Review: Randy Writes A Novel, Randy Feltface

[00:00:08] Speaker A: Well, thank you. This is amazing. This is like Christmas. I got new glasses. Did he get any? He doesn't need them. [00:00:14] Speaker B: No, I guess not. [00:00:14] Speaker A: Young man. [00:00:15] Speaker C: Yeah, he doesn't have Wankers squint as. [00:00:19] Speaker A: Wanker Squint Is that. [00:00:20] Speaker B: I don't have Wanker squint yet. [00:00:23] Speaker A: Oh, man, it's common. Let me. [00:00:26] Speaker B: Let me give you. [00:00:27] Speaker A: Anything that has squint in, it is usually a reference to the pee hole. [00:00:33] Speaker B: Oh, is it? [00:00:34] Speaker A: Yeah, in the viz. [00:00:35] Speaker B: Is Wanker Squint in this week's episode of the Viz? [00:00:40] Speaker C: Actually, no quote the viz. I'm looking at it right now. That's why I got the readies out. [00:00:44] Speaker A: Well, you look. Cause I know you're looking for one. I want to know how your trip to Carolina. [00:00:49] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, it was good. It was good. Yeah. Hung out with grandma a whole bunch. [00:00:54] Speaker A: Stayed with her. [00:00:56] Speaker B: Stayed with her in the home. We went out and did things. I took her to a mountain. [00:00:59] Speaker A: What? [00:00:59] Speaker B: I found a mountain. It was an hour drive away. Yeah. She followed me right back home. [00:01:08] Speaker A: So you did take her to a mountain? [00:01:10] Speaker B: I did, I did. [00:01:10] Speaker A: Not to get out and walk, but. [00:01:12] Speaker B: To look at it. She got out and we took a picture at the top of the mountain. Yeah, it was a good time. We watched some Buffalo Bills football on Sunday. Then I was asked that must have. [00:01:25] Speaker C: Been like Buffalo 66 watching it with you. Like elderly. [00:01:29] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, it was. It was just like that movie that I haven't seen. [00:01:33] Speaker A: Yeah, he still hasn't seen it. You gotta see it. [00:01:36] Speaker B: You know, it's funny, I was just listening to the Mike Birbiglia episode last night slash this morning, and we were talking about this very movie. [00:01:44] Speaker A: Yeah, we were. Yeah. We. We tend to repeat a lot of things. [00:01:47] Speaker B: Yes. [00:01:48] Speaker A: Program. [00:01:49] Speaker C: Yeah. I was thinking that as I drove down. Like, how repetitive I am. Like, I think it's age, right? Where you're just like, I need to do the same thing over and over to. To have any bearings. [00:02:03] Speaker A: Yeah, well, yeah, we're repetitive creatures. I have. There's certain things now my wife has listened to, I think most of the episodes. I have another friend. What? Who's listening to all these episodes now. He's bringing up things in the episodes too, to my wife. And my wife is not happy about some of these things. So if any topics come up, I can't even say what the topics are. But if topics come up, I'm gonna have to go silent on them. I'm not allowed to speak about certain things. Yeah, I'll give you the cut. [00:02:34] Speaker C: No More. [00:02:35] Speaker A: You know what they are. And you're bringing them up to get me in hot water with. With the misses. [00:02:41] Speaker C: That's weird. They only just bought back Kimmel after a contentious muff. You know, muffling, whatever you call it. Silencing. And now you're doing it to your own show. [00:02:52] Speaker A: I'm being Kimmel'd. My wife is Kimmeling me on this program. [00:02:56] Speaker C: Let's call the show Kimmels and Bits. [00:02:58] Speaker A: Kimmels and Bits. Somebody should use that. [00:03:05] Speaker B: Maybe one of the two listeners will. [00:03:06] Speaker A: Yeah. All right. Now, wait. So you. You saw grandma and then you. You hopped across the country? [00:03:11] Speaker B: Yeah, I went across the country in la. [00:03:12] Speaker A: How was that? [00:03:13] Speaker B: Stereo Lab? Yeah, that was. I went to go see LCD sound system. [00:03:16] Speaker A: Oh, I thought it was stereo. [00:03:18] Speaker B: And they were opened up for by Pulp, which I had never really heard much of. I knew their. I knew one of their hits, their big Pulp. Yeah, Common People. You know the song Common People, the. [00:03:28] Speaker A: One that sing a little for me. [00:03:30] Speaker B: It's like I want to be like Common people want to do what common people do. I don't know the rest of the words. [00:03:38] Speaker A: Anyway, your tone deferendition doesn't ring any bells. [00:03:41] Speaker C: Working class. Him. Mm. [00:03:44] Speaker A: Huh. [00:03:44] Speaker B: Yeah. So I would say they blew it out of the water. [00:03:48] Speaker C: Why are you gripping that post like. [00:03:50] Speaker A: I'm holding this, Like I'm doing a Scientology reading. You know how they. They measure. You gotta grip that thing and silence. [00:03:57] Speaker B: Do they? [00:03:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know. Like Bob Dole over here. Holding on to the post. [00:04:02] Speaker B: You know, I'd like to. I'd like to go to a Scientologist. [00:04:05] Speaker A: We should do it. [00:04:06] Speaker B: Sermon. [00:04:07] Speaker A: Let's go and. And say we're interested and. [00:04:10] Speaker B: Yeah, check it out. See what it's all about. [00:04:13] Speaker A: You have to grip something. [00:04:14] Speaker B: Give them my information. [00:04:15] Speaker A: Yeah, we have to come up with aliases, fake names. Let's do that. That'd be fun. While you were gone, Mark and I went. We went out for some leisure activities outside the studio. We went to the Cubs game. [00:04:35] Speaker B: Ooh. [00:04:35] Speaker A: Yep. Him and I last. Who were they playing? The Mets. Hey, the upstart Mets who were trying to make the playoffs. Yeah. [00:04:43] Speaker C: Make it in the end. [00:04:44] Speaker A: No. [00:04:45] Speaker C: There you go. [00:04:46] Speaker A: They lost and the Reds backed in. [00:04:48] Speaker C: What was the point of winning that match then? [00:04:51] Speaker A: Well, Pride. Nothing. And I was bemoaning the Cubs at the game, saying how. How much shite they were and. Because they lost that game and they've been losing, but look at them now. [00:05:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:03] Speaker A: Winners. [00:05:03] Speaker B: Are you going to the game? [00:05:04] Speaker A: Today? Oh, yeah. Oh. [00:05:06] Speaker B: Do your season tickets transfer over to the playoffs or do you have to buy new tickets now or do you get a discount? Which scenario? [00:05:14] Speaker A: No, no scenario. Well, they don't transfer, so you. They give you the option to buy them. Right. And if you buy them, you have to buy all the playoff tickets. So I've already paid for the World Series tickets. [00:05:27] Speaker B: So if you buy one, you have to buy all of them. [00:05:30] Speaker A: Buy one what? One. [00:05:31] Speaker B: So you can't just buy one game. You have to buy the whole package for the playoffs. [00:05:35] Speaker A: You got to buy the whole playoff package, which is very pricey. [00:05:40] Speaker B: I'd imag. I mean, it's almost like a whole. [00:05:42] Speaker A: It's like it's the same season. It costs almost as much as the season itself. [00:05:46] Speaker B: And then if they don't make it, you're reimbursed. [00:05:48] Speaker A: Right. [00:05:48] Speaker B: For whatever you're reimbursed. [00:05:51] Speaker A: The money rolls over to next season's season tickets. So you can't even. [00:05:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:56] Speaker A: So you're. That they really committed. [00:05:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:58] Speaker A: Got you. [00:05:59] Speaker B: All right. Wow. Hey, but I mean, are you planning on going back next season and getting. [00:06:03] Speaker A: I am now. [00:06:04] Speaker B: Yeah. Right now. If they didn't make the playoffs, would you, you know, if they hadn't made the playoffs and you had an hook. What do you mean? [00:06:12] Speaker A: They. You have to pay for the postseason tickets regardless before they even make the post. [00:06:17] Speaker B: Even if they don't make the post. [00:06:18] Speaker A: Even if they don't make it. [00:06:19] Speaker B: So it's not like once they make it, you have the option. Do you want these tickets or not? [00:06:23] Speaker A: No, you. [00:06:23] Speaker B: It's all up front, way back in April or whatever it is. [00:06:27] Speaker A: No, they hit you towards the end of the season where there's a likelihood they will make the playoffs. Not a guarantee. So a couple seasons ago they hit us up and they didn't make the playoffs. This time they hit us up and I think they had already clinched or I don't remember, but they were going to make. Was a foreground conclusion. [00:06:49] Speaker B: Let's say that that didn't happen. They weren't going to make the playoffs. They didn't hit you up for tickets for the playoffs, then would you have been getting tickets for next season had. [00:06:59] Speaker A: I given the money for the playoff tickets? [00:07:00] Speaker B: Had that never even happened, had they. [00:07:03] Speaker A: Weren'T going to make the playoffs, if they weren't going to make the playoffs and that was clear, clear cut, then they wouldn't hit you up for the playoff tickets. [00:07:10] Speaker B: And if they don't. If they didn't do that, would you be going next season or