Review: Cara Josephine, Josie Long

[00:00:08] Speaker A: A tranche. Tranche. Is that. I've heard the word tranche recently in the news. T R A N C H E. A tranche of arms. Like a hidden supply, I think it means. [00:00:20] Speaker B: Really? [00:00:21] Speaker A: Arms. Yeah. I've got a tranche of candy at home that I'm gonna bring in. Well, I run a. You might have heard of it. I run a little Wiffle ball camp by the name of Bill's. Whiffling Camp. Go down to 73rd street to the wholesaler there. [00:00:37] Speaker B: The William Whifflers. [00:00:38] Speaker A: Yeah, that was a team at one point. [00:00:42] Speaker C: Even cheaper stuff, probably from the flea market. [00:00:45] Speaker A: Food from a flea market? No, thanks. That doesn't sound right. I don't want expired food. [00:00:55] Speaker B: I've got a. [00:00:56] Speaker A: Hear me, John. [00:00:56] Speaker B: I've got the two younger sisters, right? And so one of my sisters is just like me. When we go out for Halloween, our candy would be gone within days. My other sister was one of those that saved her candy, but she would hide it from us because she knew that we would find it and eat it, or we'd eat it if we found it. We would always find it around mid July. And then we would get upset with her that this candy was stale, that we were stealing from her. [00:01:23] Speaker A: You'd be upset that the candy was. Yeah. [00:01:26] Speaker B: This candy's too old. [00:01:28] Speaker A: Seem like you're in the. Right there. [00:01:31] Speaker C: I had some. [00:01:32] Speaker B: I think that's the point. [00:01:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:33] Speaker C: I had some candy in the closet for four years because. Because Rib Fest got cancelled, so I just took it into work. I just never told anyone it was four years old. [00:01:43] Speaker A: What? What? Wait, what does it have to do with the Rib festival? [00:01:47] Speaker C: Because of COVID Because we used to give. We used to do this thing to get emails at Rib Fest, where you did a competition, but we. To entice people in, you know, you got a bit of. [00:01:58] Speaker A: So you'd have a little stand at Rib Fest. [00:01:59] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:02:00] Speaker A: For the lodge. [00:02:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:02:01] Speaker A: Oh, that's cool. [00:02:02] Speaker C: But anyway, yeah, everyone. I just took it in in the end, as I was four years old. It's fine. [00:02:09] Speaker A: Yeah. You're not. You're not. [00:02:11] Speaker C: I'm not fussy about that. [00:02:13] Speaker B: We found with our Wiley Willoughby's that were approaching expiration. [00:02:19] Speaker A: Yeah. They weren't even expired. [00:02:20] Speaker B: Yeah. And they're gone. [00:02:23] Speaker A: Some. Somebody ate them. Are they still over? He wants candy. [00:02:26] Speaker B: Somebody had a candy. [00:02:27] Speaker A: Somebody got his tooth going over here. His sweet tooth. [00:02:30] Speaker B: You want a wallaby? [00:02:31] Speaker A: Yeah, give him. [00:02:31] Speaker C: No, I'm fine. [00:02:32] Speaker A: Come on. [00:02:33] Speaker C: I'll have some chalky when I get home. [00:02:35] Speaker A: Like chalky We. I didn't bring my own glassies. What do you call glasses and smell specs? That's what they call them. Biffs. Throw me my glasses. I'll take a two. A two? [00:02:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:02:50] Speaker A: I look like Dame Edna in these things. [00:02:52] Speaker C: What happened to your. What were they called? [00:02:56] Speaker A: I still had. [00:02:57] Speaker C: Yeah, those abysmal efforts. What happened to them? [00:03:00] Speaker A: No, I still have them. I'm still wearing them. Despite you saying I look like a villain. I asked a couple people. I'm like, no, you don't look like a villain. [00:03:07] Speaker C: You know, like, you look like a creation of the classic British comedian Les Dawson, who had a character called Cosmo Small Piece, who was a creepy man. [00:03:21] Speaker A: Cosmo Small Piece, meaning small penis? [00:03:23] Speaker C: No, just Small Piece. I don't know. Cosmo Small Piece. I'll show you a picture. That's. I was thinking about who else you looked like, and now I was thinking, oh, he looks like Cosmo Small Piece. There you go. That's what you look like in them. [00:03:35] Speaker A: Thanks. Cosmos Small Piece. [00:03:37] Speaker C: All our listeners Google Cosmo Small Piece now. [00:03:41] Speaker A: He's a pig. He looks. Well, I don't want to say who looks like now because I'm basically calling that guy a pig. [00:03:49] Speaker C: Yeah. Great glasses, though. Wise. [00:03:52] Speaker A: Those ones, like my frames, my friends are better than that. I want to say, although I can't see them now at a distance, it looks fantastic in here. We've got the framed poster on the wall all cleaned up. Hang in there with the cat, the Jesus clock and the certificate that I earned for. [00:04:10] Speaker C: Certificate's too high, isn't it? In hindsight. [00:04:13] Speaker B: In hindsight. [00:04:14] Speaker C: Hindsight. [00:04:16] Speaker A: Hindsight. [00:04:16] Speaker C: Hindsight should go over the printer. Synchronized watches, Commander Bond. [00:04:23] Speaker A: We're good on that. [00:04:24] Speaker C: That's. [00:04:25] Speaker A: That clock is the right time. 12:30, 12:26. [00:04:27] Speaker B: It's a couple minutes off. A little slow. [00:04:30] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:04:30] Speaker A: Oh, it's a little slow. [00:04:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:32] Speaker A: My watch is a little slow. Well, good day, friends. Welcome to the program. We just had lunch out in the. [00:04:41] Speaker B: What do you call that room in the lobby? [00:04:43] Speaker A: That's the lobby. [00:04:44] Speaker B: That's the lobby. [00:04:44] Speaker A: Well, that's also the bar. [00:04:45] Speaker B: The bar. Bar area, lobby area interchangeable. [00:04:49] Speaker A: Yep. We just had lunch out there. I brought my own lunch. I made it at home. A little like eggplant sandwich. And I brought these two Nathan's hot dogs. How are they sitting in the belly? [00:05:01] Speaker B: Just fine. Yeah, [00:05:04] Speaker C: it'll be moving by about 2:00'. Clock. [00:05:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:08] Speaker A: As I was getting those today at the. Whatever you call that rotunda thing where they put these discount items at Juul there were two youth there perusing the selection and they were looking at the pizza puffs and one of the kids said to him, yeah, what? I want to eat that out of diarrhea by 6, period. [00:05:29] Speaker B: That's, that's, that's pretty advanced. [00:05:31] Speaker A: Yeah, but they still bought them. [00:05:32] Speaker B: Yeah, but they. Of course. But they predicted their diarrhea. Yeah, I don't think I was thinking about that when I was in school. [00:05:40] Speaker A: You weren't, you weren't forecasting your diarrhea. [00:05:43] Speaker B: Although I wasn't buying pizza puffs midday either. [00:05:48] Speaker A: A pizza puff is like eating diarrhea. [00:05:50] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't see the appeal. [00:05:52] Speaker C: Yeah, I've had one or two. Then I'll just know. [00:05:56] Speaker B: Any food that has that as the description is not a good food. [00:06:00] Speaker A: What pizza puff? [00:06:02] Speaker B: Any food that somebody says [00:06:05] Speaker C: I have [00:06:06] Speaker B: a huge issue and then doesn't really know what to say next, that means it's bad. [00:06:10] Speaker C: I have a huge issue with the price. [00:06:13] Speaker B: The price of the pizza puff. 100%. [00:06:14] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:15] Speaker B: So there's nothing to them. [00:06:16] Speaker A: I'm glad you brought that up today. [00:06:19] Speaker B: A pizza puff. [00:06:20] Speaker A: And I should have got these for you guys. [00:06:21] Speaker B: But if she's all in, I wouldn't have wanted it. [00:06:24] Speaker A: You might. [00:06:25] Speaker B: The fried food, I just. The hot dog was. Well, they're baked. [00:06:28] Speaker A: I don't think they're dropping them in the fryer. [00:06:29] Speaker B: Really. [00:06:29] Speaker A: No, they think they're dropping them in a fryer. At one point they were probably fried, but then they're frozen and then reconstituted a different way, I think. But Today, Mark, they're 349 each, which I know is prohibitive, but it's buy one, get one free. So maybe stop by on the way home and get one for you, one for the misses. [00:06:51] Speaker C: I just dropped the misses off for a birthday. She's doing a birthday trip with her twin sister. [00:06:59] Speaker A: Is that right? [00:07:00] Speaker C: Yep. [00:07:00] Speaker A: Where are they going? [00:07:01] Speaker C: They're going to Florida, to Key west because they're both turned. They're both turning the big 65 this year. [00:07:07] Speaker A: God, she looks fantastic for 6 5. 6 5. Not her height, right? Definitely not for the, for her age. She looks like a 40 year old or in her 40s. [00:07:19] Speaker C: She does take care of herself, but. [00:07:21] Speaker B: She does. [00:07:21] Speaker C: Yeah. She isn't. She doesn't partake in the bad habits. [00:07:26] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay, so here's some deals. I don't, I don't. I've never heard you mention these deals. And I only go in there in the afternoon. But if you go to Jewel in the morning, you can Get Jojo's breakfast Dollar deals. These things are all a dollar. The English muffin sandwich, which egg and cheese or sausage and cheese? The breakfast stick, which is a pancake and turkey sausage. [00:07:51] Speaker B: Gross. [00:07:52] Speaker C: Stick. [00:07:53] Speaker A: I think it's a sausage wrapped in some kind of pancake. [00:07:56] Speaker B: It doesn't matter what it is with a name like that. [00:07:58] Speaker A: The breakfast stick. Come on Monday, I gave my wife a breakfast stick. Hey o hey oh. Mini pancakes for a dollar. Four count French toast sticks and one count of hash brown. [00:08:12] Speaker C: Preach into the wrong choir. [00:08:14] Speaker A: Why? You've already been. [00:08:15] Speaker C: No, I don't do cooked breakfasts. [00:08:17] Speaker A: Oh, that's right, you do. [00:08:18] Speaker B: The porridge. [00:08:19] Speaker C: Do porridge and orange. [00:08:22] Speaker A: Orange juice. Orange juice slice. [00:08:24] Speaker C: Orange slices. [00:08:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:26] Speaker B: Can't imagine starting my day with any of those. [00:08:28] Speaker A: Okay, but what if you bought them in the morning and ate them for lunch? These are some nice. [00:08:33] Speaker C: These don't appeal. [00:08:34] Speaker A: Yeah, eggs are terrible for you though. Did you know that? They say there's worse than any kind of meat. [00:08:39] Speaker B: Really? [00:08:40] Speaker A: Cholesterol maybe? I guess. Yeah. [00:08:41] Speaker C: Funnily enough, I almost brought eggs for you guys. [00:08:44] Speaker A: Oh, I. I do eat them a little bit. [00:08:46] Speaker C: Well, we. [00:08:47] Speaker A: Time and again we got the two [00:08:49] Speaker C: for one deal at Jewel, which is 24 eggs, way too many. And then Heather's friend from rural Ohio who has a farm came and dropped off another dozen of farm fresh eggs. [00:09:01] Speaker A: You toss those, Jewel. [00:09:02] Speaker C: For now we're at 36 eggs, which is basically a lifetime supply. [00:09:09] Speaker A: Oh yeah, we go through the eggs in my house. How about you? [00:09:12] Speaker B: Yeah, you know, it's funny, eggs are normally on my grocery list, but remember when I sent you guys a picture of. We'd just been talking about eggs and there's some reason I