Review: Standup For Drummers, Fred Armisen

[00:00:08] Speaker A: Dick Miller. He was Mr. Futterman in Gremlins. [00:00:12] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, Yeah. I do know. I didn't remember his name, but this [00:00:16] Speaker A: dude looked like Dick Miller and he'd, like, talk to me and I do not like to be talked to in the gym. Do not like it. [00:00:25] Speaker B: Or in anywhere. [00:00:26] Speaker C: Yeah, right. It's not gym. [00:00:28] Speaker B: Other places you like to be talked to. [00:00:30] Speaker A: It's overly familiar. And he gets chatting and he's. Of course he has the accent and it's all London. I'm like, this is never ending. But he told me he's got the accent. No, he. I've got the accent. He starts chitter chatting about it. [00:00:47] Speaker B: Sure. [00:00:49] Speaker A: Anyway, long story even longer. He tells me he works for Otis. Elevated all his life. Oh, I work for Otis, man and boy, you know. And then I look at his hands. He's not got one finger that's going in the right direction. [00:01:04] Speaker B: Really? [00:01:05] Speaker A: Swear to God, his hands from the elevator work. It must have been like just getting hit with every day. Like someone, you know, releases the wrong weight and, you know, another finger goes. Literally, his hands just were just like, whoa, boy. [00:01:25] Speaker B: Nice. [00:01:25] Speaker A: Yeah, he couldn't clap. If he tried to clap, he'd just get air. Not one finger meshed. [00:01:30] Speaker B: They're all like, clawed out, like. [00:01:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:33] Speaker B: Frozen hands. [00:01:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:34] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, that's a. [00:01:35] Speaker A: No, no, they weren't frozen. They were just at the wrong angle. [00:01:39] Speaker B: Yeah, there's a disease that makes that happen. Like crow. This guy, Johnny Dietz, he had small stone hands. Yeah, they're like. If you were to shake his hand, it's like, they're like. They don't move. They're like solid frozen. Some kind of disease. Yeah, but I imagine he didn't have the disease because he couldn't have worked on the elevators. [00:02:02] Speaker A: No, no, he was just getting hit all the time. Hey, that's a handy segue. Can I get into the first part of my agenda? [00:02:10] Speaker B: You go, yeah, we live. [00:02:11] Speaker C: Hey. Bad. Yeah, we're good. [00:02:13] Speaker A: Oh, empanada's out of the boot. [00:02:15] Speaker C: Yeah, empanada's out of the boot. Why is this? [00:02:17] Speaker A: So that guy had a frozen hand. One frozen. So I bought. You seriously, get any text? [00:02:25] Speaker B: No, I'm texting you guys. Nobody's texting me. But you obviously got mine because you saw me, my distress signal. [00:02:32] Speaker C: Yeah, right. And that's how I figured it out. [00:02:35] Speaker A: Sunday morning we went to Jewel and there was a guy. I had to have it. There's a guy with like a banged up old Nissan and he's got a sign Basically selling empanadas out the boot of his car. [00:02:47] Speaker B: Really? [00:02:48] Speaker A: In the dual car park. [00:02:49] Speaker B: Okay. Did you get him? [00:02:51] Speaker A: Gotto, yeah. [00:02:52] Speaker B: So I bet they're good. [00:02:53] Speaker A: I had to go to the bank and I'm just, I'm side eyeing like he was sort of parked. [00:02:57] Speaker B: He only took cash. [00:02:58] Speaker A: I only took cash. [00:03:00] Speaker B: No Venmo or anything like that? [00:03:02] Speaker A: Nah, him and his mates are there and they were all yabbering away in Spanish, you know, obviously giving each other shit. And they'd pulled up two old abandoned office chairs out of a skip or something, and I thought, these guys. No, these guys are going to love me. So I was sort of side glancing as I was at the atm, just, just trying to weigh. [00:03:25] Speaker C: Where was this? [00:03:26] Speaker A: Over by Jewel on Elston. [00:03:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:28] Speaker A: And so in the end you went [00:03:30] Speaker B: to the chase that's right there in the strip. [00:03:32] Speaker A: Exactly, yeah. So in the end I thought, or, boss, this is a, this is a once in a lifetime empanadas out of the boot of someone's car. I'm either gonna have diarrhea for three days or they're gonna taste amazing. Right. One of the two. [00:03:49] Speaker