Review: Y'all Wanna Hear Something Crazy, Ms. Pat

[00:00:08] Speaker A: The past couple episodes I've had to run out of here to make. Make urine. [00:00:14] Speaker B: Yep. Well, that's 50 years old, mate. [00:00:17] Speaker A: Yeah. And so I think I'm gonna order one of those Texas catheters for upcoming episode. [00:00:24] Speaker C: What's a Texas catheter? [00:00:26] Speaker A: Texas catheter is a. It's something of like a condom that you put over your. Your limp penis. Very tight. [00:00:34] Speaker C: I used to dream about something like this when I would be driving long distances and it would just. It would. It was. [00:00:39] Speaker A: Yes, yes. [00:00:40] Speaker C: It's for that it would go. Continue through a hole through the bottom of the car. So you never had to stop it or. [00:00:47] Speaker A: I didn't think about that. Okay. So that's a great idea. [00:00:49] Speaker C: Oh my God. I always want. [00:00:50] Speaker A: Oh my God. What a fucking genius idea. They ought to put that in be so simple. Fancy new cars. [00:00:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:00:55] Speaker B: Why don't you just do what lorry drivers do, engineering. Just feed it to a 2L bottle. [00:00:59] Speaker C: Well, because out of the bottom of the car you don't have to worry about it anymore. You just. You're done. [00:01:03] Speaker A: I don't know if ever if you caught that right there, that British talk. [00:01:07] Speaker C: Lorry drivers. [00:01:08] Speaker A: Lorry driver. [00:01:09] Speaker C: Speaking of which, I had a British. What's what. What kind of potatoes is a bubble, bubbles and steam or something? [00:01:16] Speaker B: Bubbles and bubble and squeak. [00:01:18] Speaker C: Bubble and squeak. What is that? [00:01:19] Speaker B: Leftover potatoes fried with cabbage left. [00:01:23] Speaker C: That sounds good. [00:01:23] Speaker A: That does sound good. [00:01:24] Speaker B: It is, yeah. If you can do it. I've all. My dad was magnificent at fry ups. Hardy could do it like a line cook and his bubble and squeak was amazing. And every time I try and do it, it's like it. When he. It was like flash fried. So you get that crispy right brown spot. I can never achieve that. [00:01:47] Speaker A: Maybe higher heat. [00:01:49] Speaker C: Yep. [00:01:49] Speaker B: Oil. I've tried up vegetable oil. [00:01:52] Speaker A: Put a nice fry on everything. [00:01:53] Speaker B: Yeah. I just can never get it to where it's like that crispy brown stuff. [00:01:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:01:59] Speaker A: So where did you hear that term bubbles and squirrels? [00:02:01] Speaker C: It was on yesterday's Connections, the New York Times game. Connections. Yeah. [00:02:06] Speaker B: It's funny because Heather pounced straight away because we do it together. [00:02:09] Speaker C: Okay. Yeah. [00:02:10] Speaker B: She's like, I only know this because of, you know, 28 years of you. [00:02:14] Speaker C: Yeah, right. [00:02:14] Speaker A: And I had. [00:02:15] Speaker C: I had a feeling that one of the categories had something to do with potatoes. But I couldn't get the fourth one. And finally when it, you know, I knew jacket potatoes, that was one of them. Chips was one of them. Mash was one of them. I knew those three and the third one, the fourth one, I'm like, what the hell? I'm reading everything in there. And sure enough, bubble and squeak. I said, I got to bring this up tomorrow. [00:02:34] Speaker A: Yeah. I never played that game. I see it back there. Yeah, yeah. [00:02:39] Speaker C: I'm in a little group chat. We made up a game a couple of years ago. It goes like this. You have to do the wordle, then you send it to the group chat, right? And then you have to do the connections. And your score is the total amount you got on the wordle, plus the minutes between the sending the wordle and the connections, plus the amount that you got on the connections. All right? And that's your total. And it's like golf. You want to get the lowest score. [00:03:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:02] Speaker B: What about strands? Do you use strands? [00:03:05] Speaker C: I used to do strands, but then what happened? They. No, no, no. Okay. Strands. I used to play strands. And I don't remember why I stopped. Mini. I stopped because they started charging a subscription. [00:03:16] Speaker A: Mini. [00:03:16] Speaker C: What? [00:03:16] Speaker B: None of those three. [00:03:17] Speaker C: The crossword puzzle. [00:03:18] Speaker A: Mini. Crossword. Yeah. [00:03:19] Speaker C: What? [00:03:19] Speaker B: Oh, Mini. But those three still. [00:03:22] Speaker C: Yeah. I think strands was too hard for me. I just stopped because. [00:03:25] Speaker B: Did you ever try hurdle? [00:03:27] Speaker C: No. [00:03:28] Speaker B: Which is like. It plays you a clip of music and you have to guess what it was. [00:03:33] Speaker C: That's right up my alley. It's like bar trivia. They do, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:03:38] Speaker B: That's how I learned. You know, you said one time I'm encyclopedic with, like, that knowledge of that little clip. It's because Radio 1 used to do a road show in the summer where they would tour all these, you know, things. But they had a game show they did called Bits and Pieces, and they would play, like, 10 clips in a row. And, like, the winner, obviously, was the one who got the most of the clips. [00:04:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:04:00] Speaker B: Me and my mates used to sit waiting by the radio for that every day. Bits and Pieces. [00:04:05] Speaker A: That's. [00:04:05] Speaker C: That's a. That's a fun game. What was the one you just recommended? Hurdle. And how do you spell. [00:04:09] Speaker B: I think that's dead now. Oh, yeah. [00:04:11] Speaker C: I wonder if it's archived somewhere. [00:04:12] Speaker A: Was it a spin off of wordle? [00:04:15] Speaker B: Yeah, obviously. [00:04:16] Speaker A: Well, there were. [00:04:17] Speaker B: I don't think it was a New York Times thing. [00:04:19] Speaker A: No. [00:04:21] Speaker C: You know, you can find archived connections, so you can just play them over and over and over again. Not just the one every day, huh? Yeah, yeah, they're free. [00:04:30] Speaker A: I do the New York Times crossword in the Sun Times. The Sun Times prints the new Times password each day. [00:04:39] Speaker C: You can go on their website and print it up at home, too. Have you ever done that? [00:04:42] Speaker A: On whose website? New York Times. [00:04:43] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah, I think so. [00:04:45] Speaker B: Is it cryptic or regular? Those cryptics do my head in. [00:04:50] Speaker A: Oh, those are usually on Thursdays. Yeah, I hate those. [00:04:54] Speaker C: What is it? What's a cryptic one? What does that mean? [00:04:56] Speaker B: It's like when the clues are like. Passes through a tunnel but rejects the banana skin on the other side. And you're like, what the. [00:05:06] Speaker A: Like a theme or. [00:05:07] Speaker C: They're all. [00:05:08] Speaker A: There's these different clues that are connected in a weird way that you have to figure out. And if you can't figure it out, you really can't solve them. [00:05:14] Speaker C: Yeah. Okay. [00:05:15] Speaker A: It doesn't make sense otherwise. Yeah, I don't like those either. [00:05:18] Speaker C: I used to do the. Remember the red eye when they had him at the bus? [00:05:22] Speaker A: Sure. We've talked about the red eye a lot on program. [00:05:24] Speaker C: We have. Okay. [00:05:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:25] Speaker C: I used to do that crossword every day on the bus and try to get it done before I got to work. Was that. Do you know if. Was that a New York Times or a Sun. Was that a Sun. Times. Therefore, Ergo, the New York Times crossword. [00:05:36] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:05:37] Speaker C: Those were easy. I mean, I don't think they were. Yeah, they weren't like a copycat. New York crime or like New York crime. New York Times. [00:05:45] Speaker B: Do you remember when sudoku first came out? [00:05:47] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. I can't do that. I never. I never got into it, but. Although that was probably because everybody was doing it, so, you know, I like to reject what the masses are consuming. [00:05:58] Speaker B: I got into it because at the time, I was taking a lot of transatlantic flights, you know, maybe four. Yeah, yeah. And when you run out of every video. [00:06:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:06:08] Speaker B: You just like the only thing left in the mag. [00:06:11] Speaker C: Yeah. And I guess I say that I reject everything the masses are consuming, but I probably did. I probably never got into it because it would take me a transatlantic flight to get one done. [00:06:20] Speaker A: A sudoku? [00:06:21] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:06:22] Speaker A: Take that long. [00:06:23] Speaker C: Oh, I need a good eight, nine hours. [00:06:26] Speaker A: I can only do the first level of difficulty, and then after that, it's just like. I don't fucking. Can't figure it out. Who am I, John Nash? You have to have a beautiful mind to do that. That kind of work. And you do. You're. You're something of a savant. [00:06:40] Speaker C: He's talking to Mark. [00:06:41] Speaker A: Yes, clearly. [00:06:43] Speaker C: Yeah. Just want to make sure everybody knows who. [00:06:45] Speaker A: That clarification wasn't needed. [00:06:46] Speaker C: Oh, okay. We can edit that out [00:06:50] Speaker A: yet. Your reputation is of a ham fisted. Foul Jerry Rigger. [00:06:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:57] Speaker A: Male chauvinist pig. [00:06:58] Speaker B: Foul mouth. Gutters night is what I am. [00:07:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:01] Speaker C: Have you seen the article in the Comedy Gazelle? [00:07:03] Speaker A: No. About him? [00:07:04] Speaker C: Interview with the one Mark Gary. [00:07:06] Speaker A: The one where he interviewed you in here? [00:07:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:08] Speaker A: No, where is it? Online. [00:07:10] Speaker C: I'll send it to you. Yeah. [00:07:11] Speaker A: Can I get a print copy? I'm sure you can print copy of this rag. [00:07:15] Speaker C: I doubt it. [00:07:15] Speaker A: Comedy Gazelle. [00:07:16] Speaker C: Yeah, Very well written. Written by Jerry Homity. [00:07:21] Speaker A: Jerry Homity, yes, he was. I don't remember his act. [00:07:25] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:07:26] Speaker B: How many comedy. [00:07:27] Speaker C: That's right. [00:07:28] Speaker A: That's a fake name. How did you read the article, Mark? [00:07:32] Speaker B: I did actually. [00:07:33] Speaker A: And do you feel like your thoughts and words were represented accurately? [00:07:37] Speaker B: This is the first article I've ever read that hasn't somewhere on the spectrum have mildly annoyed me to full on annoyed me. [00:07:46] Speaker A: It hasn't. [00:07:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:47] Speaker A: But it's your voice. So you're saying you weren't annoyed by your own words. Words. [00:07:52] Speaker B: And it's really weird. Like you can. I've been interviewed in the past. I know that sounds a bit big. Big headed. [00:08:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:00] Speaker B: For stuff. And I always. I'll tell my Mrs. About it because she likes. And I'll say, oh, we're in this. And she'll say, what's the interview like? And I'll say I'm not reading it. And then she'll always like wear me down. She'll immediately read it. Oh, honey, that's a really nice interview. It's good. And I'll be going, I'm not reading it because there's going to be one sense in there or they're going to fixate on something that what to me was incidental. And every, every time I go, she wears me down to. To. To read them and I end up annoyed. This one, there was like two hours in here and half an hour in the bloody corridor and I was like, you know, and I was like unloading. Not on him. But you know, I was just like, okay, this is. [00:08:53] Speaker A: So you must have really depressed after this. [00:08:55] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, holy shit. Tell me about it. For three days I walked in the door and I said to my missus, I can't talk for at least two hours. [00:09:05] Speaker C: I'm going to my quiet room. [00:09:06] Speaker B: Yeah, I think I went upstairs or something. I was just like, this is gonna [00:09:10] Speaker C: take some lay down under the bed. [00:09:11] Speaker B: Yeah. But yeah, it's a great article. He really honed in on what mattered and sort of the funny thing, the only thing that was funny with it