best call I ever had? Holy shit. So what was it again? I tell everyone this one and now I can't remember it. And we're on camera. I'll have to edit the pause out myself. The guy calls me and he says something like, what time does the blah, blah, blah show start tonight? And I say something like, that show isn't tonight, it's tomorrow or something. No, I gotta. It was amazing. It ends with him. [00:55:16] Speaker B: It was a prank call. [00:55:17] Speaker A: No, no, no. [00:55:18] Speaker B: Now I'm gonna prank you. [00:55:19] Speaker A: He got more than I know. [00:55:21] Speaker B: Give himself. [00:55:22] Speaker C: Get yourself a Google voice number. [00:55:24] Speaker B: Yes, I'm going to be fucking calling you every Friday and Saturday night. So, yeah, I shouldn't have said anything. [00:55:31] Speaker A: Anyway, the. The. The guy got even more irate than I was, and it was hilarious because he. He wanted me to say a certain thing and I said something different. And then he said, well, why didn't you just say this? And then I. And then I repeated what I'd said. And then he goes, all right, say this. He wanted you to say, I guess I'm gonna ask the question again and you say this. So I say the exact thing that he wanted me to say, and then he hung the phone. [00:56:07] Speaker B: Why did you give in to him and say that? [00:56:10] Speaker A: Because I was sort of laughing at the fact that I'd him around enough. [00:56:14] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:56:15] Speaker A: And he was. He was fuming on the phone. It was great. I. I gotta remember what it was and I'll mention it next. [00:56:22] Speaker B: Oh, my God. That's great. [00:56:23] Speaker A: Yeah. And then I've had people do prank calls, and I. I literally said to them. I literally said to this one idiot kid, like, dude, I love prank calls, and I know exactly what you're trying to do right now, and I'm not. [00:56:43] Speaker B: You're just not doing it well. [00:56:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:56:45] Speaker B: Back to the drawing board. [00:56:46] Speaker A: Yeah. I just said to him, I know exactly what you're doing right now. I love prank phone calls. And you're not doing it well. And he tried to carry on with, have you got a big dick? You know what I mean? Or whatever. [00:57:00] Speaker B: And I'm like, sounds like Christian. [00:57:01] Speaker C: That was me. [00:57:03] Speaker A: I remember that you get a lot of, like, comedians calling, you know, let me do my act. [00:57:09] Speaker B: Because they're trying to do their acts. Audition over the phone. [00:57:12] Speaker A: Yeah. But I think they're recording it. [00:57:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:14] Speaker A: You know, from whatever. You know, whatever tik tok they're trying to do. And I. Obviously, I'm wise, so I just shut them down straight away. Like, naked. Pick the wrong one. [00:57:27] Speaker B: Yeah. Hilarious that you. You're answering the phone before the shows and everything. It's great. All right, well, let's. [00:57:36] Speaker A: This one was way too long. [00:57:38] Speaker B: I don't mind. Nobody's listening to it anyway. Yeah. [00:57:43] Speaker A: I should have hacked the profanosaurus. What should I hack out? [00:57:47] Speaker B: What do you mean? [00:57:48] Speaker A: The dead. What's. What's the dead end? [00:57:50] Speaker B: Leave it all in. It's an archive, Christian. What are we doing? What would we want to do? [00:57:57] Speaker A: Oh, one more thing, because it ties in. I call. I emailed Joe Pera. Oh, you did? Because I was gonna. Yeah. [00:58:05] Speaker B: Did he get back to you? [00:58:06] Speaker A: Yeah, he did. [00:58:06] Speaker B: He did. Joe Pera. [00:58:08] Speaker A: Wow. Wow. [00:58:10] Speaker B: Copy me on these emails, would you? So, like, I feel like I'm in the business. No, I, you know, bcc me. [00:58:15] Speaker A: I noticed he was doing that thing in Indiana. [00:58:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:58:18] Speaker A: So I sent him this obtuse, stupid, cutesy email about, hey, if you're coming through. If you. If you're ever coming through Chicago, if you're coming through Chicago this weekend, drop by and we can discuss the Treaty of