Review: Live At The El Rey, Stephen Lynch

[00:00:08] Speaker A: But then in the 60s, it was like people would just write a song and anyone who felt like having a crack at it would do it. But not. Not like, oh, one one year, one the next. Like the exact same time. [00:00:22] Speaker B: Kind of like now, how movies, Right. When a movie comes out, like, say it's like Crimson Tide. [00:00:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:00:28] Speaker B: Remember that movie about submarines? And then right at the same time, like, two weeks later, U571 comes out, it's another movie about submarines. Same still goes on today, like with [00:00:40] Speaker C: movies like Single White Female and then Hand that Rocks the Cradle and Domestic Disturbance. Always a year of each other. [00:00:46] Speaker B: We talked about those movies a couple weeks ago. [00:00:48] Speaker A: Right. [00:00:48] Speaker B: It still happens where they like the same kind of movies. [00:00:51] Speaker A: You. You're a hall. You're a Hollywood insider. [00:00:54] Speaker B: I was. I used to work for Paramount Pictures. Yes. [00:00:57] Speaker A: Is this conscious in so much as they're so boring and conservative that they go, well, if they're doing it, we better do it. Or is it a. A cash in where they go, hey, the. The conscience of people has been alerted to Soviet submarines. If we do a film immediately on the heels of it, that's like, we can halve our marketing budget because we don't have to. Like, people will go, oh, yes, the submarine movie. Yeah. Is that why they're doing it? [00:01:30] Speaker B: I think you're right. Yeah. To cash in on that. And I don't know. I never thought about the marketing thing. Like, we won't have to market as much because it's already being marketed through another movie maybe. Yeah. It's all. Yeah, it's all about cash. [00:01:44] Speaker A: And then, like, tv, you know, you had the Monsters and the Addams Family and. [00:01:48] Speaker B: Yeah, they're cashing in on familiarity, I guess. [00:01:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:52] Speaker B: Knowing that people are just that dumb. They'll either go and see the other one thinking they're seeing the one they thought they were supposed to see, or they'll just. I like the other one. I guess I'll like this one. [00:02:05] Speaker A: My. [00:02:06] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:02:08] Speaker A: There was an article. I think my mates, Steve sent it to me, and it was the guy, you know, the guy who started making the cash in. So, like, there were snakes on a plane and then he'd just out Snakes on a Train. Like, quick, get it done. And it was straight to video. [00:02:26] Speaker B: I always feel like I missed that Sharknado. Yeah, Sharknado made a bunch, like, in a row. [00:02:31] Speaker A: I always feel like I missed out on that. You know, there was a phase where I used to watch B movies. [00:02:36] Speaker B: What do you mean you missed out on it. [00:02:38] Speaker A: Like, I never went in for that genre. The. The sort of shitty straight to video remake. Why would you thing. Because it's the sort of thing I [00:02:48] Speaker B: used to do intentionally. [00:02:51] Speaker A: The time I did. [00:02:53] Speaker B: Yeah. That much time. [00:02:54] Speaker A: Yeah. I was classic, like hipster, let's watch something shitty and enjoy it because of its shittiness. [00:03:00] Speaker B: I think of you as a very busy guy. Always busy, busy. But maybe you're not. Maybe like you. You create that. That idea of you being this busy guy all the time, but then you just go home and you just watch TV all day. [00:03:15] Speaker A: No, I definitely don't do that. Definitely don't do that. That. That was me as a youth. I would dick around. [00:03:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:22] Speaker A: So now I have mental issues with being down. [00:03:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:30] Speaker A: Not down like depressed. I have mental issues with not being. Being able to take the foot off the gas without my brain telling me, you're wasting time. [00:03:37] Speaker B: Yeah. You will. [00:03:38] Speaker A: You. [00:03:38] Speaker B: You sublimate your depression or your anxiety, whatever, through staying busy. [00:03:44] Speaker A: Is that what it is? I guess, yeah. [00:03:46] Speaker B: I can push it down. You push it down in a way, as long as you're busy. [00:03:51] Speaker A: But you see that to me, that's better than being like a drug addict. [00:03:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:55] Speaker A: Or whatever. Because you. You can at least go, well, I did the laundry. [00:03:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. You're productive. My. My wife's whole life is built on this premise. Right. Like just to stay busy at all times. [00:04:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:07] Speaker B: And then just crash at the end of the day and get up and start again. Right. [00:04:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:11] Speaker B: Because you're nothing else. You're productive. [00:04:14] Speaker A: Right. [00:04:15] Speaker B: Although. What about the. [00:04:17] Speaker A: Do you feel that sublimating the need to be depressed then, that you should just say bollocks to it? Let me do. Let me get this out of my system. [00:04:26] Speaker B: What, and just take the depression? [00:04:28] Speaker A: Just take the depression. [00:04:29] Speaker B: It doesn't get out of your system, though. I don't think. [00:04:32] Speaker C: Right. [00:04:32] Speaker B: You're not just gonna ride it out until it goes away, I think. [00:04:35] Speaker A: You don't think? [00:04:36] Speaker B: No, it's. It's always with you. It's just how you cope with it. Right. There's healthier ways to cope with it. I think staying busy is pretty good. Right. [00:04:44] Speaker A: I thought you wallowed. I thought you believed in therapy and that you could. You could pray the gay away in terms of, like, you could. [00:04:53] Speaker B: Those are two different things. Praying it away and therapy are different things. [00:04:56] Speaker A: Pray the depression away. [00:05:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, yeah. I haven't been to therapy in a long time. Maybe it's time. I've done a lot of it. [00:05:07] Speaker A: That's the End of this podcast, then. All right, bye. [00:05:09] Speaker C: See ya. [00:05:10] Speaker B: You want to hear what you want me to do? Do a half hour on therapy right here. [00:05:13] Speaker A: No, I mean, you won't need the podcast. [00:05:15] Speaker B: Oh. Yeah. I don't know. It's not that I'm against therapy. I just think at different points in your life, you don't need it, and you always need it, but you can do fine without it. Hey, you know what I noticed in the bathroom here? I was just in here. Not that I never noticed all the clowns in the pictures in the bathroom, but somebody defaced one of the clown paintings. Did you see that? [00:05:34] Speaker C: The Diary of the Cops one? [00:05:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:36] Speaker C: Yep. [00:05:37] Speaker B: Yeah. Diarrhea the Cops. Somebody wrote Diarrhea the cops on one of the paintings in the bathroom. [00:05:42] Speaker A: When I mentioned it to Kelsey when we were doing the Adopt a Clown, she said, oh, I thought that was part of the original. [00:05:47] Speaker B: Maybe it is. [00:05:48] Speaker C: There was. There was a moment. I wondered too. There was a moment when I first saw it, I thought, is that intentional? Was that there the whole time? And I realized that's probably not the case. [00:05:56] Speaker A: It was not there. [00:05:58] Speaker B: What do you think is meant by the statement diarrhea? [00:06:02] Speaker C: It was like, defund the police, I'm assuming, and then they were just being. They were taking care of diarrhea. Yeah. [00:06:07] Speaker A: I keep meaning to paint over it. [00:06:09] Speaker B: Shit on the cops. [00:06:10] Speaker A: I'm not a big fan of people speaking freely on my property. [00:06:14] Speaker C: Yeah, right. It's not the place. [00:06:16] Speaker B: Not only that, it opens the door in that bathroom too. It turns into, like, the bathroom at the Empty Bottle. [00:06:21] Speaker C: Somebody shaved their. Their gang symbol into the mirror again. Did you see that? [00:06:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:26] Speaker C: How do we get rid of that? [00:06:27] Speaker A: You know what? I just. So, mirrors. I was just taking them out of alley, taking them from thrift stores. The issue is I can't swap them out quickly because the bloody screws are all different places. I gotta move to a standardized mirror. It wouldn't be so bad if the bloody size of the mirror was standard. And I could just switch them out. [00:06:51] Speaker C: Right. Slide them out, like. [00:06:52] Speaker A: Yeah, just pull the frame off, have [00:06:55] Speaker C: a little frame around and the glass slides in and out. [00:06:57] Speaker B: Yeah, just get new glass every time. [00:06:59] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, just do new glasses. Be a piece of piss then. But they're all different sizes. Like, it's hard to get. That is a conundrum to be solved. Yeah. [00:07:09] Speaker B: You know, it would be cool. And I think funny is if you took those out and put in the. Whatever. The piece of metal that is in, like a gas station, you Know, like. Yeah, it's not a mirror, but it has some, like, opaque reflection. [00:07:23] Speaker A: Why do they even bother with that? [00:07:25] Speaker B: I think Beth Stilling did a joke about that in her set about, like, how she looks and whatever. [00:07:29] Speaker A: We have some of that in there. [00:07:30] Speaker B: You should put that up. That would be funny, right? Like. Cause people go to look in the mirror and it's the gas station mirror that you can't really see. Think they wouldn't get the irony of it? [00:07:39] Speaker A: There's a lot of women in this building and we have to serve their vanity. [00:07:43] Speaker B: Well, where's the graffiti or the engraving going on? The men's? [00:07:46] Speaker C: No, it's one of the gender neutral bathrooms. [00:07:49] Speaker A: I did replace one of the men's with a scratchy scratch. [00:07:52] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:07:52] Speaker A: Someone. Also you. You're missing a. A clown graffiti because someone. You. Into the bottom left hand. [00:08:01] Speaker C: Oh, really? [00:08:02] Speaker A: Of the big one over the top [00:08:03] Speaker B: in that same bathroom. And die of the cops. [00:08:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:05] Speaker C: There's a hidden you in there. Huh? [00:08:08] Speaker A: Small, but you see it? [00:08:09] Speaker C: Oh, I want to go take a. Take a butcher's. [00:08:12] Speaker A: Yep. [00:08:12] Speaker B: Have you started to rethink the whole clown motif here? I mean, in the wake of the. All the gacy stuff that's out there with the clowns and like, the whole clown culture and the clown. He did all these clown paintings, right? [00:08:26] Speaker C: Like 40 years ago, though. [00:08:29] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, but I mean, the association is pretty strong of clowns and clown paintings. [00:08:34] Speaker A: Nothing to do with gay scenes. [00:08:35] Speaker C: I don't think anybody's making that connection. [00:08:37] Speaker B: No, I'm not saying that's a fear. I'm just saying. [00:08:40] Speaker A: Do you know who collected clown paintings? She died last year. [00:08:45] Speaker B: Keelan Keys. [00:08:47] Speaker A: No, she died last year. Kind of famous actress. [00:08:52] Speaker B: Jane Fonda. [00:08:53] Speaker A: Nope. [00:08:55] Speaker B: And Net Benning. [00:08:57] Speaker A: Nope. Diane Keaton. [00:08:59] Speaker B: Yeah, that's right. [00:08:59] Speaker A: Clown. [00:09:00] Speaker B: Did she really? [00:09:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:01] Speaker B: Speaking of Diane Keaton, I just saw this movie the other day during Bleak Week at the Music Box, where all the movies are bleak. They showed the film 1977. 