was he was everyone's obsessed with this TJ Miller anecdote I have about. About. And he was like, I gotta. I gotta do. I gotta do the T.J. miller anecdote. [00:09:36] Speaker A: What do you mean he's gotta ask you about it? [00:09:38] Speaker B: Yeah. And then that makes it in there. And I'm like, that's just an incidental thing. [00:09:43] Speaker C: And it's funny, though. [00:09:44] Speaker A: Have you told that anecdote on this program? [00:09:46] Speaker C: That's been. It was. It's talked about since that. People that read that article, that's what they point out, like that T.J. miller thing that was. That was funny about the article that you're talking about. Yeah, right. [00:09:55] Speaker A: How long has it been out, this article? [00:09:57] Speaker C: Oh, only about a week, I think. Geez. Everybody's talking about. One of the comics that comes in here sent it to me last week, and it's been making its rounds. [00:10:05] Speaker A: Speaking of TJ Miller, this episode of. [00:10:07] Speaker C: I was wondering, Isn't that. [00:10:09] Speaker A: What's it. Isn't this fun? [00:10:10] Speaker C: Isn't this special? [00:10:11] Speaker A: Isn't this a special. [00:10:12] Speaker C: All of that. Yep. [00:10:13] Speaker A: Isn't that special? Is brought to you by TJ's Choice Hot Sauces. We've got a Chipotle something here and a intense ghost pepper type. [00:10:25] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:10:26] Speaker A: Bottle. One for each of you. [00:10:27] Speaker C: Hey. [00:10:27] Speaker B: All right. [00:10:28] Speaker A: From my good friend TJ Miller. [00:10:29] Speaker C: I've had TJ Miller's hot sauce before. It's very good. I really enjoyed it. Yeah. [00:10:33] Speaker A: I don't know which one you're getting, but that's. That hot one is really hot. [00:10:36] Speaker B: You like really hot? [00:10:37] Speaker C: I like really hot. Yeah. [00:10:38] Speaker B: Okay. Because that's a. [00:10:40] Speaker A: You're more of a Chipotle guy. [00:10:41] Speaker C: All right. Well, thank you. [00:10:42] Speaker B: I'm glad. [00:10:42] Speaker A: Our new sponsor. [00:10:43] Speaker C: All right. [00:10:44] Speaker B: I'm glad you gave it to me because I reached for an old hot sauce in the back of the cupboard the other day. [00:10:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:10:50] Speaker B: And it had, like, separated out. [00:10:52] Speaker C: Yeah, they do that. [00:10:53] Speaker B: Does that mean it's off, or can I shake it in? [00:10:56] Speaker C: Shake it back up? [00:10:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:59] Speaker C: This is great. [00:10:59] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:11:00] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:11:00] Speaker C: Oh, this is going to be my work hot sauce. [00:11:03] Speaker B: If it's the present section, that's what [00:11:05] Speaker C: I did with the last one. I had a bottle hidden somewhere. Somebody had given me one here of TJ sauce. Yeah. So it was my work hot sauce. [00:11:12] Speaker B: Well, is this the present section? [00:11:14] Speaker A: I guess I want. Are we gonna hear that T.J. miller story, though? That's in the article. [00:11:18] Speaker B: I think I already said it. [00:11:20] Speaker C: I don't. You know what? I don't think so. Because when I read it, I'd Never heard that anecdote before. [00:11:25] Speaker A: Let's get him in here. [00:11:26] Speaker B: Oh, come on. All right, if this is the present section, I was fleeing. [00:11:30] Speaker A: Oh. [00:11:31] Speaker B: And I found this. [00:11:33] Speaker A: Oh, my God, that's perfect. [00:11:34] Speaker B: Whoops. Yeah, I nearly jeffed that up. And I thought, well, like, you know, I can't give a present to Christian, and then. And then Bill's gonna feel upset again, so I. This was the nearest thing I could find. [00:11:48] Speaker A: Oh, my. [00:11:48] Speaker B: That you might wear. [00:11:50] Speaker A: Oh, my God. This is. Is this a. Is this, like, legitimate from then. This isn't like a. A kitschy. [00:11:57] Speaker B: No, it's. [00:11:59] Speaker A: Someone went ironic thing that somebody made a guy. [00:12:02] Speaker B: The guy had about. [00:12:02] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:12:03] Speaker B: Four Branson, Missouri hats. [00:12:07] Speaker C: What does yours say? [00:12:07] Speaker A: Mine says the Lawrence Welk show, which is amazing. It has the bubbles from the show. [00:12:11] Speaker C: Mine says McCann Construction Specialties Company. [00:12:15] Speaker A: Ooh, I wonder if begain knows you guys. [00:12:18] Speaker C: You know, when I joke about having a big head. I want to show you something. Look at this. Right on the last dot. This is on the. It's a. [00:12:25] Speaker A: You got a monstrous head. [00:12:26] Speaker C: It's on the final possible. Right? [00:12:29] Speaker A: And it. Holy man, what a melon you have barely fit. It's on there, though. [00:12:36] Speaker B: I have never seen anyone take it to the last. Right the last notch. [00:12:41] Speaker C: It's no joke, Eisenstein. My head weighs 12 pounds. [00:12:44] Speaker A: Get a melon on him. Or has a melon. I didn't realize that your head was that big. Just looking at it. [00:12:51] Speaker C: I've been crushing pillows since I was 13. [00:12:55] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:56] Speaker B: Is it front to back or side to side? [00:12:58] Speaker C: I think it's just the whole circumference is just bulbous. Yeah, it's a big head. [00:13:04] Speaker A: Yeah. All I can think about is what that correlates to. You know, like, big hands means, but big penis, big head means what? Well, didn't know. [00:13:12] Speaker B: But didn't the feet. Didn't people studying eugenics get in trouble for measuring skulls and stuff? [00:13:18] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:13:19] Speaker A: Well, the big Hitler thing, I don't think they wanted. The bigger your skull, the more they liked you. [00:13:24] Speaker B: No, I think it just. It was a genetic, like. [00:13:27] Speaker C: Yeah, they could tell. They can map it out and. Yeah. Tell things about your personality, your health, your. [00:13:38] Speaker A: What does it mean? [00:13:39] Speaker C: They map the parts of your skull, and it's supposed to explain what kind of person you are. [00:13:45] Speaker B: Well, in a way, it still amazes me that you can drill into your skull. [00:13:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:13:49] Speaker B: And live. [00:13:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:13:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:51] Speaker B: How's that possible? [00:13:53] Speaker A: It's just bone. [00:13:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:13:55] Speaker A: The skull, you can't drill into the brain necessarily. [00:13:58] Speaker B: Although you could what's this self trepanation that people do then? [00:14:03] Speaker A: Who's. What, what is that? [00:14:05] Speaker B: That's where you drill into your own [00:14:07] Speaker A: skull for fun, to get high. [00:14:09] Speaker B: Dahmer was doing it to his victims, wasn't he? [00:14:12] Speaker C: Oh, he was, yeah. I don't know if that was for fun for Dahmer. [00:14:16] Speaker A: Let's not get. Let's not get into Dahmer. [00:14:18] Speaker B: Do you remember when the cops could have caught Dahmer, like once? Because the guy was literally walking. [00:14:24] Speaker C: He was a kid and he did. [00:14:26] Speaker B: Dahmer drilled into his head at the time. [00:14:28] Speaker C: He had a drill and he let him go. [00:14:31] Speaker B: Yeah. They said go back to. Go back. [00:14:35] Speaker A: What they. Dahmer let a guy go after drilling into his own. [00:14:41] Speaker C: It was a kid. Yeah. [00:14:42] Speaker A: Is that how Dahmer got caught? [00:14:44] Speaker C: No, they brought the kid back and they're like, what are you doing running away? [00:14:48] Speaker B: The cops took the kid back to Dahmer? [00:14:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:14:51] Speaker A: Like, hey, why did they bring back to Dahmer? Was he. [00:14:53] Speaker C: Because they were like, what are you doing? Where's your, you know, where are you supposed to be? Where's your adult? And the kid's like, oh, just escape from this house. And like, okay, we're bringing you back there. [00:15:00] Speaker A: That doesn't make sense. [00:15:01] Speaker C: How old was this kid adolescent who [00:15:05] Speaker B: played Dahmer in that movie? It was. It wasn't Jared Leto. [00:15:10] Speaker A: He could have been. [00:15:11] Speaker B: No, but he played the Hinckley. [00:15:13] Speaker A: He played Hinckley? [00:15:13] Speaker B: Yeah, he played the Lenin guy. It was somewhat. It was some other guy. [00:15:16] Speaker A: It wasn't Hinckley that killed Lennon, was it? [00:15:19] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:20] Speaker A: No, that was Mark David Chapman. John Hinckley shot Ronald Reagan and James Brady. [00:15:25] Speaker B: Jared Leto played Mark Chapman. [00:15:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Mark David Chapman. Yeah. Well, this is taking a dark turn. Tony had that T.J. miller story. What is it? [00:15:35] Speaker B: Just tell it quick. [00:15:36] Speaker C: Yeah, just give us the boiled down version. [00:15:38] Speaker B: I always use this, an example to young comedians of what it means to be. To be intelligent and committed to. To what you're doing. Whenever I would have a cast me in, I'd say, all right, guys, we got to up the fly ring. Who's going to join me at Belmont? L stop at 7:00am and of course, everyone immediately looks down at the floor. You know, it's minus 10 outside. T.J. miller, hand up. Every time. He's like, billy, don't be a hero. Hand up. And So I meet TJ one morning, maybe 6:37am at Belmont. L stop and he rocks up with one of those big neck brace foam things on his head. Right yeah, this is half six, minus 10 degrees in the morning. I go, dude, you can't be flyering with that on. [00:16:29] Speaker A: And he's a joke. Was it a prop? That's funny. [00:16:32] Speaker C: Mark's telling him, like, you're injured. You can't be out here. [00:16:34] Speaker B: You. [00:16:35] Speaker A: He was really injured. [00:16:37] Speaker B: You can't be out here. And he looks at me, he goes like, he turns, like, he goes, I'll be fine. I'll be fine. I'm like, dude, you can't. I'll be fine. I'll be fine. So we get every flyer in shift. You had X amount of flyers. Now I can't fly her for. I can't make eye contact. I'm just, you know. Whereas when you fly her and you've got to be confident, you got to be his best show in town. Boom. Straight in their face, right? [00:17:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:17:04] Speaker B: TJ standing there with his neck bracelet like this. And by the end of the shift, I've handed out maybe 30 flies, and he's just dishing them like a Vegas dealer. We run out of cards. I go, all right, let's get to work then. You know, it's coming up to time. He said, okay. And then he just bends down, takes the neck brace off and puts it in his bag. And I look at him, I go, you're not injured at all. And he just sort of gave me a sly wink and, you know, tap of the nose kind of thing and walks off to get on the L. And I'm like, of course. Who's not. Who's going to refuse a flyer from a guy standing there looking like he's brilliant? And that's how you win. You think it through and you stay committed. [00:17:55] Speaker A: That's how you win, is by being manipulative and underhanded. [00:17:59] Speaker B: Well, it's getting someone to take a flyer. [00:18:02] Speaker C: Right. [00:18:02] Speaker B: I think. I think if you want to go in a binary moral universe, you could, say, maybe shake a stick at it and go, that's a bit naughty. But if you want to come back to the reality of a Shade of gray moral universe, and you could also [00:18:17] Speaker C: go to a universe in which that person takes a flyer out of guilt, ends up going to the show, having a good time, and gets turned on to something that they wouldn't have otherwise been turned on to. [00:18:28] Speaker A: Okay, I see it. It working to get the person to take the flyer, but does the. The brace also, like, you just kind of said, make the person want to go to the show more? [00:18:40] Speaker B: No, but that's not what it's about. [00:18:41] Speaker C: You got the flyer in the hand. [00:18:43] Speaker B: Flyer in the hand. [00:18:43] Speaker C: The flyer makes him want to go to the show. [00:18:45] Speaker B: End game. [00:18:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:18:48] Speaker C: One step at a time. [00:18:50] Speaker A: Well, he's done very well for. For himself, tj, as we know. [00:18:54] Speaker B: I knew he was going to make it as a comedian the second I met him. One of the first words out of his mouth is, have you read this book? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's about guerrilla marketing. [00:19:05] Speaker A: Yeah, that's the key really to making it is to know how to market yourself, especially today with the social media and stuff. Right? [00:19:15] Speaker B: Yeah, but I think a lot of people hide behind their failure by saying, oh, I'm not making it because I fail. I can't market. [00:19:24] Speaker C: Right. [00:19:24] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, that's bollocks, mate. Like Lily Allen a record deal by just posting stuff on MySpace. [00:19:32] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, what were we talking about? [00:19:40] Speaker B: I. I just thought, why have you playing cards? [00:19:42] Speaker A: They're not. These are Willie's Remedy Hemp Smokes. CBD type of smoke for my ailing back. And during. During the break on today's show, we're gonna go out on the loading dock and have a Willy's Remedy Hemp smokes. [00:20:02] Speaker B: You know Lawrence Welkin. [00:20:05] Speaker A: I love this Lawrence. [00:20:05] Speaker C: Well, Cat, we're gonna clam bake this podcast studio. [00:20:08] Speaker A: Can we smoke in here? [00:20:10] Speaker C: I don't see any signs. [00:20:11] Speaker A: Do you mind if we smoke smoke up in here? Have an ashtray here. That'll be fun. [00:20:14] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:14] Speaker A: Like where we smoke and you like an old time. [00:20:16] Speaker C: Get your pipe. [00:20:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I'll get the pipe. [00:20:18] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:20:19] Speaker B: Oh, you haven't talked about the pipe. [00:20:20] Speaker C: Yeah. What's going on with the pipe? [00:20:22] Speaker A: I. I used it last week to smoke some hemp out of. Oh, how was it 100 legal to have? [00:20:29] Speaker C: How was it? [00:20:30] Speaker A: It was a little harsh. Yeah, it had the. It had the residue of the tobacco in it too. So, yeah, when I smoked the tobacco out of the pipe, I don't inhale it. [00:20:38] Speaker C: It's like a spliff almost. [00:20:39] Speaker A: You do inhale. [00:20:40] Speaker C: It's like a. That's what the French like to smoke are the spliffs. The. [00:20:43] Speaker A: It's a half tobacco. [00:20:44] Speaker C: Half. Yeah, half tobacco, half marijuana cigarettes. [00:20:47] Speaker A: Now, there's no psychoactive ingredients in these hemp smokes. I want you to know that. They're just. It's for cbd. And the CBD is good for inflammation and my back pain, which, you know, I've been suffering from for a long time. [00:21:01] Speaker C: What does it do for your. [00:21:02] Speaker A: Might be good for your. Your gout or your bum. Wheel. How's your wheel? Did you have that looked at? [00:21:08] Speaker B: Yeah, they said, you know, obviously, don't be such a fat bastard and try building it up. So I'm. That's why I'm on the bicycle all the time. [00:21:17] Speaker A: I think you ought to try some of these hemp smokes now. What? Cbd. It's natural. [00:21:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:22] Speaker C: And then go for a ride. [00:21:24] Speaker A: We'll just try one a little later. So is that a yes or no to us smoking in here? I think we talked about this before. It'll get all. It'll get all smoky on the curtain. Yeah, but it'd be. Also, can't be kind of cool like a 70s radio program. [00:21:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:21:36] Speaker A: You know, like you're Mike Wallace and. [00:21:38] Speaker C: Right. [00:21:39] Speaker A: I'm Andy Rooney. [00:21:40] Speaker C: I'm gonna put a bottle of scotch in the drawer over here. [00:21:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:21:43] Speaker C: Pull up three glasses. [00:21:45] Speaker A: Yeah, we should bring in some of that stuff, like. [00:21:46] Speaker C: Mary Tyler Moore show. [00:21:48] Speaker A: Yeah, that'd be fun. Have an ashtray burning in here going. That'd be great. [00:21:52] Speaker B: Can we do that sitting in my collared shirt as well? Braces on? [00:21:57] Speaker C: Yeah, braces. [00:22:00] Speaker A: Oh. [00:22:01] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:22:02] Speaker A: Yeah. You ever wear suspenders? [00:22:06] Speaker B: Only if I did. It was a joke. [00:22:09] Speaker A: I wore them as a lad. It was kind of a thing. I might bring. I might get those. [00:22:12] Speaker C: I think I. When I was a kid, I had some too. [00:22:13] Speaker A: Yeah? [00:22:14] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:14] Speaker A: You wouldn't wear them up. You'd let them hang down. It was like an 8, late 80s. [00:22:18] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, I remember that. [00:22:20] Speaker A: Like you put them on the Bugle Boys and. [00:22:21] Speaker C: Yeah, I was too young still for that, I think. I think I just wore them to church. [00:22:26] Speaker B: What band popularized that then? [00:22:28] Speaker C: Oh, I don't know. Who did? [00:22:30] Speaker B: I'm asking you. [00:22:31] Speaker C: Oh, I thought maybe you had an answer. I don't think I could be New kids, maybe. We think so. [00:22:37] Speaker A: I don't know if they popular. They didn't popularize it, but they might have worn that a little bit. [00:22:41] Speaker C: What about the. Wearing the. The clothes backwards, the jeans backwards? [00:22:46] Speaker A: That was crisscross. [00:22:47] Speaker C: Yeah, that was crisscross. Yeah, I know the Looney Tunes were doing that for a while. They'd stick their tail through the. [00:22:52] Speaker A: The front zipper. [00:22:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:54] Speaker B: Did you. There was a band in England. It was a teeny bot band called Bross. And one of them had, you know, the Grolsh bottle caps. [00:23:02] Speaker C: No. [00:23:04] Speaker B: You know, a bottle of Grosch and you have the little flip. [00:23:06] Speaker A: I know what you're talking about. They don't come off, though. It's a. No, it's like a salad Dressing bottle. [00:23:10] Speaker B: No, they come off. [00:23:11] Speaker C: What's gross? [00:23:12] Speaker A: Macrosch has the. Not the. The thing that stays on. [00:23:15] Speaker C: Oh, I know what you're talking about. That beer with the. Yeah, it's glass bottle and it's got the metal clamps that hold metal clamp. The rubber stopper and it's got a rubber stopper. Yeah, yeah. [00:23:26] Speaker B: But you can take them off a piece of piss. You just bend them slightly. And this guy, the lead singer, put them. Bought the things, you know, with a Mel. Thing. [00:23:35] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:23:35] Speaker B: On his shoes. [00:23:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:23:37] Speaker B: You know, just kind of like inserted the. The wire into his thing. [00:23:41] Speaker C: Right into the. [00:23:42] Speaker B: And the next thing you know, every bell ending. [00:23:44] Speaker C: Yeah, of course. [00:23:45] Speaker B: Walking around with grol caps on their shoes. [00:23:48] Speaker C: Who did this? [00:23:49] Speaker B: The lead singer of Bross. [00:23:51] Speaker C: What's br? [00:23:52] Speaker B: Bross was a teeny bot band. [00:23:55] Speaker C: He did just say that two of [00:23:57] Speaker B: them were like these really good looking twins. Actually the one twin. Both of them became actors and the. One of them was. All of a sudden, I'm watching Hellboy and all. He's the main villain in Hellboy. [00:24:10] Speaker A: Ron Perlman's Hellboy. [00:24:11] Speaker B: Yeah, Ron Perlman's Hellboy. But he was battling an adversary and the adversary was. What was Matt Goss, lead singer of bross from the 80s. [00:24:20] Speaker A: Really? [00:24:20] Speaker C: His name was Goss and he was in Bross. [00:24:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:23] Speaker C: Is that how they got the name? Did they combine two names? [00:24:25] Speaker A: How do you spell it? B R O S S. Bross. [00:24:28] Speaker B: B R O S as in Bros. Oh, Bros. But in England it was Bross. [00:24:32] Speaker C: What's the other person's name that they got the BR from? [00:24:36] Speaker B: You know what is funny is. So Viz. Did the. Viz used to do these stupid ass. Like, you know, you have a magazine and you cut something out of it and make a little thing, you know, [00:24:48] Speaker A: like at the end of Mad magazine, the folding. [00:24:49] Speaker B: Oh, but this was like in English magazines you would be like make your own little. Whatever. It's just dumbass hat or something. Cut things out, fold tab A. [00:25:02] Speaker A: Paper dolls. [00:25:03] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. And Viz used to do joke ones of them. And then one time they did make your own Bross mug. And this is paper, obviously, so it's stupid. But they. They put the pictures of Bross on. I can't even remember what is the third guy's name was, but they misnamed him. So they just put Matt, Luke and Ken, which is what not his name was. Not that. But someone showed it to the band. And part of the tension in the band came because the two brothers started just calling him Ken. Like he's so fucking nondescript. [00:25:39] Speaker C: That's great brass. [00:25:42] Speaker B: Good old Viz. See, Viz always finds a way to work it. [00:25:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:25:46] Speaker B: Work its way back into our orbit. [00:25:48] Speaker A: We want to go back to the Viz thing where you. [00:25:51] Speaker B: It sort of fizzled out in it. Maybe every now and again. A retro hour. [00:25:56] Speaker C: Yeah. Maybe we can reformat the game a little bit, too. Because I feel like the only reason it fizzled out was because it was too hard. [00:26:04] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:05] Speaker A: Well, maybe we just need practice. [00:26:06] Speaker C: Yeah. Maybe that's it. Maybe if we read more vids. [00:26:08] Speaker A: Yes. We'd be more Viz right next to you, in tune. [00:26:11] Speaker C: Yeah, I look at them when we record. Hey, do you want your glasses? [00:26:16] Speaker A: No, I have. I brought my own pair. [00:26:19] Speaker C: Hey, how was the Mike D show? [00:26:21] Speaker A: Oh, my God, so good. Yeah, it was surreal. That's only when people ask me. I said it was surreal to see Mike. Mike D on stage. [00:26:30] Speaker C: What was it like? What was it like just having him on stage? Did he perform all the Beastie Boy songs as if there were other Beastie Boys there? [00:26:39] Speaker A: No, no, he only did two Beastie Boys. [00:26:41] Speaker C: Okay. So he's got his own solo stuff that he was doing. [00:26:44] Speaker A: He's got a new album coming out. [00:26:45] Speaker C: Oh, really? [00:26:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Of weird. I don't know what you'd call it. [00:26:49] Speaker B: Hippin and Hopping. [00:26:50] Speaker A: It's hippin and Hoppin, but it's not like traditional rap. There's maybe some rap in there, but I don't know how you would. I couldn't describe it. [00:26:57] Speaker C: Did you enjoy it? [00:26:58] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Some of the songs, pretty good. Some of you just like. I don't know what the fuck this is they're playing or. [00:27:02] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:27:03] Speaker A: Or whatever. But the show I enjoyed immensely. It was an old. It was. It seemed like a 70s roller rink, but it was a roller rink that was made in the past couple years to look like a 70s roller rink. And they have every detail down to the. [00:27:17] Speaker C: Huh. [00:27:17] Speaker A: You know, the lockers really put your stuff in. [00:27:20] Speaker C: That's cool. [00:27:22] Speaker A: It was really. It was really cool venue. And they didn't sell too many tickets, so you could really get up close and you didn't have to, like, weren't stuffed in there. [00:27:29] Speaker C: And the tickets were cheap too, right? Weren't they? $40. [00:27:32] Speaker A: Yeah. 40 bucks. [00:27:32] Speaker C: That's crazy. [00:27:33] Speaker A: Sold out fast, but, oh, yeah, it was really cool. It was a fun time. [00:27:38] Speaker C: I love knowing that somebody that big to, you know, to generations like ours is. Is putting on cheap shows at cool places like that. [00:27:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:46] Speaker C: I mean, he could have milked it. He could have he could have done whatever he wanted. [00:27:50] Speaker A: People would have paid a bigger venue. [00:27:51] Speaker C: Right? [00:27:53] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, that. I thought that was cool, too. [00:27:55] Speaker C: And he. [00:27:55] Speaker A: And he had his kids with him, and his boys had band and they. They backed his. [00:28:00] Speaker C: Oh, really? [00:28:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:01] Speaker C: I saw something similar to that with Wilco. [00:28:04] Speaker A: Yeah, his kids played with him. [00:28:05] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. They were great again. [00:28:08] Speaker A: Eddie, Van Halen and Wolfgang. [00:28:10] Speaker C: Yeah, that's right. [00:28:10] Speaker A: I don't have any. Do you have a problem with that kind of nepotism? You know, [00:28:16] Speaker C: but I don't think. I don't. I wouldn't. I would separate that from nepotism, though. You know, if the kid sucked, that'd be one thing. You know, if the kid was not a good musician. [00:28:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:24] Speaker B: Yeah. But why do they have to perform together? [00:28:27] Speaker C: I mean, I know it's just like a natural. I mean, obviously, you know, like, you're around each other all the time. Why you don't. I guess you don't have to perform [00:28:36] Speaker B: together when, like, Led Zeppelin got Jason Bonham to play. [00:28:40] Speaker A: Right? Yeah, well, that's what. That's what Van Halen did. He didn't replace the dad, but, yeah, play somebody. [00:28:48] Speaker C: I think if. [00:28:48] Speaker A: If. [00:28:49] Speaker C: Yeah, if somebody said, let's go see Wilco. And I went. And it ended up being Wilco, just like Wilco and his sons, you know, or whoever. The lead guy's name is Jeff Tweety. Yeah. [00:28:59] Speaker A: Now the other one's in there, too. Another Tweety. [00:29:01] Speaker C: That'd be one thing. But this wasn't. This was branded as. Just like this is. We didn't go see Wilco. It was Jeff Tweedy and his sons at a. At a charity thing. You know what I mean? So, yeah, I feel like that's different than having Jason Bonham being like, oh, we're going to see Led Zeppelin minus one, plus a different one. [00:29:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:29:20] Speaker C: Anyway, you had a good time? [00:29:22] Speaker A: Well, there's a lot of it. I mean, Willie Nelson and Lucas Nelson go down the line with these guys. [00:29:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:29] Speaker A: Yeah, it was fun. It rained the entire time in New York, though. [00:29:33] Speaker B: Oh. [00:29:33] Speaker C: Oh, really? [00:29:34] Speaker A: 24 hours I was there. Yeah. From beginning. And never stopped. Never stopped. [00:29:39] Speaker C: Where in New York did he stay? [00:29:40] Speaker A: We say the Renaissance right in Times Square, which is a little bit much. [00:29:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:44] Speaker A: You know, a little overwhelming with all that action. [00:29:48] Speaker B: You like it? [00:29:48] Speaker C: Who are you with? [00:29:49] Speaker A: I was my oldest friends from growing up. [00:29:52] Speaker C: Oh, okay. [00:29:52] Speaker A: Yeah, we grew up together. And he. He came down from Boston and met me. [00:29:56] Speaker C: Did he share a room or did he have something? [00:29:57] Speaker A: We did. We shared a room. [00:29:58] Speaker C: What was that? [00:29:58] Speaker A: Like, we each had our own bed. [00:30:00] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:30:03] Speaker A: Yeah, it was. What do you think? We. Something might. [00:30:07] Speaker B: A bit of old lang syne in the night. [00:30:09] Speaker A: You mean make love to each other, me and this fella? No, nothing like that. A couple of straight guys. Him. He's got a wife. I got. I got a wife. I know what you're driving at. Two guys in a hotel room. Yeah. [00:30:24] Speaker C: You're doing a lot of explaining for a question that wasn't asked. [00:30:27] Speaker A: Yeah, you're right. I am. We ate. We had Chinese food. Late at night, we watched a program on tv. It was lights up. [00:30:35] Speaker B: Do you. Do you find it. Do you find it uplifting when you meet really old friends, or do you find it a little bit depressing? [00:30:43] Speaker A: Depends on the friend. [00:30:44] Speaker C: Yeah. It depends who. [00:30:45] Speaker A: And there's, you know, their current state in the world, I suppose. [00:30:50] Speaker B: Obviously, you get one who's like, oh, do you remember when we were kings? And then by the end of it, you're like, this is just. Just demonstrating how bad life has gone downhill at this point. [00:31:02] Speaker A: Well, when you haven't seen them in a while and their face marks the passing of time, as I'm sure yours does. Right. It can be a little melancholy. [00:31:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:11] Speaker A: Just to, you know, realize where you're at in life and. But no, it's always good to see them. [00:31:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:31:18] Speaker C: Right. [00:31:18] Speaker A: You have laughs, right? You really laugh with old friends. Yeah. [00:31:22] Speaker C: I don't know. It feels. Most of the friends that I. That I run into. I know what you mean. Mark. There's one that sticks out in my mind. He was in Chicago like, a year ago, and we got together. Hadn't seen each other in forever. We were very close growing up. And no matter what, every story went back to the hometown we grew up in. [00:31:38] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:31:39] Speaker C: Everything was, you know, and to me, I was like, okay, that's fine. You know, like, that's what this conversation is gonna be. That's. This whole night is gonna be. Remember the time, you know, and I. I can do a night of that. Or there's other friends where the old times don't matter. Those are typically the people that you've kept up with a little bit more over the years. And then sometimes you have somebody that you may have kept up with or you haven't seen in a long time that has turned into a completely different person. [00:32:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:01] Speaker C: Douche. And eventually you realize, I. I don't want anything to do with this person anymore. And then to cut them out. [00:32:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:32:09] Speaker B: So it was a risk meeting an old friend. [00:32:11] Speaker C: It is a. No. [00:32:11] Speaker A: It's not a risk, was it? [00:32:13] Speaker C: Yeah. You know, I kind of agree with you too, Bill. It's not a risk because you're not losing anything. [00:32:17] Speaker B: No. [00:32:17] Speaker A: Yeah, but I. But it's not like I'm surprised keep in touch with this guy. [00:32:20] Speaker B: It's a risk to me because every minute of social interaction is my. [00:32:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:32:25] Speaker B: My battery. [00:32:26] Speaker C: Right? [00:32:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:32:28] Speaker C: Got a low battery. [00:32:29] Speaker A: Yeah, you do. [00:32:31] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:32:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:32] Speaker A: So anyway, what's going on with you guys? Any agenda items? What is happening for the program? I was thinking about you guys. [00:32:42] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:32:43] Speaker A: Yesterday when I come back from admissions test and I stopped at Juul for like at 8 in the morning and I got the breakfast. I got the last egg McMuffin, oh for a dollar and tater tots. And then I got out what was eating it in the car. Immediately turn. Turn on the car. Song comes on. [00:33:05] Speaker C: Hey. All right. [00:33:06] Speaker A: So it was. It was the cosmos with the Jewel breakfast, the Blur song. It all came together. [00:33:13] Speaker C: Yeah. That's great. [00:33:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:15] Speaker B: Well, Jewel, you've shamed me out of Jewel. [00:33:17] Speaker A: You're not there anymore. Why not? [00:33:20] Speaker B: With this big fat bastard tank in front of me, it's gotta go. [00:33:23] Speaker A: Yeah. So what have you been doing? [00:33:25] Speaker B: A lot of bicycling. What kills me is if my knee was good, I could just hit the gym and I'd be off to the races. But I just can't take my knee to the gym right now. [00:33:37] Speaker A: Did you bike in here today? [00:33:38] Speaker B: Yep. [00:33:38] Speaker A: You ought to do what he's doing with that breakfast salad. Get that fiber. Have a big dump, dude. [00:33:44] Speaker B: My life is joyless at this point. I haven't touched chocolate since I got the results. I down to half, maybe half a liter a pop a week. There is nothing in my diet now that brings any joy. [00:34:00] Speaker C: The breakfast salad, that brings joy to my life. Does it bring you joy? Yeah. As a matter of fact, just last night I was looking forward to this morning because of the breakfast salad. [00:34:08] Speaker A: Is it the same salad every morning or do you. [00:34:10] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, typically, same thing. [00:34:11] Speaker A: Do sometimes do a mixed green and then the next morning you do a Caesar. [00:34:15] Speaker C: No, I'm. I'm very much a person of ritual and. And repetition. So, yeah, like, once I. I have built it into it, it's not the same as it was when it started, but it has been the same thing now for a very long time. [00:34:29] Speaker A: How long? The salad. [00:34:32] Speaker C: This is about last summer. I'd say a year. Yeah. Yeah. Approaching. Yeah. [00:34:37] Speaker A: Well, it's all how you look at it, right? Like he finds joy in the salad. You need to find joy in your bowl of oatmeal or your muesli. Whatever you want. [00:34:44] Speaker C: Salad. [00:34:45] Speaker A: Salad. Or whatever. So good, you know, Dress it up nice, spice it up. [00:34:50] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. [00:34:50] Speaker B: I drown it in shit that undoes the good. [00:34:53] Speaker C: So don't do that. Yeah, but you end up. But then I think what happens is at first you don't. You don't look forward to it, you don't enjoy it, but then after time goes by and you. And you start to, you know, just like anything else, you start to. You start to enjoy the part, the subtleties, the parts you didn't enjoy before. [00:35:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:09] Speaker B: See, I'm not anti salad. I'm not like one of those. I only eat meat. I'm not anti salad. I'm just not drawn to it. [00:35:18] Speaker A: Yeah. You miss the sweets. [00:35:20] Speaker B: Oh, they're gone, too. [00:35:22] Speaker A: Yeah. You miss those, I bet. Because you really love a sweet. [00:35:25] Speaker B: Yes, I do. [00:35:26] Speaker A: Maybe start smoking Willie's remedy, Hemp smokes. That'll curb your appetite. [00:35:31] Speaker B: And it's a battle enough as without sending my brain on a roller coaster journey. [00:35:39] Speaker C: Do you think the hemp smoke curbs your appetite or does it? [00:35:43] Speaker A: I've only had a couple, but I don't have either. [00:35:46] Speaker C: You don't get hungry after. [00:35:47] Speaker B: Why don't you just have gummies? [00:35:51] Speaker A: No, because the CBD through the smoke gets right into your bloodstream. [00:35:54] Speaker C: Right. [00:35:55] Speaker A: So I feel the effects immediately. It washes over me and my back is immediately loosened. Yeah. All right. [00:36:04] Speaker C: Yeah. Speaking of loosened. [00:36:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:07] Speaker C: Yeah. We're at about 36 minutes. [00:36:11] Speaker A: Yeah. Mark, you want to. You want to try and get this show in under an hour? Is that your goal? [00:36:16] Speaker C: Got somewhere to be? [00:36:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:18] Speaker C: All right. [00:36:19] Speaker A: Well, I'm always dragging my feet. I don't want to talk about the comedian. [00:36:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:36:24] Speaker A: I just wanted to keep talking about more stuff. [00:36:25] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, I could keep going, too, but we're under a time restraint today. [00:36:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:30] Speaker C: Where do you have to go? The pet store. [00:36:32] Speaker A: You do? [00:36:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:33] Speaker C: Yeah. What are you buying? A snake? [00:36:35] Speaker B: Pets. [00:36:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:36:38] Speaker A: Well, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about there, but before we get started, I want to welcome back in all earnestness our new sponsor. Our old sponsor, Begain Construction, is back on board. [00:36:52] Speaker C: Hold on. [00:36:53] Speaker A: What? [00:36:53] Speaker C: We haven't done two to three sex stories. [00:36:55] Speaker A: Well, that's what I was about to get said. The pod is back. Bill back in form and talking about seeing his own reflection and ejaculating sponsorship back on. As long as there is at least two to three sex stories