C: Worth finding a hoe for sure. [00:03:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:51] Speaker B: So worth the risk for sure. [00:03:55] Speaker C: Roll those dice. [00:03:56] Speaker A: But $6 an empanada, they're twice as big as the cafe toll. I thought six was a bit. [00:04:03] Speaker C: Six out of five, that's a lot for an empanada. [00:04:05] Speaker B: Fucking out of a guy's car. Come on. [00:04:08] Speaker C: Outside of his boot row. [00:04:09] Speaker A: But they were twice as big as a cafetola. So half the price. Twice as big, twice as gross. But they were fine and even. I got back to the car and I said to my old lady, so, you know, I just bought these from out of the boot of a car. [00:04:24] Speaker B: She was waiting in the car for you? [00:04:25] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, we just finished. [00:04:26] Speaker C: Did you get her one too? [00:04:27] Speaker A: I did and I thought I said to her, if you don't want it, don't worry, I'll do too. Sure, but I'll eat the. [00:04:33] Speaker B: What flavor? [00:04:34] Speaker A: So I had a. I had a Carne and Apollo. [00:04:39] Speaker B: Yeah. And did you give him a tip? [00:04:42] Speaker A: No, no tip. I felt like six bucks. Out of the boot? [00:04:45] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:04:46] Speaker A: I'm not saying round it to five. [00:04:48] Speaker C: That's including tip. [00:04:49] Speaker B: Was he counting the money back? [00:04:50] Speaker A: Maybe he just sold it. Maybe he just sold it like as I was a gringo. [00:04:55] Speaker B: Yeah, they just like the ice cream men here in the city. They change the prices. [00:04:58] Speaker C: No matter you tip somebody, if they bring you the product, if you're sitting at a table and it's the experience. If they're selling out of the boot of the car and you're going to them, you're not tip. Why would you tip them? [00:05:06] Speaker B: No, tipping's too crazy. I like that. You're right. [00:05:08] Speaker A: So anywho, So I said to my Mrs. I'll eat it. I'll eat it now because I'm hungry. Yeah. If I'm shitting through the eye of a needle in half an hour, you can give it a wide berth. [00:05:22] Speaker B: Where does this empanada out of a boot fall on the dietary pyramid? [00:05:25] Speaker C: You're on the once a week specialty, Right? [00:05:28] Speaker A: This is the once a week empanada is pretty good. [00:05:32] Speaker B: Fried bread. [00:05:33] Speaker C: Deep fried. [00:05:34] Speaker B: Deep fried bread and cheese. Cheese and meat. I'm not judging you, I'm just saying. [00:05:41] Speaker C: No, it's not baked. [00:05:42] Speaker B: Yeah, if it's some are baked. I don't know. [00:05:46] Speaker C: These ones he cooked in his exhaust pipe. [00:05:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Probably got the fry daddy in the [00:05:50] Speaker C: back seat just on the engine. [00:05:53] Speaker A: He had him in like a big one of them. Silver lined. [00:05:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:58] Speaker A: Keep it warm. [00:05:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Was he doing any other business? Was anyone else lined up at his booth? [00:06:04] Speaker C: Yeah. What else was he selling? [00:06:05] Speaker A: Him and his two mates chomping away. [00:06:08] Speaker B: They were eating the product. [00:06:09] Speaker A: Yeah, his mates were chomping away. [00:06:10] Speaker B: Maybe to make people feel more so. [00:06:13] Speaker A: Anyway. [00:06:14] Speaker B: All right, so on a scale of. What's on a. On a scale of four to four boots, where do you give these empanadas? [00:06:21] Speaker A: Three boots. [00:06:22] Speaker B: Three out of four boots. [00:06:23] Speaker A: They're a bit on the greasy side. Like the bag went see through. [00:06:27] Speaker B: Yeah, but think, all the stories you've. How many times you've told this story about buying it out of the bag. [00:06:32] Speaker A: This is the first time. This is it. First time. [00:06:34] Speaker C: Too bad you haven't been getting these texts because I've had some good zingers along the way. [00:06:37] Speaker B: Really? How long have you been talking without me? [00:06:40] Speaker C: Well, who knows? I don't know when the last time you got the texts were, but I haven't got anything. I had a whole agenda. Item one, boot empanadas. And then gym shoe sandwiches is the second one. That's just