8 Looking for Mr. Goodbar with Diane Keaton. Have you ever seen that? [00:09:18] Speaker A: I thought that was a comedy. [00:09:20] Speaker B: Yeah, it sounds like it. It is not. It is one of the darkest movies you'll ever see. [00:09:25] Speaker C: Huh? [00:09:25] Speaker B: Came out the same year she won Annie Hall. So her star was, like, meteoric at the time. Richard Gere plays a small supporting role in it. Oh, my Lord. Diane Keaton is. You've never seen her. [00:09:38] Speaker A: Huh? [00:09:39] Speaker B: Before. [00:09:40] Speaker A: What's the bleakest film you've ever seen? [00:09:42] Speaker B: The most bleak film I've ever seen. Well, it would have to go Back to my childhood. It's not really a film. Faces of Death. [00:09:51] Speaker A: Oh, I thought that was just a frat boy video. [00:09:54] Speaker B: Yeah, I think it probably was, but it's just the idea of. It was like a snuff film. [00:09:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:59] Speaker B: Real death on film. [00:10:00] Speaker A: Yeah. It mostly wasn't, though, was it? It's kind of like. It's up there with Girls Gone Wild. [00:10:05] Speaker B: It's just a. Yeah, it is kind of like, bring that to the party. [00:10:09] Speaker A: No, a real proper film. [00:10:11] Speaker B: Well, it would probably be the horror movie. I don't know if it's Texas Chainsaw Massacre. So bleak to me. So bleak. [00:10:19] Speaker A: Is it? [00:10:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:21] Speaker A: I don't find gore bleak. He's not cycling or logical. [00:10:25] Speaker B: No, I'd have. I'd have to think about some. What's yours? You got one ready? [00:10:28] Speaker A: Do you ever see the movie? It's a Belgian movie called Man Bites Dog. [00:10:32] Speaker C: Oh, I've heard of this. [00:10:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, I have seen that. It's like that. [00:10:36] Speaker A: They'll drop your fucking drink. [00:10:38] Speaker B: But I don't remember it that well. [00:10:39] Speaker A: They follow a serial killer around, filming him. Yeah, the owls are. And then. Disturbing. I think I talked before about Day of the Locust. [00:10:54] Speaker B: An old one. [00:10:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:57] Speaker B: Karen Black is in that, I believe. [00:10:59] Speaker A: Yep. Karen Black. And who's the guy? The ginger guy? [00:11:03] Speaker B: Donald Sutherland. [00:11:04] Speaker A: No, he. He was in. Oh, God. He's got a very shrewish face. Tight face. [00:11:15] Speaker B: And he's a ginger. [00:11:16] Speaker A: He's. [00:11:16] Speaker B: He's a Mark Hamill. [00:11:18] Speaker A: No, he's a child actor in it. And he gets stomped to death by Donald Sutherland. [00:11:22] Speaker B: Donald's other one's in Daily Locust. [00:11:24] Speaker A: Yep. [00:11:26] Speaker B: Rick Schroeder. [00:11:28] Speaker A: No. God, you'd know his name. [00:11:31] Speaker B: Mickey Rooney. [00:11:33] Speaker A: He was in. He was in Watchmen. We're getting bogged down here. Anyway, don't. If you want to have sleepless nights, Day of the Locust, go watch Day of. [00:11:45] Speaker B: All right, I'm gonna watch that. I've always wanted to watch. I don't think I've seen it. [00:11:50] Speaker C: Speaking of late 70s, you said 1979 ish was the movie that you were mentioning. Bill, I think I have gifts. I have the Pretenders. Nice singles. [00:12:03] Speaker B: That's a great. [00:12:05] Speaker C: This is for Mr. Billow. [00:12:06] Speaker B: It's for me. I didn't want to get excited. And it wasn't beef. Wouldn't be for me. Thank you. [00:12:09] Speaker A: I already have that in mp. [00:12:11] Speaker B: Oh, it's not even opened. [00:12:12] Speaker C: No, it's. [00:12:13] Speaker B: Oh, it's got the plastic on it. [00:12:15] Speaker C: Yeah. Never been listened to. [00:12:16] Speaker B: Oh, I love that. [00:12:17] Speaker C: Thank You. I've got a choice for you. I've got the Live Kinks. Another vinyl. [00:12:23] Speaker B: Another vinyl choice for Mark. [00:12:24] Speaker C: Either this one or Johnny Paycheck. Mr. Lovemaker. [00:12:29] Speaker B: Here we go. Paycheck's still in there. [00:12:32] Speaker A: Still in there. [00:12:33] Speaker B: Or the Kinks, live. [00:12:35] Speaker A: The Kings has got a weird album cover, too. Yeah, it's like that 1970s futuristic form font. [00:12:42] Speaker C: It's an odd one. [00:12:43] Speaker A: Yeah, I'll just do the Kinks. [00:12:46] Speaker C: Yeah, the Kinks. [00:12:47] Speaker B: All right. Takes a back seat again. Let's see that Kinks when you're done over here. That's. That's old. [00:12:53] Speaker A: Kinks are the original. The original Oasis, because they just. The brothers hate each other. [00:12:59] Speaker B: Speaking of. [00:13:00] Speaker C: Speaking of people that do mostly. No, I'm thinking about the Animals. Do a lot of COVID songs. Do a lot of songs that somebody else did. [00:13:07] Speaker B: And all of the Night, All Day. [00:13:11] Speaker C: The Kinks did a good amount of time, I guess a lot of them back then. [00:13:15] Speaker B: You really got me. [00:13:16] Speaker A: For me. House of the Rising sun is one of the top five songs of all freaking time. The. [00:13:26] Speaker C: The Animals version. [00:13:27] Speaker B: The Animals, Robin Trower, Eric Burden. [00:13:33] Speaker A: But House of the. Right. That guitar on that, it's just like. [00:13:43] Speaker B: Yeah. When are they coming through town? Hey, here's some shows I want to see. You want to come with me this summer? I gotta get these guys off my list. Right? I checked Melon Camp off the list a couple years ago. He's actually coming back again, too. Tinley park can take the bus from Reggie's. [00:13:58] Speaker A: Bollocks to that. [00:14:00] Speaker B: No, I want to see Bob Dylan. Never saw him. [00:14:02] Speaker A: Apparently, he's awful now. [00:14:04] Speaker B: Okay, we got to see him. And Willie. [00:14:07] Speaker C: My man Will. [00:14:08] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Let's go, boys. [00:14:10] Speaker C: Paul Simon's gonna be at Ravinia. [00:14:13] Speaker B: Yeah, I got one of his songs. [00:14:14] Speaker C: I've never seen him. That's one of the Bucket list artists. [00:14:18] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know if I saw. I probably did see him. [00:14:20] Speaker C: I wish I'd seen him earlier. [00:14:24] Speaker B: Was one of those. [00:14:25] Speaker C: I finally got to see him, like, a year ago. [00:14:27] Speaker B: You got to get these guys while they're above ground. [00:14:29] Speaker C: Yep. [00:14:30] Speaker B: Listen, they're not going to be for very long. [00:14:31] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:32] Speaker B: Especially with the new coronavirus. That's out. Or Ebola, they're calling it. [00:14:37] Speaker A: Is that the one you have today? [00:14:38] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:14:39] Speaker A: What are you bringing today? [00:14:41] Speaker B: I'm bringing nothing. Knock on wood. In perfect health. Hey, how many pounds are you up to now this week? Last week it was 10. Then you had that donut, remember? [00:14:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:52] Speaker B: What happened after that? I Worried that you would go into some kind of, like, free fall of bad eating choices. [00:14:58] Speaker A: Stayed strong. [00:14:59] Speaker C: You did. [00:14:59] Speaker B: You went right back on your diet. [00:15:00] Speaker A: Stayed strong. Yeah. [00:15:02] Speaker B: See, if you can do that, then, you know, you can. You can live. Right, Right. It's the. The addictive personalities that, you know, might have gone down a dark road after that donut. Okay, so how many pounds did you say? [00:15:18] Speaker A: 12. [00:15:18] Speaker B: You're a 12? You sure? [00:15:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:15:21] Speaker B: You look the same. [00:15:21] Speaker A: Yeah, I know. [00:15:23] Speaker B: You'll get. You look like you're 10 down. [00:15:25] Speaker A: Do you know how the body sheds fat? This is interesting. [00:15:28] Speaker C: How's that? [00:15:30] Speaker A: So a fitness guy told me this. He said your body, when it sheds fat, it doesn't go, oh, I'll take a little bit from here, a little bit from there. It goes, all right, first up, face. It's all coming from the face. Then it'll go, you know, if you're a bloke, it's like, you know, love handles, it's. And then blah, blah, blah. Your body doesn't try and do a balancing act. It just. It's going to go here first, then here, then here. So part of the reason I had that haircut two weeks ago. No, last week. [00:16:01] Speaker B: The big slap head. [00:16:02] Speaker A: Yeah, the slap head was because I felt like my jawbone, my. My jaw and cheeks were coming back in to where I could. [00:16:09] Speaker B: So the weight loss made you go get a new hairstyle so I could [00:16:12] Speaker A: look, you know, sinister and East European again. [00:16:15] Speaker B: Yeah, so you do a little. [00:16:17] Speaker A: And yeah, so he told me that, and I was like, oh, that makes sense that, you know, when you go on a fitness kick, first thing happens is your face thins out. [00:16:25] Speaker B: Yeah. And you've noticed that. It has. [00:16:27] Speaker A: Yep. [00:16:27] Speaker B: Billy Bob Thornton used to talk about how he'd make himself thin for roll. He said, suck on lemons or make his face really, like, tight, like on [00:16:37] Speaker C: the spot or like. Yeah, just prepare for a role. [00:16:40] Speaker B: I just like, if you want to get thin fast for a shoot, suck lemons. [00:16:45] Speaker A: But they say it's not healthy to do that. [00:16:47] Speaker B: Suck lemons. Probably not. [00:16:49] Speaker A: Jeez. I mean, do you see, like, Christian Bale or Joaquin Phoenix when they did that thin? Holy crap. Joaquin Phoenix looks joker sick. Like, oh, my God, dude. [00:17:01] Speaker B: Yeah, he's the best to me. Joaquin Phoenix, best actor in the world. He is the Marlon Brando of our generation. [00:17:10] Speaker A: You think? [00:17:11] Speaker B: I think so. I think so. I mean, maybe you don't like his work, but his commitment to the craft maybe up there with a Daniel Day Lewis. Marlon Brando, the best. [00:17:24] Speaker C: He does Go all out. [00:17:25] Speaker B: Yeah. Christian kind of looks like Joaquin Phoenix, doesn't he? You ever get that? [00:17:29] Speaker C: No. [00:17:30] Speaker B: No, no. Who do people say you look like? [00:17:34] Speaker C: Oh, I've gotten a lot of them. The Billy Joel from Green Day. [00:17:38] Speaker B: No. [00:17:39] Speaker C: Is that his name? Billy Joe? No. Yeah, it is. [00:17:42] Speaker B: Nothing like him. [00:17:43] Speaker C: I've gotten that one a lot. I used to get Robert Pattinson when he was popular on that. [00:17:48] Speaker B: Nope. Nope. [00:17:50] Speaker C: Well, okay. Yes. Yes. Because that is Brad Pitt. [00:17:54] Speaker B: Tom Cruise. Well, it's just naming face guys. No, keep going. Get into the character actors. [00:18:01] Speaker C: Joaquin Phoenix. Oh, hey, you didn't. [00:18:04] Speaker B: No character actors. [00:18:06] Speaker C: Why? Who are you waiting for me to say? [00:18:08] Speaker B: Ron Howard. [00:18:09] Speaker C: Ron Howard. [00:18:12] Speaker A: You still from Happy Days? [00:18:14] Speaker B: From Happy Days. No. You look like Anson Williams. No, Ralph. Donnie Most. Donnie Most. Ralph Mouth. [00:18:23] Speaker C: The kid. [00:18:23] Speaker B: That's who it is. [00:18:25] Speaker C: The kid from. [00:18:25] Speaker B: Right. [00:18:26] Speaker C: What was it? [00:18:27] Speaker B: Ralph Mal. [00:18:28] Speaker C: From Sound? Yeah. [00:18:29] Speaker B: You do look like that kid. [00:18:30] Speaker C: Yeah, I look like the kid from Sandlot. [00:18:31] Speaker A: You're an amalgam of Happy Days. [00:18:33] Speaker C: Just think of a redhead and I look like him. [00:18:35] Speaker B: Donnie Most. Oh, little Danny Bonaduce, too. [00:18:38] Speaker C: Yep. [00:18:39] Speaker B: Right. [00:18:43] Speaker C: The bully from Flintstones Kids. [00:18:45] Speaker B: I don't remember that one. Yeah, the bully from the TV show Flintstone