sent you this picture that there was a woman selling farm fresh eggs out of the back of her van on the corner. Right. And she said she's there every day. So I've been holding off to buy more eggs until I run into her and I've. It's been. It's been a month. I just won't buy eggs at the grocery stor these are available, but I don't go buy those either. So I just haven't had any eggs. [00:09:37] Speaker A: Yeah, you know, probably happened to her. She was scooped up by ice. [00:09:41] Speaker B: I hope not. You know. Yeah, because those are. Those are great eggs. I like to leave some hard boiled in the fridge that I. I was [00:09:47] Speaker A: just gonna say you seem like a hard boiled egg. [00:09:49] Speaker B: Yeah, but then I use the little. The slicer thing, you know, like the mandolin. [00:09:53] Speaker A: Oh yeah. [00:09:53] Speaker B: Well, not the mandolin. But it's like. It looks like a harp. More. Yeah, it slices them up. And I put those in my salad for breakfast. [00:10:00] Speaker A: I like eggs, but I've never had a hard boiled egg. I've avoided that. I just. They look disgusting. Looks disgusting. [00:10:07] Speaker B: Oh, you got to rip the band aid off. [00:10:09] Speaker C: I found. I found out from the Mrs. Americans don't do soldiers and eggs, do you? [00:10:14] Speaker A: Who? What? [00:10:15] Speaker C: Soldiers and eggs. What's that? [00:10:16] Speaker A: A soldier. [00:10:17] Speaker C: Eggy soldiers. So you tell me more. [00:10:20] Speaker B: Say. Say it a different way. [00:10:21] Speaker C: You soft boil the egg so it's still semi runny. The yolk definitely is. Then you get toast and you cut it into strips. Knock the top off the egg in your little egg cup and then you dip your. [00:10:36] Speaker B: Oh, that sounds good. [00:10:37] Speaker C: Dip your pieces of toast. That's what kids have all the time in England. [00:10:40] Speaker B: Oh, did you ever make sounds like a breakfast stick? Like a. Like a. A bird in the nest, I think they call it or something like that. [00:10:46] Speaker A: I've heard of that. [00:10:47] Speaker B: You cut the hole out of the center of a piece of toast and you put it in the pan and you gypsy bread and you drop the. We don't. [00:10:53] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. [00:10:54] Speaker B: We don't say that. A little more refined. [00:10:57] Speaker A: We gotta. You're gonna have to edit that out. [00:10:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Put a bleak over the top of it. Or replace it with a different word. Overdub it with you saying. Yeah. [00:11:07] Speaker A: He doesn't speak for Christian and I when he talks about gypsies. It's a pejorative time. [00:11:12] Speaker C: And their egg. [00:11:15] Speaker A: And their egg habits. Okay, so I just want to see if you're familiar with these other deals. These are the daily deals. You're going to get there today, two for one on the pizza puffs tomorrow. Have you ever had their five dollar sushi at Juul? [00:11:26] Speaker C: No. [00:11:26] Speaker B: That sounds dangerous. [00:11:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I know you're no Stranger to Friday's 9.99. Bucket of Wings or tenders? [00:11:36] Speaker B: A bucket of wings for 10 bucks for 9.99. [00:11:40] Speaker A: Yeah, sure. [00:11:41] Speaker B: See that. [00:11:42] Speaker A: Friday night you gotta. You got Friday night plans now, man. [00:11:44] Speaker B: Do I? [00:11:45] Speaker A: Yeah. How about Tuesday's Tender and Bites Chicken Tenders or boneless bites? $5 for a pound. You like tenders. [00:11:54] Speaker C: I know. If I get. No, if I normally get chicken, it's on Saturday. [00:11:57] Speaker A: Okay, well, we'll get to that. Super sub Sunday. How about a Sunday super sub? You get a big party sub. [00:12:05] Speaker C: I am not paying for sandwiches. [00:12:08] Speaker A: It's $5 for a ginormous sub. No, it's a deal. Okay. Because you'll make it yourself and you'll do it better. I'll make it cheap chicken Monday. [00:12:18] Speaker C: Won't be drowning in butter for a start. Holy shit. [00:12:21] Speaker A: For what? [00:12:23] Speaker B: Butter on his sub. [00:12:24] Speaker A: Nobody. Nobody puts butter on us. [00:12:25] Speaker B: I've never had butter on a sub in my life. [00:12:29] Speaker A: Huh. [00:12:29] Speaker C: Mayonnaise. [00:12:30] Speaker A: Oh, that's butter. [00:12:31] Speaker C: Well, I don't know, but vinegar. [00:12:34] Speaker A: Yeah, it's vinegar and egg. [00:12:36] Speaker B: It's vinegar and egg white. Yeah. [00:12:37] Speaker A: Cheap chicken Monday. 5.99 each for eight piece fried or grilled or spicy chicken. And this is the one I've got my eye on for you because you mentioned Saturday, you and the missus together for $6 half slab of ribs. [00:12:54] Speaker B: Oh, come on. That's awesome. [00:12:57] Speaker C: Six bucks. [00:12:57] Speaker A: You get two slabs, you each get a slab. [00:12:59] Speaker C: Why do they sell them at the jewels? [00:13:02] Speaker B: That's tough. [00:13:03] Speaker A: Add the add to where you get all the other stuff. [00:13:05] Speaker B: You can get a whole uncooked slab of ribs at pretty much any grocery store and cook them yourself at home. And I mean, they're not for six bucks. Yeah, right. [00:13:15] Speaker A: They're doing all the work. [00:13:16] Speaker B: Depends how big they are. [00:13:18] Speaker C: Jewel does this insane thing with ribs more or less the whole time. Now it's buy one, get two free. Have you seen that? [00:13:25] Speaker B: Maybe there's a surplus of ribs. [00:13:26] Speaker A: Yeah, buy one, get two free. [00:13:29] Speaker B: That's crazy. [00:13:30] Speaker A: Disgusting. [00:13:31] Speaker B: That's a three for one. [00:13:32] Speaker C: And it's like, you know, it's the full slab. So now you've got three. [00:13:36] Speaker B: Put two in the freezer, throw one in the oven. [00:13:39] Speaker C: Too much jewelry. [00:13:40] Speaker B: Oh, I'm. I'm heading there right after this. [00:13:43] Speaker A: You're getting hungry again? [00:13:44] Speaker B: Yes. [00:13:44] Speaker A: Right. [00:13:45] Speaker B: Go for some ribs. [00:13:46] Speaker C: Too much. [00:13:46] Speaker A: Well, not today. [00:13:47] Speaker B: Wait. [00:13:47] Speaker A: You got to wait till Saturday. All right, well, yeah, let's shift gears here. [00:13:54] Speaker B: Okay. [00:13:55] Speaker C: Is this the pre. We're still on pre review agenda. [00:13:58] Speaker A: Pre review? What do you mean before? [00:14:01] Speaker C: You always have an agenda. [00:14:02] Speaker A: I don't have any talking points. Do you have anything on your agenda? Let me get out of the way here for you guys. I don't want to steamroll the program, but if I don't, you'll say it's dead air and we'll just sit here in silence. [00:14:12] Speaker C: I'm just checking. Where are we in the pre review agenda? [00:14:16] Speaker A: We're about a quarter of a way there. [00:14:19] Speaker C: Because I'm looking at the time. [00:14:20] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah, the time. We've been at it for about 10 minutes, maybe eight minutes. Have you listened to our latest episode from last week you released? [00:14:30] Speaker B: Yes. [00:14:31] Speaker A: You didn't listen to It. [00:14:32] Speaker B: But you edited it. Yeah. [00:14:33] Speaker A: You had to have listened. [00:14:34] Speaker C: When I edit it, I just literally trim the ends off. If you've said anything offensive, I have to go find that. Get rid of that. [00:14:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Thank you. [00:14:44] Speaker C: That's it. Job done. [00:14:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:46] Speaker C: I'm in and out. Five minutes. [00:14:48] Speaker A: Yeah. So you'll remember if I said something offensive, you'll mark that down and go in there and take it out? Yeah. [00:14:53] Speaker C: Normally you'll tell me, can you pull that out? [00:14:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:56] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:57] Speaker A: Well, I was driving home Wednesday night from my son's basketball game, and I started getting these texts. I'm in a group chat with another listener. What are you looking at? [00:15:07] Speaker C: Keep your eyes off my paper agenda. [00:15:09] Speaker A: Keep your eyes off my paper. [00:15:10] Speaker C: Don't keep. Keep your agenda hidden. [00:15:12] Speaker A: Yeah, I do. I've got a hidden agenda. And this text started flying and driving Kate, because I'm on a group text with some. Some other listeners. Have you listened to this week's pod? No. Why? [00:15:29] Speaker C: Well. [00:15:29] Speaker A: Well. And I'm like, what? I'm like, what. [00:15:32] Speaker B: What are you. [00:15:33] Speaker A: What's. What are you. What are you saying here? He's like, bill, anything you want to get in front of here? [00:15:39] Speaker B: Who's. Who's trying to throw you under the bus like this? [00:15:41] Speaker A: One of our listeners. I know, I know. And he knows who he is. He's out there and he's listening. I haven't brought this up with him, though. All right. I've kept this. [00:15:48] Speaker B: Are they a friend of yours? [00:15:50] Speaker A: I thought. [00:15:50] Speaker B: It doesn't sound like it. [00:15:51] Speaker A: Right? Bill, anything you want to get in front of? I go, what are you talking about? [00:15:55] Speaker B: Right. [00:15:56] Speaker A: What do you mean? I knew it was the best selling episode, but I was like, what? And I'm racking my brain, like, what did I say on that show? I pulled the car over, right? [00:16:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:05] Speaker A: At a gas station to respond to some of these texts. And my wife goes radio silent, right? Not responding. [00:16:13] Speaker B: Podcast silent. [00:16:14] Speaker A: Yeah. She's not responding to these texts. Well, I get home and she comes out of her work to find me. There I go, hey, honey, how are you? What's up? I'm fine. Won't even look at me or even talk to me. [00:16:29] Speaker B: Come on. She's furious because I can't even think of what it could be about. [00:16:34] Speaker A: She's furious. Well, she hasn't listened to it yet. She hasn't heard it. But in the series of texts, the [00:16:38] Speaker B: guy says, throwing you under, Bill. Yeah. [00:16:40] Speaker A: Bill's being very flirty with Beth Stelling right. During the show. And I'm like, what? He's telling my wife I'm being flirty with her, and she's getting pissed. [00:16:50] Speaker B: He's got to hit an agenda. [00:16:51] Speaker A: Yeah, right? And she won't talk to me. Now we got this. Row. Row. You say row or row, and I go, honey, I didn't say anything for it. I wasn't flirty at all, right? I barely got a word, and this woman talked the entire time. Yeah, right. Gary wound her up, and then she went. And then it was over. I didn't say anything. So don't listen to this guy. He's just. He's just pushing your buttons, getting you riled up. She won't talk to me or whatever the whole night. I go. We go to bed not talking. I get in bed, I go, if you do this, I'm gonna be. I'm gonna go nuts because I didn't do anything. You're believing this guy, saying, I'm flirting with this woman. I'm not flirting with this woman. Right? But I'm sitting there laying in bed thinking, did I say something? Know what I do? Well, go to work, get up the next day, she's still not talking to me. We. We go through the morning routine with the kids, not talking to me. We're not talking to each other. I go off to work. I'm on the bus. I get a call from her. She's been out walking. All right? I listened to it. You're right. You weren't being flirty, but you were trying to impress her, right? Like, you wanted her to, like, know or think that you are a comedian or something. Know something