gold. [00:06:50] Speaker B: That is gold. [00:06:51] Speaker C: Of. [00:06:51] Speaker A: You bought. You bought sandwiches out of a gym shoe? [00:06:54] Speaker C: No. You never heard of a gym shoe sandwich? [00:06:56] Speaker A: No. [00:06:57] Speaker B: It tastes like a gym. [00:06:58] Speaker C: That's why you didn't laugh your head off when I said it. [00:07:01] Speaker B: Wait a minute. [00:07:03] Speaker C: It's a kind of sandwich. No, it was a solid joke. [00:07:06] Speaker A: Was it? [00:07:06] Speaker C: It was. [00:07:07] Speaker A: I thought it was some American schoolyard thing. [00:07:10] Speaker C: Next time I'm bringing gym shoe sandwiches. [00:07:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:12] Speaker B: Wait, did the last. I don't know, we texted last week. [00:07:17] Speaker C: Yeah, it was Randy Felt face. Yeah, yeah, that Muppet. [00:07:20] Speaker B: And then I sent the picture of the VCR hooked up. [00:07:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:07:23] Speaker B: You saw that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, got that running. [00:07:25] Speaker C: I replied to that one. You didn't get that? [00:07:26] Speaker B: No, no, I didn't get anything after that. Then I'm texting you about the show [00:07:29] Speaker A: and yeah, we were talking about why did you need a converter? [00:07:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I didn't get any of that. [00:07:34] Speaker A: Well, why? [00:07:35] Speaker C: But then I was second. But I was backing you up on that because I was saying I needed to buy a converter because they don't have RCA cable or outputs on TVs anymore. [00:07:44] Speaker A: Really? [00:07:44] Speaker C: Yeah, my TV, more than five years old and plasma. It doesn't have an RCA. I bought one of those little Nintendo. Nintendo's. I bought it for a friend of mine for a Christmas gift in case she bought me something. You know the little ones that have like a million games on the little cartridge. And she didn't get me anything, so I just kept it. And so I was like, this is great. I'll play Mario Brothers or whatever. [00:08:05] Speaker B: Wait, wait, go back to that. [00:08:06] Speaker A: I was giving. [00:08:08] Speaker B: Wait, wait, you were anticipating a gift from someone and they didn't give you anything? [00:08:12] Speaker C: Yeah, we were roommates and I thought, well, she might get me something and if she does, I don't want to be empty handed. So I got her this Nintendo because she likes stuff like that. [00:08:19] Speaker B: But you never took it out? [00:08:20] Speaker C: She didn't give me anything, so I didn't give her anything. [00:08:22] Speaker B: How'd you. How'd you know? Like maybe she was doing the same thing. She was holding back a gift, waiting to see if you pulled one out. [00:08:26] Speaker C: And then she got to keep whatever she got me then too. So we both got something out of the deal. [00:08:31] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:08:32] Speaker C: But yeah, I plugged it in. Well, then I went to look and there was no RCA key. I had to buy a special extension. [00:08:36] Speaker A: Do they still put coax connection? [00:08:38] Speaker B: Now see, that's what I. That's. I tried the coax ran at mono from the tv. [00:08:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:44] Speaker B: To the device, to the vcr, ran a mono coax. Couldn't get anything. Would you need something else there? [00:08:51] Speaker A: No, you'd probably have to flip the channel to get to the coax channel. So. Because you have inputs on it on a telly, right. So you gotta flip through HDMI 1, HDMI 2. [00:09:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:03] Speaker A: Aerial. Boom. There you're in, you're in business. [00:09:05] Speaker B: Well, I went to live tv, but I didn't change the channel. That's why. [00:09:08] Speaker C: For. [00:09:08] Speaker A: Yeah, because the channel as well. [00:09:10] Speaker B: But that's all digital now. I don't think it's a same. I don't think it would work the same. [00:09:13] Speaker A: Well, why put the coax on if they're gonna put it on for a joke? [00:09:18] Speaker B: Yeah, you're right. If they're gonna put the coax on there, why not put the RCA outputs? You know? Doesn't make any sense. [00:09:26] Speaker C: I guess people don't use them anymore. [00:09:27] Speaker A: Plus, I could have given you a coax