Kids. So this was a cartoon? Like Muppet Babies, but for the Flintstone. [00:18:57] Speaker C: Yeah, Beaker is on that list, too. [00:18:59] Speaker B: Beaker? No, he looks like Beaker. [00:19:01] Speaker A: He's Beaker. [00:19:01] Speaker B: You're not Beaker. [00:19:02] Speaker A: He's Beaker and Beaker. Yeah, Beaker and Fat Boy Slim. This is old ground. [00:19:07] Speaker B: Simon Pig. [00:19:08] Speaker A: We're heading into dead air. [00:19:11] Speaker B: We're enjoying ourselves. The people want us to enjoy ourselves. [00:19:14] Speaker A: Is this just your way of stopping us talking about sexy talk? So. [00:19:18] Speaker B: Yep. [00:19:19] Speaker A: Keeping good? [00:19:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:20] Speaker B: Have you for the second weakening rope? No. Nothing from beguine. Let's just move on from them. And second week in a row, I would not be talking sex talk. [00:19:30] Speaker C: Splashing back. [00:19:31] Speaker A: I don't know how we're gonna review this special without sex talk. [00:19:36] Speaker C: I know it's gonna be. [00:19:38] Speaker B: Oh, because of course, you're teasing our comedian of the day, Stephen Lynch. Any relation to Jane Lynch? [00:19:47] Speaker C: No. [00:19:48] Speaker A: Any relation to David? You did. Went to the Google anyhow. No, because. [00:19:52] Speaker B: Is he related to David Lynch? [00:19:54] Speaker A: No, but that's like there's, you know when you type in the name of someone now and it shows you all the questions. [00:19:58] Speaker C: Right. [00:19:59] Speaker A: How much I love that. It's about six Lynches. Like, is Stephen lynch related to. He's, you know, he's related to Merrill Lynch. Drew lynch, the guy that made you pick the special Yep. [00:20:12] Speaker C: His name's Drew. Well, actually, he didn't make me pick the special. It doesn't matter. [00:20:18] Speaker A: Marshawn Lynch. [00:20:19] Speaker B: Marshawn. [00:20:20] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, Beast mode. [00:20:21] Speaker B: Famous Lynch's. Go. I know you love this. [00:20:22] Speaker C: Marshawn Lynch. [00:20:23] Speaker B: Marshawn Lynch. John Lynch. John lynch from the Broncos. [00:20:28] Speaker A: Go come up with a Lynch lynch mob. [00:20:32] Speaker B: We'll accept it. Another Lynch. Jane Lynch. I already said her, but go ahead. [00:20:39] Speaker C: David Lynch. [00:20:40] Speaker B: David Lynch. [00:20:41] Speaker A: Phil lynch, who I went to high school with. [00:20:54] Speaker B: I can't come up with any. [00:20:56] Speaker A: Game's over. [00:20:57] Speaker B: Oh, I'll be thinking, but they'll be coming up all week. I'm like, oh, that was a Lynch. I knew. You know, it's hard to think of him on the spot. [00:21:02] Speaker A: Yeah, Kenny Lynch. British Kenny Lynch. [00:21:05] Speaker B: No, not familiar with Kenny Lynch. [00:21:06] Speaker A: One of the. [00:21:07] Speaker B: We're gonna review him next. [00:21:07] Speaker A: One of the few black faces in. In 60s British comedy. [00:21:11] Speaker B: He was a African. African American. [00:21:14] Speaker A: No, he's English. [00:21:15] Speaker B: Do they. What do they call him? African English over there? If you're black. African English. [00:21:20] Speaker A: I did say my funny story. [00:21:21] Speaker B: This is a legitimate question. [00:21:23] Speaker A: This is a good one for the viewers out there. I once worked with a woman and she was trying to describe. [00:21:32] Speaker C: From Nantucket. [00:21:34] Speaker A: She was trying to describe Idris Elba. Stop me if you heard this one before. And she couldn't bring herself to say black. She could not bring herself. So in the end she went, this one, this is some woman I work with. And she kept. [00:21:48] Speaker B: She was desperately so handsome. Tall. [00:21:51] Speaker A: Yeah. She was like the actor. And she couldn't say, well groomed. So in the end she said, he's an African American English guy. Oh, my God. [00:22:08] Speaker B: Did she really say African American? [00:22:10] Speaker A: English really said it. And it was all I could do not to piss myself laughing in her face. [00:22:16] Speaker B: African American English jazz. That's great. [00:22:22] Speaker C: There was. There was one time I was bartending here and there was a couple that. They were clearly on, like their second or third date and the woman was ordering for the both of them. And she said. She said, I'll have a gin and tonic. And her. She was a white woman and she was with a black man. And she said, I'll have a gin and tonic and he'll have a. He'll have a. And it kind of trailed off. And I'm looking at her like, what? And he finally goes, a Negroni. I'm looking at her like, what were you afraid to say? We all had a moment. [00:22:55] Speaker B: Yeah, that really happened. [00:22:57] Speaker C: Yeah, it really happened. [00:22:59] Speaker B: Did your story really happen? [00:23:02] Speaker A: Legit, dude. [00:23:03] Speaker C: Now you make One up. [00:23:04] Speaker A: That's my only story at a dinner party. [00:23:07] Speaker C: You wish you could do improv. [00:23:08] Speaker B: Like, Kills every time. [00:23:09] Speaker A: Yeah. I have to bring. I have to somehow guide the conversation around to Idris Elba. Like, hey, have you heard who's in the running for James Bond? Now? That's a big thing. [00:23:18] Speaker B: No, but my. My. Somebody told me that Josh o' Connor from the new Spielberg Disclosure Day movie is. Is going to be the next. [00:23:29] Speaker A: Is he Australian? There's a couple Aussies. Right. [00:23:31] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:23:33] Speaker A: Where do the Aussies come to dominate acting? I know. [00:23:36] Speaker B: This is famous. Australians go Margot Robbie, Heath Ledger, Mel Gibson. We've already done this one. This is the first one we did. [00:23:43] Speaker C: I think in excess. [00:23:46] Speaker B: No, but my question is. Is real. It's not facetious. We. We call. We use the term African American. If you're of African descent living in England, do they call it African, English or British? [00:24:04] Speaker A: No, you're just British. [00:24:06] Speaker B: But. But why do we need the. The add on? [00:24:10] Speaker A: Because it's your class system. [00:24:13] Speaker C: I don't think we do. I don't think we do need it. [00:24:17] Speaker A: Is it because I've only been here for 30 years? Has it been that way a long time, or is that a new, Like, a thing that happened at one point? [00:24:26] Speaker B: It happened at one point. [00:24:27] Speaker C: Yeah, because he. [00:24:30] Speaker B: I think the politically correct term that preceded African American was Negro. And then they're like, I can't say that because that had too many. [00:24:40] Speaker C: I remember even when I was a kid seeing Whoopi Goldberg kind of protest it. She's like, I was born in America. I'm an American. What are you talking about? African American? [00:24:47] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. [00:24:50] Speaker C: I think it's, like, not that popular. It's not, like, considered the. [00:24:55] Speaker A: Keep going on about this. I got to step out. [00:24:57] Speaker B: Where are you going? You have diarrhea? [00:24:59] Speaker C: Maybe he's getting a surprise. [00:25:00] Speaker B: Something's going on. [00:25:01] Speaker C: Yeah, something's happening. He's excited. Okay, well, now I want to know what's happening. [00:25:07] Speaker B: This is our. Our George and Elaine moment. [00:25:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:25:11] Speaker B: Can we exist without him? [00:25:12] Speaker C: Yeah. Maybe we can talk about V8. Like, that's what Mark and I talked about when you left the room. [00:25:18] Speaker B: V8. That time when I wasn't. When I was in the bathroom, we [00:25:21] Speaker C: talked about tomato juice. [00:25:22] Speaker B: Mmm. [00:25:24] Speaker C: Let's talk about ketchup. [00:25:27] Speaker B: I like ketchup. [00:25:29] Speaker C: You don't eat meat? [00:25:30] Speaker B: No. [00:25:31] Speaker C: Yeah. So do you ever eat barbecue sauce? [00:25:36] Speaker B: I like barbecue sauce. [00:25:37] Speaker C: What do you put it on? [00:25:40] Speaker B: Not much. [00:25:41] Speaker C: Right. Because. What could you put it On, Yeah. Do you eat things that simulate meat? You know, like there's a whole fruit freezer section full of it now. [00:25:53] Speaker B: Some of it. I eat the fake chicken. It doesn't matter which. Morningstar. Impossible. I like the fake chicken patty. [00:26:01] Speaker C: When I was in college, I lived with a woman that I was dating, and she got the Morningstar fake chicken. And I, of course, the chicken nuggets. And I'm saying, like, no, because back then, I was a younger me, and I was not willing to open my mind. I said no. I said, I'm not eating any sort of fake chicken. Until I tried it and realized, this is better than the real chicken. [00:26:21] Speaker B: Well, it's very much like the chicken that we grew up with in a cafeteria. Or Burger King's chicken patty or McChicken. McChicken's a little gamier. But the chicken sponge we would have in school, it was chicken patties at school. It was like that Chicken sponge. Sponge is sponge, whether it has meat in it or not. You can make a sponge. [00:26:46] Speaker C: We had spicy chicken on Wednesdays at my school. That was a big deal. And over the summertime, my friend Dave Sanfilippo and I would stock up on them beforehand. We'd put them in the freezer and make one every couple weeks. [00:26:57] Speaker B: Spicy chicken? [00:26:58] Speaker C: Yeah. You couldn't just get them at McDonald's back then. [00:27:00] Speaker B: Oh, you would take them home from school? [00:27:01] Speaker C: Yeah, we'd buy, like, 12 of them for the summer. [00:27:04] Speaker B: That's smart. They'd let you buy all the. Where did you go? [00:27:07] Speaker C: Just a regular school. [00:27:10] Speaker B: They'd let you buy extra food at school and take you to take home food from school? [00:27:16] Speaker C: Sure, why not? [00:27:17] Speaker B: Wait, so you did it? [00:27:19] Speaker C: We didn't do it. [00:27:20] Speaker B: Regular sixth grade and you would get a takeout? [00:27:22] Speaker C: No, no. Like 10th. 11th grade. And. But at the end of the year, we just talked to the lunch lady and said, hey, can we buy 12 of these sandwiches off you? [00:27:31] Speaker B: She couldn't sell them individually? Like, sure she could. [00:27:33] Speaker C: Why not? [00:27:34] Speaker B: There's no till for her to. I guess there is a till. [00:27:36] Speaker C: Yeah. We just bought them. [00:27:38] Speaker B: I thought you meant, like, you went, like, during the day. She's, like, in the kitchen. You want to buy them out of the freezer? [00:27:43] Speaker C: No, just when we're in the lunch line. He gave me 12 of those. [00:27:47] Speaker B: Well, it was weird when you weren't here. We was interviewing me to carry the conversation about my diet. We ended up on fake chicken patties. All right, Mark's back. He's come back from leaving the room. He quickly tottered out of here in great haste. [00:28:05] Speaker A: There's someone dropping something off and they weren't going to stop harassing. [00:28:08] Speaker B: Here's the delivery. [00:28:09] Speaker A: Yep. [00:28:11] Speaker B: Anything good? [00:28:12] Speaker A: Nope. [00:28:15] Speaker B: Anyway, you know, I was going to bring in here I have a bunch of stuff I was going to bring in today, but I forgot it because I was somewhere else before this and I didn't get to go home. I picked up a bunch of stuff for you guys, but one of the things I want to bring in here is a DVD player so we can watch DVDs. [00:28:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:28:35] Speaker B: Could we plug that in here to this TV and we watch DVD? [00:28:38] Speaker A: Guess what I got on the flea market the other day? [00:28:41] Speaker B: What? [00:28:41] Speaker A: A dvd, VHS combo. [00:28:45] Speaker B: Oh, at the flea market? [00:28:46] Speaker A: You don't. [00:28:47] Speaker B: Why aren't you bringing me the flea market? I've asked you to take me there [00:28:50] Speaker A: because you have