not? [00:07:15] Speaker A: I would. But this season's a little different because they're getting the All Star Game the season after next, which is a big deal. Right. And to get you on the hook for that, they made you commit to a three year deal so that you wouldn't bail. And so they. That would guarantee your tickets for the All Star Game. Because they were saying you might not be able to get tickets for the All Star. We don't know what the demand is, so there's no guarantee. But if you sign up for three years, you will guarantee three years. [00:07:46] Speaker B: Now you're having a good time. [00:07:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:47] Speaker B: The Ricketts, man, they know how to. [00:07:49] Speaker C: They know how to rake it in, buying a timeshare. [00:07:52] Speaker A: It is. It really is. It's my vacation home that I don't, you know. [00:07:56] Speaker B: How many games a season do you think you go to? [00:07:59] Speaker A: I know how many I go to. And this season, when I went with Mark, I attended my 51st game. Wow. So I always hit 50 and then I kind of cool off and, you know, let it go from there. But I always have to get 50. That's my thing. Like Rain Man. I gotta get 50 games in. [00:08:16] Speaker B: It's pretty good. [00:08:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:18] Speaker C: It's a commitment. [00:08:19] Speaker A: It's a commitment. [00:08:20] Speaker B: When you're. Do you have a ritual when you're at a game of what you eat or drink? [00:08:25] Speaker A: Oh, so. No. Yes, I do. And that ritual is I don't eat or drink anything. When Mark and I went, we sat there. We didn't give a nickel to the Ricketts. We raw dogged him. We just sat there. No beverage. [00:08:39] Speaker B: I can respect that. Yep. [00:08:41] Speaker A: Although my son was at the game with somebody else and he was in one of those swanky clubs, the W Club. And he. You can get all food and drink peanuts, popcorn, sodas. He stole some of the stuff from there and brought it up to Mark and I. Peanuts and soda and. And we enjoyed that. Cracker Jacks. [00:09:00] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:01] Speaker A: So we didn't really. [00:09:01] Speaker B: It's a good move. That's a really good. Yeah. No, but you, you, you, you ended up in the black then. Like, you. [00:09:07] Speaker A: Yeah. Made money off. [00:09:09] Speaker B: Yeah. You netted. [00:09:10] Speaker A: I netted with the free food. Yeah. [00:09:13] Speaker B: That's pretty good. [00:09:14] Speaker A: Mark and I, we don't drink because if we drink, it gives us depression. [00:09:19] Speaker B: You're. You're a depressed drinker, too. [00:09:21] Speaker A: Yeah. One beer and we're depressed, right? [00:09:23] Speaker C: Yep. [00:09:24] Speaker A: The next day, just full on depression. [00:09:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:09:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:28] Speaker C: Alcohol is a depressant. [00:09:29] Speaker B: Yeah. I'll just be too Tired to do any things I want to do, but I don't get depressed. [00:09:34] Speaker C: Yeah. Again, that makes me depressed. [00:09:36] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what it is. [00:09:37] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because then I will feel like a sack of shit. [00:09:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:42] Speaker B: So I guess it's just later on in the day. [00:09:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Sends me into violent rage as well, you know, I'll go home striking, smashing my family. All right, Viz, man, what do you got for us? [00:09:58] Speaker C: We got some good. I. I was, I was sorry. I really did get engrossed in this. So I got no in clue what you've been talking about for the last 10 minutes, but. All right, let's start off then. So what, hang on, what are the rules? I say it to one of you, you guess, and then the other says. [00:10:14] Speaker A: Whether you're right or not. [00:10:15] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:10:16] Speaker A: Keep us all involved. [00:10:17] Speaker B: I think, I think it should be that. If you say you have to, then give your own answer, you say no, it's not that, it's this. [00:10:23] Speaker A: You want to do that? Okay. [00:10:24] Speaker B: Yeah. Otherwise what's the fun? [00:10:25] Speaker C: All right. Okay. Well, I found a few good ones actually, so let's start this. I don't think you're gonna get this one, but I think it's an interesting one. What is a Celtic reminder? [00:10:39] Speaker B: Celtic reminder or Celtic if you're talking. [00:10:43] Speaker C: About the football team. Celtic if he's talking about the race or Celtic. [00:10:48] Speaker A: We're talking about the basketball team. [00:10:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:50] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:10:51] Speaker B: Nobody calls them the Boston Celtics. [00:10:53] Speaker A: No, A Celtic reminder. Chiefs. I. [00:10:57] Speaker C: Interesting answer. [00:10:59] Speaker A: Who's this going to? Christian. This is yours. Because I don't know what it is. [00:11:02] Speaker B: A Celtic reminder. What is something that you would see. I want to say the whistle on a teapot because I know that my Irish grandma likes to drink a lot of tea and that reminds her that the tea is done. However, knowing that the vulgarity level of. [00:11:26] Speaker A: This magazine, it's got to be vulgar or profane. [00:11:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:11:37] Speaker A: I don't think he's right. I think it has to do with some. The morning after a big night of drinking like Irish lads are known for, there's something in the toilet to remind you of the night before. [00:11:50] Speaker B: My, my. My answer was going to be since it wasn't the teapot thing was going to be a pregnancy scare. Celtic reminder. [00:11:58] Speaker C: There you go. Well, both good answers, but actually this is a non profane one. It's an interesting one and I had a Celtic reminder just the other day. It's when enjoying illegally streamed sports broadcast the discombobulating moment when the advert shows Domino's Pizza prices in euros. And you realize that you're watching an Irish stream and actually had that the other day because in. [00:12:29] Speaker A: In England, it's. It's the pound, right? [00:12:32] Speaker C: Yeah. And I was watching a sports stream, my motorcycle racing, and it comes up and I'm like, what the. Is the euros? And I realized, oh, yeah, I've copped an Irish stream or whatever. I'm. I'm big on illegal sports streams. They're interesting. [00:12:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:49] Speaker C: I have to watch a lot of Polish ones. My missus, I got her a. A stream for the packers the other day because it was on Thursday night and I thought. [00:13:00] Speaker A: An illegal stream. [00:13:01] Speaker C: Yeah, And I thought it was French. It turned out to be obviously Quebec in the end. [00:13:06] Speaker A: It was a Canadian stream. [00:13:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:13:08] Speaker A: What do we. Because it was on Prime, I think. Amazon prime, something like that. [00:13:14] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:13:14] Speaker A: You don't have Amazon Prime. [00:13:17] Speaker C: Jesus. I ain't got Amazon prime money. But anyway, it was. The point was, is I go to one of my many European streaming sites, pull one out of the ether and you. You don't. Until you get to the first set of adverts, you might not be aware that, you know, she watched the packers game in Sweden in Swedish commentary once, because that was the only one I could find. [00:13:42] Speaker A: All right, well, that's a Celtic reminder. [00:13:43] Speaker C: Celtic reminder is a Polish reminder. Yeah, whatever. [00:13:47] Speaker A: Yeah, Canadian reminder. [00:13:49] Speaker C: All right, here's. Here's one that you're. I think you're gonna get. This. What is the. What is this? A euphemism for peeling a post it note? [00:14:03] Speaker A: Ah, okay. That's when a woman, she. To remove the adhesive thing on her tampon is peeling a post it note. Not a tampon. On a pad. On a woman's pad there has a adhesive for a panty liner. That's a post it note, Right? [00:14:25] Speaker C: Incorrect. [00:14:26] Speaker A: You're not. You're supposed to let him say that. [00:14:29] Speaker B: Did my job for me. [00:14:31] Speaker C: I can never get this. The real. The rules. [00:14:34] Speaker B: I already corrected him on the tampon. I wasn't going for correct. Anyway. [00:14:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:38] Speaker B: Can you give me the. The word again? Peel a post it note. [00:14:42] Speaker A: It's a youth spelling bee here. [00:14:44] Speaker C: It's a euphemism and feeling a post it note. Healing a post it. [00:14:48] Speaker B: No, a euphemism. Peeling a post it note. [00:14:55] Speaker A: I don't even know if there are adhesive things on a panty liner, but in my mind there are. [00:15:01] Speaker B: Don't say panty liner. [00:15:03] Speaker A: Yeah, you like the word panty. [00:15:05] Speaker B: No, I don't like the word liner. [00:15:07] Speaker A: It's liner that you're uncomfortable with. [00:15:11] Speaker B: Peel a post it note. Ah, I don't know. To. To discreetly remove a bill from your billfold in order to bribe a