about comedy or what, whatever. But he was wrong to say you were flirting. You weren't flirting. I see what you were doing. You're just trying to impress her. [00:18:05] Speaker B: Did she apologize for giving you a hard time right away before? [00:18:10] Speaker A: No. [00:18:10] Speaker B: Having a reason to or not to. [00:18:12] Speaker A: So then this goes on for another. So I'm like, okay, fine. I go. I know. I didn't. I didn't say I wasn't flirting with this woman. I respect you when I'm out in the world, not flirting with different women, right? So we took that call. But, you know, as the week goes on, I'm still pissed. I'm mad because she. She went after me before even listening to this other guy's word, right? That I was flirting with this woman, and she wants everything to go back to normal. But I. I'm having a hard time with it, right? We're watching a movie together. I'm kind of pushing her away. I don't want her leaning on me. Like, you know, we're not. We're not back to that. And has there. [00:18:48] Speaker B: Has it been resolved? [00:18:50] Speaker A: It has. It has. It took till quite a few more rows and then took to a breakfast stick. A breakfast. Well, yeah, it ended in a breakfast stick on Monday, but it went for a majority of the weekend. So this man I'm not gonna name, he knows who he is. [00:19:10] Speaker B: Is it Begain? [00:19:11] Speaker A: I'm not gonna say who it is. Planted a poison pill in my relationship. [00:19:18] Speaker B: Right. [00:19:18] Speaker A: And. Cause it was a huge rat and it worked and it caused a huge row. [00:19:22] Speaker C: It's a backsplash. Backstab. [00:19:25] Speaker A: I didn't say it was the backsplash guy. I have more friends than just him. Right. Like, you and I are mates. We established that a long time ago. So anyway, God bless it all. I mean, that. That podcast really got me in hot [00:19:39] Speaker B: water for no reason. [00:19:40] Speaker A: And she said, well, before we were. That day, I knew something was up. You were acting all strange before you went in there to record that podcast. I mean, I was like. I was just, you know, what about [00:19:51] Speaker B: the show at the show itself? Did you see. Well, she didn't know about it. [00:19:53] Speaker A: We went to the show that night. [00:19:54] Speaker B: But you had already gone in to do the podcast. Right. So if she noticed it, then wouldn't. The magnifying glass would be even closer during the show. But nothing came up about the show, did it? [00:20:05] Speaker A: No. [00:20:05] Speaker B: Well, it's odd. [00:20:07] Speaker C: Did I fuel the fire by giving you coconut scented deodorant, which I'm wearing today? [00:20:12] Speaker A: He's wearing. He's wearing. Yes. What is that scent you're wearing? You're wearing some strange new musk driving me wild. Yeah. [00:20:23] Speaker B: So. [00:20:23] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just. That day, like. Like you. We kind of talked about this. Like, I was. I. I don't know. I didn't think I was trying to impress her, but, like, I was very excited to have a Someone from tv. [00:20:36] Speaker B: Yeah, it was cool. [00:20:36] Speaker A: She's on tv. [00:20:37] Speaker B: Yeah, right. [00:20:38] Speaker A: I saw her on tv and now she's sitting right. [00:20:40] Speaker B: I know, exactly. We reviewed a whole special and. Yeah, yeah, now she's sitting right here. I know, I agree. [00:20:44] Speaker A: And I want her to like me, you know, because she doesn't. [00:20:46] Speaker B: Why wouldn't you? [00:20:47] Speaker A: Yeah, it's human nature flirting with her. [00:20:49] Speaker B: You're just a man. [00:20:51] Speaker A: So today I'm watching the. Today's episode. Why you guys, I'm watching today's episode and she. She wanders into the room while I'm watching it and she Looks at the. She looks up at the screen and here's what she says. This is the woman. Because she knew we told her we were doing. This is the woman. You're not going to be talking about sniffing her sheets. And that woman is Josie Long, whose sheets I will not want to sniff. We'll get to her in a little bit. But yeah, that was. That was a hell week for me. A hell week. And then on top of that, we get the sad news we lost one of Chicago's own comedians. Who. [00:21:33] Speaker C: Who? [00:21:35] Speaker A: Bang. David Bangkok. [00:21:37] Speaker C: I thought it was last week. [00:21:39] Speaker A: We didn't talk about that, did we? [00:21:40] Speaker C: No, I didn't. Okay. [00:21:41] Speaker A: Anyway, so I just want to say. Yeah. In memoriam to Bang Value Tansky, one [00:21:48] Speaker C: of the greats dedicating this episode. [00:21:49] Speaker A: I'm dedicating this episode to Bang. [00:21:51] Speaker C: All right. [00:21:51] Speaker A: Bang Value Tansky. He was a hot comedian at one point. Right on the rise. Yeah, he's very handsome, you know, charming, pithy. Pithy. He got that. He had that glint in his eye, you know, he's on stage. He could win a crown over. I don't need that 20 minute sign. I got the thing behind you. [00:22:09] Speaker B: Well, you got it wrong. Last time you guessed, it's already been 20. Okay. [00:22:13] Speaker A: Anyway. Oh, another thing I want to say is. Well, a couple things I have [00:22:21] Speaker B: your. [00:22:22] Speaker A: Your Mrs. Is in key West. I'll be heading down to Miami in a couple weeks and it's taking my two children down there for a few days of spring break at South Beach. And as a result, I have some tickets that I can't use. And I would love for you to. To go. I have two tickets for Friday, March 20th. Will you be here? [00:22:42] Speaker B: I believe so. Let me look at my pocket calendar. [00:22:44] Speaker A: I want you guys to go together. All right. Friday, March 20th, I'm open. Okay. Talia Hall, Friday night, sold out. Show to see Neil Hamburger and Tim Heidecker do their show on cinema at the cinema. [00:23:04] Speaker B: Right. [00:23:05] Speaker A: It's their. It's their funny movie review show. They're taking it on the road. Greg Turkington. [00:23:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:23:10] Speaker A: Turlington and Heidecker will be at the Tell you home. So we'd love for you guys to use the tickets. [00:23:16] Speaker B: I'm not familiar, but I'd be thrilled. Would you up? Yeah. [00:23:19] Speaker A: Bring him as a date. And if he does, you know, if he has social anxiety disorder, like, I'll [00:23:23] Speaker B: just start talking to whoever. [00:23:24] Speaker A: Bring Borky or whoever. Yeah. [00:23:25] Speaker B: Tally Hall. I've never been. [00:23:29] Speaker A: Oh, really? [00:23:29] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, you'll love it. [00:23:30] Speaker A: Yeah, you'll love it down in Pilsen. [00:23:33] Speaker C: Oh, you never been to Tallyah? [00:23:34] Speaker B: I've never been to Tally hall. Yeah. [00:23:36] Speaker C: Jesus. [00:23:36] Speaker B: I know. [00:23:38] Speaker A: In some ways, and this is why I wanted to go and why I want you guys to go. It's something of an inspiration for me. It's a review show. They review films in a funny way. And so I'd love for you to take it in. I have no idea what this. What this in person show will be like, but those guys are great. They're. They're great together. So. [00:23:56] Speaker B: Yeah, that sounds great. [00:23:58] Speaker A: All right, good. We took care of that problem. [00:23:59] Speaker C: I'll go. Thanks. [00:24:00] Speaker B: Yep. All right. [00:24:01] Speaker A: That'd be great. And then lastly, I want to say I was here this week. Didn't see you. I guess you don't work here during the week. No, but I popped in on Thursday. I got an invite from my friend Christian over here for dueling pianos. And I after dinner, I shot over here, slinked in the back, and man, what a show. Have you seen this program he puts on? [00:24:21] Speaker C: I've seen it. [00:24:22] Speaker A: I don't know what you're paying, but you need to pay him more, right? [00:24:25] Speaker C: Seen a bit of. [00:24:26] Speaker A: Yeah, this is like the most bizarre [00:24:28] Speaker B: variety show you've ever seen in your life. You've seen it back when it was just a dueling piano show, Mark, but now it's a full on variety show. [00:24:36] Speaker C: Can I take credit for that? [00:24:37] Speaker B: Can you take credit for that? No, no. The cabaret show that I took, that I went to go see in Paris can take credit for that because I came back raving about it. And then Borky said, why don't we just do that here? [00:24:48] Speaker A: That's the inspiration for your show. [00:24:49] Speaker C: I'd like to lodge a protest. [00:24:52] Speaker B: Pun intended. [00:24:55] Speaker C: I told Borky, maybe not you, but I definitively told Borky. Why don't you make the dueling pianos more a variety show where you're kind of the color. The color commentator. [00:25:09] Speaker A: Well, that's exactly what she's doing it. Yeah, she's doing that. She took that note. [00:25:13] Speaker C: Yeah. Again, Gary of entertainment is frozen out. [00:25:19] Speaker A: Yeah. The wizard of Oz. Gary, always. You've always been the wizard of Oz. [00:25:22] Speaker C: I've always been frozen out of the credits. [00:25:24] Speaker B: Well, I. Yeah, I mean, it was awesome. [00:25:27] Speaker A: You got to say it. When is it next? It's every other week. [00:25:30] Speaker B: We do it about every three months. [00:25:32] Speaker A: Oh, I thought it was. Oh, it's your other show. [00:25:34] Speaker B: That's every two weeks. [00:25:36] Speaker A: Do you do the same thing in Galway? [00:25:37] Speaker B: No, that's an open jam. Where other Musicians are welcome to come up and join if they'd like to. And we never know if they're going [00:25:42] Speaker A: to play along with the song you're playing. [00:25:44] Speaker B: Yes. Song charts written up and everything. [00:25:46] Speaker A: I wasn't there for the entirety of the six hour show, but did you ever have any of that during? Because I didn't see any of that where they were jamming with you. [00:25:54] Speaker B: We didn't have any amateurs come up and perform with us, but I could [00:25:57] Speaker A: do that if I wanted to. [00:25:59] Speaker B: At the Galway Open Jam. Yes. That's. It's all structured around getting people that would normally not have the courage or not have the. The just the ability to get on somewhere to come up and play as loud or as quiet as they want with us. And we kind of like guided along, you know, keep it moving and. Yeah, people come up there sometimes just bang on a cowbell. [00:26:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:21] Speaker C: Bill always likes it when people who don't necessarily have the ability or get up there. Yeah, I do your favorite thing. [00:26:28] Speaker B: I am careful to weed them out, though. A lot of times people kind of try to turn into a karaoke with. With. Well, yeah. So that's when I'll say, oh, we'll get it to you later. I have. I'm pretty good at having a sense of who should come up and who shouldn't. And if somebody comes up and they're absolutely terrible, I say, okay, we'll get you back up in a little bit. You know, we got a lot of people to get to. [00:26:48] Speaker C: Do you have any regulars, like the middle aged woman that comes in and sings I Will Survive while crying? [00:26:55] Speaker B: There are no. We don't have anything depressing like that. [00:26:58] Speaker C: I would come for that. [00:27:01] Speaker B: I have a feeling you would. We do have a regular. My friend John Becker has, except for when his daughter was born, I don't think has missed a single one. He gets up there and plays the ukulele and he's got a whole bunch of pedals for it to make it sound like an electric ukulele. It is an electric ukulele and it makes different. Like he joins in on like on Creep. And