to be up at [00:28:51] Speaker B: 5:30am well, you think I don't get up that early? I'll start texting you from now on then. And now that I know you're up. [00:28:57] Speaker A: Yeah, this guy had a mountain of shite. I mean, just like, he's one of these guys. You don't get him as much at the Flea anymore. They just, they've got a van and they're just throwing out the back. And I thought, do I take a punt on this? You know, it's probably not going to work. That's probably why it's out. Get it. [00:29:17] Speaker B: I'm sure you. It works. [00:29:19] Speaker A: It's a flea market. He's just. I go, I asked him if it worked and he's, you're at the flea market, dude. Fucking take your chance. So five bucks, I get it home. I'm like, for five bucks, I'll take a pun. [00:29:33] Speaker C: Sure. [00:29:33] Speaker A: DVD works fine. The VHS works great. [00:29:37] Speaker C: Really? [00:29:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:38] Speaker C: Do you have a bunch of VHS's? [00:29:39] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. I still have hundreds of them. [00:29:42] Speaker B: Hey, come on. How much did you pay for that? [00:29:44] Speaker C: Five bucks. [00:29:45] Speaker B: Ah, let me get one of those. [00:29:47] Speaker A: All right, I'll keep an eye out because I've already got one. But the DVD is a bit ropey on it. He'll play the VHS just fine. But the DVD is a bit, A bit. [00:29:58] Speaker B: I got this really cool in storage. It's like a Cube Sony Trinitron from like, it's like this big. Yeah, like 9 inch, 10. [00:30:07] Speaker A: Built in VHS? [00:30:08] Speaker B: No, it's not built in. It's. [00:30:10] Speaker A: It's old. [00:30:11] Speaker B: It has like the. But the channel buttons up here. Yeah, but I want to hook up. I. I had, had, had a vcr. Hooked up to it, but it broke. I want to hook that up, put my kitchen. [00:30:23] Speaker A: Well, someone told me the youth are now watching vhs. [00:30:27] Speaker C: I'm like, oh, oh, did you hear about this? The latest thing is a bunch of gen zers are becoming Catholic. Like Catholicism is making a big comeback. [00:30:36] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah. [00:30:37] Speaker C: Yeah. Because they're looking for something to cling to, and Catholicism offers them that. [00:30:41] Speaker B: It gives you a lot to cling to. [00:30:42] Speaker A: Yeah, sure does cling to my fist, you little punks. [00:30:46] Speaker B: Yeah, there are a lot of kids that are like young kids quoting Bible verse. [00:30:50] Speaker A: Yeah, that's worrying. [00:30:52] Speaker B: Instagrams. [00:30:53] Speaker A: That's worrying. [00:30:54] Speaker C: It is. It's very. It's very concerning. [00:30:55] Speaker B: Worrying of what? [00:30:57] Speaker A: Worrying that the youth are regressing mentally into religion. [00:31:03] Speaker C: Yeah. We're supposed to be going forward. [00:31:06] Speaker A: You must be going forward. We're gonna be. You know, I'm gonna be sitting in my wheelchair dribbling at 90 years old. There's gonna be a bunch of religious [00:31:15] Speaker C: Jehovah's Witnesses at your door. [00:31:17] Speaker A: No, thank you. [00:31:18] Speaker C: Taking your chair. Your chair down the stairs. [00:31:21] Speaker A: That's like being conservative at university. [00:31:24] Speaker B: Yeah, that's your choice. [00:31:29] Speaker C: It's the wrong choice. [00:31:30] Speaker A: It's a choice. Regeneration. [00:31:31] Speaker B: Who are me to judge? You ever heard that expression, who are me? [00:31:35] Speaker C: Who are me to judge? [00:31:36] Speaker B: Who are me to judge? [00:31:37] Speaker A: No, because I don't know any illiterate people. [00:31:40] Speaker B: No, that's. That's the expression. Who are me to judge? [00:31:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:31:45] Speaker B: Who am. Who am I? [00:31:46] Speaker C: Who says that? Catholics. [00:31:47] Speaker B: Yeah. Who are me to judge? [00:31:50] Speaker A: I'm Mark Geary. I sit in judgment. Stop wrecking the mic. [00:31:53] Speaker B: I can't. It keeps going limp and they go like this. That's why I'm sitting facing the other direction, because it's in its natural position. But then I can't see Christian. He's out of my. [00:32:01] Speaker C: Why don't you swing the whole arm that way? [00:32:03] Speaker B: If I come over here. [00:32:04] Speaker A: No. Tighten the mic and then move. [00:32:06] Speaker C: Go sit in the corner. [00:32:07] Speaker A: F sake. [00:32:08] Speaker B: Maybe I'll sit over here. [00:32:09] Speaker C: Yeah, that's kind of cool. [00:32:11] Speaker B: A little closer to you. That. [00:32:12] Speaker A: Get away from me with your Covid. [00:32:15] Speaker B: I smell like. Yeah, like a tadpole. No, but I just want to. I want to bring in a DVD player. We can show DVDs of comedy specials in here. We can watch stuff together, eat lunch. You know, be like our. Like the offices. This is like a production office, huh? You know, we will come up with great ideas for films and things like that. [00:32:38] Speaker A: Is that what you did when you were a Hollywood insider? [00:32:42] Speaker B: We did watch we had to watch tons of movies to, you know, evaluate the product. [00:32:46] Speaker A: Huh. [00:32:48] Speaker B: I took pitch meetings, things like that. [00:32:49] Speaker A: Money for old rope. [00:32:52] Speaker C: Was that out in la? [00:32:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:54] Speaker C: You did that. You know what else is on la? The El Rey Theater. [00:32:58] Speaker B: The El Rey Theater. You're good at keeping us on. [00:33:01] Speaker A: Do you know what El Rey means? [00:33:02] Speaker C: No. It means the something. [00:33:04] Speaker A: The king. [00:33:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:33:05] Speaker B: El Rey. Tortillas here in Chicago. Shout out to them. [00:33:10] Speaker A: I learned that off of. What's it, Planet Terror? [00:33:16] Speaker C: What do you think Kingfisher is? I searched King. When you said that. [00:33:20] Speaker B: That's a kingfisher. [00:33:21] Speaker C: That's a kingfisher. [00:33:22] Speaker B: I. I saw a kingfisher on my camping trip last week. [00:33:25] Speaker C: No. [00:33:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:26] Speaker C: What a coincidence. [00:33:27] Speaker B: Belted Kingfisher. They're not that hard. They're all over river. [00:33:30] Speaker C: El Ray Fisher. [00:33:32] Speaker B: Oh, El Rey Fisher. El Rey Pesco. Pescadero. [00:33:36] Speaker C: Founded Catholicism. [00:33:38] Speaker B: El Rey Pescado. That's Spanish for pescado or kingfisher, you know, but Belted Kingfisher. I don't know how to say belt. All right, well, let's. You want to dive in here because we're trying to keep our shows relatively. [00:33:55] Speaker C: Yeah. Listenable. [00:33:56] Speaker A: Just FYI. I put the king. I put the King. I put the Kamale out in its full two hour. [00:34:03] Speaker B: Oh, you did? [00:34:03] Speaker A: Painful edit. Just FYI. [00:34:06] Speaker B: Director's cut, Kumail. Director's cut. [00:34:09] Speaker A: Yep. So if we still have any listeners after that, I bet even your. I mean, even your Mrs. No, that's a. I bet you're in. Mrs. Is like, okay, this is Breaking Point. [00:34:20] Speaker B: No, that's not. Probably for our general listeners, that episode. That's more of like an inside baseball. [00:34:25] Speaker C: It's funny. I was. I was with one of our listeners, and they were saying, like, I like listening to your. Your podcast, but it's just some of the episodes are so long and there's all these gaps. You know, there's pauses, and they were the same one that's saying, I listen to it on, like, two times the speed. And I'm like, okay, I'll try to clean it up. And then the very next episode was two hours long. [00:34:41] Speaker B: I know. Yeah. [00:34:42] Speaker C: So we really got to get better at this. [00:34:44] Speaker A: But. [00:34:45] Speaker C: And here we are talking about it and wasting your time. [00:34:47] Speaker A: Yep. [00:34:49] Speaker B: But it's natural. We're doing everything natural. This isn't some kind of shtick. [00:34:55] Speaker C: It's also entertainment. We gotta be good at our craft. [00:35:00] Speaker A: Brevity is the soul of wit. [00:35:02] Speaker C: That's right. [00:35:03] Speaker B: I didn't know that expression. [00:35:04] Speaker C: I've heard says somebody Wrote that on one of the clown paintings. [00:35:11] Speaker B: Like the great philosopher said diarrhea. The cops. The great philosopher Basho. I can really hear myself loud today. [00:35:28] Speaker C: Maybe it's because you're in the corner and all the sound waves are bouncing. [00:35:31] Speaker B: I can really hear myself right into your ear holes. [00:35:33] Speaker A: They better not be bouncing the amount we paid to bloody soundproof this hole. [00:35:39] Speaker B: Well, I just. I just think this room has so much potential, you know? [00:35:43] Speaker C: Yeah. As a coat room. [00:35:44] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I think it could be so much more. Open this shit up. Let's get the. Make it a multimedia space. This is like a. Like a creative office. [00:35:57] Speaker A: It's a white elephant nightmare. [00:36:00] Speaker B: We got to get the video going in here too. Let's get the lighting. [00:36:04] Speaker A: I did want to turn that on. [00:36:06] Speaker C: Yeah, we couldn't figure that out. [00:36:08] Speaker A: Find the BAS remote. Now. [00:36:10] Speaker C: It has to have a remote. [00:36:12] Speaker A: You can't. [00:36:12] Speaker C: There's no button on it. [00:36:13] Speaker A: That's how the only light ever turned on was a remote. [00:36:19] Speaker B: It's a cool room. [00:36:20] Speaker A: Well, it's one of them ones you can change the color of the LEDs. [00:36:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:36:23] Speaker A: Shite. [00:36:23] Speaker C: Sounds nice. [00:36:26] Speaker B: I'd be willing to rent this room for what, like, as like an office? [00:36:35] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:36:36] Speaker B: How much per month to rent this room? And you can still sublet it to, you know, the Behind Bars podcast. [00:36:45] Speaker A: You've already got a room. [00:36:47] Speaker B: I don't. I gave it up. [00:36:48] Speaker A: You gave it up? [00:36:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:49] Speaker A: So I'm looking bottled it. Why'd you give it up? [00:36:53] Speaker B: I just wasn't. I wasn't using it enough. You know, if you. [00:36:57] Speaker A: If you'd have asked me, what was he gonna say? I'd have said, yeah, it just wasn't easy enough. Cuz it was too far to get to. [00:37:04] Speaker B: No, it wasn't far at all. I just don't do anything creative. It turns out, you know, that's what I. I got it for and I just wasn't doing anything creative. [00:37:16] Speaker A: Just go in there and posh boxing for half an hour. [00:37:20] Speaker B: Yeah, Just go in there and stare at the wall. You know, raw dog it, look at my phone and then walk out, basically. No, I. I was using it. I. I actually have an. I do art and I've almost completed all these pieces for my art show. Just looking for a place to have the art show. You have any ideas? [00:37:38] Speaker A: Were you like Jackson Pollock where you're like flicking paintbrushes? [00:37:42] Speaker B: No, no, no. I draw. [00:37:44] Speaker A: You should call. You know what your art name should be? Jackson Bollocks. Sign all your paintings Jackson Bollocks. And you'll be. You'll be quids in. [00:37:55] Speaker B: How about. Why not just Jackson Bollock? [00:37:58] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, I guess. [00:38:00] Speaker B: Bollock. Can you say like you always say bollocks? Do you ever say bollock like one ball? [00:38:07] Speaker A: Yeah, I guess you could. [00:38:09] Speaker C: Like the Lance Armstrong. [00:38:11] Speaker A: Yeah. Or [00:38:15] Speaker C: who. I don't know. [00:38:17] Speaker A: Stephen lynch refers frequently to having one testicle. He did in special we just watched. [00:38:23] Speaker B: I never heard that. [00:38:24] Speaker C: I didn't. Yeah, I didn't