Versailles at length or something. Because I. Playing into his, like, obscure historical references or whatever. [00:58:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:58:39] Speaker A: And on his website, it says, you can email this, but please don't be offended if I don't get back. But within three hours, he'd email back and he said, hey, thank you very much for contacting me. I will be flying via airplane to Indianapolis, so I won't be coming through Chicago, but I've heard wonderful things about the Lincoln Lodge and can't wait to come by one day. [00:59:06] Speaker B: Wow. And what was your response to that? Nothing. [00:59:09] Speaker A: I think I put some. I responded like, it's always nice to be called wonderful. Thank you. Very much. We are doing our 25th anniversary celebration next year. Maybe that would be a good time time or something. And then I found out from Deanna that the last Chicago gig he did was the Vic Theater. So I'm guessing he's not. [00:59:27] Speaker B: Yeah, he's a little bit big. [00:59:29] Speaker A: A little bit bigger than the Lincoln Lodge. [00:59:30] Speaker C: But anyway, Higgins was on that show with him in Indiana. [00:59:34] Speaker A: Oh yeah, he went to the festival. [00:59:35] Speaker C: Chris Higgins. I. Well I think I thought that they. I mean I know that he met him there too. I know that he brought in some. Another Joe Pera brought in some pretty serious dough that. [00:59:47] Speaker A: Oh yeah, yeah. [00:59:48] Speaker C: That seems like Vic money. [00:59:50] Speaker A: Yeah. So we ain't getting him. [00:59:54] Speaker C: Never say never. [00:59:55] Speaker A: Maybe drop in or something. [00:59:56] Speaker C: Yeah, right, exactly. Who knows? Maybe, maybe, maybe he just wants to do it. To do it. [01:00:01] Speaker B: He wouldn't drop in. Zanies, right? Like comedians that are coming through Chicago, big show or what, they don't do a drop in set places. [01:00:10] Speaker C: Do they like it? [01:00:11] Speaker B: You know like, like the comedy saw. They don't drop in at Zany's to do a set before they go to the United center or anything, right? [01:00:19] Speaker A: I don't think so, no. [01:00:21] Speaker C: Yeah, you don't really hear about that anywhere. [01:00:22] Speaker B: Yeah, that's what this place needs to be. Is that where communities come in and drop in and do drop in? [01:00:28] Speaker A: Are they? Because they're here. [01:00:29] Speaker B: Have you ever had a drop in? You must have. Fucking George Carlin dropped by the Lions. [01:00:36] Speaker C: Adam Conover did it one time like a year ago. [01:00:39] Speaker A: That wasn't drop in. I was always on the cards because we had a note, no publicity. [01:00:44] Speaker C: Oh really? I thought he just happened to be here. I thought like he was hanging out with Borky and no swing by. [01:00:50] Speaker A: It was planned like I think to me a drop in is like holy, you know, Adam Sandler just walked through the front door saying, yeah, can I get him? We don't have drop ins. [01:01:02] Speaker B: But you would take them, right? You'll bump. Fucking. I won't say anybody's name but oh. [01:01:12] Speaker C: The tables have turned. [01:01:13] Speaker B: Oh yes. I don't know anybody's name. So that's. Yeah, you would, you would. If any Adam Sandler walked in here. You're not going to put him up. Come on. [01:01:23] Speaker A: Yeah, Wood. But I'm saying it's not going to happen because Chicago doesn't have drop ins. [01:01:29] Speaker B: Yeah, only LA and New York. [01:01:31] Speaker A: Only la, yeah. Yeah. [01:01:32] Speaker C: Why don't. [01:01:33] Speaker B: We should have drop. [01:01:34] Speaker A: Yeah, why? Because that's where they live. [01:01:36] Speaker B: Put on the website. Home of the drop in Lincoln Lodge. I mean, the comedians Drop in. [01:01:45] Speaker A: The Drop in. What a great name. [01:01:47] Speaker B: Do Drop in the do drop in. Joe Para. Well, that's interest. Hey, listen, you got an email back from Joe. Pero put a little spring in your step, you know. [01:01:59] Speaker A: Yeah. That's not a big. Biggest name. [01:02:05] Speaker B: No, I know you've had legends stay at your house. Of course I'm talking about. [01:02:10] Speaker A: No, you're not allowed. [01:02:11] Speaker