box. [00:09:30] Speaker B: Oh, like a converter box? Coax to rca. [00:09:33] Speaker C: Oh, you know what? I have one of those still at home from that Nintendo. Because then I. I started playing the thing and I realized, let me have that Nintendo. You can have it. I realized it's a real one. Yeah. As long as I still have it, I don't know where it is. No, no, no, it's not a real one. It's. [00:09:44] Speaker B: It's a little like retro one. [00:09:45] Speaker C: Yeah. Where they have like 500 games on a little. On a chip. [00:09:49] Speaker A: You know, I have the Atari and the Pac Man. [00:09:52] Speaker C: Matter of fact, I. I know for a fact that the controllers started to be. They were ruined over time by comics that I would have over when I used to have these parties and they would spill things on them. So the button started to stick. But I know I still have the converter, so if you want the converter, well, it's all yours. [00:10:09] Speaker B: It's a converter. [00:10:10] Speaker C: What it goes. I think it's. I think it's HDMI to rca. [00:10:16] Speaker B: Okay. That's what I got for this, for the vcr. [00:10:18] Speaker C: So it'll plug into whatever TV and then you just plug yours. [00:10:21] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:10:21] Speaker C: On the other end. [00:10:22] Speaker B: Hey, you know what I have? You guys would probably like. And you're. You're welcome to it. You remember Sega hockey 90s? [00:10:29] Speaker C: Awesome. [00:10:29] Speaker B: Yeah, right. Best. Well, I got the. [00:10:32] Speaker C: It's. [00:10:33] Speaker B: This thing's got to be 25 years old. It's. It's just the controller that you plug in to the TV and you just play Sega. Yeah, it's fucking great. [00:10:42] Speaker C: Every winter I go through the same thing where I think, you know what now, like, all this, like, downtime where you just stuck inside. I'll think, like, I'm gonna play a video game, like the hockey games I used to play, or like this, you know that. And then I'll start to do it. I'll buy, you know, something like I did with the Nintendo and I'll start to do it and realize, like, I have so many goddamn things to do. What am I doing here? What am I doing playing a video game? [00:11:00] Speaker A: You know what? [00:11:00] Speaker C: I'm 42 years old. And I'm 42. [00:11:01] Speaker B: Then you remember there's porn to be watched. [00:11:03] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. There's so many better things. I'm an adult. [00:11:06] Speaker B: What am I doing? [00:11:07] Speaker C: Right. [00:11:07] Speaker B: I'm playing a video game. [00:11:08] Speaker C: Looking at, I start to feel guilty. [00:11:10] Speaker B: Endless infinity porn I played. [00:11:12] Speaker A: I played track and field for an hour on my birthday last Wednesday. [00:11:16] Speaker B: Well, speaking of which. [00:11:19] Speaker C: Speaking of. [00:11:21] Speaker B: You were doing this. Track and field. Is that code for no track? [00:11:27] Speaker A: Don't you remember track and field? [00:11:32] Speaker C: Happy birthday. [00:11:35] Speaker A: Happy birthday. [00:11:38] Speaker B: Happy belated birthday. I didn't even know because you hide that. But then you just came out and said it because it's after the fact. [00:11:44] Speaker A: You would talking about how sad it was to play video games. [00:11:48] Speaker B: So I thought I'd up one on your birthday. Sad. What a sad birthday. [00:11:52] Speaker C: Let's do it. You ready, Bill? [00:11:53] Speaker B: Video games alone. Yeah. [00:11:55] Speaker C: All right. Break out that pizza. [00:11:56] Speaker B: All right. So we knew. We knew it was your birthday. Christian, he keeps track of these things. I would have liked to have known last week, but whatever, we're happy to do it this week. We brought in catering for the birthday. We catered the whole event for your birthday. So even though you had a bad actual birthday playing video games, this is gonna be great. [00:12:15] Speaker C: We're gonna make up for it today. [00:12:17] Speaker B: Yep. Christian's got some stuff. I got high end pizza. [00:12:21] Speaker C: I have. [00:12:22] Speaker B: I need a reheat. [00:12:22] Speaker C: I have party hats. [00:12:23] Speaker B: Yep. [00:12:24] Speaker C: That we're all gonna wear. [00:12:25] Speaker B: Yep. This pizza is from the high end pizzeria, Paulie G's down in Wicker