hear it either. [00:38:25] Speaker B: One ball. I did hear one time. I think he talked about. [00:38:28] Speaker A: No, he says it a couple of times. [00:38:29] Speaker B: I think he's got one ball because [00:38:31] Speaker A: he says, cupping my balls. And he said, well, actually, ball. I'm gonna Google it right now. [00:38:38] Speaker B: All right, well, I'm trying to drag it out. I feel like I'm filibustering before the special just to thwart Christian's efforts to keep us in 45 minutes. [00:38:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:38:48] Speaker B: How much time do we have now? We're. [00:38:50] Speaker C: We're done. [00:38:51] Speaker B: And then a new format. We've already exceeded 45 minutes. [00:38:53] Speaker C: We already stopped. [00:38:54] Speaker B: Time just flies in here, you know, I look at you guys and just time just melts away, you know? I still think we should have lunch in here, though, more often. Like full lunch on the microphones. Sure. [00:39:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:08] Speaker B: And maybe we need it like a radio in here, too, so we can listen to the ball game. I'll bring in a radio. I have a bunch of stuff to bring in. [00:39:19] Speaker C: It'll be. Did you ever watch that? Especially I was telling you about Too funny to fail. [00:39:25] Speaker B: Yeah, I've seen. [00:39:26] Speaker C: It'd be like the Dana Carvey show where they just showed an episode of Seinfeld. We can hold the radio up to the Major League Baseball team. Really get. Yeah. [00:39:33] Speaker B: Listen to the Cub game instead of us. [00:39:35] Speaker C: Right. Every once in a while during commercials, we'll talk about a comedy special. [00:39:40] Speaker B: That's a good idea. [00:39:41] Speaker C: I'm full of them. [00:39:43] Speaker B: Just interlude shit with stuff from the radio. [00:39:45] Speaker C: Yep. [00:39:46] Speaker B: Like, we can. Instead of playing our sponsors, we'll just play the commercials from the radio into the mic. Yeah, that'd be good. Hey, what are you doing over here? You working on your taxes? [00:39:56] Speaker C: He's looking up Steven Lynch's ball. [00:39:58] Speaker A: Yeah. Does Stephen lynch have one testicle? No, Steven lynch does not have one testicle. The rumor comes from his popular raunchy acoustic comedy song titled Half a Man. [00:40:10] Speaker B: Half a half. I think half Jimmy, Half a man, Half a man. [00:40:14] Speaker A: I think he heavily implied only having one in that maybe. [00:40:18] Speaker C: Does Maybe. I might have missed it when I was fast Forwarding through some of the songs. [00:40:23] Speaker B: All right. [00:40:24] Speaker A: What? I had to sit through all of them. [00:40:26] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm sorry for that. [00:40:29] Speaker B: Let's get right into today's comedian Stephen lynch live at the El rey. What year, Christian? [00:40:35] Speaker C: 2004. [00:40:36] Speaker B: 2004, that's right. This is pre pandemic. [00:40:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:40] Speaker B: Geez, I didn't realize it was that old, did you? Mark, do you know the, the year when you were watching it? [00:40:45] Speaker A: His hairstyle sort of suggests. [00:40:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:48] Speaker A: 90s to me. [00:40:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:50] Speaker A: And plus the fact it was very bro y. [00:40:54] Speaker B: Very bro. [00:40:54] Speaker A: Yeah, just I, I did start thinking this is a 90s. [00:40:59] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. Did you watch the YouTube version? [00:41:02] Speaker A: I watched whatever you take, yeah. [00:41:04] Speaker C: Okay. Was the, was the quality subpar for you? [00:41:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:08] Speaker A: Of material? [00:41:10] Speaker C: Yeah, the, the, the video quality a little, little blurry. [00:41:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:16] Speaker C: Looks like it was maybe on a VHS tape. [00:41:18] Speaker A: I was listening on my phone and just glancing. [00:41:21] Speaker C: Oh, okay. Yeah, I was watching on a full 55 inch screen. [00:41:24] Speaker B: Really? You got the full effect. Why did you choose this man? [00:41:29] Speaker C: I played a gig a couple weeks ago with a band. The, the guitar player is the brother of this guy. He's the guy that comes out for the last song and sings on the middle microphone. [00:41:45] Speaker B: Yeah, Drew. [00:41:46] Speaker C: Yes, Drew. And so one of the. So I just met that guy, but one of the other guys I'd known for a long time and he was telling me, said, you know his brother, Steven Lynch? Do you know who that is? You should book him at Lincoln Lodge. And so I got to thinking, well, maybe we'll just watch a special and see if that's a possibility. I think he still tours and he goes to park west when he's in town, as far as I know. So because of all that, I. And I didn't know that the guy that I played the gig with a couple weeks ago was in this special at the end until he walked on stage. Actually, I found out a little bit before that when I was kind of looking up like the IMDb about this and I saw his name, I'm like, oh, okay. Anyway, that's why, That's a good story, Kelly. [00:42:25] Speaker B: Why he chose it. Kelly lynch from Second City. Oh, Kelly lynch the actress. [00:42:30] Speaker A: Kelly lynch the actress from Drugstore Cowboy. [00:42:32] Speaker B: I'm thinking Kelly Leonard. [00:42:34] Speaker A: Kelly lynch was married to. [00:42:37] Speaker B: Kelly lynch was married to Patrick Swayze. [00:42:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:40] Speaker B: No, I think they were together in Roadhouse. [00:42:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, what were you waiting an answer on before? [00:42:49] Speaker C: I said I wasn't. [00:42:50] Speaker A: Okay. [00:42:51] Speaker B: Jesus, you've just been sitting here thinking about Lynches this whole time, have you? Heard anything we've been talking about. [00:42:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I know I did. I heard the whole spiel about Drew lynch and. Because, you know, I was thinking is, you think. You said, oh, he. He does the Park West. I'm like, if you think about the progression early 90s, he's college boy, kid now. All those people. [00:43:13] Speaker C: Yeah, right. [00:43:14] Speaker A: A Park west people. [00:43:16] Speaker C: Right. [00:43:16] Speaker A: So the people. He's moving with the people to the. [00:43:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:43:21] Speaker A: Where they go. [00:43:22] Speaker C: Right. Yeah. That is funny because park. You kind of think of park west as being more of like middle age. Yeah, middle age. They've got some cash, they live in that part of town. That part of town being like East Lake View, Gold Coastish, Lincoln Park. [00:43:37] Speaker B: Does that mean eventually he'll end up in like some suburban performing art center? Yeah. Skokie center for the Performing Arts. [00:43:46] Speaker A: Yep. The. Yeah, they've all stopped screaming about one testicle now and they're just a little more middle aged. [00:43:56] Speaker B: Yeah. I wonder what it. How it plays. [00:43:59] Speaker A: Why was there so much screaming in the audience? Everything he said. [00:44:04] Speaker C: Yeah, they really liked him. [00:44:07] Speaker B: Had you heard of him? [00:44:09] Speaker A: I've heard his name, like repeated over and over and over. I think he's one of them. The one cool thing I like about him is I read on his thing that he avoided comedy clubs and just got into it because someone said, you should do. You should do those funny songs that you used to make up at college. And he said his wife basically is the arbiter. [00:44:32] Speaker C: Really? [00:44:33] Speaker B: What does that mean? The arbiter? [00:44:34] Speaker A: If he thinks of a song and he thinks it's funny, he'll play it to his wife. And if she goes, no, it sucks. He just bends it. [00:44:41] Speaker C: Okay, [00:44:44] Speaker A: now you're on your phone. [00:44:45] Speaker C: Then I didn't get to look up who the other guy joined him with that. [00:44:49] Speaker A: Well, he's dead now. Mark Teague. [00:44:51] Speaker B: Mark Cheek, teach. [00:44:53] Speaker C: Oh, somebody's. We got a caller. [00:44:56] Speaker B: You're not a caller. Somebody's calling me. [00:44:58] Speaker C: But [00:45:01] Speaker B: do you. When you get a call and you look at the number, you're like, geez, I wonder what this is. [00:45:05] Speaker C: If it's a number you don't know [00:45:07] Speaker B: and you worry about it. [00:45:07] Speaker A: I just don't look at my phone for hours and hours on end and then you don't have to worry about it. [00:45:12] Speaker C: What about when you see a missed call from a number that you don't know, that you don't recognize? [00:45:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Worry about it. [00:45:17] Speaker A: No, I don't remember. This phone is the Lincoln Lodges. [00:45:20] Speaker C: Yeah. So you get a million. I see. And that's the same Thing I like, whenever I get one of those, I assume either it's like a rep trying to sell me something for the bar here or a salesperson. So basically just a salesperson. [00:45:34] Speaker B: Then I got it. It's usually for blood. They. They usually want. I have rare blood. They call me 30 times a day. [00:45:41] Speaker C: I don't think I can give blood. [00:45:43] Speaker B: Why? [00:45:43] Speaker C: I think because there's something. Tattoos or. And then there was something else, too. [00:45:50] Speaker A: You got the aids? [00:45:51] Speaker C: No, I think. Actually, I think once when I went to give blood, they did say, like, if you've had a tattoo or unprotected sex in the last year or something like that. [00:45:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:00] Speaker C: I was like, well, I'm out. That's it? Yeah. [00:46:04] Speaker A: That can't be right. [00:46:05] Speaker C: Well, I know. [00:46:06] Speaker A: It's like if you. Have you been to West Africa in the last five years? Blah, blah, blah. [00:46:11] Speaker B: Oh, it was. It was from my eyeglass place. [00:46:16] Speaker A: How much do you sell your blood for? [00:46:18] Speaker B: I don't. [00:46:19] Speaker C: I don't. [00:46:19] Speaker B: I've never sold. I've donated it. And then once they found out I was O negative, like, they went wild for me, and now they want me to come back all the time. And it's like, yeah, yeah. I mean, you can only give it, what, every so many months. [00:46:32] Speaker A: You should be just selling it to wealthy people. [00:46:37] Speaker B: Yeah, I didn't. I didn't know that I could make money off of it. You can sell it. [00:46:45] Speaker C: Yes. You can sell your blood. Yep. That's. That's what people do. [00:46:50] Speaker A: Would you like to join us in [00:46:52] Speaker C: the room whenever you're off break [00:46:57] Speaker B: of like, 500 worth of baseball cards outside the house, someone will clip that. I need someone at the house to run out and get it. Especially if you just tottered out of here like a fucking. Your ass was on fire for. For whatever you need to do. I got some shit going on, and you're gonna give me a hard time about it. [00:47:15] Speaker A: Why you. 500 worth of baseball card? [00:47:18] Speaker B: Yeah, I give them to the kids at the camp. [00:47:21] Speaker A: You don't give them $500. [00:47:22] Speaker B: You don't think so? You got to spend money to make money, all right? That's what you gotta. [00:47:28] Speaker A: Why don't you just give them some shitty thing that you found it, like, because. Flea market. [00:47:35] Speaker B: Because you gotta. There's got to be some kind of, like, chance of something great, you know, if you just give them shite all the time. [00:47:43] Speaker A: You don't need to drop 500. I mean, I've bought. I've given away boxes of baseball cards [00:47:48] Speaker B: that I just You've not. You're not in the market anymore. It's a whole different game now. The floor on these cards is like five bucks a pack. The floor to get in on new cards