per episode, we've Got Begain Construction on board. He said he's going to send in lunch, he's going to send in sweatshirts, the whole McGill. He'll even come in hats. Began hats. He said he might even come in and put together that new kitchen for free. Here. [00:37:26] Speaker C: Yes. All right, that's real sponsorship. We better come up with some sex stories fast. [00:37:31] Speaker A: All right, so yes, for two to three. I. I can crank one out right now, but I'm gonna need some help. Yeah, so let's go around, each of us tell a sex story, and then we'll get to the comedian. [00:37:42] Speaker B: You can't just drop it on me like that. [00:37:44] Speaker A: All right, well, you want me to tell. [00:37:48] Speaker C: I don't have sex stories. No, no, not a very. I'm not a very promiscuous person. [00:37:53] Speaker B: Pretty much most of my. My life, women have found me repellent. [00:37:59] Speaker C: I get too nervous. [00:38:00] Speaker A: Yes, but you've long been with a woman that must not find you repellent. She's still with you. So, you know, tales from the boudoir. You know what brought the sponsorship back was the sex story of me in the pan, the milk going over you like that. People want that. People want to hear about our sex stories. I think more than anything else you [00:38:30] Speaker B: want to hear about mine. [00:38:31] Speaker A: Tell us a time when your. Your pan of milk went over, the pan of milk bubbled over. Or tell us a time. Oh, you know what? We never finished talking about that Texas catheter. Tell us a time when you put on a condom and you lost your turgidness. [00:38:55] Speaker B: What? [00:38:55] Speaker C: Yeah, tell us all about it, Mark. [00:38:57] Speaker A: A time when you had to put on a condom. What? No, I was combining. I was thinking about the condom from the Texas catheter. All right, well, it appears we've lost our sponsorship once again. Unless we can come up with some personal sex stories. All right, well, listen, maybe. [00:39:15] Speaker B: What if we bring one next week and didn't just pass it off as our own? [00:39:20] Speaker A: Yeah, he didn't say personally. [00:39:22] Speaker C: Yeah, what if we read. [00:39:23] Speaker A: As long as there's at least two to three sex stories, it's got to [00:39:25] Speaker C: be a good sex story in the viz, right? [00:39:27] Speaker A: Yeah, it could be an old one. It could be. [00:39:29] Speaker C: Look at right here, Johnny. Something from your youth state of Fluxus. [00:39:33] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, well, okay, they've. Their sex life is well documented. All right, well, while you guys are fishing around, I'll tell you one. And I don't even know what the story is other than I'll tell you about the last time I made love to my Wife. The previous episode, I talked about a time where it didn't last very long. And I'm happy to report that last week it did last long. It lasted a nice long time. We both made love. She seemed to enjoy it. And I also. I also enjoyed it. And there you go. [00:40:13] Speaker C: So you also seem to enjoy it. [00:40:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I also enjoyed it. And we enjoyed it. And now she's out of town. She's left me for a few days alone with my devices. [00:40:25] Speaker B: It's time to get in the ring with posh boxing. [00:40:28] Speaker C: I'll be. Yeah. [00:40:32] Speaker A: The main event tonight will be boxing. [00:40:35] Speaker C: The gloves are off. [00:40:36] Speaker B: Posh boxing. 10 rounds with one eyed Willie. [00:40:38] Speaker A: Yeah. 10 rounds with one Eyed Willie. After. Then I'll step out onto the fire escape and enjoy Willy's Remedy. [00:40:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:40:50] Speaker A: Hemp smoke. After the boxing match tonight, she's out of town. All right. [00:40:58] Speaker C: Just a couple of willies. Yeah, a couple of willies hanging out. [00:41:03] Speaker A: A couple willies. So that's it. All right, so listen, maybe I sprung it on you. You're not. You're not gonna have a sex story at the ready. But if we want to keep the sponsorship next week, next episode, we gotta have two or three. [00:41:17] Speaker C: Something. He's been sponsoring us for a long time, and I haven't seen a dime. [00:41:21] Speaker A: You haven't? Yeah. [00:41:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:22] Speaker A: Oh, I've gotten a few meals. [00:41:25] Speaker C: Is that where I'm coming from? [00:41:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:29] Speaker C: So is that how you got this hot sauce? [00:41:32] Speaker A: No, that's my personal relationship with Miller. Yeah. All right, well, let's talk about today's comedian. Mark, you chose her. Her name is Ms. Patricia. Ms. Pat. What's her last name? It said at the end, Ms. Patricia Johnson. [00:41:51] Speaker B: I can't remember. [00:41:52] Speaker A: Well, she goes by Ms. Pat. [00:41:54] Speaker B: I did. [00:41:55] Speaker A: Ms. Pat. [00:41:55] Speaker B: I made the mistake of looking her up on Wikipedia before it. Whoa. Expecting some fireworks. [00:42:03] Speaker C: Really? [00:42:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:04] Speaker A: And did you get the fireworks? [00:42:05] Speaker B: Well, she talked about some of the stuff, but when you read it Cold Light a Day in Wikipedia, you're like a rap sheet. Yeah. Like this. This lady is. She's got dark paths through it. [00:42:18] Speaker A: She's been through it. [00:42:18] Speaker B: Yeah. What drew me to it? Well, first of all, Ms. Pat, someone I had never seen one minute of, but I'd heard, like, comedians wanking on her about. About her in the past. Oh, she's. She's the best. She's. So I'd always, like, logged it in the back there. And the name intrigued me. And then when I saw the name of the. [00:42:42] Speaker A: Why did the Name Intrigue you, Ms. Pat? [00:42:45] Speaker B: Because. [00:42:45] Speaker C: No, the Name of the special. [00:42:47] Speaker B: Name her name. [00:42:48] Speaker C: Okay. [00:42:49] Speaker A: What is it about Ms. Pat? [00:42:51] Speaker B: It's just such a weird. It is stage name. [00:42:54] Speaker A: Yeah. Ms. Pat. [00:42:55] Speaker B: Yeah. It's not like a single. [00:42:59] Speaker A: What is it? Miz or Ms. Ms. Ms. Miss. [00:43:05] Speaker C: Period. Yeah. [00:43:05] Speaker A: Ms. Because there's Miz. [00:43:07] Speaker C: Right. [00:43:08] Speaker A: M is almost like MZ. Yeah, that's Ms. Yeah. Mrs. And then Ms. [00:43:13] Speaker C: Yes. [00:43:14] Speaker A: Now if you're a Ms. You're a young lady. Right. Not. [00:43:17] Speaker B: Not. [00:43:18] Speaker C: Yeah, right. [00:43:18] Speaker A: You would call a 16 year old girl a miss. [00:43:20] Speaker C: A miss. Yeah. [00:43:22] Speaker A: And then a miss would be an unmarried older gal. Is that correct? [00:43:27] Speaker C: I don't even know if it has to be older. I think unmarried. Any age of marriage. Age. [00:43:37] Speaker A: Oh, you a young one. [00:43:38] Speaker C: But you don't want to be. [00:43:39] Speaker A: But it makes you a Miss. [00:43:40] Speaker C: Classically, you don't want to be an older miss. [00:43:42] Speaker A: You don't want to be an elder miss. [00:43:44] Speaker C: No, that's culturally. [00:43:46] Speaker B: That's the lame. Is so. [00:43:48] Speaker A: Okay, so I don't want to derail the Miz Pat stuff, but okay. [00:43:52] Speaker B: And then the name of the special. You'll want to hear something crazy. It was just. [00:43:56] Speaker C: That was the good to pass. [00:43:57] Speaker A: Do you like that name of the special? You want to hear something crazy? [00:43:59] Speaker B: She only says it once. [00:44:00] Speaker C: She only says it one time. [00:44:01] Speaker B: Yeah, I wanted her to say it everything repeatedly. [00:44:05] Speaker A: You want to hear something crazy? [00:44:07] Speaker B: Yeah. And then just do a bit and then say another one. [00:44:11] Speaker A: All right. So you'd heard people talking about her. You had done a little research. You did the research before the special or after? [00:44:16] Speaker B: He said I did it just prior to watching it. [00:44:19] Speaker A: Oh, just prior to watching it. But. But after choosing the special. [00:44:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:24] Speaker A: And the name of her and the special intrigued you. Okay. So that was it. [00:44:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:29] Speaker A: Also, you want to satisfy your diversity, equity and inclusion mandate. That is a big part of that. [00:44:34] Speaker B: I have to bring that to this podcast. [00:44:36] Speaker C: Yes, yes, we saw the charts. [00:44:39] Speaker A: Yes, we did. We went through the figures last week. [00:44:42] Speaker C: Speaking of which, later on that day, there was another podcast in here. And when I came back in to let them out, the chart was sitting front and center right here. [00:44:50] Speaker A: Oh, no, they saw the figures. [00:44:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:44:52] Speaker A: My name, actually. [00:44:53] Speaker B: Luckily I use letters. [00:44:55] Speaker C: Yeah, right. I know. [00:44:56] Speaker B: You could have soft shoes, shuffled. [00:44:58] Speaker C: Well, they figured out who I was. At least [00:45:04] Speaker A: I figured that out. Yeah. [00:45:05] Speaker B: But luckily I. I'd done the sections just as initials. So you couldn't really infer anything from it. I mean, you could if you were. [00:45:14] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:15] Speaker B: You know. [00:45:16] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:45:17] Speaker A: Let's not leave those papers lying around. [00:45:19] Speaker C: All right. I think this is it. [00:45:21] Speaker A: Is that it right there? [00:45:21] Speaker C: Yeah, here it is. [00:45:22] Speaker A: Put that in the drawer. [00:45:23] Speaker C: Yeah. Maybe we'll hide this. [00:45:25] Speaker B: I'm big on leaving incriminating. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. One time. So when you run. When you run a. A venue, you're always getting threatening letters from, like, the city of Chicago, and it don't mean anything. Like, I. We get letters. We used to get letters from the irs. And I'd be bricks. I immediately on the. [00:45:48] Speaker A: Anytime you see the IRS thing in the mail, you're like, oh, we're in trouble. [00:45:51] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. And so I would immediately photocopy scan it, send it to the account. Like, what do we do? What do we do? And our accountant is so flippant. She's like, yeah, yeah, we'll. We'll tell them that we're gonna pay that, you know, shortly. And I'm sitting there like, oh, my God, the stormtroopers are coming in. They're gonna shut it down. [00:46:10] Speaker A: Because we've been conditioned that way about the irs. They're coming to get us eventually. [00:46:14] Speaker B: And actually, they're not that. You have to really, really push the IRS to actually have them go after you. They are. It's kind of like mortgage companies. I don't want to say it's a myth, because I'll probably get in trouble with it. The last thing the mortgage company wants to do is have to go through the whole hassle of kicking, foreclosing on your. And blah, blah, blah. They want you to just pay the goddamn bill. Right. And the IRS is the same. They don't want to be dragging your ass into court. And this. Just pay the. You know, or just tell us what it's going to be. And so I never realized that. I mean, I sort of realize it now, but it's still that. That panic thing, right? [00:46:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:00] Speaker B: And so we get letters from the city of Chicago as well, like, hey, you're late with this. Pay it, or we'll shut you down, and blah, blah, blah, and you just pay it and move on. But I. I have this habit, if something's. If I get a letter from something and it's blank on the back, I'm using that to print stuff. [00:47:21] Speaker A: Okay. [00:47:21] Speaker B: So I never buy new printer paper. I just. Any letter in. Coming to my house, if it's blank on the back, it's going in the hopper as something I'll use. [00:47:29] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:47:30] Speaker B: So one time I. I got one of these threatening letters from Chicago City pay as. I will show you there. [00:47:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:47:37] Speaker B: And I just put it in the hopper. Then one time I printed the door list for the Lincoln log on a Friday night. On the other side of it. [00:47:44] Speaker C: Right. [00:47:46] Speaker B: Left it on the podium, you know, checking in. I come back and Kyle is sitting at the podium, white as a cheat. [00:47:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:47:53] Speaker A: Like somebody flipped the sheet over