B: No, I'm not talking about anything. So. I'm talking about Eddie Pepitone. [01:02:16] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:02:18] Speaker B: In your bathroom doing a Kaiser. So that's. Yeah. [01:02:24] Speaker C: Was it Kaiser Soze? Brown trout. [01:02:27] Speaker A: Brown trout is now you conjoin two together. [01:02:31] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [01:02:32] Speaker A: Viz is big on brown trout. They called one of their annual albums the brown Trout. [01:02:39] Speaker B: I'm using that now at home with my kids. [01:02:43] Speaker A: Who left it? [01:02:44] Speaker B: Who dropped a brown trout in here? Thin flush it. [01:02:51] Speaker A: Let's just do the entire thing on Profanosaurus. [01:02:54] Speaker B: We could. [01:02:55] Speaker C: Bonus episode. [01:02:55] Speaker B: Yeah, bonus episode. That's the. The Patreon after hours for subscribers only. [01:03:00] Speaker A: Ooh. New new live game show Profanosaurus. [01:03:05] Speaker B: That's what it felt like. It felt like a. Like a game show. Like one that could work. [01:03:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:03:10] Speaker B: Could this be something that works? [01:03:11] Speaker A: It could. [01:03:12] Speaker B: No, you could. It would have to be pay tv. [01:03:15] Speaker A: Because it's still come work on tv, but I mean live. [01:03:19] Speaker B: Oh, for a show. [01:03:21] Speaker A: For a show. You could have, you know, a panel of comedians. You remember the show. What's my line? Where people would guess like. [01:03:29] Speaker B: No, that. That's what I was thinking when we were doing. That is. That's funny you should ask. Right. The Byron Allen show for, like, be comedians like Jamie Kennedy, John Lovitz. The. The. The heavyset guy that's now thin from Mike and Molly or whatever that show is. They have him on a panel and they ask them questions and they have to give, like, funny responses. That's the same thing. [01:03:52] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [01:03:55] Speaker C: Jack A. [01:03:56] Speaker B: From 227. These people aren't even comedians. [01:04:01] Speaker A: Do one more. And that's where I'm gonna end the episode. So. And the episode's about. No, hang on. We didn't. [01:04:06] Speaker B: Rest in peace. Louie Anderson. [01:04:09] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, we didn't do. Is. [01:04:11] Speaker B: He died. To Louie Anderson. I want to do a special. [01:04:14] Speaker C: Yeah, he's dead, right? [01:04:15] Speaker B: I don't know. C.J. used to work with him. You know, Louis, the. [01:04:21] Speaker A: Was he dead? [01:04:22] Speaker B: The heavyset fella. [01:04:23] Speaker A: Louie was great in baskets. Did you. I couldn't even countenance Louie Anderson as a male anymore. He was so good as gal's mom in Baskets. [01:04:37] Speaker C: Oh. [01:04:39] Speaker A: He did die then. [01:04:40] Speaker C: Yeah, he died in 22. [01:04:42] Speaker A: 20. [01:04:43] Speaker C: 22, to be exact. [01:04:44] Speaker B: He did. [01:04:45] Speaker A: Okay, we got to get to the Is this special? Which we know the answer. [01:05:00] Speaker B: You go first. Is this special? This doesn't work. How we do this at the end is this. We need something more catchy, like, you. [01:05:11] Speaker C: Know, we should change it Again, not. [01:05:13] Speaker B: Necessarily change it, but like the. The what we say at the end isn't. What do we even say? It is special. That doesn't. Doesn't work. Like. [01:05:25] Speaker A: This isn't special, Bill. [01:05:33] Speaker B: It's sort of special. Kind of. [01:05:37] Speaker C: You got to commit, though. [01:05:39] Speaker A: She's binary world. [01:05:44] Speaker B: It is special. [01:05:46] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. I was kind of. I was really battling with this when I was thinking about the. The answer I was going to give earlier today when I. I'd watched half of it last night and then half of it this morning, and then even I was kind of wishing that I had watched it days ago so I could really let it settle and have a definitive answer. Because I was going back and forth a lot of it. I didn't. I didn't laugh the whole time. Even the song at the end didn't get me. However, there