that what is coming out of these packs are all kinds of stuff that's very coveted. It's like Willy Wonka and the golden ticket. Right. So you got to give them a chance at the golden ticket or else they just fucking. Just throw it away. They don't want it, can't give them. [00:48:17] Speaker C: So how did that guy die? Did you see Teak? [00:48:20] Speaker B: Teak, the guy at the end, Teach. [00:48:23] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, he was. He was quite young, so I think it was cancer. [00:48:27] Speaker C: Oh, that's rough. [00:48:30] Speaker B: All right. Well, I'd never heard of this fellow Stephen Lynch. Not at all. I confused him with the actor Stephen Jeffries. [00:48:39] Speaker A: Time out. You're obsessed with Dr. Dirty John Valby. [00:48:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:44] Speaker A: This guy is utterly adjacent. [00:48:48] Speaker B: So adjacent. [00:48:49] Speaker A: And you never fully adjacent. [00:48:52] Speaker C: So much so that even when this special started. Now, of course, I had no clue what we were in for going into this. No. And then it even. It mirrored the John Valby special that you had recommended so much that it even paused in between the songs and had a little title screen that come up that introduced the title of the next song. [00:49:09] Speaker B: Just like in Valby. [00:49:10] Speaker C: It was. It was. And I. I couldn't believe how similar it was. So I thought this would be right up your alley. [00:49:15] Speaker B: Well, the guys that perform comedy like this are relegated to the. The deep caverns of YouTube where they're, you know, no production value. Special has to live. [00:49:28] Speaker A: Right? [00:49:28] Speaker B: Like Val. It's drek. I mean, like, this is. This is as low on the comedy totem poles you can get, right? It's even worse than Valby because Valby did it first. This guy's just been stealing Valby's act. [00:49:48] Speaker C: He's got a better voice. He's got one hell of a voice. Can't deny that. And he's a better songwriter. [00:49:54] Speaker B: Whatever. [00:49:55] Speaker C: He's a better musician all around. [00:49:56] Speaker B: I'm not gonna beat around the bush because you. You're concerned about the time. This is the worst shit I ever saw in my life. Really, truly was unbelievably bad. [00:50:06] Speaker C: I wrote. Bill definitely loves this, but he may not say so. [00:50:10] Speaker B: I don't love any of this. [00:50:12] Speaker A: You know what? [00:50:13] Speaker C: If we could. [00:50:14] Speaker A: If we could talk about the structure. The one thing I noticed about three songs in is every song is structured the same. Where he goes. He'll sing like something like really earnest or whatever. [00:50:26] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:26] Speaker A: And Then, boom, in comes the. But I like to stick it in your ass. [00:50:31] Speaker C: Like. [00:50:31] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:50:32] Speaker A: Everything's like, I worship you from there. And every single song was like a verse and then a pow in the [00:50:40] Speaker C: face accompanied by a facial expression that. [00:50:43] Speaker B: You crack the code, Mark. [00:50:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I could crack the code. I could be a dirty songwriter. [00:50:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:49] Speaker B: Geez, I think anybody could be. [00:50:53] Speaker A: Is that a homework assignment? [00:50:55] Speaker C: Write a dirty song. [00:50:56] Speaker A: We all have to come back with verse. One verse and the chorus of a collaboration. [00:51:02] Speaker B: I won't be doing my homework for next week, I'll tell you that. [00:51:05] Speaker C: Why not? [00:51:05] Speaker B: It's not my cup of tea. [00:51:07] Speaker C: Maybe you can draw the album cover. [00:51:10] Speaker B: Nope. I want to forget this as soon as possible. [00:51:12] Speaker A: Three teenage sons. You've got a look. You've got, like, the Rogers and Hammerstone of dirty songwriting team in there. [00:51:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:19] Speaker A: You could piss it. [00:51:21] Speaker B: Yeah. Put them to work on dirty songwriting. [00:51:23] Speaker A: Just. Just lie and say, yeah, I created it. [00:51:27] Speaker B: Who's working in this filth today? Who's. [00:51:30] Speaker C: Yes. Who does this now? Okay, you know what? I was looking at it. I was watching the way he sang some of his songs, and I was wondering if Bo Burnham was ever influenced by him. Not that Bo Burnham writes similar material, but some of the. Just like the style that he would sing the end of. Yeah. Some of. Some of the lines. Yeah. I recognized. And I knew that is from. Because I've seen that Bo Burnham special, what. So many times I'm like, that sounds just like what Bo Burnham does. Now, of course, this precedes Bo Burnham by quite some time, so I wonder if Bo Burnham. [00:52:04] Speaker B: Yeah. There are some similarities to Burnham here in the facial expressions and the intensity of the singing. I'm stuck on. Is this guy clearly influenced by Valby? Do you think he's seen. [00:52:19] Speaker C: I wonder. I would really like to know. [00:52:21] Speaker B: Yeah. Because there's a lot of Valby in here. [00:52:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:52:25] Speaker A: There's a lot of Valley style, though, in it. [00:52:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:52:27] Speaker A: Valby is just like. [00:52:29] Speaker C: It's definitely a different musical style. [00:52:32] Speaker B: Yeah. Because it's different music. With the music Valvey plays is like 1950s, like. [00:52:38] Speaker C: Like vaudevillian. Yeah. [00:52:39] Speaker B: Vaudevillian. Yeah. This isn't as much Vaudevillian, but it definitely has a formula and a pattern that if you're a musician, you're seeing, like, the same two chords, Right. That he's playing the whole time. It's not very intricate music he's playing. [00:52:57] Speaker A: Is there anything in there for you to say? All right. [00:53:01] Speaker B: That I like? [00:53:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Because I liked it when he brought that of the bloke on. [00:53:10] Speaker C: Yeah, that's when it kind of got good at that point. Yeah, it added something different. [00:53:15] Speaker A: Then it became, okay, this is just dirty song. [00:53:18] Speaker C: I was thinking about it. If I was watching it live. If I was sitting there in the room two or three songs in, I would have started looking at my watch like, how much. How much more of this are we gonna have to sit through? [00:53:28] Speaker A: Would you though this is in the 90s, 2004. [00:53:32] Speaker C: I. I don't know. Well, let's just say now, if I were sitting in that room now, I would have gotten pretty bored with it. But then when the second guy came out, I was thinking about live, then I would have been locked in with the back and forth. How coordinated their. Their singing was. Harmonies. [00:53:52] Speaker A: Yeah, it's more like a sketch. [00:53:54] Speaker C: Exactly. And I think at that point I could. I could think, okay, now this was worth at least showing up. [00:54:01] Speaker B: No, for me, you see this other guy come out and go, oh, Jesus. That's what I thought coming out. [00:54:05] Speaker C: That's what I thought. Right? I did not want to play with this. Right. [00:54:08] Speaker B: I think I got two ass souls I gotta listen to. Get me out of here. Yeah, no, Mark, there's nothing redemptive here for me. I think anyone that takes this tack of comedy, playing the guitar to songs and dirty songs like this, it's the lowest form of comedy there is. You might say ventriloquism or whatever. This is the lowest of the low. This is the worst shit you could ever put your eyes or ears on, Bar none. Now, my love of Valby is that I grew up on John Valby. Not because I wanted to. He was just around and I learned about him and he was filthy. And of course I opened for him, you know. But no, this. This shit is. He's stolen Valby's act for one, right? And it's not as good as Valby. [00:55:12] Speaker C: That's kind of like saying any comic stolen other comedians act. If there's something similar. I mean, it's. It's not stealing an act. It's just. It's a brand that's out there. Anybody can do it. [00:55:22] Speaker B: I hate him. [00:55:24] Speaker A: I mean, I hate every minute of this now, but maybe when I was a youth, yeah, I listened to dirty songs when I was a youth and I thought they were funny. We talked about them like Iver Biggin and stuff like that. Now if you have a Biggin. What I have a Biggin was like, oh, Iver Biggin was the, you know, the Wanker song. [00:55:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:55:46] Speaker A: What are you cracking in your, I [00:55:47] Speaker C: don't know, baseball cards. [00:55:49] Speaker B: I was eating. I was eating gummy frogs last night. [00:55:53] Speaker C: I had a frog noise queued up before, too. [00:55:56] Speaker A: All right, say it again. [00:55:57] Speaker B: I had a gummy. I was eating gummy frogs last night. Well, Jesus, I said before, but you like gummy frogs. You ever have those? The white bellies and the green backs? [00:56:10] Speaker A: No. [00:56:11] Speaker B: Good. I. Yeah, maybe. I. I don't like. It's not the filth. It's. If you play these songs, like, who wants to hear the song again? Right? You hear it once, you never want to hear that again. [00:56:24] Speaker A: Yeah, right. [00:56:25] Speaker B: Like here. Oh, it's a song about the. The mentally guy. Love this, you know? Like what? Like, oh, I can't wait to hear this again. [00:56:33] Speaker C: Well, look, the audience. The audience knew too. Like, they. They were like, oh, here comes this one. [00:56:37] Speaker B: Yeah, that is. It's so offensive. [00:56:39] Speaker A: This is. This. This is his. Let it be. [00:56:41] Speaker B: Yeah, it's so offensive. It's about people with mental challenges. Then abortion. The. The filthy abortion stuff, right? The priest, the altar boy one. Oh, the. The wishing your grandfather would die to get the money. The worst one is the superhero one, because that's so much like Valby, where he's just waiting for people to shout out names. And he does that for like 20. [00:57:09] Speaker C: Oh, my God. That went on forever. [00:57:11] Speaker B: God. [00:57:11] Speaker C: Jesus Christ. Let's move on. [00:57:14] Speaker B: And he just. [00:57:16] Speaker A: Anyway, did you get his booking? His agent's name for the booking that no do. [00:57:22] Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, oh, did I hear right? No, no, I must have slipped that one. [00:57:28] Speaker B: Get him. Right, Right. See what kind of crowd turns up. What fucking cares? [00:57:33] Speaker C: I bet they're drinkers. The bar would do good. [00:57:35] Speaker B: Maybe he'll fill it up. Yeah, seriously, try to get. Get him booked. [00:57:40] Speaker A: But social media, no, but this podcast, [00:57:44] Speaker C: you know, originally I was going to. When I. The last I spoke to the guy I played that gig with, I said, hey, what was the name of that guy's brother that's a comedian? He said. He told me, Steven Lynch. And so that was the last text I got from him. So I was looking forward to the next text I send him. Will be a link to this episode. And as I was watching last night, I'm thinking, I don't know if that's gonna happen or not. [00:58:04] Speaker B: Yeah, don't let him know about this episode. But what do you think it costs to book a guy like Stephen Lynch? What do you. You've. You've dealt with these kind of big names before, Mark. If you want to get Stephen lynch here, one Night only. Well, he just keeps. [00:58:18] Speaker A: He just keeps. The door prize in Instagram is only 12k followers. [00:58:25] Speaker C: It probably doesn't get a lot of the youths. [00:58:27] Speaker B: He probably. [00:58:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh yeah. It's age, isn't it? [00:58:29] Speaker B: He probably burned out it in 2005. Right. And then what is he just like? [00:58:34] Speaker A: Well, he didn't burn out if he's playing Park West. [00:58:37] Speaker C: However, when's the last time, when did [00:58:39] Speaker B: he play Park West? [00:58:39] Speaker C: Yeah, let's find that out. I'll look that up. Little tidbit of information up. [00:58:43] Speaker B: But just guessing, right, Who. How much is it going to cost to get Steven lynch in here one night? [00:58:49] Speaker C: Well, he would just keep the door, wouldn't he? [00:58:51] Speaker A: Yeah, you. It's a door deal. [00:58:52] Speaker B: So that's how you do the deals. Yeah, you don't have to pay him anything. Can, Can I be. [00:58:56] Speaker A: Well, no, you have to pay him. You have to give him a garage. So booking is a negotiat of minimum and versus net. Right? So let's say an agent comes to you and they go, please book my client. And they're always trying to palm you off with the shitty ones that no one wants to see. Right? They don't gift you the good ones. So they will come in and it's a minimum versus percentage net. So they'll say, well, we want a guarantee of 500, but we want 80 versus net, say. So what that means is, is they're getting 500, whatever happens. [00:59:39] Speaker B: $500. [00:59:40] Speaker A: Yeah, but if they, if, let's say they sell the place out, they want [00:59:46] Speaker B: some of that too. [00:59:47] Speaker A: They want, they don't want some of that. It's like a tipping point. It's like you're getting 500. 