because. [00:47:55] Speaker B: Yeah, because you flipped it over and started reading it and thought he's gonna lose his job by the week because [00:48:01] Speaker A: like this you're closing you down or something. I'm like, dude, check the, like an eviction letter. [00:48:05] Speaker B: Check the date on the letter. It's like 2021. Yeah. Then. And I was like, yeah, probably shouldn't be using these. [00:48:14] Speaker A: All I can think about is that you, you open a piece of mail right at home. It's something and it's folded, a trifold, whatever. And it's got a blank space. It's blank on the back. And then you take that to a different room and you lay that on a pile of paper that you're used to print with. That is frugality good idea. [00:48:32] Speaker C: It is. I never thought of that. [00:48:33] Speaker B: You know, last time I bought printer paper. [00:48:35] Speaker A: Jesus. [00:48:36] Speaker B: 2017, man. [00:48:41] Speaker C: That's a good one. [00:48:41] Speaker A: That is really reusing recycling. Really taking that, you know. [00:48:45] Speaker B: Yep. [00:48:46] Speaker A: To heart. [00:48:47] Speaker C: Yeah. I mean, like, why not? What are you turning in papers, you know, to a professor. [00:48:53] Speaker B: Every time when we used to do, people used to do like read throughs and here. And they'll leave their script. Guaranteed it's printed on really nice paper. Yeah, right one sided. Yeah, that right half an inch thick. That's going in the hopper. [00:49:09] Speaker C: When you get, when you get one of those pages that say this page intentionally left blank. Do you use that side too and just hope that wherever it says that that part's not that important. [00:49:19] Speaker B: Oh. I don't generally go for them because I know it's going to be in the middle of something. I do lose the ones with a little QR codes that you get. Now what I don't reuse is occasionally a. I do have a. I've had the same ream of regular paper for about 10 years. [00:49:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:43] Speaker B: And occasionally an agent will want us to like, will want us to print and sign a thing. And I always, I'm very careful. I don't want to bring someone's contract here. [00:49:55] Speaker C: Yeah, right. [00:49:56] Speaker B: Comedian's gonna see it. [00:49:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:58] Speaker B: And then the next thing it's all, [00:49:59] Speaker A: you know, what they make and everything. [00:50:01] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:50:03] Speaker A: Gotta be careful with that. [00:50:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:06] Speaker B: I'm not doing very well trying to keep us to an hour. [00:50:08] Speaker A: No, you're not. [00:50:09] Speaker C: That doesn't Relate a lot to Ms. Pat. [00:50:11] Speaker A: Yeah. What does the. Does this have to do with Ms. Pat? [00:50:13] Speaker B: You led me down. [00:50:14] Speaker A: Yeah, I didn't. [00:50:14] Speaker C: It's your fault. Yeah. [00:50:16] Speaker A: Let's. Let's go quick, because I really gotta pee. What I was gonna say is I [00:50:20] Speaker C: want to get high off your hemp cigarettes. [00:50:21] Speaker A: We're going to. Well, you're not gonna get high. [00:50:24] Speaker C: You're just gonna feel relaxation and your [00:50:25] Speaker A: back is gonna feel loose. [00:50:28] Speaker C: You'll see. I'll find a way. Bill. [00:50:30] Speaker A: I. I'm going to bring in a Texas catheter. Okay. I'm gonna have it attached to my penis. [00:50:35] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:36] Speaker A: It is gonna run through a tube and into a bag that's gonna be wrapped around my ankle in my boot. And I'm going to. During this episode, during the show, I'm going to urinate in it into that tube, and I'm going to tell you what's happening. [00:50:51] Speaker C: I'm going to. [00:50:52] Speaker A: You're going to watch me urinating into a bag attached to my boot. [00:50:58] Speaker B: Be like, working. [00:50:58] Speaker A: It's going to be riveting like a. [00:51:00] Speaker B: Working in a care home for old people, and they're emptying their bloody colostomies. [00:51:05] Speaker A: I wonder if I'll be able to. Because I once wore to a little league game and I was sitting next to some parents and I had it on. This is during COVID when there were no bathrooms. And as I started to, like, go, I felt like, really, like I was, like, exposed. [00:51:19] Speaker C: Yeah. Right. [00:51:19] Speaker A: Like, if I started to urinate right now in front of you, making. While making eye contact, it'd be very intimate. It would be hard to do, so. [00:51:28] Speaker C: Well. [00:51:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I could actually do it. [00:51:30] Speaker C: It's kind of like. You ever been at the. At the beach and you're kind of throwing a Frisbee with people and then [00:51:34] Speaker A: you start peeing in the water. [00:51:35] Speaker C: You start peeing in the water. But you can. Maintaining your conversation. Doing. Doing everything. And they don't know, you know. Yeah, it is. It's. [00:51:42] Speaker A: It's like that. But this is a whole different level. [00:51:44] Speaker C: You're in a room because you can. Your body. Yeah. [00:51:47] Speaker A: And. And you're urinating. [00:51:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:49] Speaker A: Like urinating your pants. [00:51:51] Speaker B: It's a control thing, isn't it? It's like that with Louis CK Jacking off in front of people. It's. It's about. [00:51:58] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, Maybe. Yeah. [00:52:00] Speaker B: That it's similar. [00:52:01] Speaker A: I'm. Are you insinuating that I'm getting off by this? [00:52:04] Speaker B: I don't think you're going to get a stiffy no, but mentally in your brain, you're thinking, something wrong. Subjugating these people. [00:52:13] Speaker A: Yes. [00:52:14] Speaker B: Doing this. [00:52:14] Speaker A: Yes. [00:52:16] Speaker B: So why did Louis CK Want to jerk off in front of. He could have paid a prostitute to do that. But no, he wanted to subjugate these people. [00:52:25] Speaker A: Yes. I feel like we just watched a comedian that talked about that. [00:52:31] Speaker C: The. The peeing thing in public. Oh, oh, oh, you mean the Louis CK thing. [00:52:35] Speaker A: No. [00:52:35] Speaker C: Yeah, that was. We did. It was. What's his name? [00:52:38] Speaker B: Yeah, it's Pat Oswalt. [00:52:39] Speaker A: Last week, what he talked about. Yeah. What did he talk about? Like, beating off in front of people. [00:52:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:52:44] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:52:46] Speaker B: Anyway, come on, Ms. Pat. Ms. Pat filmed in Atlanta. [00:52:51] Speaker A: Yep. During COVID It appears everyone was masked. You didn't notice that? [00:52:55] Speaker B: I saw one person. [00:52:57] Speaker A: A lot of people were masked, huh? [00:52:59] Speaker C: Yeah, I did notice that. [00:53:01] Speaker A: Hometown hero. She's in Atlanta, born and raised. [00:53:07] Speaker B: Now, I rarely have trouble understanding what people are saying, but there was parts where. [00:53:12] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:53:12] Speaker A: You couldn't understand her words. Some of it because it was in a thick African American dialect. [00:53:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:53:20] Speaker A: Or because of the sound quality. [00:53:22] Speaker B: Because of dialect. Because of slang. [00:53:25] Speaker A: Okay, well, you guys. That's because you guys aren't out in the community, like, around African Americans, so your ear is not attuned to them. [00:53:34] Speaker C: Oh, is that. Is that the case? [00:53:35] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:53:35] Speaker C: Is that really? [00:53:36] Speaker B: I'm British, and I've had American culture rammed down my throat my entire life. [00:53:42] Speaker C: I work at a comedy club. [00:53:43] Speaker B: Yeah. This. [00:53:44] Speaker A: A white one was thick. I had no trouble with it. I could hear quite naturally. Yeah. [00:53:53] Speaker C: Well, if you have the captions on. Really? [00:53:55] Speaker A: Well, that might be why. Yeah, yeah, I did. I was. I'm always reading the captions before I'm listening. So maybe that was it. [00:54:01] Speaker B: Oh, there was some references like, I'm raising crack bear babies. And I was like, wait, so she's got babies that are literally on crack? Or. And then obviously the penny dropped as she went through the bit. I'm like, oh, okay. I get what she's saying. [00:54:17] Speaker A: Yeah. You weren't familiar with the term crack baby? [00:54:20] Speaker B: No. [00:54:21] Speaker A: Okay. Well, it's like British talk. [00:54:23] Speaker C: This is like, oh, yeah, American talk, [00:54:26] Speaker B: Black talk, Yank wank. [00:54:29] Speaker A: There's a great silent live bit. Years ago, Eddie Murphy and another guy, and it was like, British talk. This is where the idea for British talk came from. For me, it was just Eddie Murphy and another young black guy sitting in two chairs, and it was like a talk show this week on Black Talk. And then they'd cut to him and they're just talking about nothing. Like, just Random shit like. [00:54:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:50] Speaker A: Went over CJ's house the other night. What does. CJ said? That's all they. All they say. And then it, like, zooms out. It's like, next week on Black Talk. Yeah. I don't know why I'm talking about that. Why? Where did that come. [00:55:01] Speaker B: Yeah, because it wasn't funny. [00:55:04] Speaker A: I had a reason for talking about [00:55:06] Speaker B: it because it was. We were talking about the. The part of. The challenge of Ms. Pat is cutting through the slang and. [00:55:16] Speaker A: Yeah. And you just like, we're not used to British talk. You're not used to black talk because you live in a very white world. Anyway, keep going. [00:55:29] Speaker C: Keep talking about your catheter. [00:55:31] Speaker B: The first part of this. The first part of this, I was. I was. To be honest, I was starting to regret the decision. [00:55:39] Speaker C: Really. [00:55:39] Speaker B: I deliberately picked this. Why did you pick this specifically to annoy you. [00:55:45] Speaker A: Why would. [00:55:45] Speaker B: And now it's annoying me more than it's annoying you. [00:55:49] Speaker A: Why would you think it would annoy me? [00:55:50] Speaker B: Backfire. A. Well, female. [00:55:54] Speaker C: We know how you feel. [00:55:55] Speaker B: Yeah. A female comedian. [00:55:57] Speaker A: Not true. [00:55:58] Speaker B: So, you know, I'm. [00:56:00] Speaker A: Now I'm thinking you're saying I don't like black people as well. Is that. We're trying to. [00:56:03] Speaker B: No, I would never infer that. What I'm saying is I picked it specifically to annoy you, and now it's annoying me. And I'm sitting there going, I bet Bill is liking this more than I am. This whole thing is backfired massively. Then she starts going, black people, white people. Black people, white people. And I'm like, okay, this has really gone tits up now. Yeah. But then she got into the. The working class stuff, and I'm like, okay, I can. I can. I can relate. Now you're talking about class. Working class stuff. [00:56:41] Speaker A: Cooking in the chimney and all that. [00:56:42] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, that. [00:56:43] Speaker A: You like that. [00:56:44] Speaker B: That. That was the turning point. [00:56:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:56:48] Speaker B: And then, you know, she's got, like. She's talking about the whole thing. You know, essentially being raped at 13 and 14 and having two kids and By Uncle Cecil. [00:57:01] Speaker C: No, that was a different story. [00:57:02] Speaker B: Uncle Cecil was that. That was the. Can we say the word? Because she's. It has. She enabled us to say the R word? [00:57:10] Speaker A: You want to hear me say it? But go right ahead. Go right ahead. [00:57:14] Speaker B: So Ms. Pat talked a while about what Ms. Pat referred to as her retarded uncle. [00:57:29] Speaker A: Uncle Cecil. [00:57:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:31] Speaker A: Whose penis she was exposed to. [00:57:33] Speaker B: Yeah. And that story that was on top of a prostitute. I don't believe that that story was off the chain. [00:57:39] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:57:42] Speaker A: And it seemed like as the show went on, it. It devolved more and more dark, dark, dark. Right. In. In a way that like, you couldn't even imagine it getting more dark. And it did. And so I couldn't help but thinking about Steph Tolev, who is also peddled in filth. [00:58:01] Speaker C: Right. [00:58:02] Speaker A: And she's not just pedaling in filthy. Right. [00:58:05] Speaker B: Ms. Pat, it's different between filth and dark. [00:58:07] Speaker A: Yeah. Hers is more dark. Like, I come from a. I came from a bad upbringing. [00:58:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:58:13] Speaker A: Right. Like. And she's finding humor in that. But Steph Tolev was more just like, how. How can I shock you with more filthy sex talk? [00:58:20] Speaker C: Right. [00:58:21] Speaker A: This was actually seemed autobiographical. [00:58:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:58:25] Speaker A: Right. And from a real place, not just for shock value. [00:58:30] Speaker B: You. [00:58:31] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. So it was heavy. [00:58:33] Speaker C: It was. [00:58:33] Speaker A: In a way. [00:58:34] Speaker C: Yeah. There were parts. Yep. [00:58:35] Speaker A: And it. And to your point, like, it's. You didn't like. I didn't like it at first either because she comes right out with the crack baby talk. Right. And how she's raising her. Her nieces, I think children and their crack babies. Like, that's a. In, you know, that's a really heavy, like, loaded idea of children exposed to crack at birth and how there's a lot of issues with a mansplaining crack babies. But like, I don't like hearing that. Like, I don't like. I don't want to. I don't make fun of crack babies, you know, but as it goes on, like, it becomes more real and less shock. Right. And that's when I did start to like it a lot. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm glad it did backfire on you liking Ms. Pat. But yeah, it was. It was heavy. The shoes. Yeah. Comes out. I feel like we were left behind a curtain here, you know, it was like Elephant Man. [00:59:31] Speaker B: Well, the. The Uncle Cecil thing was. But I'd read it. I read her wiki. [00:59:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:59:37] Speaker B: So I knew the thing about to expect about the two kids and blah, blah, blah. [00:59:42] Speaker A: Yeah. What was that about the two kids? [00:59:45] Speaker B: Well, she had a kid at age 13 with a 21 year old, which technically rape, obviously. And then she had another kid about 15 or 14. Then she was arrested for dealing crack. When she was. [01:00:00] Speaker A: She talked about this in the special. [01:00:03] Speaker B: Yeah. She says, I'm a criminal. I can't hear. [01:00:05] Speaker C: Convicted felon. Yeah. [01:00:08] Speaker B: So she was arrested. [01:00:08] Speaker A: I remember saying she had a kid at 13. [01:00:10] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, she did. [01:00:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:00:12] Speaker B: It was the whole story where the. The. [01:00:14] Speaker C: The wife showed up. [01:00:15] Speaker B: The wife showed up and said, you're Out. You're screwing my husband. And she said, hey, I'm five months pregnant with his kid. [01:00:23] Speaker A: Was this towards the end? [01:00:25] Speaker B: I'm glad I'm the one that couldn't understand what she was saying. [01:00:28] Speaker A: I understood what she was saying. I just. I went into a nod at 1. [01:00:32] Speaker B: This is early on. I want to say. This is midpoint. [01:00:34] Speaker C: I think it was about. Yeah, I'm halfway through. [01:00:37] Speaker A: I must have. Must have drifted out, Ms. Pat. I was putzing around the kitchen. I was making a fake chicken sandwich. Fries. [01:00:46] Speaker C: I was locked in. I saved. I saved this one for. I had Monday off, and my girlfriend came over. I made dinner, and I said, let's watch the. Ms. Pat. I'm not joking. I said, let's watch. I said, well, I specifically said, I want to watch this one with you because I think, like, this has to be. I don't know what to expect, and this has to be. I need somebody else there because it's gonna. It's gonna magnify it. You know, it's gonna. It's gonna boost it. And it did. It really helped it, because I knew if I watched this by myself, I might enjoy it, but I wouldn't get the same out of it as if you get to sit next to somebody, look at their face and go, like, what do you think? You know? [01:01:22] Speaker A: And compare. [01:01:23] Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, big hit. [01:01:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. [01:01:26] Speaker C: Yeah, it was. [01:01:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. Did it lead to anything amorous after this? [01:01:30] Speaker C: We already did our sex story for the day. [01:01:32] Speaker A: We did? [01:01:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:01:33] Speaker A: I was trying to tee one up for you. Then we'd have met that requirement. [01:01:37] Speaker B: Do you know sex, softball? [01:01:40] Speaker A: Where did you watch, Ms. Pat? Where and how and when? [01:01:44] Speaker B: With the Mrs. On the couch. Yesterday. No, I kept the Mrs. Way out of it. [01:01:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:01:49] Speaker B: I even hit pause when she walked back in. I said, oh, just got 10 minutes of this to finish. Go out and do gardening. [01:01:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I watched it last night alone, and I was rather tired, but I made it to the end, but I drifted out a little bit. [01:02:06] Speaker B: Ms. P, did it take you back to the 90s where it was like. It was music. Music, intro, outro. Do you remember how important that was in the 90s? [01:02:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:02:16] Speaker B: Gotta get my intro music. [01:02:18] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The whole thing. [01:02:20] Speaker B: Throwback. [01:02:21] Speaker A: The whole thing was kind of throwback because she's my age. She's 49, I think she says, yeah, I'm 50. So we grew up in the same cultural town, like her talking about the Smurfs and stuff and Burger King. [01:02:31] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:02:33] Speaker A: Yeah. There's a lot of References in here that I could appreciate. [01:02:37] Speaker B: And directed by. [01:02:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Robert Townsend. Surprised to see him associated with something this dark and filthy? [01:02:45] Speaker B: I assume it's the same guy. [01:02:47] Speaker C: What does he normally do? [01:02:48] Speaker A: Gotta be. [01:02:48] Speaker C: He. [01:02:49] Speaker A: Well, he. He plays the dad of Sidney on. On the Bear right now, but he's of Robert Townsend's Hollywood shuffle from the 80s. [01:03:01] Speaker C: Okay. [01:03:02] Speaker A: I think he was a part of. Or he did that too. [01:03:04] Speaker B: The first time I saw Townsend, they were interviewing him on British TV about Hollywood Shuffle. And the big thing was that he'd financed it with credit cards. So he's talking about. Yeah, every time we ran out of money, I just applied for a new credit card. And obviously the host is like, holy. [01:03:21] Speaker C: You know what I mean? [01:03:22] Speaker B: But no one in England had a clue who he was or whatever. [01:03:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:03:27] Speaker B: I'm like, why is he even being interviewed by Jonathan Ross, for Christ's sake? But I think Jonathan Ross is a big movie buff, so he knew of him. Yeah, but I always remember that interview with him saying, yeah, every time we ran out of money, I just get another credit card. And. And then. So then when Hollywood Shuffle came out, I did watch it because I was interested in this guy. [01:03:49] Speaker A: Yeah. And then he kind of disappeared and really didn't do much in the 2000s. [01:03:54] Speaker B: He was always kind of nerdy. Black guy was. He was really, like, foul mouth, like Eddie Murphy and cool. Like. He was just kind of like a nerdy guy. Yeah. I feel. [01:04:05] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. No, he wasn't like. That's why I was surpri. Kind of surprising to see him producing this, because this is pretty. [01:04:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:04:13] Speaker A: Pretty rough. Also, Wanda Sykes. You saw her name? [01:04:16] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah. [01:04:17] Speaker A: He's a producer here. [01:04:18] Speaker C: Yeah. I didn't. I didn't notice her name, but then they had the little. I don't know, what do they call it? Not a logo, but it's like an animated logo of her. Yeah, Right at the end. And it was her. Yeah. And they had her voice. And I looked up, I said, was that Wanda Sykes? [01:04:31] Speaker B: Is that it for comedy now? You just. It's just all passing the crown. [01:04:36] Speaker A: It seems like it, because we always pay attention to the producer specials. It's always another comedian producing the comedian. Right. [01:04:42] Speaker B: Bill Burr's walking around knighting people. [01:04:47] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:04:47] Speaker B: Is that how it's gonna be? [01:04:49] Speaker A: I guess. I guess so. All right. Well, we, you know, we talked a little bit about her act and how autobiographical it is. And Dark. I love what she says at the end. Right. When I woke back up and saw her signing off, and she says, like, no matter how I hope what you took from this show is that no matter how hard life is or how bad life is, you can always laugh and make. Make fun of it or, you know, that gives you control. [01:05:20] Speaker C: Right, Right. [01:05:22] Speaker A: I think that was a good, I don't know, kind of. What do you call it? [01:05:27] Speaker C: Sign off. [01:05:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Message, a rejoinder, whatever you, whatever you call that, like, caveat. Like, this is rough and all the things I talk about are here are true and awful. But, like, we have to laugh in life, right. And you have to laugh at this stuff or otherwise it'll fucking destroy you. Yeah, I like that. [01:05:46] Speaker B: I don't like that. You have to laugh about it, though. [01:05:49] Speaker A: No. You'd rather her just say goodnight? [01:05:51] Speaker B: No, no, I think you have to say you have to try and find a way to prevent it happening again. Because to laugh about it is almost to say, yes, just the way it is. We're not going to fix it. [01:06:04] Speaker A: Yeah, you can laugh at her. [01:06:07] Speaker B: Laugh about if it happened to you because that's your way through it. I think a more positive message is we have to prevent this. [01:06:17] Speaker A: Sandler did something similar. Remember when we watched Sandler's newer special and he did it in the show, the live show that I saw recently where he, you know, like he, he does a song about. It's. There's always the comedy, right. Like when people die and life is awful and going through the worst shit, there's always the comedy. I think that kind of what she's saying here. Right. And she uses the word control, so that makes me think more about what you're saying. Like she, you know, you get control over this awful shit if you can look at it and laugh. [01:06:50] Speaker C: Can it be both? You know, she, she did say. She did only. She said only laughing. But can it be that. She doesn't have to explain the entire message could be laugh and yeah, obviously fix it to do something about it. But in the meantime. [01:07:06] Speaker B: Yeah, that's too clunky. [01:07:08] Speaker C: It is. [01:07:08] Speaker B: I'm not dissing the message. You gotta laugh about it. What I'm saying is eventually you have to stop laughing about. [01:07:15] Speaker C: Right. [01:07:15] Speaker B: And starting it. [01:07:17] Speaker C: Yeah, for sure. [01:07:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I think. But I think it also, like, it shows that if we went back and looked at all these comedians, maybe their lives weren't as bad as hers or as rough as hers. But like all comedy, most comedy is coming from a painful place. Right. We're using it as the antidote to that pain in some way. [01:07:38] Speaker B: I wasn't. I was trying to be wittier and Clever. [01:07:40] Speaker A: You're just trying to be witty. [01:07:41] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [01:07:42] Speaker A: No pain to speak of, you know, not healing yourself with laughter. [01:07:47] Speaker C: His knee hadn't started acting up yet. [01:07:48] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. It was before. Yeah. Some of your recent. [01:07:51] Speaker B: I should do it. I should write a comedy special, which is an hour of me talking about how my knee. [01:07:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:07:58] Speaker B: Just one hour. Yeah. Oh, there's a challenge. [01:08:04] Speaker A: That would be a challenge. That's where we're headed, I think, in terms of comedy. [01:08:09] Speaker C: You could call it Mark Tries stand up, but you could do a little. The carrot thing with