doorman? [00:15:29] Speaker A: No. [00:15:29] Speaker C: I thought, I thought you were almost at the first part of your sentence. I thought you were gonna get it. Peeling a post it note is a euphemism for the gentle maneuver of separating the sides of the chicken skin handbag from the top of your thigh for an elderly gentleman, an operation of increasing necessity with advancing age. [00:15:50] Speaker A: What? Put that in. [00:15:52] Speaker B: Can you translate, please? [00:15:53] Speaker C: Chicken skin handbag is your scrotum. [00:15:56] Speaker A: Yes. [00:15:57] Speaker C: Oh, obviously when your scrotum is stuck to your thigh. Yeah. [00:16:01] Speaker A: Just peeling a post it note. [00:16:03] Speaker C: Pull it away gently. [00:16:07] Speaker A: It's for an older man. [00:16:08] Speaker C: An older man. Wow, I'm really beating you today. All right, let me give you an easy one. [00:16:13] Speaker A: If you don't know this. Older men have gigantic scrotum. Big floppy, big scrotum bag. I know this because I see them at the Y. [00:16:26] Speaker B: How often you go to the Y? [00:16:27] Speaker A: Oh, quite often. [00:16:29] Speaker C: Just to look at elderly scrotum? [00:16:30] Speaker A: Yes, I use their dry sauna. I just go in there and dry sauna and then I leave. [00:16:36] Speaker C: Oh, God. [00:16:37] Speaker B: You don't even take your clothes off. You just go in fully. [00:16:39] Speaker A: Sometimes not. [00:16:40] Speaker C: Yeah, I was a member at the Y and on the one on Irving park. And I come home one day kind of fuming and said to my Mrs. I can't believe it. Someone spoke to me in the changing rooms at the goddamn Y that you. [00:16:56] Speaker A: Don'T want to be talked to in that. [00:16:57] Speaker C: Total disregard for etiquette. Total disregard. [00:17:01] Speaker A: Eye contact as well is not allowed. [00:17:02] Speaker C: Yeah. And then the guy down, the guy would not stop talking. [00:17:06] Speaker B: I only make eye contact. [00:17:10] Speaker A: That's uncomfortable. Just the eye contact me now is uncomfortable. [00:17:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:13] Speaker A: Were you in the buck or was the man in the buck when he talked to you? [00:17:18] Speaker C: We were just getting dressed again. [00:17:20] Speaker B: What did he say to you in his skivvies? Did he say. Did he say, are you peeling your post it note? [00:17:26] Speaker C: Would you like help with your post it? No, I can't remember what he said. And then as soon as I spoke, he ran away, saw my accent, he heard my accent and we were off to the goddamn races for a half hour chat. [00:17:38] Speaker A: Oh, you liked your accent. [00:17:41] Speaker C: Just, you know, where you from, mate? Normally it's. I went to England once. Do you know where Cheltenham is? And you know me, I'm a bit of a grouch. [00:17:54] Speaker A: So did you cancel your membership after that? [00:17:56] Speaker C: No. And he really did want to talk every. [00:17:59] Speaker A: And we, you know, see him often. [00:18:01] Speaker C: Yeah. Because I had the same essentially, schedule as he did. [00:18:04] Speaker B: It's. It's all about the patterns. [00:18:06] Speaker C: Yep. [00:18:07] Speaker A: Are you still a member of the Y? [00:18:09] Speaker C: No, I gave it up when I went back to work. [00:18:13] Speaker A: He doesn't have. Why? Money. [00:18:15] Speaker C: Yeah. Why is I. I used to excuse it being like, okay, well, you know, when you come here, you're sort of supporting the halfway house part of the mission and blah, blah, blah. But now I just think it's a little on the expensive side. [00:18:28] Speaker B: It is. I was looking. I was looking at gyms like a year ago, and I know why. [00:18:32] Speaker C: Have you seen what Chicago Park District is? It's like 120 for the year. Every goddamn park building you can go to ever. Anyone, any fucking one. 120. [00:18:42] Speaker A: Many good. They all shite. [00:18:44] Speaker C: No, I think, like, you go to the ones of the bigger ones, like, I mean, Horner park, you'd be in for McFetridge. It's gone. [00:18:51] Speaker A: You can go to McFetrich. [00:18:52] Speaker C: Yes. It's a Chicago Park District building. [00:18:55] Speaker A: Yeah. They got a skating rink in them. [00:18:57] Speaker C: Go. [00:18:58] Speaker A: Really? Tennis courts. [00:18:59] Speaker B: No way. [00:19:00] Speaker A: Tennis courts at Fetridge? Maybe we ought to join there. [00:19:03] Speaker B: God damn. [00:19:04] Speaker C: No. You just joined the whole Chicago Park District. You can go. There's another really good one, like, near Lincoln Square, that massive one if you're going up Lincoln on the left hand side kind of. [00:19:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Wells Park. That's Wells far. [00:19:19] Speaker C: No, no, no, you're thinking there's another one further up, kind of. It would be almost geographically behind the Davis Theater area. That's Wells. [00:19:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:28] Speaker C: Okay. Well, that's massive. [00:19:30] Speaker A: Yeah, it's pretty good. Craig. What. [00:19:32] Speaker B: What does that say? [00:19:33] Speaker A: 30 minutes? [00:19:34] Speaker B: 20. 20. [00:19:36] Speaker C: Now we gotta. Okay, let's just do one. The first one of you gets the best speed round. Right? Speed round. [00:19:42] Speaker B: Get a buzzer. [00:19:44] Speaker C: What is. It's a noun. What is an enchiladas? [00:19:48] Speaker A: Enchiladas. [00:19:50] Speaker C: Ass. [00:19:51] Speaker A: Enchiladas. [00:19:53] Speaker C: Enchiladas. [00:19:55] Speaker A: Enchiladas. [00:19:56] Speaker C: Yeah. In American. [00:20:00] Speaker A: It'S a. It's an overweight man who shits his pants. [00:20:06] Speaker C: No. Well, you. You should. [00:20:08] Speaker A: Overweight. [00:20:09] Speaker C: Should have stopped. [00:20:10] Speaker A: Overweight man of Mexican descent. [00:20:13] Speaker C: Someone who has achieved plumper status through enthusiastic consumption of spicy Mexican chemist. [00:20:20] Speaker B: Yes. [00:20:20] Speaker A: This is not necessarily a Mexican, man. [00:20:23] Speaker B: Just eat too much Taco Bell. [00:20:24] Speaker C: Yeah. All right, so we'll give you that one. So now it's all on. It's all on. It's all on. Christian for this one. Okay. What's another noun? What is A Croatian wind sock. [00:20:37] Speaker B: A Croatian wind sock. Jesus. He got the easy one. [00:20:42] Speaker A: I got enchiladas. [00:20:43] Speaker B: Yeah, that one is slam dunk. [00:20:46] Speaker A: I think I know this one. [00:20:47] Speaker B: Croatian windsock. Okay, so is it. I don't know what the name of the. Is it a babushka is worn in the head. Is it being able to tell which way the wind is blowing by which way a headdress is blowing? Similar to a wind sock. Okay, But Croatian garbage. [00:21:11] Speaker A: Croatian windsock is an uncircumcised Croatian man whose foreskin blows in the wind whilst limp. [00:21:25] Speaker C: Again, you're hovering around the area. The sorry state of a chaps quiver when he has lost his darts. [00:21:32] Speaker A: So when he loses erection, the windsock comes out. [00:21:35] Speaker C: Sorry, I was right. Sorry, love, we'll have to give it a miss tonight. I've got a like a Croatian Windsor. [00:21:41] Speaker B: Why is it Croatian? [00:21:42] Speaker A: Because they're not circumcised fellas. They're uncircumcised fellas. [00:21:46] Speaker C: I think maybe it's a very unwindy part of the world that's on the Mediterranean. You should have. [00:21:51] Speaker A: I don't think it has anything to do with wind. The windsock is the foreskin. Right? I don't know. It's not. Not. [00:22:02] Speaker C: I thought they were good ones today, but you didn't really get anywhere near it. [00:22:05] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. They weren't. They weren't as spicy today. [00:22:09] Speaker C: No, actually, yeah, they weren't. Sort of vulgar and crude in a lot of ways. [00:22:13] Speaker A: Have you been incorporating these terms into your daily speech? Like brown trout, Kaiser. [00:22:19] Speaker B: So say go to the. [00:22:24] Speaker A: Chat. [00:22:25] Speaker C: I do phase new words in, but generally they're not from viz. There might be something I heard on a sitcom. [00:22:34] Speaker A: Have you been using some of Mark's language in your daily life? [00:22:38] Speaker B: It does. It creeps into your vernacular after a while. Like I'll find myself saying bogs or bins or, you know, which I mean, I guess it's not necessarily marks, but it is Mark's. Mark brought it here. [00:22:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:51] Speaker B: You know. [00:22:51] Speaker A: Yeah, I use a lot of it since we've been doing this. [00:22:55] Speaker B: I did use slap head recently. [00:22:57] Speaker A: Yeah, that one I've used too. Bonnie lass I use a lot. [00:23:03] Speaker B: Bonnie Lass is a good one. [00:23:05] Speaker A: I've been calling my. My code a Harrington. Hey, anybody see my Harrington? I love these words. [00:23:15] Speaker B: That's a good one. I didn't know that that was. I've never heard Harrington. [00:23:18] Speaker A: Harrington before. It's a certain kind of coat, right? [00:23:22] Speaker C: Yeah, it's the black. Generally a barracuda. It's. It's generally a sort of shortish coat with a tartan lining. [00:23:29] Speaker A: Tartan lining. Barracuda