Park. [00:12:32] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that one. Yeah. [00:12:34] Speaker B: Yeah. We got three slices. [00:12:36] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:12:37] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:12:39] Speaker A: Dinosaur ones. [00:12:40] Speaker C: Yeah, you're a dinosaur today. Wait, there's more. [00:12:43] Speaker A: Oh, it's because you're old. You get a dinosaur hat. [00:12:46] Speaker B: Yes. You got it. [00:12:47] Speaker C: What do you like? Yellow, blue, Blue or teal? [00:12:50] Speaker A: Teal. [00:12:51] Speaker C: All right. [00:12:52] Speaker B: Yeah, I'll take whatever. I'm not. I'm not particular. [00:12:56] Speaker A: Oh, if only the listeners at home could see this. [00:12:59] Speaker B: Yeah. Wait till we get to the gifts. Oh, thank you. And we have congealed Dale donuts from. [00:13:07] Speaker A: Oh, it's the best. [00:13:08] Speaker B: Yeah. From 7 11. [00:13:10] Speaker A: Whose boot did you buy them from? [00:13:12] Speaker B: Right out of 7 11? [00:13:13] Speaker A: Ah, it's a bit cheaty. [00:13:14] Speaker B: Well, all this. These are. [00:13:16] Speaker A: Don't go retail. [00:13:18] Speaker B: These are not. These aren't. These don't pass Muster at all. These aren't bad, though. [00:13:23] Speaker A: Is that garlic bread? [00:13:25] Speaker B: No, it's. They're donuts. [00:13:27] Speaker A: Oh. [00:13:28] Speaker B: Now this. [00:13:29] Speaker A: They're the longest donuts I've ever seen. [00:13:31] Speaker B: Yeah, they're long johns. Here, put those. Move those to the center for the buffet. Now this lad over here has been telling me about it, and you know what I realized? I don't listen a lot. You talk and I'm just waiting to say whatever I'm thinking about. [00:13:45] Speaker C: That's true. [00:13:46] Speaker B: You've been talking about this. Too good to go for too long. [00:13:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:13:49] Speaker B: And I've been listening, but only half listening. I thought it was just. You go to this grocery store before they close and they give you the shit they're about to throw away, which in essence, this is what it is. Now, you do understand what this is? [00:14:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:01] Speaker B: All this is from Too Good to Go. Today's show is sponsored by our new new sponsor. That didn't sound right. Too good to go before they throw it in the dumpster. They're gonna sell it to you. [00:14:14] Speaker C: It doesn't make. It doesn't make a noise. Damn it. [00:14:17] Speaker A: What the. Is that. [00:14:18] Speaker C: What a rip off. It's supposed to go to. I told the guy too. I said, I need the things that you blow into that unroll and go toot. [00:14:24] Speaker B: And he talked to a man and then he sold you these individually. [00:14:28] Speaker C: No, no, no. They were in a bag. They were in a container. Where? [00:14:31] Speaker B: Dollar Tree. Like the guy. [00:14:32] Speaker C: No, I went to. It's called Popwell. It's on Western and Elston, you're mine. No, I'm not. [00:14:39] Speaker B: There's no. You didn't go to some party store. Yes, I did. No way. [00:14:43] Speaker C: Here's the whole thing of him. [00:14:44] Speaker B: Unbelievable. [00:14:45] Speaker C: Yeah, I did. Yeah. And I even asked if he had other party hats because I wanted to get the non dinosaur ones. And he said, these are the only ones. I have this place. [00:14:51] Speaker B: How is this in business? They're selling these Paper. Paper party products out of a boutique. [00:14:56] Speaker C: I just searched party supplies when I was in the area. Anyway, on my way to the home dep. [00:15:00] Speaker A: Too good to go from a pizza shop. [00:15:02] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:03] Speaker B: So Christian's been telling me about this. Telling us about it. Right. How he gets all his food from this dumpster. Basically. [00:15:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:15:10] Speaker B: And I just thought it was one [00:15:11] Speaker C: place that, you know, one dumpster stop and shop. [00:15:16] Speaker B: Yeah. Take sympathy on him or whatever and gives him their food before they throw it out. I didn't know until a colleague at work this week when we were just sitting around, showed me the app. And there's an app. And it has so many different restaurants that are. They want to give you a deal on their food. And