was a lot of it that was. I thought was insightful in these weird ways. You know, like she. She actually had something to say at some point that I thought was entertain. Yeah, I thought was good. [01:06:26] Speaker B: And what did she have to say on any. [01:06:28] Speaker C: See, well, so this brings me to my next point. I don't remember. So that's the thing. So when I was walking around earlier, before this, I was thinking, you know what, though? I don't remember any of the act. It was almost like being on a road trip with somebody and the radio is broken and they've taken an Adderall and they just are going from one thought to another to another, and you kind of eventually tune out. And being the fact that it was immemorable and in memorable. [01:06:51] Speaker B: Is it in immemorable? [01:06:53] Speaker C: Immemorable. [01:06:53] Speaker B: I don't think that's a word. No, I've never seen it. [01:06:55] Speaker C: Non memorable. [01:06:56] Speaker B: Mark Shaking said. No, I don't think that's non memorable. [01:06:59] Speaker C: You could use that. [01:07:00] Speaker B: Even though not unremarkable, I didn't remember it. [01:07:06] Speaker C: And the fact that there were no laughs at all throughout the entire thing, I think makes it a pretty concrete answer of not special. [01:07:15] Speaker B: I'm changing my answer because I remember she snubbed me. Not. Not special. Three thumbs down. [01:07:24] Speaker C: And then now one more person that's going to be on the Game show. [01:07:28] Speaker A: No, no, no. [01:07:29] Speaker B: What happened to Ridley? We're supposed to have Ridley. And you never even responded. [01:07:32] Speaker A: It wouldn't have worked anyway because I ended up having to do about 40 minutes of tech for the late show. [01:07:40] Speaker B: So was Ridley here? Did he like the lodge and everything? [01:07:42] Speaker A: Yeah, he just sort of came, watched a bit and we had me real game trying to find food. Then he's breakfast in the morning and bug it off. [01:07:51] Speaker C: And you know what? Before. [01:07:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:07:52] Speaker C: Before we wrap this up, I have to say who the next comedian is going to. [01:07:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:07:55] Speaker C: So we are going to stay in the year of 2013 and we will be reviewing the performative comedy stylings of Bo Burnham. Comedy special titled. What with a period at the end. [01:08:08] Speaker B: Bo Burnham. Is he a ventriloquist? [01:08:11] Speaker C: I don't want to give anything away. [01:08:13] Speaker B: Does he have a puppet that's not giving anything away? [01:08:15] Speaker C: He doesn't have a puppet. [01:08:17] Speaker B: He thought he had a puppet. [01:08:18] Speaker A: The early 2000. [01:08:18] Speaker B: Jeff Dunham. I'm thinking of Bo Burnham. Jeff Dunham. [01:08:21] Speaker A: Bo Burnham's the piano guy. [01:08:23] Speaker C: Yeah, he does play the piano. [01:08:25] Speaker B: I don't know anything about this fellow. You. [01:08:27] Speaker A: What do I know about Bo Burnham? Is he played C.J. sullivan in the Big Sick. [01:08:35] Speaker B: He did. C.J. sullivan has a character in the Big Sick. [01:08:39] Speaker A: There's a character called CJ in the Big Sick. [01:08:43] Speaker B: Yeah, but it's based on cj. [01:08:45] Speaker A: Yeah. They're like. Yeah. I don't even want to let. We'll start the next. [01:08:50] Speaker B: We'll talk about that. Jesus. [01:08:52] Speaker A: I didn't know that because we talk about Bob Burnham. But anyway. Yeah, so we're gonna end this with a crisp. What are we doing? Like B C list, celebrity game show person. [01:09:05] Speaker B: Oh, well, hold on. I gotta think of somebody's on the. On the. I used all the ones I remember. [01:09:13] Speaker A: It'd be cyclopedic with it. Hell, it's nearly half one. [01:09:21] Speaker B: I'm gonna leave this real. I can't think. Anybody else that's on that show. [01:09:29] Speaker A: Think of. Think of a early 2000s SNL guy. There's a million of them. [01:09:38] Speaker B: No, I want to think of somebody that's actually on the show. He's Jack A. Already she was on there. Mike and Molly guy. Oh, what's her name? Whitney on the show today. Whitney Cummings.