Steve McQueen. Yeah. Shortage coat. Not to be confused with a Macintosh, which is a raincoat. [00:23:37] Speaker C: Yeah. That's long. [00:23:40] Speaker A: Paddington the bear wore a Macintosh. What was the. [00:23:45] Speaker C: There is a word. It'll come to me. [00:23:47] Speaker A: All right. [00:23:47] Speaker C: I'm really liking it. [00:23:48] Speaker A: Anyway, speaking of British parlance, I had a bit of trouble today figuring out what nationality this fellow was. Randy Felt Face. Well, I figured it out, but at first, I don't know. I have trouble. I was in the same boat separating the British from the Australian. [00:24:10] Speaker B: Yeah. At first I thought, oh, I wonder. [00:24:12] Speaker A: The same to me. [00:24:13] Speaker B: I wonder if this will be right up Mark's alley because he's a British fellow. Until I. Until a few minutes went by and I thought, this is not a British accent. [00:24:19] Speaker C: What? [00:24:20] Speaker A: Yeah, I can't. I can't tell the difference. [00:24:24] Speaker C: I can't. An Australian accent is utterly grating. [00:24:28] Speaker A: Is it? Yeah, it is. It is to me too. Although this guy wasn't as much. But there's a fellow I know who is Australian. Jesus, it's like nails on a chalkboard. [00:24:40] Speaker C: Everything he says, you know what you call that? If you want to get in me, you say it's Bogan. Totally bargan, mate. Bogan is what Aussies call like working class, low class people. If you. If you behave in a. In a way that is. You know what I would call a scuttery way in England? They call it tidally Bogan. [00:25:06] Speaker A: Totally Bogan. [00:25:07] Speaker B: Sounds like the. The guy that Randy Felt Face was talking about in the act at one point that, like the guy that liked bacon that approached him after the show sounded like somebody that was maybe Bogan. [00:25:17] Speaker A: Yeah, he was Bogan. [00:25:18] Speaker C: I think it's more of a city term than like he's. Because he was talking about someone up in Queensland, which is kind of like shit Kickerville. But I think they call, you know, inner city, lower class people bogan. And that accent. My. Got it. Because there's a. There's a show on Netflix right now called Fisk, which is really. It's my favorite comic. [00:25:45] Speaker A: You can afford Netflix? [00:25:47] Speaker C: I can afford Netflix. Fisk is an Australian comedy about a lady who is a lawyer. And it's probably best comedy I've seen in the last year or two. [00:25:58] Speaker A: It's Australian. [00:25:59] Speaker C: Yeah. But it's very understated. [00:26:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. Who's in it? Phoebe Waller's Bridges. [00:26:08] Speaker C: It's Australian. I can't remember the name of the lady who wrote Paul Hogan stars In it. If only Hoags was in it. [00:26:16] Speaker A: Go. Quick, quick. Famous Australians. Paul Hogan. Go. [00:26:19] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:26:22] Speaker A: Go. [00:26:23] Speaker C: Nicole Kidman. [00:26:24] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, Keith Urban. He's not Australian. No. [00:26:30] Speaker B: Isn't he a country singer? [00:26:31] Speaker A: Yeah, he's married. They got divorced. My wife told me they got divorced today and they had a very cut and dry divorce. Everything's been separated in advance. No contention at all. [00:26:42] Speaker B: Oh, thank God. [00:26:43] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. [00:26:43] Speaker A: He only gets 60 hours a week or something like that. That doesn't make sense. 60 days a year with the daughters. Go. Famous Australians. I can only think of Paul Hogan. He's the only one I know. [00:26:57] Speaker B: I haven't. [00:26:58] Speaker A: Nicole Kidman. [00:26:58] Speaker B: Sure looked any up since you asked. [00:26:59] Speaker A: Mel Gibson. Go. [00:27:01] Speaker B: Mel Gibson's Australian. [00:27:02] Speaker A: Is he? Yeah, yeah, Mel Gibson. [00:27:05] Speaker B: I know who that is. [00:27:06] Speaker C: Actually, no. So he has. In interviews, he'll say, well, I was born in Australia, but technically I'm American somehow. Truth. [00:27:14] Speaker B: Oh, the Crocodile Hunter. [00:27:16] Speaker A: Oh, Steve Irwin. [00:27:18] Speaker B: No. [00:27:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:19] Speaker C: Yes. [00:27:19] Speaker A: Oh, Crocodile Dundee. [00:27:21] Speaker B: Already said Dundee. That's what I'm talking about. [00:27:22] Speaker A: That's Paul Hogan. [00:27:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:27:23] Speaker B: Oh, look at that. [00:27:24] Speaker A: Dead or alive. Paul Hogan. [00:27:26] Speaker C: Go on. A Dame Edna or Everidge. [00:27:28] Speaker A: Dame Edna's not. He's dead. Dame Edna from. From England. Dame Edna. [00:27:34] Speaker C: Dame Edna's Australian. You mop it. [00:27:39] Speaker A: Can't think of any other Australians. [00:27:41] Speaker C: I mean, I can think of loads of motorcycle racing Australians. I can think of Captain Kim. Did you ever watch Kath and Kim? That's good. [00:27:51] Speaker A: Who. [00:27:52] Speaker C: It was a sitcom and then they. They. [00:27:54] Speaker A: Kath and Kim. [00:27:55] Speaker C: Inevitably, there was the shitty American knockoff with Molly Shannon. I want to say was one of them, but it totally tanked. [00:28:03] Speaker A: Eddie the Eagle. The guy, the. The ski jumper. [00:28:05] Speaker C: British. [00:28:06] Speaker A: Oh, he's British. See, they're very similar. What is the history of Australia? I know. It's a penal colony, right? What is that funny? It's a penal colony. [00:28:17] Speaker B: You said it. [00:28:17] Speaker C: Yeah, it's. Yeah. [00:28:20] Speaker A: Where the British used to send their prisoners there. Yes, Far away to send prisoners. [00:28:25] Speaker C: One of my favorite jokes. Englishman's going to Australia. The guy and thing says, hey, mate, have you got a criminal record? And the British guy says, no, do I still need one to come in? Because they've. Obviously the posh Australians hate being reminded that they're all descended from criminals. [00:28:44] Speaker A: The posh boxer Australians or just the posh. [00:28:47] Speaker C: Just the posh ones. [00:28:48] Speaker A: Yeah. They don't like that. [00:28:50] Speaker C: Do not like it. But I could have been Australian. Ultimately, my dad would tell you to his dying breath how he had desperately wanted to emigrate to Australia. In the 60s and my mum put the kibosh on it shortly before. [00:29:07] Speaker A: Why? Why did he want to go there? [00:29:10] Speaker C: You know, land of opportunity and stuff. I mean, England in The, you know, early 70s, late 60s was a very grim place. And Australia literally paid you to emigrate there. So you had the right trade. [00:29:23] Speaker A: I would imagine the British are very welcome there, or. [00:29:26] Speaker C: No, they're over it now. Now it's like we hate you. [00:29:31] Speaker A: So they hate the British. Right. Because it was penal colony. What about the Americans? Are they well liked over there? [00:29:36] Speaker C: I think they sort of are. Just because America is desperately. Australia is desperately trying to be America. Like when you go there, you just think, like. Funny enough, I. My mate who's from Adelaide visited me in California in. When I had a place in Hermosa beach. And we're walking down, you know, like the beach community. And he just goes, me, this is exactly, exactly like Australia. And I was like, yeah, it is. [00:30:08] Speaker A: Oh, you ever been to Australia? [00:30:10] Speaker B: No, I have not. [00:30:12] Speaker A: You ever been? You've been? [00:30:14] Speaker C: Yeah, extensively, but. [00:30:17] Speaker A: Extensively. [00:30:18] Speaker C: But the. The place you should go f Australia. It's just a big desert full of Australians. New Zealand is the best place. [00:30:27] Speaker A: I've heard that. [00:30:28] Speaker C: New Zealand. If you can raise the scratch. New freakin Zealand name. [00:30:33] Speaker B: Some famous New Zealanders go. [00:30:35] Speaker C: Just named one earlier. [00:30:36] Speaker A: I did. [00:30:38] Speaker C: When we were looking at that video. [00:30:40] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, the flight of the concourse. [00:30:42] Speaker B: That's it. That's it. [00:30:44] Speaker C: And you're exhausted and. [00:30:47] Speaker A: Hold on. And the tattooed guy from Moby Dick. Queequeg. Queequeg. [00:30:56] Speaker B: Is he famous? [00:30:57] Speaker A: You familiar with the book Moby Dick? [00:30:59] Speaker B: I've heard of the book, yeah. [00:31:01] Speaker A: Yeah, he's the. He's the Aborigine fella. Oh, right, He's Aborigine. [00:31:07] Speaker B: Fictional. [00:31:08] Speaker A: Yes. But still, I can't think of any other New Zealanders. [00:31:12] Speaker C: And boy, do New Zealanders hate being called Australian. Yeah, I can rub them up the wrong way. [00:31:18] Speaker A: Well, what's it. All right, well, we can go in the history of New Zealand. I'm very interested in that. [00:31:22] Speaker B: Yeah. Because didn't. Isn't New Zealand. Didn't Australia do the same thing to New Zealand that the British did to Australia? [00:31:30] Speaker C: No, New Zealand is majoritatively Scottish descent, farmers. Etc. [00:31:37] Speaker A: They emigrated there for some reason. That's far. Right. [00:31:40] Speaker C: It's extremely far as you can get