500, 500, 500. Then once you're over that, then it becomes a percentage net. So like for him, his agent's probably not even going to return our call, truth be told. Because if he's playing park west, he [01:00:06] Speaker C: played park west seven months ago. [01:00:08] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, so. So we're not even in the negotiation. Because let's say park west holds what? Minimum? A thousand. Right, Right. And he's, he's doing what, a $40 ticket? So he's $40,000. So if he's getting 75% net of that, he's getting 30 grand for that night. What's he gonna get here? A couple of grand maybe. His agent's not even returning the call. [01:00:37] Speaker C: Do you want to notice Tour was called that he was on. It's called the ME Tour. [01:00:43] Speaker B: Me? [01:00:44] Speaker C: Yeah, the ME tour. [01:00:45] Speaker B: Me too. Like, me too. [01:00:46] Speaker C: Yeah, I think so. And the little description, whether he's singing an ode to queer tattoos, telling his potential paramour all the things he won't be doing for her, ain't no fighting the line or lamenting his new vegan lifestyle. Toe ferky, Toe fuck yourself. [01:01:02] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Who could. Who would like. [01:01:07] Speaker C: Oh, and the tagline is, I want some meat. [01:01:10] Speaker B: Like, you're just the lowest of the low. If this is the kind of comedy [01:01:14] Speaker C: you like, can you imagine buying a ticket to this? [01:01:16] Speaker B: No. [01:01:16] Speaker C: Bringing somebody. [01:01:18] Speaker A: This is all theaters. I mean, this is city wineries. [01:01:21] Speaker B: Well, he's on the same level of, [01:01:22] Speaker A: like, a lot of city wineries. [01:01:25] Speaker B: Yeah, he's a guy in Tom Green. [01:01:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:01:27] Speaker B: Park west is Tom Green. [01:01:29] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Tom Green was there, wasn't he? Yeah. [01:01:32] Speaker A: No way Tom Green's filling Park West. [01:01:34] Speaker B: You don't think he could fill the Park West? [01:01:35] Speaker A: No way. [01:01:36] Speaker C: Didn't he just do that? Maybe he didn't fill it, but he was just there recently. A year ago, when we were doing the podcast. [01:01:42] Speaker B: I wanted to see it. [01:01:43] Speaker A: That's again, that's a 90s. Aging, aging out and taking your fans with you to the next venue. How does park west survive? [01:01:52] Speaker C: I don't know. [01:01:53] Speaker A: They do three shows a month. [01:01:55] Speaker C: Right. [01:01:55] Speaker A: In the most expensive real estate area of Chicago. Something's up there. Oh, he's off again. [01:02:06] Speaker C: Who are you talking to? [01:02:09] Speaker A: Stephen lynch is way out of some [01:02:12] Speaker C: football cards show up at your door. [01:02:14] Speaker B: Well, so. No. Yeah, baseball. So you have somebody here working to get people like Stephen lynch, or are you not even trying for those. If you don't have somebody that's going after these big fish. [01:02:28] Speaker C: Right. [01:02:29] Speaker B: I'd like to be the guy that goes after the big names. See if I can book like Robin Williams or whoever. [01:02:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:02:37] Speaker B: Not him, obviously. [01:02:38] Speaker C: Yeah. I don't know if he's gonna make it. [01:02:40] Speaker A: Do you remember one time, the original Lincoln restaurant one. This young lad pitched me an idea. He goes, mark. He goes, this is obviously. This is 20, this is long years ago. He goes, cosby is my all time hero. What if we did. What if we. He's passed away, unfortunately. Like, what if we did Ticket for Bill Cosby at the Link. The Lincoln. He goes, that'd be. That'd be 100 people. $100 in the small intimate venue, and we just give him ten grand. And. And I was like, well, you know, he did. Whatever he does. It isn't 10 grand. Or if he's. Yeah, but he punt on it. But you can imagine if we'd have done it. And then that would have been our signature thing that we booked where the. We booked Bill Cosby. And then years later, we're like, no, no, we never booked him. No, no, it wasn't us. [01:03:45] Speaker B: I'm. I'm laughing because he thought. This guy thought he could get Bill Cosby for 10 grand. He ain't gonna do 10 grand. [01:03:52] Speaker A: No, I mean, I. I remember when we booked for the comedy festival, we booked Don Rickles for the Chicago theater. [01:04:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:04:01] Speaker A: And that was 10 grand. [01:04:03] Speaker B: That. That. But that was 30 years ago. [01:04:05] Speaker A: I don't know what. What these fuckers want now is. Is like, I hate it. They stand on stage and talk about, oh, we need to share the wealth. We want equality. And it's like, yeah. Why does your agent say you want five grand just for getting out of bed then? Because I don't know anyone who's getting that except you. [01:04:30] Speaker B: So how much do you think you get? It would cost to get Caleb Huron. [01:04:34] Speaker A: Ooh, I know you. We do have a. We do have a, you know, connection there. And that can help you. I don't know, because I think the last time he appeared here, he said we couldn't publicize it because he had his real gig in town. You know, he just said, I don't know. I. I find a lot of them don't even want to get out of bed for less than three. Three grand. [01:05:00] Speaker B: Three grand. [01:05:01] Speaker A: That's not our economics, so. [01:05:03] Speaker B: And how many spots in that room? [01:05:06] Speaker A: There's 120 seats. So you re. You know, then. Then you're jacking the price up, which is out of our mission statement. [01:05:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:05:15] Speaker A: Like, I don't want to be a, [01:05:16] Speaker B: you know, 40 for the big names, though. [01:05:19] Speaker A: Yeah. But. [01:05:20] Speaker B: But, but what's great. It's like when. When, you know, like when I went and saw Mike D in that little place. [01:05:26] Speaker A: Right. [01:05:26] Speaker B: It's like this place, they could have, you know, sold a million more tickets. [01:05:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:05:31] Speaker B: To get to see somebody that you really like in a small venue, you're willing to pay more for. You know that, right? [01:05:36] Speaker C: People are. [01:05:37] Speaker B: You know, they'll pay 100 bucks if they get to see him in, like, a living room. Fuck, yeah. [01:05:41] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know. To be honest, we don't really, quote, play that game or, you know, it's. It's not. I didn't get into this to be doing $50 tickets. [01:05:52] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:05:54] Speaker B: What if you could get Stuart Lee? You'd take it. [01:05:57] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [01:05:57] Speaker B: Take it in the chute. [01:05:58] Speaker C: What then? [01:05:58] Speaker B: To get Stuart Lee I mean, we've. [01:06:01] Speaker A: I. I've pitched his agent many times to bring him to it, to America, but I think you get him. I think we could get him. [01:06:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, that'd be pretty great. [01:06:13] Speaker C: Does he not do North American tours? [01:06:16] Speaker A: Didn't. I didn't send you the link where a week after we, Kelsey tried to book him here. [01:06:21] Speaker C: Oh, really? [01:06:22] Speaker A: He was on Channel four and he said, I just got offered, you know, a. A comedy. A comedy club in Chicago. He goes, I can't go to America anymore. It's a fascist state. [01:06:36] Speaker C: Huh? [01:06:38] Speaker A: They definitely not going to like what I have to say there. [01:06:41] Speaker B: Bring it on, let's go. [01:06:45] Speaker A: But yeah, I've. I've been pitching him for years. Probably five or six years. I've been emailing his agent saying, is he. Is he ready to come to Chicago yet? [01:06:54] Speaker B: Yeah, but I think that's that. Having these big nights where you, you once in a while you snag these big fishes. That's what makes this place. [01:07:00] Speaker A: Well, yeah, that. We used to do that back at the diner. It was. For whatever reason, it was a lot easier. You know, we had people like Chelsea Peretti and Natasha Leggero and blah, blah, blah, like we got big names. But now I think. I don't know what it is. [01:07:19] Speaker C: Do you think it's just something charming about doing the diner to them? They're like, yeah, that sounds fun. [01:07:24] Speaker B: This place still has that. [01:07:25] Speaker A: No, I think the economics changed. No, I think live entertainment now. If you look at the cost, sure, yeah. And these agents know there's big bucks sitting out there, you know, so we're not even. We're not even in the game. [01:07:41] Speaker B: But they'll always be cachet for playing a small club with credibility. Just. Just like in music, you know that, right? Like when the Rolling Stones play the double door, whatever. Like. Right. [01:07:51] Speaker C: Stuff like that, that's they want. [01:07:52] Speaker B: Or Jack White comes in and plays Park West. [01:07:55] Speaker A: You see, people say that like it's a common occurrence. It isn't. It's. Once every decade you make it more common. You can't. [01:08:06] Speaker B: Then it loses its cash. [01:08:07] Speaker A: Economics. [01:08:09] Speaker B: Not every, not everybody does everything for economics. [01:08:13] Speaker A: Someone Fred, a comedian with an agent all the agent cares about. They're getting 10%. [01:08:22] Speaker B: I know a comedian doesn't have an agent that would do it. [01:08:24] Speaker A: Hang on a sec. [01:08:26] Speaker B: Are you familiar with Khalil? [01:08:29] Speaker C: You ever heard of the guy? [01:08:30] Speaker B: You've heard of Aaron Foster? He'll come in here and do this. No agent fees, nothing. Yeah, 100 bucks. [01:08:38] Speaker A: Can they shift 100 tickets I don't know, cuz that's. [01:08:43] Speaker B: I don't know what kind of following he has. He's got a following. I don't know what it's like. [01:08:46] Speaker A: Now hang on. [01:08:47] Speaker B: Now you're on the phone. All right, let's. [01:08:49] Speaker A: Hello? Still in the middle of the pod. [01:08:58] Speaker B: Just messing. [01:08:58] Speaker C: Put him on put. Put her on speaker. [01:09:01] Speaker A: No, you can check that. He's, you know, looking bright and bushy tail. [01:09:06] Speaker B: Ask her if she wants a donut from Mr. Beast. [01:09:08] Speaker C: She asked about me. Am I looking bright and bushy tailed [01:09:12] Speaker A: now We. We had an incident yesterday with one of the cats. Yes. Oh, what? The. One of the cats turned our backyard into a. A