we do Creep by. No. Yeah, Creep by Radiohead or if we do Zombie, he'll Ukulele. It's pretty funky. [00:27:28] Speaker C: You know Steve Gadlin? No, probably not. [00:27:30] Speaker B: No. [00:27:30] Speaker C: He's sort of a famous local scenester. He created a fish fart pedal which turns guitar. [00:27:38] Speaker B: I've heard of this fart. I think we talked about this. [00:27:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:27:41] Speaker B: Either on this or just while walking around doing something. Guy, you know What? Next birthday. That's what's happening. [00:27:47] Speaker C: All right. [00:27:47] Speaker A: We have CJ come in and play his slide whistle. Remember he used to do that? [00:27:51] Speaker B: That's the other thing. This guy. This guy's got a. A brass kazoo that he'll whip out during some kazoo solos. [00:27:59] Speaker A: Nice. [00:28:00] Speaker B: We play that yak. But then he does the. What's the Benny Hill song? It sounds like yakty sax. Right. So he'll play the yakety sax solo during Yakety Yak. [00:28:11] Speaker A: That's not Benny Hill, though. Yakety sax. [00:28:13] Speaker B: Isn't it? It's featured in Benny Hill. [00:28:14] Speaker C: It's a artist called Boots Randolph. [00:28:17] Speaker B: Yes. [00:28:19] Speaker A: It's nice to have a British encyclopedia set right here. [00:28:23] Speaker B: Yep. [00:28:23] Speaker A: We can. [00:28:24] Speaker C: I bet you wanted one during Josie Long. [00:28:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Translator here. For sure. For sure. [00:28:33] Speaker B: All right. [00:28:34] Speaker A: Well, what's on your agenda? So you have anything you want to bring up? Bones to pick? Sundry items. Any sundry items to discuss? Not really, no. [00:28:44] Speaker B: We covered what we eat for breakfast. [00:28:48] Speaker A: We always talk about our food. [00:28:51] Speaker B: We did. Nobody chewed on the mic. I did at the beginning. [00:28:54] Speaker A: Unless I don't know if it was recorded. But I did that because we had some listener feedback. [00:28:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:59] Speaker A: Telling us somebody. [00:29:00] Speaker B: Yeah, somebody's upset about that. The mouth noises on the microphone. [00:29:04] Speaker A: Well, now we're eating in the lobby. [00:29:05] Speaker B: Yeah. And then we wasted all our good material out there. [00:29:08] Speaker A: We did. [00:29:08] Speaker B: We did. [00:29:09] Speaker A: So, yeah, we have to figure out [00:29:11] Speaker B: a workaround for that. [00:29:12] Speaker A: Let's. From now on, let's just. Food or no food. We just beine it right in here. Hit the mic, and we just go. [00:29:19] Speaker B: Right. [00:29:20] Speaker A: Let's just go now. We won't even talk to each other in the lobby. Just let me in. [00:29:23] Speaker B: You just be. You just be waiting. [00:29:26] Speaker C: We just nod and salute. [00:29:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:28] Speaker A: Yep. [00:29:28] Speaker B: Not a peep. [00:29:30] Speaker A: Save all that gold. [00:29:33] Speaker B: Right? [00:29:34] Speaker A: Last things I'll forget. And this has nothing to do with anything, but I need these. Do you have bolt cutters, either one of you? [00:29:40] Speaker B: Yes. [00:29:40] Speaker A: You do? [00:29:41] Speaker B: I do. At home. [00:29:42] Speaker A: Will they cut a lock, like. [00:29:44] Speaker B: I'm sure they're like a Kryptonite lock. I don't remember where I got them, but they're like this big. [00:29:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:49] Speaker A: And you think maybe I get them next week? I got two. Two bikes in front of my house. I got a. No locks. Get off. [00:29:56] Speaker B: Just text me Wednesday morning. I'll throw it in my backpack. [00:29:58] Speaker A: Sweet. That's a lot for you. [00:29:59] Speaker B: My backpack. [00:30:00] Speaker A: It's a lot for you to care. All right. Today's comedian, Josie Long. I've Never heard of this bonnie lass. Would you refer to her as a bonnie lass? You would? What? How do you define a bonnie lass versus just a lass? [00:30:18] Speaker B: What? Yeah, I guess. What's Bonnie? [00:30:21] Speaker C: Bonnie, you know Bonnie. [00:30:23] Speaker A: No, I don't, [00:30:26] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:30:26] Speaker A: Okay. You won't take that? [00:30:28] Speaker C: No. Cuz I'm just gonna have to edit out whatever I say anyway. I don't want to waste my own time. [00:30:35] Speaker B: Ah, there we go. [00:30:36] Speaker C: No losing. Losing listeners by the minute. [00:30:41] Speaker A: Who doesn't like it? Scanlon. Where's Scanlan? Get him in here. [00:30:44] Speaker B: Yeah, where is Scanlon, the scan man? [00:30:46] Speaker C: He doesn't come in on Wednesday. [00:30:47] Speaker B: He's not up yet. Yeah, it's too early. [00:30:51] Speaker A: Had you ever heard of this comedian Mark chose for us? Josie Long? [00:30:55] Speaker B: No, Josie Long. I had not. I thought her last name was very appropriate for it being an hour and 22 minutes though. [00:31:00] Speaker A: Did you guys? Yeah, when I saw that I was like, oof. But was it because it was intercut with all those ads. Did you have to sit through all the ads? [00:31:08] Speaker B: I didn't sit there. Any ads. [00:31:09] Speaker A: What? [00:31:09] Speaker B: Nothing at all? Oh, cuz I've got YouTube Premium. [00:31:11] Speaker A: Oh, do you don't. [00:31:12] Speaker C: No. [00:31:13] Speaker B: You wouldn't pay for. [00:31:13] Speaker C: No, no, I sat through ads. [00:31:15] Speaker B: I knew that through all those political [00:31:16] Speaker C: ads it really is getting to be a lot of ads. [00:31:19] Speaker B: Oh, that's terrible. And so how long was yours? Like two hours. [00:31:23] Speaker A: It said 122 and a half. It said one, but after the ads, I don't know if it's including the ads. [00:31:28] Speaker B: Mine was 122 without ads then mine [00:31:29] Speaker A: was 122 plus ads. [00:31:31] Speaker B: Exactly. It's probably 40 minutes of ads. [00:31:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:31:33] Speaker A: Long. [00:31:36] Speaker B: Half your life you sat there. [00:31:37] Speaker A: Yeah. And like if you, if you watch, you know, if you have other service, what do you call it? Streaming? Whatever. They have ads. But the ads are at least somewhat thoughtfully interspersed with the program. In this one, I don't know if you noticed she might be mid bit in the middle of a sentence and it would just go right to the ad. [00:31:59] Speaker B: Oh, that'll ruin it. [00:32:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:32:01] Speaker A: And the ads were 95, 97% political. Melissa Conyers, Irvin talking bad about Julius Stratton and vice versa. All these, you know, subpar. What did you get? Do you think that they're tailored for our. [00:32:15] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely. [00:32:15] Speaker A: Oh, what ads did you get? [00:32:18] Speaker C: I don't, I can't vote, so I don't look at political stuff. So I, I don't look at political stuff. I just get stuff. [00:32:23] Speaker A: How do they know you can't vote. [00:32:24] Speaker B: I just say it like that. [00:32:25] Speaker A: I don't look at political stuff. That was weird. What were your ads? Are you too embarrassed to say? [00:32:34] Speaker C: I mean, my ads are just usual [00:32:36] Speaker A: household bullshit because you're always looking up DIY shit. [00:32:41] Speaker C: Having been with Heather for so long, I literally hit the mute button within half a second of the ad. I do that too, so I don't have a clue. [00:32:49] Speaker A: You don't, because you just can't stand to hear the ad. [00:32:50] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I do the same thing. I'll just hit mute. [00:32:53] Speaker A: And then you just stare at it. It's done. And then hit me. [00:32:55] Speaker C: If I have the remote and an ad starts playing and I let that ad run for three seconds. Now I've got. I've got the misses glaring at me [00:33:06] Speaker A: because you don't like the ad. [00:33:07] Speaker B: Oh, so you're hitting mute for. For Heather. For Heather's sake or for yours? [00:33:12] Speaker C: Think about it. She plays it through a hearing aid now, so I'm not even doing it for her. But anyway, if you mute the tv, [00:33:20] Speaker B: does it also mute the hearing aid? No, it doesn't mute all the outputs. [00:33:24] Speaker A: She can probably mute it, right? [00:33:25] Speaker B: Just be like. [00:33:26] Speaker C: Yeah, she just collects. Yeah. But anyway, before those days, it used to be, you better be goddamn fast on that mute button, Sonny Jim, or I'm gonna be glaring at you. Why are we listening to adverts? [00:33:40] Speaker A: Okay, well, I got almost all political ads. Not sure why. It was a political science major in college. I think they know that. Yes, we do. [00:33:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:47] Speaker A: Yeah. But there was one ad that was political. Only one. And it really caught my attention because as I'm listening to the ad, what I hear is, my husband used to ejaculate so prematurely, but now he's like, I got him this. And he's. Can you say ejaculate in an ad? [00:34:11] Speaker B: I guess so. [00:34:12] Speaker A: Like, I know erectile dysfunction. They've been dancing around stuff like that, but now they're just saying ejaculate. [00:34:17] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't. Nothing matters. [00:34:20] Speaker A: But now there are pills for premature ejaculation. Did you know this? [00:34:25] Speaker C: Yeah, I found one behind our. [00:34:27] Speaker B: No, that's. That's for. [00:34:29] Speaker A: Yeah, it was just a boner pill. [00:34:31] Speaker C: I don't know about pills. You. You know, do you wanna. I mean, you don't know about them, [00:34:38] Speaker A: meaning you're wary of them or you just. Now you don't understand them. [00:34:42] Speaker C: I want to be able to piss standing up still when I'm 64. [00:34:46] Speaker B: Right. [00:34:48] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:34:49] Speaker A: Well, I don't know, maybe this is too much information, but I've been drinking more. Why? I got this new water bottle. You see this new water bottle? Yeah. [00:34:55] Speaker B: It's nice. It says make swell on the side. [00:34:57] Speaker A: Swell. And it's good faux wood. [00:34:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:00] Speaker A: Teak wood on it. It makes me drink more water and I'm carrying it everywhere and drink a lot more water and I'm getting up in the middle of the night to pee. But I've noticed that. I don't know if it's the water or what, but I'm having P. Boners. [00:35:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Because the. I read this one time something about Related. Yeah. Something about your bladder then pushes against the prostate and it stops the blood from being able to escape. [00:35:26] Speaker C: It's all prostate related. Your prostate is shrinking at an alarming rate. [00:35:32] Speaker A: Wait, I thought it's growing, isn't it a growing prostate that makes you. Is it. It's prostate. Because I always want to say prostrate. [00:35:42] Speaker C: I thought for older men shrinking was the problem. [00:35:45] Speaker A: No, I thought it's growing. I've got a grapefruit. [00:35:49] Speaker B: Enlarged prostate are what people are looking out for. [00:35:52] Speaker A: So I hope you're right. It is shrinking. [00:35:55] Speaker B: Testosterone shrinks. [00:35:56] Speaker C: What killed Ryan Sandberg? Growth or shrinkage? [00:36:01] Speaker A: He had testicular cancer. No. [00:36:03] Speaker C: Was he? [00:36:04] Speaker A: You had a cancer? Oh, maybe it's prostate cancer. Oh, we're talking about something else. Christ almighty. [00:36:13] Speaker B: All right. [00:36:13] Speaker A: Anyway, I thought you were getting the same ads. I don't know why I would think that ejaculates a lot though. [00:36:19] Speaker B: Yeah, ejaculate is a lot to just kind of willy nilly throw out there on an advertisement. [00:36:24] Speaker A: Yeah. I wonder how that pill works. I mean the. So I guess the. And I don't take these pills. I don't. As you say. I don't know about these pills, but the, the. The erectile dysfunction pill will make you turgid, right? [00:36:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:38] Speaker A: And ready to perform. But it won't prevent premature ejaculation. [00:36:42] Speaker B: You can just take. [00:36:42] Speaker A: Kind of like the old lady who swallowed the fly. You got to take this pill to get this and then you got to take the other pill behind it so that you don't get too excited. [00:36:49] Speaker B: That's such a racket. That's such a snake oil racket. [00:36:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:52] Speaker B: Premature ejaculation. Just control yourself. [00:36:54] Speaker A: Easier said than done, friend. [00:36:56] Speaker C: Do you put snake oil on there as well? [00:36:59] Speaker A: I don't think it's snake. I was using a. Some kind of viper. On your arthritis. [00:37:07] Speaker C: Your one eyed trouser snake. [00:37:09] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:10] Speaker A: Yeah. All right. Well, Mark, I Don't you know, last week we were here and you. I hope you know that you're picking today. [00:37:19] Speaker B: Yes, I do. [00:37:19] Speaker A: You didn't know, right? Until, like, what? [00:37:22] Speaker B: Huh? [00:37:22] Speaker A: And then you started fumbling around with your wallet or something, and then you came out with this. Josie Long. [00:37:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:37:29] Speaker A: Had you been thinking about choosing her for a while? Was this just the first thing that popped in your head? [00:37:34] Speaker C: It was a bit of a panic, buy. [00:37:36] Speaker A: It seemed like a panic. [00:37:37] Speaker C: I've been reading. I had been reading that she's very well thought of amongst comedians. She's a comedian's comedian. But I was. I was. I wanted to do more research and I kind of. I went home and I actually watched the first five minutes to see, oh, [00:37:56] Speaker A: what have I picked after you picked it, so. Oh, so you hadn't heard. I mean, you'd heard of her, but you didn't. Hadn't seen her either. [00:38:01] Speaker C: No, I didn't. [00:38:02] Speaker B: If you remember too, Mark said, this is the one I'm 90% sure we're gonna do, but let me review real quick and I'll text you and confirm. [00:38:10] Speaker C: So I go home, I watch it. I'm like, oh, God, this is terrible. I watched the first five minutes and then I started thinking, you know what? Let me. I can part. I can. I can play my way out of this. I'll just say I picked the wrong person. [00:38:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:23] Speaker C: Thinking it was someone else. So I found a British female comedian that I really do think is good. And I was gonna. I was basically gonna hoodwink. [00:38:33] Speaker B: You were playing. [00:38:33] Speaker A: We call that an audible. [00:38:34] Speaker B: You're planning to lie. [00:38:35] Speaker C: Yeah, I was gonna lie to you both and say, oh, no, I meant to say this one instead. [00:38:41] Speaker A: Who was that? Or who would that have been? [00:38:42] Speaker C: Sarah Pasco. [00:38:44] Speaker B: But, yeah, those sound similar. No one would have seen through that. [00:38:47] Speaker C: You can't find. [00:38:48] Speaker A: I wouldn't have. [00:38:49] Speaker C: British comedians just don't put out specials. [00:38:52] Speaker A: No. Why. Why is that? Stuart Lee sure does. [00:38:54] Speaker C: Stuart Lee. [00:38:55] Speaker A: I got a thumb drive full of 20 of them at home. [00:38:57] Speaker C: And like. So I was. I was like, okay, there's got to be a Sarah Pasco one here that we can watch. And you cannot find Hide nor hair. She has a. She has one from a few years ago called Lads, Lads, Lads. But all you can find is clips. And because it's BBC, it's behind a myriad of protective, kind of like Valby. [00:39:17] Speaker A: It's hard to find a Valby special. [00:39:19] Speaker C: So in the end, I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna have to brazen this out and say, yep, I absolutely meant to pick Josie Long. And. And let's all just sit back and enjoy it. [00:39:28] Speaker A: Yeah, listen, we don't. I, I like the spirit of that pick. You're picking someone you've heard of, but you don't know. You don't have to. You're not trying to win us over [00:39:36] Speaker B: soon from the hip, right? [00:39:37] Speaker A: Let's just check it out. [00:39:38] Speaker C: Well, I mean, if we're getting into the review here, the first five minutes of this special is so weak. It was embarrassing to me. It's like, God, this looks embarrassing to pick this. [00:39:49] Speaker A: What about the other 118 minutes of the special? Or I'm sorry, hour and 18 minutes. [00:39:56] Speaker C: Well, here's what I'll say. This is our pricey. This whole thing. Five minutes into this, I thought, my God, this is weak. How can this woman be the comedians, comedian, the one they admire? But then she suddenly got me. She. You know, one of them ones where you're like, okay, will you get me now? [00:40:15] Speaker B: Do you know which joke it was that got you? [00:40:17] Speaker C: It wasn't. It was when she started doing the old time Hollywood talking. She's like, hey, you know, remember that bitch? [00:40:23] Speaker A: Pretty deep in. [00:40:24] Speaker C: Yeah, I thought it was fairly. [00:40:26] Speaker A: She does those voices a lot throughout, so I don't. Maybe I missed one, but I think she does. [00:40:30] Speaker B: Yeah, she does the. The first time. Pretty early though, too. [00:40:32] Speaker A: Yeah, okay, maybe I missed that one. [00:40:34] Speaker C: So I was like, okay, okay, we're not. This isn't a total waste. And at this point now I'm hooked in. She's really up the game. She's doing a lot of stuff about, you know, literature and like, really kind of amping it up and. But I just kept falling in step. And then she would do the screeching voice thing. Yeah, I fucking hate it. [00:41:01] Speaker B: That was tough. [00:41:02] Speaker C: The whole goddamn special was like a sine wave for me. Up and down, up and down. [00:41:08] Speaker A: What's a sine wave? [00:41:09] Speaker B: Sin E. No, the. The trigonometry. Okay. [00:41:13] Speaker A: S I, N E. Oh, yeah, it's [00:41:17] Speaker B: short on the calculator. [00:41:18] Speaker C: Yeah. So peaks and troughs. One minute she would have me loving it and thinking, this is amazing. And then the next minute I'll be like, oh, stop using that voice. [00:41:30] Speaker B: It's funny. I was just looking at my notes. I had started it and then I had stopped it to pick up a phone call and I had written down because I was worried I was gonna lose my place. So I'd written down five minutes and then the first thing I've written Down after that is the smoking film noir bit, which is the voice. So it was at five minutes. [00:41:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:49] Speaker A: Okay, so it was the same thing. [00:41:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:50] Speaker A: Right around five minutes, you guys. [00:41:53] Speaker B: She had already gotten me before that. The one that won me over was her comparison of war to love. Being in a relationship to war. So I just have written down love to war comparison. Great. Off after that. Off being a good thing. Like off to the races. [00:42:09] Speaker A: Off to the races. Yeah. Well, first of all, let me just say, I don't know if you. You saw his notes on the bar earlier when he. Before he came in. He's got very extensive notes. White lined paper. Hold up the notes so he can see your. Your drawings. Look at him. [00:42:25] Speaker B: He drew. [00:42:25] Speaker C: He drew her so the listeners can see. [00:42:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, no, but it's for you. But Christian, you were really upping your game from where you would fall asleep in most of these to where you wouldn't even bother to watch them at times. Or you would lie and say you'd watched it until we asked more questions. And then you would admit that you hadn't watched it as recently as last week during Valby when you turned it off and discussed. And now here you are with very quick, extensive notes. [00:42:54] Speaker B: One week turnaround. [00:42:55] Speaker A: Yeah. What's going on in your life? You got a little spring in your step. [00:42:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't know. Spring's approaching. [00:42:59] Speaker A: Feels like it. [00:43:01] Speaker C: Did you find the. This, the light, the stripe top distracting then? [00:43:06] Speaker B: I was. I do have written down horizontal stripes. [00:43:09] Speaker A: Maybe a bad choice. [00:43:10] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know. Seems brave. [00:43:13] Speaker A: It looks like I said to him earlier, it looked like she was wearing like a. Like a 1920s strongman outfit. You know, the guys that would lift the waist. [00:43:22] Speaker B: Handlebar mustache. [00:43:23] Speaker A: Handlebar mustache. [00:43:25] Speaker B: Shaved head. [00:43:26] Speaker A: Yeah. Prison jumper. Yeah. I found that to be a bit of a distraction. The dress, [00:43:36] Speaker B: it certainly set out for me. At least it set out for me to. Made it more difficult for me to start liking her material. Just her appearance alone. When she first got on stage, I immediately wanted to not like her. [00:43:51] Speaker C: I don't wash my hair. [00:43:53] Speaker A: Yeah, well, she said, yeah, to stay so youthful looking. She stays chubby and doesn't wash her face or something like that. Well, when she came out, I thought, I really liked her appearance. Not so much the dress or anything, but she has a very sunny disposition. [00:44:11] Speaker B: You're gonna get a text in the group chat now. [00:44:14] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. Wading back in. [00:44:17] Speaker A: Let me say to any listeners out there, this isn't veiled interest in this person sexually. So I very much Liked her when she came out. Who did she remind you of? Just physically. Not her body necessarily, but her face. Who does she favor? As they say, John Candy. [00:44:41] Speaker C: Half of the women I grew up with in England. [00:44:43] Speaker A: Stop. Really? This is an average lass over there. [00:44:48] Speaker C: Rosy cheeked Rosie. English rose. [00:44:52] Speaker A: English rose. I don't know what that means, but okay, so that. Yeah, okay. She's your average English lass. So no other celebrity that she favors to you? I'm always doing this because someone always strikes me as somebody else. [00:45:07] Speaker B: Who is it for you? [00:45:07] Speaker A: She to me is the British Lena Dunham. [00:45:10] Speaker B: I don't know who that is. [00:45:11] Speaker A: What? [00:45:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:12] Speaker C: Oh, she was fashionable 10 years ago, right? [00:45:14] Speaker A: Yeah, I know she is now. She did girls the show Girl called Adam Driver, HBO show. She's. Yeah, she's very sexual and gets naked all the time. These shows, despite her non tradition. Non traditional. I don't know what non traditional beauty? Yeah, her non traditional beauty. She's chubby. [00:45:34] Speaker C: She met. She was. She was the object of ire for every incel male comedian for about three years. [00:45:41] Speaker B: Why people keep saying incel. What does that