from Scotland. [00:31:43] Speaker A: Right. I don't understand connection. [00:31:47] Speaker C: New Zealand's got an interesting history of like there wasn't even people there until then. Not that long ago. Polynesians were the first Polynesians Yeah. Because of boats and then Europeans. Maybe a couple of hundred years after. Jesus Christ, we're never gonna get. [00:32:03] Speaker A: All right, well, this would probably be our first and last, I would think, Australian comic. Unless we can think of another. Can you think of another Australian comic? [00:32:14] Speaker C: It's like Jim Jeffries, right? [00:32:16] Speaker A: Never ever. [00:32:16] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, that's one that I know. [00:32:20] Speaker C: There was a guy who did the lodge and just was a complete. Fisk is also a comedian. When she's not. Right. She's Australian, writing the best. [00:32:32] Speaker A: Heath Ledger also comes to mind as Australian. Yes, Correct. Okay. [00:32:36] Speaker C: All the Hemsworths. [00:32:37] Speaker A: Oh, the Helmsworths. There, there. [00:32:40] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:40] Speaker C: All the. All 17 Hemsworth brothers are Australian. [00:32:48] Speaker A: Let's. Let's refrain. Let's make an agreement to refrain from any Australian parlance during this. He didn't say any of that shrimp on the barbie shit or, you know. [00:32:57] Speaker C: Well, I got some notes. [00:33:00] Speaker A: Okay. All right, so I. When I just glanced at this the other night and the puppet and Randy writes a novel, I was like, this fucking guy's. He's got to be taken out. He can't be choosing these anymore. I want him to be like, I don't know what he's doing here. This is not. This is too far afield from what we do. [00:33:20] Speaker C: It's coming recommended from him. [00:33:23] Speaker B: It was recommended to me? Yes. [00:33:25] Speaker A: It was recommended to you. [00:33:26] Speaker B: Yes. [00:33:26] Speaker A: And I was like, I don't even have time for this bullshit. This is too much. So I begrudgingly sat down to do this today, and, man, did I love this thing. [00:33:39] Speaker C: Oh, that was cheap. What a cheesy. [00:33:41] Speaker A: I knew it. But I saw that coming to Milo. It's not cheesy. That's how I really felt. And. And I love. [00:33:47] Speaker C: No, no. The way you just set that up. [00:33:49] Speaker A: The reveal, it was too obvious. [00:33:51] Speaker C: Yeah. Hell, and I'm looking in your eyes. [00:33:55] Speaker B: I was along for the ride. [00:33:57] Speaker A: I didn't know how far to go, but I didn't think I could possibly like it. Just looking at the puppet. Right? [00:34:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:34:05] Speaker A: Even in the first couple of minutes, I was like, I'm not gonna be able to do this. And, man, did I really get sucked in. [00:34:12] Speaker B: Yeah. The same thing happened to me. I thought I started out. I'm like, I can't. I can't take this seriously. I can't. I can't look at this puppet and trick myself into thinking I'm looking at a. You know, a human being. [00:34:25] Speaker A: No. [00:34:26] Speaker B: Or an entertainer, you know? [00:34:28] Speaker C: Did you find yourself trying to figure out why. Why the puppet? [00:34:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:34:32] Speaker C: Why is this Necessary? [00:34:33] Speaker A: Yeah, why not? Why does the guy just come out and do his ass? [00:34:35] Speaker B: Well, I went and started looking things up during it, so I never got to the point of wondering why, because I already had looked up his beginning and the evolution of how that came to be. [00:34:46] Speaker A: All right, so let's tell the people at home, because there's a lot of people listening. [00:34:50] Speaker B: The suspense must be killing them. [00:34:52] Speaker A: The name of this program is called Randy Writes a Novel. And the comedian, I guess we should say, is Randy Felt fit, which obviously cannot be his real name. It's a felt puppet that comes out on stage and props himself behind a desk with a typewriter and does his act for the hour and 11 minutes whilst feigning to get to reading, doing a read aloud of his novel that he never reads. Tell us about this performer, whoever this is behind the puppet. What is this story? [00:35:28] Speaker B: His name is Heath McIver. Hope I'm pronouncing that correctly. [00:35:33] Speaker A: Age? [00:35:36] Speaker B: I don't know. He started in like 2005. [00:35:40] Speaker A: So, I mean, what year was this special? [00:35:42] Speaker B: 2016. And he's still doing it now in America. The Puppet's age is 38. The puppet's age is said to be 38. And I don't know if that changes over time. The guy himself, I think is probably in his 30s. [00:36:00] Speaker A: How can the public be older than the guy? [00:36:02] Speaker B: Well, 38 is also in 30s. [00:36:05] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:07] Speaker B: So I think he started doing it when he was a teenager. If I remember correctly, he was just kind of. His big break then was he did it for a corporate. An anti corporate bullying video. He had the puppet. He had mastered the puppeteering part of his act by then. And so he had like a short thing and a little like, you know, video that I'm assuming some corporation was like, hey, we need you to do this video. So. And so that went well. And then he started doing stand up with the puppet after that in the early 2010s. And then. Yeah, the special we saw, was it 2016? Was that when the one that we just watched came out, am I thinking. Yeah. [00:36:46] Speaker A: Okay, so wait a minute. So this. This guy, he. He works the puppet. He does the puppeteering while he's doing the act. That seems very difficult. [00:36:57] Speaker B: Yeah, you could see him in a couple shots. Did he notice him behind the desk? You could see his hands come up a couple times. [00:37:02] Speaker A: Oh, so he's underneath. [00:37:03] Speaker B: Yeah. And one underneath it. [00:37:04] Speaker A: I thought it was. [00:37:05] Speaker B: No, he's under it. And at one shot, you could see the side of his head in his ear, and he's holding it. As a matter of fact, I've seen from one of the people that recommended this to me, it's actually a woman that I guess casually dated him for a little while or was at least hooking up with him for a little while. She was backstage at one of his shows and she showed me what it looks like from backstage. He's just crouched back there holding the puppet up. He was under the desk the whole time, he said. [00:37:32] Speaker C: He kind of telegraphs that because he says, I'm gonna go from this side right to this side and if I go any further, it'll ruin the magic. [00:37:40] Speaker A: Well, yeah, I heard that, but I thought it was just to obscure the puppets legs. Right. So you can see that, but then. [00:37:45] Speaker B: You can see this. [00:37:46] Speaker A: That's real Sesame street type because that's how they do the puppets on Sesame Street. [00:37:49] Speaker C: It's set in wiki. He started puppeteering when he was 13. And the puppetry bit of it is really, really good. Really good, really richly done. [00:37:59] Speaker B: I couldn't believe how many expressions he could get out of the puppet's face, which didn't move that much. [00:38:05] Speaker A: Right. And the expressions match what's being said. Right, Right. So was he not improvising? But is he just reading script while he does this, or is he just thinking and doing that would seem very. [00:38:19] Speaker B: I would assume he's got it memorized. [00:38:21] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:38:22] Speaker C: It's deep shit. That's memorized. [00:38:26] Speaker A: Fuck, though. I mean, that's a. I mean, he's rapid fire. That's. That's incredible. I can't even rub my stomach and tap my head, let alone speak, so. Impressive. Super impressive. And there's nothing like this out there or has there been ever? No, of course we've seen Ventroques. [00:38:46] Speaker B: Right. Or like the Jeff Dunham sort of. Yeah, bullshit. But no, nothing. Nothing to this level of intelligence and just how well done it was. [00:38:56] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Who was the last fellow we. We watched? Bo Burnham. Right. It had. It wasn't similar, but there was a depth to it that the Burnham act had that I thought was impressive. Very, very well written, very smart, very deep. [00:39:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:18] Speaker A: And very funny. [00:39:22] Speaker C: I started thinking if this. If someone else did this act, I might like it. But the accent and the screaming is really just. I'm hating it. [00:39:33] Speaker A: So what do you mean? If someone else had done this act, someone with a different accent, this material. [00:39:38] Speaker C: Had been done in a different manner, I would have probably really, really liked it. [00:39:43] Speaker A: But this is your inherent bias against Australia. [00:39:47] Speaker C: No, it's just the accent is annoying. In the shouting. Like, he'll do a really good bit and then he'll just suddenly scream like a fucking legend. And that really just robbed me. [00:39:59] Speaker A: Yeah, Yeah. I didn't like all that. It was a lot of scream. That's one of the first things I wrote down was like, this guy gonna shout at us for an hour. [00:40:05] Speaker