the. Mark tries to stand up. You know, you write it in after a nice hacky sign like that. [01:08:18] Speaker A: Figured it out. I couldn't think of it. Yeah, I'd like to see that. Can we book that here? [01:08:24] Speaker B: Yep. Give me three months, I'll have it ready. [01:08:28] Speaker A: I would. I would actually love it. Like 30 minutes in your knee. [01:08:32] Speaker C: It's like, jeez, early September. You heard it here first. Mark Gary tries to stand up. [01:08:39] Speaker A: Well, all right. What do we think about Pat? I. We. What I was trying to say is we talked about her act and then definitely things. But, like, do we like Ms. Pat? Would we recommend Ms. Pat? [01:08:54] Speaker C: Yeah. I can tell you I was in a similar boat to the both of you. It sounds like I started out as, like, oh, I don't know if this is gonna be what I was hoping and expecting it to be. And the expectations I had were purely made out of nothing. You know, I had no idea what to expect, but I did have expectations, expectations. And at first I thought, oh, no, this is going to be a bummer, you know, and then this is going [01:09:18] Speaker A: to be a bummer. [01:09:19] Speaker C: This is going to be bad. But it did. It turned around for me, too. I really enjoyed it. My thought was, but then it would lose me for a little while and then it would get me back, and then lose me and get me back. And it made me think of something that we talk about often, which is everybody's got to have their hour. Right. You know where this was an hour. Ish long, Right? Yeah. But this. This could have been half an hour. It could have been half an hour of gold. [01:09:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:09:43] Speaker C: Rather than the ups and downs, you know, So I think it's a good example of that, of when it could just be a really good half hour rather than an hour of hit or miss. And she even says at one point she turned to somebody off the stage and said, hey, can you spread some of that laughter this way towards the, like, three quarter of the way through the show? You Know, because I think people there were also in the same boat of like kind of falling out of it, you know, coming back, Falling out, coming back. [01:10:07] Speaker A: Well, I think as she delved darker, I think the laughter became more roiling. Is that the right word? It was rolling. [01:10:17] Speaker C: Rolling. [01:10:18] Speaker A: And it seemed like she was really getting them in the gut as it went on. She got darker and darker, but I didn't necessarily feel that way. I think I felt more like you. But I think her audience was loving it more as it went on. All right, well, would we have a rating scale for her? We went at how many asses and backs. [01:10:40] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I love that. She did. I did get a lot of. Out loud laughs. I. I do want to say did enjoy it. [01:10:47] Speaker B: What's a chicken back anyway? [01:10:49] Speaker C: Yeah, I think. I think that's the wild part about it. I don't think they. I don't think there is such thing as. I don't think you get me off of it. Yeah. I think that's why it's so funny [01:10:56] Speaker B: because I was thinking when she said, I get what the implication was. We just get the shitty bits. [01:11:01] Speaker C: Right? Right. [01:11:02] Speaker B: And I started thinking, what are the shitty bits of chicken feet? [01:11:06] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [01:11:07] Speaker A: No, you don't eat chicken feet. Yeah. [01:11:09] Speaker B: Chinatown, the foot. Heather sat and watched someone. Heather, eat the foot. [01:11:13] Speaker C: I've had it. [01:11:14] Speaker B: Heather took a trip, took a load of old ladies to Chinatown last week and one of them ordered the chicken. [01:11:20] Speaker C: I did not. I got it once. I didn't enjoy it. [01:11:23] Speaker A: God, it'd be like. [01:11:24] Speaker C: It's. It's soggy and gross. [01:11:26] Speaker B: Yeah, you'd think it'd be. Anyway. [01:11:28] Speaker C: Yeah, I thought it'd be. Yeah. Super stringy and like. [01:11:30] Speaker B: Yeah, very, like full of tendons. [01:11:32] Speaker C: Fibrous. Yeah. But yeah, the five out of five asses are backs. Is that what we're doing? [01:11:39] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:11:39] Speaker B: Yep. [01:11:40] Speaker C: Ass and backs. [01:11:42] Speaker A: You could do crack babies, but that seems. [01:11:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:11:44] Speaker A: Poor taste. [01:11:45] Speaker B: I didn't know you would like that. So. [01:11:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Or various other N word things. Like her. N word for the. For wheat bread. [01:11:56] Speaker B: Hmm. [01:11:57] Speaker C: You know, I don't remember that. [01:11:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Anyway. [01:12:01] Speaker A: Or you could do Uncle Cecil's. How many Uncle Cecils do you give it with his dry tip dick. That hit her in the face. [01:12:11] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Yeah. [01:12:12] Speaker A: Do you think? [01:12:12] Speaker C: I wonder if that really happened, Uncle Cecil. [01:12:15] Speaker A: And they put her. They propped him up onto a prostitute. He's crippled and mentally disabled. [01:12:21] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:12:22] Speaker A: I mean, that gets pretty rough, right? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Uncle Cecil. Let's do Uncle Cecil. [01:12:29] Speaker C: Yeah. Okay. [01:12:30] Speaker A: How many Uncle Cecil's out of five. [01:12:32] Speaker B: Can I call him Cecil? [01:12:33] Speaker A: Yeah. No, Cecil. Whatever she said. Did she say Cecil or Cecil? Cecil. I don't know. Maybe she did say Cecil. [01:12:40] Speaker C: Well, the. The parts that I didn't enjoy, I. It's not like that. I did. I really didn't enjoy them. The parts I did enjoy, I was pleasantly surprised. And that this different kind of humor worked the way that it did. I would recommend her. I would definitely explain while recommending her to people of what they're about to see, but not too much that they. I give it three and a half Cecils out of five. [01:13:05] Speaker A: Three and a half Cecil out of five. Wow. Okay. Ah, geez. Ms. Pat. I like Ms. Pat. I. I like her act. It feel. It felt for me a little Ari Shafirish as well. Like, it is so tailored for the poor black community. [01:13:27] Speaker C: Right. [01:13:28] Speaker A: That, like, I feel like I'm an outsider looking in here, and the jokes, you know, aren't meant for me. [01:13:37] Speaker C: Yeah, for sure. [01:13:38] Speaker A: Like, maybe I'm not even supposed to enjoy it. Right. She doesn't want me to enjoy her special. [01:13:45] Speaker B: I'm guessing she's not bothered whether you do or. [01:13:47] Speaker A: She's not bothered whether I do or not. And I think we've talked about over the past couple episodes how we're kind of looking for a comedian to bring us all together. [01:13:55] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:13:55] Speaker A: Right through there. Through their unique lens of looking at life, but also connecting everybody together. So for that, I'm gonna give her two and a half Cecils. I think I love how emotionally raw the material is. I think that's great. Like, pull it, you know, Making people listen to this and. And hear life's darkest moments. Bring that shit in there. [01:14:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:14:23] Speaker A: I don't find that necessarily funny all the time, you know? [01:14:29] Speaker C: Yeah. I want to. I want to pull mine back a little bit. After I said three and a half, I realized it's only one and a half away from perfection. And that's a little. That's a little too close to the sun. I'm gonna pull it down a half to three. [01:14:42] Speaker A: Three Cecil. [01:14:42] Speaker C: Yeah, three Cecils. [01:14:44] Speaker A: Three Cecils. [01:14:45] Speaker B: And I'm at two and a half. [01:14:46] Speaker A: You're a two and a half Cecil. We see eye to eye on this. It's for the same reasons. Or different reasons? [01:14:52] Speaker B: Probably the same reasons. It's just this, you know, the materials there. But it wasn't presented in a way that I think it should be. [01:15:01] Speaker A: What about her craftsmanship in terms of. [01:15:03] Speaker B: That's what I mean. She didn't. [01:15:05] Speaker A: How she delivers. [01:15:07] Speaker B: She didn't crass. She had like a Hannah Gadsby type subject matter here. [01:15:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:15:14] Speaker B: And I think she could have knocked it out of the park if she hadn't of swathed it in making it hard to understand and swearing and blah, blah, blah. [01:15:27] Speaker A: But in terms of her, you know, her. The technical aspects of her comedy. Right. Like how she would tell it, she would just stand one place, tell the joke. [01:15:37] Speaker B: She would drop the mic. [01:15:38] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:15:38] Speaker C: She kept doing her to her side. [01:15:39] Speaker A: And then she'd do this smile and just like. [01:15:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:15:42] Speaker A: This wry smile at the audience all the time. That kind of cuddled. [01:15:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:15:47] Speaker A: Became annoying. [01:15:48] Speaker B: Yep. [01:15:49] Speaker A: Took away from it some. Before we finish up here, I didn't get the joke when she said she had a fat vagina or something. That there was something in her pants. [01:16:01] Speaker C: Yeah, right. Everybody was losing their mind. [01:16:03] Speaker A: They went crazy over the joke. [01:16:04] Speaker C: I didn't understand about the actual shirt she was wearing. I think she kind of like went off the path a little bit. You know, she. I didn't get it either. At first. I'm like, what am I missing here? [01:16:12] Speaker A: And then she said something about having a rubber penis. Her pants. [01:16:14] Speaker C: Yeah. I think because she was wearing that shirt that kind of like dangled down between her legs. And finally, that's all I could figure. I was like, oh, she must be talking about her shirt. And this is just kind of like a what am I wearing right now? Sort of like, deal. [01:16:25] Speaker B: I tried to follow everything. I had to process everything. At that point, I'd given up and be like, if some. If I don't get something, I'm just sliding by. [01:16:34] Speaker C: Yeah. Which is. [01:16:35] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, maybe that's why I gave her two and a half cecils. [01:16:39] Speaker B: Yep. [01:16:40] Speaker A: All right, Ms. Pat, thank you for your work, your career, your hardsh and laying it all out there. [01:16:47] Speaker B: And for raising kids and for raising [01:16:50] Speaker A: kids that are not your own. Right. That's a noble. A noble endeavor. And next week, we are going to be Christian watching the comedic stylings of. [01:17:04] Speaker C: We will be watching Richard Pryor's 1979 special live in Concert. Concert. [01:17:10] Speaker A: Live in Concert. Not Live from the Sunset Strip. [01:17:14] Speaker C: No, actually, I think it's just called Richard Pryor in Concert. I don't think it's called Live in concert. [01:17:18] Speaker B: Brackets. 1979. [01:17:20] Speaker A: Yeah. Is this his first special? [01:17:24] Speaker C: No. [01:17:25] Speaker A: Okay. He's a megastar at this point. Yeah. 1979. I think he's been in. [01:17:28] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah, he's been. Yeah, he's already. He's been in film, on screen, in the news. [01:17:34] Speaker B: Has he already set his balls on fire. [01:17:37] Speaker C: I don't think. [01:17:38] Speaker A: No, I don't think so. [01:17:39] Speaker C: That was 80s on fire. Yeah. [01:17:41] Speaker A: Did he catch his hair on fire as well, or is that someone. That was Michael Jackson I know caught his hair. [01:17:45] Speaker C: Yeah. Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire because of a. What do they call it? [01:17:50] Speaker B: Flashbang? [01:17:51] Speaker A: Yeah, pyrotechnics. [01:17:52] Speaker C: Pyrotechnics, that's what I'm looking for. [01:17:54] Speaker A: But Richard Pryor was. His balls specifically. [01:17:58] Speaker B: I thought he talked about he caught on fire. [01:18:00] Speaker A: I kind of. [01:18:01] Speaker C: He catches on fire. [01:18:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:18:03] Speaker B: I always remember his balls getting mentioned. [01:18:05] Speaker A: Anyway, well, going to one of the classics next week. Always bringing us back to. To the greats. You always bringing us diversity. And what do I bring? [01:18:17] Speaker B: Straight white men. [01:18:19] Speaker A: Right on. And with that, we'll have an Asian sounding. Go.