mean? [00:45:43] Speaker C: Just because she was peaceful and I don't know what I. I never saw her. [00:45:48] Speaker A: Why would an incel know. Incel means involuntarily non celibate, meaning guys, involuntary cell. I'm sorry. Yes. Involuntary involuntarily celibate mean they can't get girls. [00:45:58] Speaker B: Okay, sure. [00:45:59] Speaker A: To make love to them because of [00:46:01] Speaker C: your right wing views. [00:46:03] Speaker A: So why would an incel not like. Oh, would not like Lena Dunham? Because she would make love to them. [00:46:10] Speaker C: No, a lot of the male comedians. [00:46:15] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I thought so too. Right. I think she's a lot of. [00:46:17] Speaker C: Oh, so you're an incel right wing comedian. [00:46:19] Speaker A: No, I'm very. I'm very. [00:46:22] Speaker C: You're very cell. [00:46:23] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I'm. No, I'm not cell. I'm very non cell. Yeah. They call me the breakfast stick around Roscoe village. Hey, there goes the breakfast stick. Okay, so you didn't think she looked like Lena Dunham? You know, she looks like. Do you think she looks like Lena Dunham? [00:46:40] Speaker C: I mean, I vaguely recall Lena Dunham's book. [00:46:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:43] Speaker A: Okay. Look it up later. I thought it was, you know, I was just looking at the first. I didn't know where this was taking place, so. London. Soho Theater in London. [00:46:53] Speaker C: Soho Theater, interestingly enough, very much. [00:46:55] Speaker A: You performed there back in the day. You cut your teeth. [00:46:57] Speaker C: Inspiration for this place. [00:47:00] Speaker A: No. [00:47:01] Speaker C: Mm, no. [00:47:04] Speaker A: Really? Well, how so? Because it doesn't really look stage wise. Like their stage. [00:47:08] Speaker C: But it's. It's like this place, a sort of maze of little. [00:47:12] Speaker A: Oh, it's a similar. Were you tell me about that? [00:47:15] Speaker C: Yeah, I took. Yeah, I went to see a guy called Simon Monterey there when we did the tour, and I took Cameron Esposito and I went to see it. I went in the place and there's, you know, cues for little theaters. And I thought, oh, this is, you know, this is. This is how you do it. [00:47:34] Speaker A: Labyrinthine. [00:47:35] Speaker C: Yeah. But you know, little fairs. Not the big, you know, Enormo dome. [00:47:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Not one big theater, but. [00:47:42] Speaker C: And a lot of development, a lot of chance taking going on. Yeah. I was like, this is how you do it. [00:47:49] Speaker A: You ever take any of these cast members on a tour? [00:47:54] Speaker C: I did two. [00:47:55] Speaker A: When's the last tour? [00:47:56] Speaker C: Oh, years ago. I just gave up. [00:47:58] Speaker A: You're not doing that anymore? [00:47:59] Speaker C: No. [00:48:00] Speaker A: Foot the bell to bring them over there. [00:48:02] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:02] Speaker B: What up? Little side note, as I'm looking at your socks over here, I forgot to mention I wore the old style socks that you're giving me to a wedding on Saturday. [00:48:10] Speaker A: Oh, those are nice. They were. They're like almost a dress sock thin, right? [00:48:13] Speaker B: Yeah, they're perfect because if you just show the bottom of the ankle, it's just a few, like, brightly colored stripes going by. But if you really want to show them what it's all about, you cross your legs and all of a sudden your pant leg comes up a little bit. People say, this guy likes to party. [00:48:25] Speaker A: That's right. Nice conversation piece. Where who got married? [00:48:28] Speaker B: A couple of Borky's friends. Fun downtown. Yeah, it was a great wedding. [00:48:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Get loaded up. Get all loaded up. Yeah, yeah. Nice. No, but I thought like, it was if I was in the audience at this show for Josie Long, the stage is set higher. [00:48:47] Speaker B: Right. [00:48:48] Speaker A: Than your stage. Or it's a high set stage. [00:48:51] Speaker B: Right. [00:48:51] Speaker A: And they're kind of low. [00:48:52] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:48:53] Speaker A: Like looking up at her and she's in this dress, right. That's, you know, at her thigh. And I'm thinking, like, if I'm sitting in that front row, I can see right up her skirt. [00:49:02] Speaker B: That crossed my mind too. Right. [00:49:05] Speaker A: Like, I'm getting a visual there. [00:49:07] Speaker B: So I would not be able to [00:49:08] Speaker A: be like, I'd be like the whole time not because I'm pig, but like. Okay. [00:49:11] Speaker B: Like [00:49:14] Speaker A: I'm looking up her skirt or if I just go like that, I can see upper skirt, I think. [00:49:18] Speaker C: Yeah. Now you think of it. It was kind of like a high cafe. [00:49:21] Speaker B: Yeah. And the front row Was sat right up against it. So they're looking straight up at her. [00:49:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:27] Speaker A: Why have. In all your shows, you know, going from the Red line to the old lodge to this. This lodge, you do a low stage, you know, like a two inch stage. [00:49:36] Speaker C: Socialism. [00:49:37] Speaker A: Huh? [00:49:38] Speaker C: Socialism. [00:49:39] Speaker A: What does that have to do with it? Oh, keep them low. [00:49:42] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:43] Speaker A: You don't want to go too, too much higher than the audience. Keep everybody on the same level. That's a, that's a concerted decision. [00:49:52] Speaker C: And the fact that I've always had to make my own stage. [00:49:54] Speaker B: Too much money. And also just move them around easier. [00:50:00] Speaker A: It would be funny to have a giant stage in there. [00:50:03] Speaker C: I don't, you know, I don't think I've ever. [00:50:04] Speaker B: So weird. [00:50:05] Speaker C: I don't think I've ever had a permanent stage. [00:50:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:07] Speaker C: Ever. [00:50:09] Speaker A: Literally built into the ground. [00:50:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:11] Speaker C: I would freak it phase me. [00:50:13] Speaker A: There's probably some psychoanalysis behind that. [00:50:16] Speaker C: If I can't walk, it's because I'm from a broken home. As I have to, I have to be. I have to. [00:50:21] Speaker A: Transient. [00:50:22] Speaker C: I have to always know I can [00:50:23] Speaker B: walk up and leave. [00:50:24] Speaker A: Yeah, grab your stage and leave because you're not going to be here very long. Yeah, I'm sure there's something to that. All right, well, I don't know. I mean, you want to get into these bits. Yeah, yeah. You talked about the, the war bit. You talked about her voices doing that. She's very manicy. Right. To me it's like. Which I thought. I think I remember you saying you didn't like. [00:50:48] Speaker C: All right, so I want to know from you guys, how long did it take you to work out what a love bite is? Translate it. [00:50:55] Speaker B: Oh, I knew immediately. [00:50:56] Speaker A: I knew immediately. It took me no time at all. [00:50:58] Speaker B: As soon as she said it. [00:50:59] Speaker C: It's a hickey. [00:50:59] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:51:00] Speaker C: Huh. [00:51:01] Speaker A: Yeah. My, my children come home with love bites. And so it's almost like a thing these days with the youth. When we were kids, you didn't. Nobody walked around. [00:51:12] Speaker C: Oh, no. [00:51:13] Speaker A: It was like, come on. [00:51:14] Speaker C: It was kind of. [00:51:14] Speaker A: Now it's like. [00:51:15] Speaker C: It's a low class thing. [00:51:16] Speaker A: Yeah, it's low class. Yeah. [00:51:18] Speaker B: Yeah. It was embarrassing if you showed up at school with a love bite. [00:51:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:51:21] Speaker C: But I always remember the, the, the young lass on the, on the counter at Windsor Street Video Rental just had love, but just all up her neck. [00:51:32] Speaker B: This is the second time she's come up. [00:51:34] Speaker C: Yeah, Just all same mic. [00:51:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:36] Speaker A: When did it come up before? [00:51:37] Speaker B: I don't remember, but I, I know the story. I remember she thinks about it a lot. She was the one that I would [00:51:41] Speaker C: let us rent a porno. [00:51:42] Speaker B: Yeah. That's why. [00:51:43] Speaker C: Yeah. And. And you know why we went to her? She's just. Just a neck. Looked like a leopard almost. [00:51:50] Speaker B: Yeah, that's of hickey. [00:51:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:51] Speaker B: That stands out. That doesn't. That's. That's indelible. [00:51:53] Speaker A: You're not going to forget. [00:51:54] Speaker B: That's something you don't forget. Yeah. [00:51:55] Speaker A: Burned in your brain. [00:51:56] Speaker C: I remember the first time I saw Greece and they kept going a hickey from Hickey. [00:52:00] Speaker A: And we're all hickey from Kaneki. [00:52:02] Speaker C: What? What the is a hickey? [00:52:04] Speaker A: Hickey. So you call them love bites. [00:52:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:52:06] Speaker A: You've always known that term? [00:52:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:52:09] Speaker A: Okay, so, yeah, at first it was hard for me to attune my ear to British talk. There's a lot of British talk in this program. Right. But I being around you as much as I am now, my ear is pretty, pretty tuned. So I can jump right in and understand pretty much everything. But I don't understand every one that she references. For instance, who is Joanna Newsom? [00:52:32] Speaker C: She's actually an American musician. [00:52:35] Speaker A: Oh, I know her. That's who she's talking about. [00:52:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:52:37] Speaker A: Oh, I thought it was somebody else, but I didn't. I didn't get that. Who's Nigel Farage? Farage. [00:52:43] Speaker C: He's this right wing twat, shall we say? It's like a far right wing idiot. [00:52:50] Speaker B: He doesn't like foreigners, does he? [00:52:51] Speaker C: He doesn't like foreigners. [00:52:54] Speaker B: Grasp that? [00:52:55] Speaker C: Yep. [00:52:56] Speaker A: Okay. Those are the only ones I didn't know. [00:53:01] Speaker C: I felt like there might be more. [00:53:02] Speaker B: There might have been a whole bunch. [00:53:04] Speaker C: I was really kind of disappointed that you got loved by it straight away. [00:53:08] Speaker B: I really thought that was an easy one. [00:53:09] Speaker A: That was easy. [00:53:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:53:11] Speaker B: Yeah. I do have written down around like 24 minutes. Starting to not understand what she's on about. [00:53:17] Speaker C: What though? [00:53:18] Speaker B: She just had a whole string of references that I wasn't familiar with. So, you know, you just kind of. Just kind of wait it out. [00:53:25] Speaker C: Oxford is a big university. [00:53:27] Speaker B: Yeah, I've heard of it. Yeah, thanks. I've heard of it. [00:53:29] Speaker A: She went there. She must be pretty bright. [00:53:31] Speaker C: Yeah, that surprised me. That came out of left field as American. [00:53:34] Speaker A: She seems bright right away. [00:53:36] Speaker C: Yeah. You could tell, obviously with all the literary references and stuff. But to actually go to Oxford, you really gotta. You've really got to be smart. I mean, not just, oh yeah, that person smart. You got to be top five people in your school. [00:53:50] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like it's like Harvard. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, I think I find it interesting that, you know, you both have spoken about how she grabbed you and at a certain point won you guys over. You've not asked me how I feel about Bill. [00:54:06] Speaker C: I'm waiting for it. [00:54:07] Speaker A: Are you waiting for it? [00:54:08] Speaker B: Did she, at any point, Bill, did Josie grab you? [00:54:12] Speaker A: No. Like when she comes out, you know, I want to like her. I like her. I seem to like her personality. I think she's going to be good. But very quickly that. Quite, quite the opposite of you. Very quickly. I'm, I'm not won over, but I'm very much put off. And I'll just read some of the things that I wrote down in my notes here. How the fuck can you like this gal? This that was directed towards you. I was going to ask you that. This is like watching Mr. Bean [00:54:48] Speaker C: who never talks. [00:54:50] Speaker A: Whatever. It's that bad. This is why America hates Britain. I like the ads better than the show because I was starting to like, I was tuning in more to the ejaculation. Well, that one particular really got me. But yeah, that was a spicy ad. Thinking about hanging myself. Jesus, I could murder her. [00:55:17] Speaker B: Wow. God damn. [00:55:19] Speaker A: A lot of slap heads in the audience. Did you know some of the slap [00:55:24] Speaker B: heads I was looking, I only counted two guys in the audience and I'm pretty sure they both. [00:55:28] Speaker A: As I'm sitting there, I'm like, this has to be all women because who the fuck wants to listen? [00:55:33] Speaker B: I thought it was kind of funny. It's like the opposite of Shane Gillis. Remember when he was like, if you're a woman here at my show, you got dragged here. That's what I was thinking about the [00:55:40] Speaker A: guys, the slap heads that got dragged. Poor slap heads that had to sit through this hour and 20 minutes of shite. I even thought by the end that all these people had had enough. Like, I felt like it was canned laughter. It didn't. I'm always looking at that and it didn't seem to match the Audi. Like you're hearing this uproarious laughter, then you're seeing like people like this. I feel like that's canned or piped in or not piped in the show, but like piped in the. [00:56:06] Speaker B: I was paying attention. I noticed even towards the end, like the women in the front, they were still laughing and laughing. [00:56:11] Speaker A: God, it was all about her relationships that didn't work out or whatever. There was nothing else. Nothing. She references some literature like you said, you know, she's well read or whatever. But like it. All roads lead back to why it didn't work out with her and the last guy or some other guy. It's like, good God. [00:56:35] Speaker B: I like that. She was showing some vulnerability through it, though. And it was very relatable to anybody, you know, and for. In the way that she would settle everything by the end. [00:56:44] Speaker A: Maybe that's. [00:56:45] Speaker B: That's part of the disconnect, a little misdirection. And then all of a sudden, it was just that she's like, oh, I don't know. I fucked it up. [00:56:52] Speaker A: How many times? [00:56:53] Speaker B: You think there's gonna be a big answer? [00:56:55] Speaker A: Yeah. I was so bored. [00:56:57] Speaker C: What about the fact that she called her mother a nihilist? Can you. [00:57:00] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:57:01] Speaker A: No, because I'm not to that. No, not a nihilist. [00:57:06] Speaker B: Who. [00:57:06] Speaker A: I was reading something about a night, like, they were saying, like, Trump is a nihilist. I'm like, those fuckers always say I'm a nihilist. I'm not a nihilist. [00:57:12] Speaker C: Nihilist. [00:57:13] Speaker A: I'm not. [00:57:14] Speaker C: Classic. [00:57:15] Speaker A: No, I'm not. Maybe in 2000 I was. [00:57:19] Speaker C: You're as nihilist as Josie Long's mother is. All right, she did go after a mum. [00:57:25] Speaker B: Yeah, she did. [00:57:25] Speaker C: And I don't. I don't normally like people who whinge about their parents. I'm not keen on that. But how she went after one line, she said, like, something. She was talking about a poet called Raymond. What's his name? [00:57:43] Speaker A: Raymond Carver. [00:57:43] Speaker C: He's the American writer Raymond Carver. I actually went and bought a book by him off of ebay after this special. You did? Yeah. I was like, I've got to know. I've got to read. [00:57:52] Speaker A: Because you talked about, like, his sadness. You really want to relate to that. I'll put together a reading list for you. [00:57:58] Speaker C: No, I mean, I've read a lot of stuff. Like, read like, John Cheever and Steinbeck. [00:58:02] Speaker A: How about Updike? You ever read any update I've got? [00:58:04] Speaker C: He's in the queue. But I've never got. [00:58:07] Speaker A: I got them all. I'll give them to you. [00:58:10] Speaker C: When she took, the one line that really got me was. She's like, yeah, he. He exists in a tragic universe. And I had parents who created the tragic universe. I can't remember. That's a great line. [00:58:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:58:26] Speaker B: All right. [00:58:26] Speaker A: Well, I. I was so bored during this. Like, I really. I thought about turning it off. I was like, no, I'm not going to be like, Christian, I'm gonna watch this all the way through. We're required to do it. And I sat through it. All. But I wasn't really paying attention after, you know, like 30 minutes. So I sat through an hour of not really paying attention. [00:58:45] Speaker C: But I was from the boner ads. [00:58:47] Speaker A: Yeah. And then I'd park up just enough [00:58:49] Speaker B: to form a solid opinion. [00:58:50] Speaker A: Yes. Just enough to trash it. [00:58:51] Speaker B: Right. [00:58:52] Speaker C: And. [00:58:53] Speaker A: But I found myself on my phone going, you know, like, you have all these apps on your phone. I was just opening apps in my phone that I was like, oh, I still have this app. I wonder what, like, what it even is anymore. I'll just open that. Like, I couldn't have been more. More bored. Nothing could have made me more bored [00:59:09] Speaker C: because the problems of women have literally no interest to you is what I'm hearing now. [00:59:15] Speaker A: See, my wife also said, like, mark, or they're going to say that you don't find females funny. And we just know that's not true. Right. Because I find best selling, one of the best comedians I've ever seen. [00:59:27] Speaker B: Right. [00:59:28] Speaker A: And I don't want to get into that, but. All right. [00:59:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:59:33] Speaker A: I. [00:59:35] Speaker C: The keys to my motor. [00:59:37] Speaker A: Oh, that dry erase board. [00:59:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:41] Speaker A: You know what really pissed me off? That she looked like she did it with tape. She put like a JL on the back of it. Like Chappelle. Like a logo like you see on the back of that board. [00:59:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:59:50] Speaker A: Jl. [00:59:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:59:51] Speaker A: Like it was her scrolled on there. No, it was like made to be [00:59:56] Speaker B: a logo, but it looked like it [00:59:57] Speaker A: was made out of tape. [01:00:01] Speaker B: I just figured that was so she didn't lose it. [01:00:03] Speaker C: I don't know why she needed the board, though. [01:00:05] Speaker A: Yes. [01:00:06] Speaker C: She only had three things on there and they were easy to remember. It was like. What was it? Fat ginger Viking. The thing about the harpist. Who's. What did you just say her name? [01:00:20] Speaker A: The harpist? [01:00:20] Speaker C: Joanna Newsome. [01:00:21] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [01:00:22] Speaker C: And then it just said muscles at the bottom. [01:00:26] Speaker A: Yeah. Stupid. [01:00:28] Speaker B: I think maybe remembering the first two are so difficult. The third one maybe got away from her. She's like, what was that third thing? What was that? I need something I'll call a chart, but turns out to be a. A list. [01:00:40] Speaker C: Did you look up a picture of the guy in orange? Is the new black to just confirm? No. All right. [01:00:46] Speaker A: Couldn't care. It was. [01:00:47] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:00:49] Speaker A: All right. [01:00:50] Speaker B: Well, [01:00:52] Speaker A: yeah. So I. I mean, you said you liked her. I really. [01:00:56] Speaker B: I was the opposite of you, Bill. [01:00:58] Speaker A: The more. [01:00:58] Speaker B: The more I watched, the more I liked her. And I. I actually started finding her attractive about 20 minutes. Really? You're. [01:01:04] Speaker A: You're warming to her in many ways. [01:01:05] Speaker B: Yep. Yeah. Yeah. She got Me. [01:01:07] Speaker C: Only because she'd said she liked gingers. [01:01:11] Speaker B: That's why. [01:01:11] Speaker A: That's right. That's. [01:01:13] Speaker B: That's the line. I was like, I think I got a shot. Yes. [01:01:17] Speaker A: Oh, God. I. I don't know how you could have enjoyed this. I really don't. And I was in a great mood. So I. Yeah, I've got. [01:01:25] Speaker B: Right. [01:01:25] Speaker A: I didn't go on like after. [01:01:26] Speaker B: I didn't understand what she was talking about for a little while because I just didn't understand the references. And you know, with the accent. British talk. It's going a little fast. And so I was just waiting it out. After the relationship stuff, I was back in. I thought she had some good jokes about it. The fast walking bit. I also love trying to beat people that are walking faster than me, you know, so maybe I could just identify with this woman so much. Wearing the bridesmaids dress to the wedding and she's not a bridesmaid. Just said fuck it. That got a laugh out of me. Impatient toast joke. When she said that she's so impatient that she'll start eating the toast while she's buttering it. [01:02:00] Speaker C: Yep. [01:02:02] Speaker B: Oh. Oh, I've got something written down here too. Was there. Did she have a microphone on her chest as well as the one she was holding in her hand? Did you notice that? She would. Every time towards the end she would pat her chest and it would like she was patting a mic. And so I'm looking. There's no mic hanging there, you know, like a. Like a newscaster mic that you put on your lapel. There's nothing there. But it could be hidden under her. Under her shirt. And then I noticed over her left shoulder there looked to be a wire that had started creeping up because, you know, she was wearing that. That low. Not low cut but just like wide cut top. And I think she was wearing a microphone under her shirt. And in addition to the one she's holding in her hand. [01:02:37] Speaker A: I didn't know. [01:02:39] Speaker B: Yeah, that was interesting. Yeah, very interesting. [01:02:43] Speaker A: The ending. Let's talk quick about the ending. Get to the reviews. [01:02:46] Speaker C: My new boyfriend won't eat eggs and is. He's totally unbrunchable. [01:02:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Won't he exit something else too? And doesn't drink tea or coffee? [01:02:54] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [01:02:55] Speaker B: Unbrunchable. [01:02:56] Speaker A: The jokes aren't necessarily bad, but at this point, like her bubbling around the stage for an hour. It's like, how can you fucking care what she says? [01:03:04] Speaker B: I think that's what. That's why I liked what she was saying. I liked her bubbliness, you put it perfectly. [01:03:10] Speaker A: It was very bubbly, effervescent. [01:03:12] Speaker B: And she just kept switching to the little characters, you know, kept contorting her face a little bit, you know, doing the. Every time she broke into the film noir thing, like, I hated that. I loved it. [01:03:24] Speaker A: But the ending, who did, whose ending did. Did her ending remind you of what did you pick up on that? [01:03:31] Speaker B: No. [01:03:32] Speaker C: Like a Sandler esque type one? [01:03:34] Speaker A: No, she tells a story that. About the guy. [01:03:38] Speaker B: Right. [01:03:38] Speaker A: That with the played bike polo. And then she says, oh, that's all. [01:03:42] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, right, yeah, I like that part. But is it somebody that we've reviewed? [01:03:48] Speaker A: Somebody that you chose for us to review? It wasn't as elaborate as I was gonna say. [01:03:54] Speaker B: We're biglia at first, but I don't remember him doing any sort of mischief. [01:03:57] Speaker A: He didn't pull the rug. But Randy Fellface tells that story and then he pulls the rug right away. He's like, none of that happened. That was all bullshit. [01:04:04] Speaker B: I just wanted to do. [01:04:06] Speaker A: She did a felt face. But then I thought like, as she tells that story and then she's like, so that's it, that's my. [01:04:15] Speaker B: It was like, it was very anticlimactic. [01:04:18] Speaker A: I guess that's my time like looking [01:04:19] Speaker B: around for the hosting because then people were clapping and I was waiting to see are they going to stand up? Because, you know, she does even reference earlier on something about living in London and somebody saying, well, that's life. Get on with it. You know, like, you know, there's no, there's no. Oh, I think somebody responds positively to her. Yeah, positively to her for something she said about something rough in her life and she's like, wow, you don't get that around here. Normally tell you. They tell you to suck it up and move on. [01:04:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:04:44] Speaker B: So I was, I was interested to see how this was going to end. You know, if people are actually going to stand up, which they did not. [01:04:49] Speaker A: No, because it was a dud. [01:04:51] Speaker B: Like these. [01:04:52] Speaker A: She put these people to sleep and it was a dud ending. [01:04:55] Speaker B: Maybe you think they would stand up and start leaving then. [01:04:57] Speaker A: Yeah, we're just waking up. [01:05:00] Speaker B: Quicker way to get to the door [01:05:01] Speaker A: now as a dud. All right, what do we. What you choose today, how we're rating this? Like, what would you. How many. What's. How many slices of ham, Cheeseburgers, how many love bites? [01:05:18] Speaker B: See, I like that she kept going back to that character too. I thought it was hilarious. [01:05:28] Speaker A: Cheeseburgers, slices of ham. [01:05:36] Speaker C: What about the bit where she Goes to the someone who has a tv and she's like, please, turn it on. [01:05:41] Speaker A: That's terrible. [01:05:42] Speaker C: Turn it on. Make them do cooking. [01:05:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:05:48] Speaker A: I feel like I don't get it. Like, I. I feel like I don't get it. Like, am I. What am I missing? This was awful. [01:05:55] Speaker C: It's two things. You don't like foreign people. [01:05:59] Speaker B: That's true. That is true. [01:06:00] Speaker A: I am a xenophobe, especially British. I do not like British people. Right. [01:06:06] Speaker B: And I. [01:06:07] Speaker A: But I do not. [01:06:07] Speaker B: I do not. [01:06:08] Speaker A: I do like women a lot. I work with all women. My wife's a woman. I like a women a lot. Beth Stelling's great. [01:06:20] Speaker C: Just not with a microphone in front of them. [01:06:22] Speaker A: No, that's selling. [01:06:23] Speaker C: That's really great. That's how you like it. Just not with a mic. [01:06:26] Speaker A: No, I like a lot of female comedians. I don't get it. [01:06:31] Speaker C: I think you probably liked this all the way up till she went after nihilism. [01:06:36] Speaker A: Nope. [01:06:36] Speaker C: You just. You're like, no, too far. [01:06:40] Speaker B: Nope, Nope. [01:06:42] Speaker A: I was gone. I was checked out. I was in my. Into the apps by then. [01:06:46] Speaker C: What about stripes? [01:06:47] Speaker A: Love bites. [01:06:48] Speaker C: Stripes on a T shirt. [01:06:49] Speaker B: No, that's good. [01:06:51] Speaker A: How many stripes on how many love. [01:06:52] Speaker C: Okay. How many love bites? [01:06:53] Speaker A: Love bites. So how many pretzel bites? [01:06:56] Speaker C: How we're gonna do it, though, is. Not number of. Not number of. We're going to start at the clavicle, and then. And if it's really good, you end at the jawbone. Right. So how far up your neck? [01:07:11] Speaker A: Yeah, I'll let you handle that, but I'll go ahead. How many. [01:07:16] Speaker B: Well, what are we doing? Inches? Like. What do you mean? [01:07:18] Speaker C: Well, describe. Think about your neck. [01:07:20] Speaker A: How many inches of love bite you're giving this one? Let's say seven inches. [01:07:26] Speaker C: No. No numbers. What are you talking about? [01:07:29] Speaker B: But there has to be a maximum in order to grade it. There has to be. Out of what? [01:07:34] Speaker C: Right. So. So baseline is your clavicle. [01:07:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:07:37] Speaker C: You just didn't get past. Past your column. [01:07:39] Speaker B: Right, Right. [01:07:40] Speaker C: Top line is your ear. You got all the way to the air, Right. You. Maybe you just got above the. The. The neckline of your shirt. You know what I mean? [01:07:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. [01:07:51] Speaker C: Maybe you just got to the tattoo. [01:07:56] Speaker B: Oh, I'll go. Oh, are we going in order? Right. You're gonna go last. Right. Mark. Because it was your pick. Okay, yeah, I'll go. I'll go. Not quite as high as my ear. Just below my jawbone. Where. Where the. The. The. The scruff of my beard starts. [01:08:11] Speaker C: Adam's Apple. [01:08:12] Speaker B: No, that's the front of. That's the front of my. [01:08:14] Speaker C: No, but I'm saying if you. [01:08:15] Speaker B: Oh, if I. No, higher than that. A little higher. Like halfway between Adam's apple and dead air in jawbone. [01:08:21] Speaker C: All right, I understand what you're saying and I approve. [01:08:24] Speaker A: I don't understand what you're saying. Translate that for me, Christian. That would be. How many out of four love bites just so I can. It's like that's a three out of four love bites. [01:08:34] Speaker B: I think that's a fair number. [01:08:36] Speaker A: Fair number. Okay, well, let me. I got something in my bag here. [01:08:41] Speaker B: Oh, boy. [01:08:43] Speaker C: If there's more, you give me a certificate you can f. Right. [01:08:46] Speaker A: Oh my God. [01:08:47] Speaker C: I will not accept. [01:08:49] Speaker B: There it is. [01:08:51] Speaker A: Homemade. I don't have a printer. My printers on the fritz. I don't need. Don't have ink. Oh, God made a certificate says this bullshit. I can't read it from behind. [01:09:01] Speaker B: It's great. [01:09:02] Speaker A: This here awards an honorable certificate. I try to remember the one Christian gave me to Mark Geary for the biggest comedy piece of shit recommendation of all times for Josie Long, Kara Josephine. I've signed it and I've put a space here for Christian to sign, which [01:09:21] Speaker B: I don't think he's going to sign it. [01:09:21] Speaker A: I'm not going to sign it. And so there you go, sir. Congratulations. [01:09:26] Speaker B: You've introduced me to the biggest piece [01:09:28] Speaker A: of shit I've ever seen. And furthermore, you've sullied my opinion of the great Stuart Lee because I had to go and learn a little bit more about her. And apparently she would go around with Stuart Lee opening for Stuart Lee. How the hell he would let her open for. For him I can't understand. And so now I've taken Stuart Lee down a notch. [01:09:51] Speaker C: Stuart Lee doesn't have openers. So I think. [01:09:53] Speaker A: Well, it's in the Wikipedia species. I just. I read it. You read it yourself. Biggest piece of shit of all times. Go ahead, give you a review. [01:10:05] Speaker C: I'm gonna go. Well, like I say, I'm gonna go love bite wise. I'm gonna go just. Just kind of where your stubble starts. [01:10:17] Speaker B: That's exactly what I said. [01:10:18] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, just kind of there. It's just had me on a roller coaster journey. This did from Love Hate. Love, hate, love. Which I guess is in keeping with the theme. Yeah, maybe it's deliberate Love hate. She's Josie Long is all time talking about the duality of love and hate for her parents, for men she's had relationships with. Maybe it's the smartest cleverest, structured that might be. [01:10:48] Speaker A: And this special we've ever witnessed, you might be right. That might be it. In this. And that's why I said, like, I don't get it. Like, she's a smart person, right? Oxford educated, YouTube. Higher IQs than me. Maybe I'm too dumb to really even understand what's good about this, Right? I'm a troglodyte. [01:11:07] Speaker C: No, I think you just turned off by the person. No, it's the game. [01:11:12] Speaker A: No, don't put words in my mouth. [01:11:14] Speaker C: The player, the game. [01:11:16] Speaker A: I don't know. Piece of. All right. [01:11:21] Speaker C: Don't listen to him, listeners. Josie Long. Kara. Josephine. [01:11:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:11:26] Speaker C: Get ready for free on YouTube. [01:11:29] Speaker A: Free. [01:11:29] Speaker B: All right. [01:11:30] Speaker A: No one's gonna pay for this shite. [01:11:31] Speaker C: And. And if you don't like the special, you'll at least be educated on bona pills by the end of it. [01:11:37] Speaker A: Well, depends on your algorithm. Christian. [01:11:41] Speaker B: Yes. [01:11:42] Speaker A: Who are we looking at next? Hopefully something better than this. [01:11:45] Speaker B: Okay. God help me. I'll tell you, it's nothing on YouTube. It certainly will be shorter. And it is on YouTube. [01:11:50] Speaker A: Oh, it's gotta be bad. Probably. [01:11:52] Speaker B: We are going to review a classic. We are going to review Mitch Hedberg's Comedy Central Presents. Okay. But additionally, an optional homework assignment after watching the 22 minute Comedy Central Presents. [01:12:06] Speaker A: It's only 22 minutes. [01:12:07] Speaker B: It's only 22 minutes since there. Since it is so short, I implore you to then type into YouTube Mitch Hedberg's early material and why Some of his stuff from the 90s as he develops the character that he eventually becomes in this special. [01:12:24] Speaker A: Okay. [01:12:25] Speaker B: It's pretty good stuff. [01:12:25] Speaker C: He started off as a juggler, you know? [01:12:27] Speaker A: Is that right? Yeah, like Andy Martello eating fire and whatnot. Yeah, I'm excited for that. It's been a long time since I've seen hedberg. [01:12:37] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, 22 minutes. But 718 jokes crammed into them. [01:12:43] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know how I'm gonna. [01:12:45] Speaker B: 718 commercials in the 22 minutes. [01:12:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:12:49] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what this is. One I can watch on the toilet the entirety of why not? Love it. Fit that one in, no problem. All right. Looking forward to that. See you all next week. Tekashi. [01:13:21] Speaker B: Is 1.