C: I didn't really see the point of the shout each. [00:40:07] Speaker A: Right. He could have just delivered all the material without shouting and have been probably better. [00:40:12] Speaker C: Yeah. He could have said like a fucking legend without screaming it. [00:40:16] Speaker A: Yeah. But you're very selective in terms of who you like to scream and who you don't like to scream. Right. You love Eddie Pepitone. That's all he does is scream. But you don't like this guy because of his accent. And now you know how we feel having to listen to your accent all the time. Right. And how grating that is. You're getting a taste of it through the Australian accent. [00:40:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:39] Speaker A: Is it this particular Australian accent or is it all Australian accents that you determine? [00:40:44] Speaker C: Like I say, an understated Aussie accent is fine. [00:40:48] Speaker A: Like who? [00:40:50] Speaker C: I mean, it's just people. And I know a lot of Australians, and some of them. [00:40:55] Speaker A: Paul Hogan. [00:40:56] Speaker C: Yeah, I know him. Some of them are like nails on a goddamn chalkboard. And some are just fine. [00:41:02] Speaker A: Yeah. This one didn't bother me. Right. Versus the person I know in real life who. Who grades on me. I didn't even know it was Australian until I picked up some of the, you know, towns. He was talking. I was like, that doesn't sound English. Right? [00:41:15] Speaker C: Yeah. He mentions places in Sydney a lot. [00:41:18] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. So you don't, like. You didn't like the accent or the shouting? [00:41:26] Speaker C: I love the material, but. [00:41:28] Speaker A: You love the material. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I've had that. We've had that. Right, where. Where it's the person's voice or their face or whatever that just detracts from the end. [00:41:37] Speaker C: And even the puppet bit, I thought was so well done that it was like bringing something to it. It was just literally the voice. [00:41:45] Speaker A: Yeah. Has this fellow ever. In your research, Christian, is this fellow ever done an act straight up without the puppet? [00:41:51] Speaker B: No, but the puppet has done an act with another performer named Sammy J, who's another Australian performer that does a musical act alongside with the puppet. That's how they. The puppet wasn't around for too long before teaming up with Sammy J. And then they had. They found success together as a duo. I think Sammy Jay played more the straight man, and Randy was, you know, the funny guy. And so they were kind of a pairing that found success for a while. They did a bunch of festivals around Australia, and then I don't know where Sammy Jay went off to. But then, I mean, I think obviously then Randy felt face, found his own solo success and started touring. [00:42:37] Speaker C: Do you remember Puppetry of the Penis? That was an Australian thing. [00:42:41] Speaker A: I remember the name of the show. It was like Vagina Monologue era. Ish, Right? [00:42:46] Speaker C: Yeah. It was just that Poetry of the Penis was two blokes getting their dicks out on stage and making it into different shapes and stuff. [00:42:56] Speaker A: I never saw it, but I remember hearing about it. [00:42:58] Speaker C: It was big, Right. It was like in Vegas and stuff. They were Australian. Maybe it's an Aussie thing with puppets. [00:43:05] Speaker A: Yeah. All right, let's get into some of the material because I will say this. You know, I've made many declarations on this program, but I never laughed harder than for a few jokes during the set where I was gut laughing by myself. Really gut laughing. Oh, and looking back on the jokes, I don't necessarily know why they were so funny, but fuck, did I laugh hard. [00:43:31] Speaker B: Maybe it was the accent. [00:43:32] Speaker A: I don't think so. No, I don't think so. The first one that had me gut laughing was the Hoarders joke where he talked about how people watch hoarders, right? How it's, you know, how wrong that is. [00:43:45] Speaker C: That was stolen from me. I've been saying that. [00:43:47] Speaker A: You've been doing that bit. [00:43:48] Speaker C: I've been saying that about hoarders for ages. [00:43:51] Speaker A: God, that was a funny bit. [00:43:52] Speaker B: What was the bit? [00:43:53] Speaker A: The bit was, you know how. You know how wrong we are to watch that kind of thing, to watch these people with, you know, all this, like, that's more wrong than the people themselves who, you know, have all the shit. And he says, like, they've got too many of the same thing, you know, I don't know why, but I was dying. Dying at that one. And then I like the joke about calling places by honest names, like Stabbyville or Broken Hill. [00:44:23] Speaker B: Yeah. It was making me think of when I was just in North Carolina, my cousin, I was staying at her house. She lives in a. A place called Whispering Hills. There's not a hill. Yeah, the fake name and. And. And they're not whispering if they are there. [00:44:37] Speaker A: Yeah, the fake names. We give subdivisions and things like that. I thought the Hemingway bit was. I didn't know all that stuff about him. Right. [00:44:45] Speaker B: That was. Yeah. I had no idea that Hemingway lives such a crazy life. [00:44:49] Speaker A: Right. [00:44:50] Speaker C: I'VE been to the Hemingway house in Oak Park? No, no, the one in Key West. [00:44:55] Speaker B: Did they tell you all that? [00:44:57] Speaker C: They told you a lot of it. Yeah. [00:44:59] Speaker B: Did they have the stuff about the German U boats and him shooting at. [00:45:02] Speaker A: Them with hand grenades and shit? [00:45:05] Speaker C: See, I think some of that, I'm. [00:45:06] Speaker A: Not sure, should be embellished. [00:45:07] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, he said he's not making it up. [00:45:11] Speaker A: Yeah, he said. All true. [00:45:13] Speaker B: Yeah, he said this is true. [00:45:15] Speaker A: What were some that you liked? You said you liked the writing. [00:45:18] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:45:18] Speaker A: So what were some of the jokes that you liked? [00:45:20] Speaker C: Well, I like the general thing of flitting between banal and then deep. I just like that attitude of it. Why don't I put in here the yoga instructor thing, mma? I wrote down. Oh, yeah, he did. Just all of a sudden he just broke after a long philosophical bit and he's all got some jokes. How do you know if a hippie has been to your house? They're still there, like. And then he made one about how do you know if someone's vegan? They'll. They'll tell you, like. Yeah, so you know, because. And then there was a funny bit. He talked about how some woman whose son's name was Brayden, first of all, not my friend, one of my longest friends, she married an Aussie and they live in Australia now and her son's called Braden. So I was like, gotta send her that, send her that link. And then he did the. He did the thing about veganism and pigging, killing pigs, they really rocked you. Rock you back on your heels kind of thing. Right? [00:46:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:46:23] Speaker C: And then the whole thing ended in the made up bookshelf story, which is kind of. I liked how he hooked you into it and you following along and you thinking, yeah, well this is real. And then he just goes. And I just made all that up. [00:46:38] Speaker A: Yeah, that was good. [00:46:39] Speaker B: I liked, I liked his point on that at the end when, when he was talking about what a letdown it is to be told that the story that you just heard was not true. How unsatisfying that is. Yet you can be satisfied at the end of reading a fiction novel. [00:46:54] Speaker A: Same thing, right? Yeah, but double standard on that. Yeah, yeah. [00:46:58] Speaker C: But when you, when you open a fiction novel, you know, this is made. [00:47:01] Speaker B: I think that's the point. [00:47:02] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:47:05] Speaker A: But I think it's also commentary on all stand up. Most of the stand ups tell the stories. They're all, they're all made up. [00:47:11] Speaker C: They make seem like Even, even now, 30, whatever, how many years I am into this. Shit. My missus will come to a show and on the, in the car on the way back she'll go, oh, I didn't know so and so did this or whatever. And I'll be like, it's made up, it's made up. And she even. Every time my old lady sees a stand up act, she just buys it. [00:47:35] Speaker B: A lot of things happen to these people on the way to the club tonight, you know, a lot of things here. [00:47:40] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Wow. [00:47:42] Speaker B: What a day. [00:47:43] Speaker A: What a day this guy's had, you. [00:47:44] Speaker C: Know, you know that, you know the girlfriend he just broke up with. Yeah. That was four girlfriends ago. And my old lady's always like, I, I didn't know they weren't from California. [00:47:58] Speaker A: She suspends disbelief. [00:48:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:00] Speaker A: For every act. Yeah. I thought that that last story was great. I also laughed very hard out loud at the McDonald's home delivery joke. [00:48:14] Speaker B: Yeah, that is. So that was