bunny. Just. It was like a graveyard. [01:09:28] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:09:29] Speaker A: He found a. He found a nest. [01:09:31] Speaker C: Oh, no. [01:09:33] Speaker B: So bunny babies. [01:09:35] Speaker A: Yeah. You know, I'm very pro, Bonnie. I had pet rabbits. I hate to see them. [01:09:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:09:40] Speaker A: You know, squash at the side of the road. I walk out in the morning and there's like a half dead bunny there. Yeah. For sake. Then I walk around the garden, I find two more. Then at night he comes back with one in his mouth. Then there's another one and I'm like, Jesus. Like. So now I've got the one. One I salvaged. Just. I got it, you know, did all the thing to. To try because they're in shock. [01:10:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:10:08] Speaker A: Like when a rabbit gets attacked, it's gonna die of shock. Not just the. [01:10:12] Speaker C: I've heard that. Yeah. [01:10:13] Speaker A: And so, you know, we're trying to save this one. So I knew that. [01:10:18] Speaker B: What are you gonna do with the one? You're gonna bring him inside? [01:10:20] Speaker A: I've got him in a little box right now. We. We sort of calmed him down. He's open, he's. He's sort of, you know, oh my God alert. And he did eat a bit of lettuce that I gave him, but it's just like. Jesus Christ. It was like. It was like the beaches of Normandy. My God. [01:10:37] Speaker C: I was at my buddy's house once in. In Buffalo and he had this little Boston terrier and there was a nest of bunnies and the. The dog kept messing with it. And this dog is this little. It's. It's not a big dog, you know, it's the size of a handbag, you know, and it doesn't have a big mouth as a result. And it got its. It got its hands on or paws on one of this bunny's nest and one of them came out and it. It bit the bunny in half just easily. Just like that. Just like nothing. Just like, you're looking at. It's got these tiny little teeth. Like, how the hell did you just, like. Clean cut. [01:11:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:11:09] Speaker B: Primal. [01:11:09] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:11:10] Speaker A: I don't know how baby rabbits survive because the nests are just built in. Open. [01:11:14] Speaker C: Yeah, open. Well, you got to assume most of them don't, Right? [01:11:17] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, that's why they have so many. But I'm like, Jesus Christ, rabbits, at least hide. [01:11:23] Speaker B: But this bunny that you now have is. Is a offspring of two dead rabbits now, right? Like, you can't just leave it in the wild. You've got to raise this thing. [01:11:33] Speaker A: Well, we'll see. It's. It might have come out of the nest, and that's how the rabbit. [01:11:37] Speaker C: That's how my cat's ready to branch out into the world. [01:11:40] Speaker A: Yeah. But it's, you know, it's a. He's. He's just a assassin. My cat. [01:11:45] Speaker B: Will he kill him in the house, though? If he can get. [01:11:47] Speaker A: He bought one into the house one time and it was still alive. So we. You know. [01:11:52] Speaker B: But the one that's being cared for now by you and Heather, will this. Will your cat still look at that as prey? [01:11:58] Speaker A: Yeah, if he. If he sees it. [01:11:59] Speaker B: But you can't domesticate that situation. [01:12:01] Speaker A: No. [01:12:02] Speaker B: Like, no. Okay, well, this has been another episode of. [01:12:07] Speaker C: Yeah. Rabbit talk. [01:12:08] Speaker B: Dr. Mark and his Wild Animals. [01:12:11] Speaker A: I haven't owned rabbits for 20 years, and I'm still known as the rabbit guy. [01:12:15] Speaker C: Well, so it's, you know, it's an indelible market. [01:12:18] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, it's. [01:12:19] Speaker B: It's different. It's different. All right, well, we won't be seeing Bill Cosby, you won't be seeing Stuart Lee, and apparently you won't be seeing Stephen lynch here at the Lincoln Lodge anytime soon. But we'll be happy to give you our reviews so you can go see him at. [01:12:40] Speaker A: We've got. Because you're an SNL head. We do have Melissa Villa, senor doing it. [01:12:45] Speaker C: Oh, really? [01:12:46] Speaker A: On Saturday. [01:12:46] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'll come for that. [01:12:48] Speaker A: Yeah. This the last. [01:12:52] Speaker B: I think it's via senor, but okay. [01:12:54] Speaker A: Yeah, the last Saturday. The Saturday just been. We will have Melissa Villa, senor coming [01:13:02] Speaker B: in, whatever Saturday that is. I would love to be there. That's fun. She's pretty good. Never seen her act. Maybe we should review her act. Okay, then get on. [01:13:13] Speaker C: Maybe somebody can pick that one. [01:13:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:13:15] Speaker A: I'll put you in the green room. [01:13:16] Speaker B: Okay. All right, let's go around, and then we'll be looking ahead to next week. [01:13:22] Speaker C: Are we going to do a binary, like we did last time. Is it going to be one bollock or two bullocks? [01:13:27] Speaker B: No, we're going to do bollock. [01:13:29] Speaker C: Yeah, but how many. How many bollock out of five bullock? [01:13:32] Speaker B: Yeah. Out of five bollocks. [01:13:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:13:34] Speaker B: How many bollocks do you give Stephen Lynch? Mark, this is Christian's choice personal connection. Keep that in mind when you review him. Friend of a friend. [01:13:46] Speaker C: It's not a friend of a friend. [01:13:47] Speaker B: Could be, you know, someone comes through here at some point. So go ahead. [01:13:51] Speaker A: It's one bollock. [01:13:52] Speaker B: One bollock out of five bollocks. [01:13:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:13:55] Speaker B: Very low score. Give us some bullet points on it. [01:13:59] Speaker A: Maybe 40 years ago, I'd have been laughing my ass off. [01:14:03] Speaker B: Would anyone be laughing at this? Could this humor play at all today? In today's. [01:14:08] Speaker C: I mean, I guess it does over at park west just last December, but [01:14:12] Speaker B: could it play mainstream? [01:14:15] Speaker C: I don't think so. [01:14:15] Speaker B: You couldn't see this be this kind of being given a special. [01:14:20] Speaker A: Just sell Nick with a guitar. So it could be. [01:14:24] Speaker C: But even. Even that's kind of passe at this point. [01:14:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:14:28] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm gonna give him. I can't even give him a bollock. [01:14:34] Speaker C: Yeah, that's tough. [01:14:35] Speaker B: I'm giving him no bollocks out of five. [01:14:37] Speaker C: Wow. [01:14:38] Speaker B: It's just the shit end of the stick. The bottom of the barrel. The worst kind of comedy that. That you can make. Hiding behind the guitar, the dirty songs, ripping it off. Other. [01:14:49] Speaker A: How do you answer the charges of hypocrisy in that view? [01:14:53] Speaker B: How's that? Did I do an act like this? No, no. [01:14:57] Speaker A: But someone you've championed, whose career. [01:15:01] Speaker B: I told. I already explained that. I already explained that. This guy's like Dane Cook gone. Val B. Gone. Everything that's bad about comedy. Zero. [01:15:10] Speaker A: So you're okay with that? What with your. [01:15:14] Speaker B: I don't. I don't like Valby. I don't think Valby is a good comedian. It's horrendous. Offensive. These were the most offensive songs I've. I've ever heard. The most offensive material I've ever heard. Make fun of people with, you know, disabilities. Christian, I don't know why you chose this, but go ahead. [01:15:33] Speaker C: I already described. I explained why I chose it. [01:15:35] Speaker B: Yeah, I do know you chose it. [01:15:39] Speaker C: I liked it when fat Scott Adsett came on stage and they had a solid closing song, so. [01:15:47] Speaker B: Was that Scott Adsett? [01:15:48] Speaker C: No, but it kind of looked like him. Especially with the Vaseline on the lens. Yeah, I was watching how many bollock? One bruised Bullock. [01:15:56] Speaker B: Oh, one bruised bollock. Is this the worst. Is this the worst we've ever reviewed? [01:16:02] Speaker C: I don't know if they. [01:16:04] Speaker A: Is it. Is it Brett Goldstein bad? [01:16:07] Speaker C: Yes, I think. I think it's the worst. I. There's. There were times I was just grimacing at the screen. I couldn't stand it when. When the woman came on screen to feed him the beer, and he kept doing that, like nursing from the tea. Look. Oh, God. And then he kept doing things like, now I got to start the song over because I can't stop laughing at my own whistling. Dude, just. [01:16:26] Speaker B: It was the worst. [01:16:27] Speaker C: Just get it done. Just get it done. Let's get out of here. [01:16:29] Speaker A: That mike blowjob went on for a while. [01:16:31] Speaker C: Oh, my God. It was. It was unbearable. Actually. I lower it to zero bollocks. [01:16:38] Speaker B: Zero bollocks. You want to change? We've both gone zero bollock. You've given this some kind of, you know. [01:16:45] Speaker A: Well, I'm trying to take a broader view. [01:16:48] Speaker B: Okay, well, in that broad view, what. What in here merits even a single star or single bollock? [01:16:56] Speaker A: That he has. He has musicianship. He has a flair for the presentation of it. You know, that's. That's one star. [01:17:06] Speaker B: One star. [01:17:07] Speaker C: If anything, I think it's a waste of musicianship. He is an incredible musician with a great voice, and he wasted doing this. Yeah, it's a damn shame. [01:17:16] Speaker B: Yeah. All right, you heard it here. [01:17:19] Speaker A: Well, you. You could. If you have a quorum, you can still vote. This worse than Goldstein. [01:17:27] Speaker B: I don't want to let Goldstein off the hook, though. He's got a show coming out with JLo. [01:17:33] Speaker A: It's down to you, too. I. I'm out of that running. If you two between you want to push this down to the sub Goldstein [01:17:43] Speaker C: level, that would really round out our certificates up here. There was one awarded to Bill, one to Mark, and then I can be rewarded. [01:17:50] Speaker B: I gave. I thought I gave you one. Oh, it was Mark. [01:17:53] Speaker C: No. Yeah, it's to Mark. And what. What does this say? Recommendation for all time for jokes. Oh, yeah, but I like that one. [01:17:59] Speaker B: I said that was the worst one I ever saw. Josie Long. [01:18:01] Speaker C: All right. And I gave you one for Leanne Morgan. [01:18:04] Speaker B: Right. [01:18:05] Speaker A: So you could return the favor with a Lynch one. [01:18:08] Speaker C: Yeah, I would. Hey, I would make that one myself. All right. [01:18:11] Speaker B: Yep. Worst ever. [01:18:13] Speaker C: It was. [01:18:14] Speaker A: Talking of which, this is. We just published episode 39 of the second series. So our first series was about 14 [01:18:25] Speaker C: episodes, and we've done 39 in season [01:18:28] Speaker A: 39 of season two. We haven't quite got the. The maths down here. [01:18:33] Speaker B: We're in season four. [01:18:34] Speaker A: Yeah, well, it's never been because we didn't do a best and worst. [01:18:38] Speaker C: Yeah, well, hey, we can. We can next week. We can certainly do a best and worst. And I think I know which I'm picking for worst. [01:18:47] Speaker B: All right, well, next will be next week. We will be watching Old friend. Why are you looking at the phone? Old friend of the Lincoln Lodge, Pete Holmes and Silly, silly fun boy. 2026. Various platforms. You can see this. It's available on, I don't know, Netflix, I think. No. Pete Holmes YouTube channel. Free. The full hour on Pete Holmes YouTube channel. Pete Holmes, Silly, silly Fun Boy. Old friend of the Lodge. [01:19:25] Speaker A: Yep. I'll find out what we booked him for. [01:19:29] Speaker B: How much you paid him. Yeah, all right. See if we can get him on too. All right, Take us out. [01:19:33] Speaker C: All right.