another good example of the, the puppetry that he was doing too. Dragging himself to the car across the desk like that. [00:48:21] Speaker A: Open the door, you could see it. Yeah. [00:48:25] Speaker C: That reminded me of a British comedian. Jack D. Has something similar where he is, you know, eating a meal. Used to be a great social event, you know, and people would come together and share stories of the day. And he goes like, it's actually an anti American biggest. I like how Americans have reduced it to driving up to a fiberglass clown's head and just going, burger, burger. And then the burger shoots out of a window at you and you drive, you drive to the corner of a car park like a trot, like and just eat it. [00:49:03] Speaker A: Eat it in the car. Yeah, yeah. It's great. Yeah. [00:49:09] Speaker B: It's the only way to live. [00:49:13] Speaker A: So I mean this. Am I wrong to liken him to Burnham or. Who was the other weird dude that we watched a couple, couple comedians ago. He read the books on stage. [00:49:31] Speaker B: Gallagher. [00:49:31] Speaker A: No fucking Gallagher. [00:49:34] Speaker C: Burnham read books. [00:49:35] Speaker A: Burnham did, but it was another Joe Pera. Joe Perra. [00:49:38] Speaker B: Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, there's. There is a thread there. Yeah. Especially with the. I was ready. I had written down too, just little things of. With the randy felt facing. He starts out and he does like just a little throwaway bit about the lamp being turned on by the. By the light guy who he names. Yeah. And the lamp doesn't stay on the whole time and the lights kind of change during the Hemingway thing. And they never did a broad pull away shot. But there was an image that was on the wall behind him and I am assuming it was of Hemingway. [00:50:09] Speaker A: Oh, was it? [00:50:09] Speaker B: Yeah. And so little things like that. And with Joe Pera, they had, you know, the, the musical act came out at the end and it was like, it was lit in a similar way where like it was just kind of like this soft lighting focus on the middle of the stage. Bo Burnham was all over the place, of course, stage production. But yeah, I do see that common thread. [00:50:26] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. And. And I guess I'm. I'm warming to this deconstructed type of stand up, you know, where at first, you know, as an unfrozen caveman comic, I only want 1980s, you know, stand and deliver, pushed up sleeves type of Seinfeld comedy. But yeah, this was. But in all three of those cases, Para Burnham and him, it's not really stand up. Right. I mean, there's jokes in here. You can't really call this stand up. [00:50:57] Speaker B: It's an actual. But it's an act. But not quite. Yeah. [00:51:00] Speaker A: Or even Birbigli is also similar to this with the storytelling. It's, it's long form storytelling that has its, you know, funny moments, but it's not really stand up and it's, it's much deeper. Right. It's much, you know, it's trying to connect on a different kind of human level that alike. But, you know, bring back dice. Bring back. Right. The guys that are, well, telling jokes. [00:51:26] Speaker B: Though, there's some balance to that. I mean, you can still have your dice. There's like those guys are still out there. You can still watch those, you know, and then break it up a little. [00:51:32] Speaker A: Are they out there? [00:51:34] Speaker B: Oh, for sure. They're still there still. Yeah. Just stand there, tell jokes. You can break it up a little bit with something like this. [00:51:40] Speaker A: Glazer is like that. She's old school. [00:51:42] Speaker B: Right, Right. [00:51:43] Speaker A: She's an old school comedian. [00:51:44] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. White Glazer. [00:51:47] Speaker A: Nikki Glazer. [00:51:47] Speaker C: Oh, Nikki Glazer. [00:51:49] Speaker A: That was last episode. [00:51:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:50] Speaker A: Remember that? Talked about. [00:51:52] Speaker C: I was thinking of Alana Glazer, who is one of the broad city things when you said it. [00:52:00] Speaker A: Yeah, I guess there's. I mean, if there's anything good about today's comedy. I think there's a lot good. It's the diversity and the variety that's out there. I mean, you can see it here. Right. If anything, you probably see less traditional. [00:52:17] Speaker C: I'm weirded out that you're saying this though, because in the scene that you and I met, there was the. Mike Olson's the Oconnells running around. [00:52:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:28] Speaker C: Doing this. [00:52:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:30] Speaker C: Adam Crous's signature Bob Wright Play that we've discussed. [00:52:34] Speaker A: Yeah. One man play. Yeah, yeah. No. What are you saying? That you're surprised that I like alternative comedy? [00:52:43] Speaker C: No, I'm surprised that you're saying it's a newish thing. [00:52:46] Speaker A: Oh, it's not. You're saying what's newish to me is not the. The alternative delivery of it. Right. That's always. It's been around for a long time. It's the pathos. Is that the right word? That keeps coming up in my head, but I'm afraid to say it because I don't know exactly what it means. The pathos, the humanity of these acts, like, the vulnerability of these acts of guys to, like, really bear their true feelings. Like this guy talking about veganism, which I connected with because I'm somewhat vegan. Vegetarian. Yeah. Yeah. You didn't know that about me. [00:53:24] Speaker C: You knew that I didn't know that because you have a hot dog eating contest. [00:53:27] Speaker A: I don't eat them, though. [00:53:29] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, I guess. I guess you don't. [00:53:31] Speaker A: But like to bear your true feelings the way comedians are doing, like Olson o'. Connell. We weren't bearing any of our real feelings. It was all just fucking absurdity, right? [00:53:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:53:45] Speaker A: But today's comedians seem to really be, like, putting it out there on a table. Their true feelings about things intermingled with jokes and things like that. But if you're reading between the lines, or maybe these are the lines. Right. They're baring themselves and their feelings. Like Burnham. That was hard for me to watch because there was so much earnestness in that dripping sarcasm. Right. Yeah, same with this guy, too. Like, talking about, you know, these are existential questions or these are existential things that these guys are talking about, like birth and death and, you know, everything in between. And the whole thing is really about, what does he say? [00:54:31] Speaker C: Oh, the path. [00:54:32] Speaker A: Yeah. To be a good person or to be the tortured artist and uses Hemingway as an example. Or just, you know, do I. Why do I have to put what I do or my act or my art out there? Can I just have it to myself? Why do I have to, you know, drag it out here for people to see? Right? Like that. That's. That's the existential question of every artist, of every comedian. Right. Like, this is deep shit. Right? [00:54:56] Speaker B: Yeah. Especially with the ending, the way that he ended it. It's funny because I was. I was watching the time tick closer to an hour and 11 minutes, and he was finishing up that big. That. That long story about. Oh, what was his name that he bought the bookshelf from that. It's the story that he ended up revealing was not true. [00:55:15] Speaker A: And. [00:55:16] Speaker B: And he really. I mean, he had him right then, you know, and there's only a couple minutes left, and I'm thinking, like, you gotta end it here. You know, I'm thinking, oh, maybe. Maybe the credits are the next five minutes, you know, and then he says, well, I can't end it like that. And I'm thinking, like, you better pull something out of your hat now, buddy. Cause that was it, you know, like, that was. That was the time to walk off stage. And then he comes out with this. I mean, obviously well crafted speech or just crafted speech, you know, about. About walking through the tall grass of life and. And weaving and then. And pulling away and seeing that it's the same path that every other human has walked and will walk and. And. And ending it the way he did. I thought, yeah, okay, there. There it is. [00:55:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:55:58] Speaker C: Did your friend that semi dated him mention any goss on what he was actually like? [00:56:04] Speaker B: He sounds just like a. I think they met at a bus stop and he just kind of. He sounded like. She describes him as being kind of like a. Just a nerdy, nice guy, you know, so. Yeah. [00:56:15] Speaker A: Were you able to see any images of the guy? [00:56:18] Speaker B: Only the one that she showed me from backstage. And he's crouched behind in a podium or whatever he is, and he's wearing shorts and he's got. His legs are jacked. [00:56:27] Speaker A: Really? [00:56:28] Speaker B: Yeah, because he's crouching all the time, doing this thing and using all those leg muscles and his legs. I mean, he looks like an NFL wide receiver. [00:56:37] Speaker A: Why would it get. Why would an artist do this? Right? Like, it's almost Cyrano de Bergeri. Like, is he hiding himself because he's insecure? [00:56:44] Speaker C: Maybe. His wiki said he started doing puppeteering when he was 13, so maybe it's just an extension. Like, well, I'll just keep doing what I'm good at. [00:56:53] Speaker A: For me, anyone that did a puppet, it was like a distraction because their act was right. Like, I'll do it through a puppet, you know, because my act isn't very good. That, you know, kind of enhances the product a little bit. [00:57:04] Speaker C: Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes someone I know said. When I came home and found my husband playing with a puppet version of himself, I knew the marriage was over. I fucking love it. She told me that. [00:57:20] Speaker A: True story. [00:57:21] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. [00:57:25] Speaker A: No, but why? What? Why. Why doesn't he just do his act? [00:57:30] Speaker B: It would. I think it's legitimately that he Was just. He early on realized that he was good. He was a good puppeteer. And then also he had written a good act. He's just good at two things. Why not do them both? [00:57:42] Speaker A: Would the act be as good if he took the puppet away? [00:57:44] Speaker B: I don't think so. [00:57:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:57:46] Speaker A: Does the puppet make the act? [00:57:48] Speaker B: I don't think the puppet makes the act either. [00:57:50] Speaker C: I think either way. You could do it either way. [00:57:53] Speaker B: Yeah, but it wouldn't be as visually stunning. I wouldn't be. I wouldn't be watching. So. [00:57:59] Speaker A: So. [00:58:01] Speaker B: It wouldn't grab me as much if it was just a human, you know? [00:58:04] Speaker A: Yeah, you. [00:58:04] Speaker B: You could. You could. You could leave. Here's the thing. A couple times I left the room and came back in. When I left the room, it really took all the. The oomph out of it, you know, if you're not watching. If you're not just kind of like. Like a crow watching a shiny object, you know, just like watching this puppet move around. [00:58:19] Speaker C: Yeah, that's where I struggle because, you know, I don't normally watch them. I just have a spreadsheet open. I will occasionally switch spreadsheet up. Oh, because you're doing so whatever. Bullshit. And I'll switch. And this one, I was like, God damn, I'm gonna have to watch the whole thing now. [00:58:36] Speaker A: Well, how do you. When you take notes, you just, at the end write down some notes, or do you all the while? [00:58:41] Speaker C: I take them as I go. But my notes are generally just what the act is, because then I can just. If I know what bit they were doing, I can go back to, this is what I thought of it. I don't have to write down what I thought. I just need to know what the bit was. [00:59:00] Speaker A: Well, consult those notes and tell me what you think in the end. What's your. What's the final, final verdict? I think I've showed all my cards. This was phenomenal. Fantastic. I connected with this on many levels. [00:59:13] Speaker C: Do it properly. [00:59:14] Speaker A: Yes, I will. And it touched me on a number of levels. It was brilliant. And I. Of all the shit we've been watching this, I laughed harder. Not necessarily throughout, but the couple laughs were harder than any other laughs I've had watching comedy. Fucking special. It is special, isn't it? [00:59:40] Speaker C: Special? [00:59:41] Speaker A: It is special. Good. Is that perfect? I still don't know how to say it. Who do you want to go to next? [00:59:50] Speaker C: This is special. Asterisk. [00:59:54] Speaker B: What's the asterisk for me not liking it? Oh, the Australian accent. [00:59:59] Speaker A: The asterisk should denote your deep Seated biased xenophobia or aversion to Australian people. [01:00:09] Speaker B: Yes. [01:00:09] Speaker A: You. You hate Australians. [01:00:11] Speaker C: The manner of the. The a. The specific Aussie accent. Cuz I know, I know the range of Aussie accents. The specific one and then the shoutiness. [01:00:22] Speaker A: So it is special. [01:00:23] Speaker C: It is special. Still gets a special. [01:00:26] Speaker A: Okay. [01:00:26] Speaker B: But it gets an asterisk. [01:00:27] Speaker A: It's an asterisk special. [01:00:29] Speaker B: I give it special with no asterisk. I really enjoyed I it. The combination of the puppetry and the material. I thought it was very creative. [01:00:39] Speaker A: Yeah. And I want to say shout out to this guy over here because, you know, I was ready to crucify him for this choice and it turns out he's chosen another brilliant one that has opened. Opened my eyes. Opened. [01:00:53] Speaker B: Broadening horizons. [01:00:54] Speaker A: Broadening my horizons comedy wise. And I think that's what this is about for us. [01:00:58] Speaker B: It's all about. [01:00:59] Speaker A: Your horizons were broadened. [01:01:01] Speaker B: Thawing caveman stand up comedian. [01:01:04] Speaker A: Yeah. Thawing us out. Teaching us about comedy. [01:01:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:01:08] Speaker A: In the modern age. This guy's doing it right. [01:01:11] Speaker B: Doing the Lord's work over. [01:01:12] Speaker C: I have seen. Yep. Started off hating stand up. Now I'm begrudgingly sort of liking it now. [01:01:17] Speaker A: You know what the next thing is? You and I get. Get our acts together and we get back out, start doing our acts and. [01:01:23] Speaker B: Then we can do an episode about. [01:01:24] Speaker C: That ship has sailed lets you and. [01:01:28] Speaker B: I have it back to port. [01:01:29] Speaker A: You do your act, I do my act and then we. We come in here and Christian tells. [01:01:33] Speaker C: Who'S better that ship has sailed. It is not got five miles out of the harbor. Keeled over dangerously snapped into and sunk. [01:01:43] Speaker A: Have you watched some of these comedians out there in these rooms? You could roll out. Roll out of bed and do better than some of these guys. Awful. That's not a. That's not a slam on the Lincoln Lodge. [01:01:57] Speaker C: Really. [01:01:58] Speaker A: That's a slam on the comedy that's out there today. Right? [01:02:04] Speaker C: Yep. [01:02:04] Speaker A: We can do better. We will do better. We're going to do it. I'm working on my act. [01:02:10] Speaker B: I hope you do it. [01:02:11] Speaker C: This, this, this whole 23 episode thing better not just been of a. A preamble to you getting back on stage. [01:02:19] Speaker A: What do you mean preamble? Am I not allowed to get back on stage? [01:02:22] Speaker C: Have I been fluffing your comedy for 23 fucking episodes just to get you erect enough to get back on stage? I wouldn't be disappointed. [01:02:32] Speaker A: So you don't want me back on stage? Try to keep me down. Like where this is headed, I don't know. Yeah, I Didn't. That was a threat. All right, who are we doing next week? [01:02:43] Speaker B: All right, next week we are going to stay in the year 2016 and we are going to review Eliza. Eliza Schlesinger. [01:02:51] Speaker A: Oh, I've heard of this. [01:02:53] Speaker B: We're going to do the special Confirmed Kills, which was filmed in the Vic Theater and directed by friend of the Lincoln Lodge, Bobcat Goldthwaite. [01:03:03] Speaker A: Really? [01:03:04] Speaker B: Yes. [01:03:04] Speaker A: How about Bobcat? You talked to him. Is he coming around anymore? [01:03:07] Speaker C: Maybe. You know, maybe that'll be my homework assignment. I'll text him. Normally, I only text him once a year when I'm watching Scrooged. [01:03:17] Speaker A: Needs to tell him how great he was in that. You're glazing him. This is what the kids would say. You're glazing vodka. [01:03:26] Speaker C: Maybe we could get him just to. [01:03:28] Speaker A: Phone in and is he still in rural Illinois? [01:03:32] Speaker C: No, he moved back to la, but I think he's a good enough chap. Oh, no, that's my homework assignment. [01:03:38] Speaker A: Well, yeah, because he directed it, so. Yeah, let's get him on. [01:03:40] Speaker C: Yeah, all right, we'll see. You got to set the tech up, though. It can't be. We got to test the tech. [01:03:46] Speaker A: Yeah, well, let's have a. Let's have. Well, maybe we should punt then, and we do somebody else and we'll have a call in, like one, you know, Croatia's or somebody call in. We'll have a. Have one of our mates call in. [01:03:58] Speaker B: I know how to do it. Easy as putting a laptop right here. Zoom call. [01:04:03] Speaker A: Let's do a test run. Yeah. [01:04:04] Speaker C: Every time I think something's easy, it turns into a shit fire. All right. [01:04:09] Speaker A: Thank you for the glasses. Thank you for the Hill Street Blues Cub. You're mentioned. [01:04:12] Speaker C: Well, the glasses is meant to be staying in. We have to. These are. Mind you, they give me a headache. Bloody hell. [01:04:18] Speaker A: Well, because they squeeze underneath the. [01:04:20] Speaker C: No, no, just the eyeball stuff. [01:04:24] Speaker A: How do I know which ones are mine? Are the ladies one? [01:04:26] Speaker C: I think they. [01:04:27] Speaker A: They say two on it. [01:04:28] Speaker C: They're the same. [01:04:29] Speaker A: Are you a two? [01:04:30] Speaker C: Bigger. I'm a one. I think the numbers on there somewhere, right? Yeah, it is. [01:04:34] Speaker A: It's on there. Yeah. Okay. All right. Adios, master. [01:04:51] Speaker B: As honest one.