I've been doing it for the past week. I've been to a couple places. Bagels. I've gotten great bagels from RNA Bagel. I had retro pizza the other night. The man cooked it right in front of me and gave it to $6. Me and Bill Begain ate al fresco outside the. [00:15:49] Speaker A: Wait. It's meant to be as they lock in the door. Yeah, but it's. [00:15:54] Speaker B: Mark, you will love this. You gotta get this app right now. You get great deals and you love deals. Great deals on bad food. Dumpster type food. And then. So for today's birthday, I picked up Paulie G's. You don't know what you're gonna get. Yeah, Most of the time it's a surprise. Looks to me like some kind of margarita pizza here. [00:16:14] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:16:15] Speaker A: Very fresh looking basil on it. [00:16:16] Speaker B: A lot of basil. [00:16:17] Speaker C: Let's pick one out for Mark because I've got a candle to light and put into it. [00:16:20] Speaker B: Oh, we'll put it. Let's put it in the. [00:16:22] Speaker C: And then you can blow it out. Make a wish. [00:16:23] Speaker B: All right. Yeah, okay. [00:16:24] Speaker C: Owing to a donut. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that might stick better. Will you bring the donut to me so I don't have to do it again? [00:16:30] Speaker A: This piece is. This piece has got carrots on it. [00:16:35] Speaker C: It's probably starting there. [00:16:38] Speaker A: That's a tomahawk. That is a carrot. It's a carrot. [00:16:43] Speaker C: Oh, that's a nice. Look at that. That's a Homer Simpson donut. Wait, let's do. Wait, Take it away. Don't put it over the board. You're dripping. Dripping. Wait, I got a light. At first. You're too excited. [00:16:55] Speaker A: My friends got me a cake on Saturday. Yeah, my one friend got me a cake on Saturday. And after I blew it out, it kept relighting and she freaked out. And I said, you bought them joke ones, you muppet. [00:17:13] Speaker C: Oh, she didn't even know. [00:17:14] Speaker A: She didn't even know. [00:17:16] Speaker C: That's pretty good. [00:17:17] Speaker B: All right, let's go while it's lit. [00:17:18] Speaker C: All right. [00:17:19] Speaker B: Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to [00:17:26] Speaker C: you [00:17:29] Speaker B: Happy birthday, Mary of the Lincoln Lodge. If you want to book a show, leave your number. [00:17:39] Speaker C: Happy birthday to you. [00:17:48] Speaker B: Before you make a wish, it has to be a wish about the show. [00:17:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:51] Speaker B: Because you already had your birthday. [00:17:53] Speaker A: All right, I'm making a wish about the show. [00:17:55] Speaker B: Yeah. He's blown out the king. He had enough wind to blow out the Candle. [00:18:00] Speaker C: And we're both still here. [00:18:02] Speaker B: All the people driving around listening to this. If you are and you're. You're now futzing with the app. Too good to go. Do not go to 711 on Milwaukee. 2401 Milwaukee. [00:18:14] Speaker C: Yeah, those are always a bust. What up? The Circle Ks and the 7 11s. Avoid that. [00:18:18] Speaker B: It's garbage. [00:18:20] Speaker C: The Go Grocer. Yeah, they're good. Go for that. That's my favorite. [00:18:23] Speaker B: You get a hot food from them? [00:18:24] Speaker C: No, they'll give you like, tuna wraps. Like, they're kind of all over the board. You'll get sometimes like basil, you know? [00:18:32] Speaker B: Basil or. [00:18:32] Speaker C: Basil. [00:18:33] Speaker A: Yeah, with carrots on it. [00:18:36] Speaker C: If you. [00:18:37] Speaker B: Now listen. [00:18:38] Speaker C: If you wait long enough. [00:18:39] Speaker A: That's a goddamn carrot. [00:18:41] Speaker C: Is giardiniera. [00:18:42] Speaker B: Yeah, it's probably giardiniera. I don't see any other gardener. [00:18:45] Speaker C: Is it cut in a zigzag fashion? No, that's a classic giardiniera carrot. Maybe it's one of those, you know, the Mexican, they give you the carrots and the jalapenos and the cauliflower and the. You know, maybe it's one of those. [00:18:56] Speaker A: Are we meant to eat it now? [00:18:57] Speaker C: Sure, whatever you want. [00:18:58] Speaker B: You're hungry, right? This is your supper. [00:19:00] Speaker C: It's your birthday. [00:19:01] Speaker B: Instead of porridge, you get to have my birthday. [00:19:05] Speaker A: And I'll cry if I want. [00:19:07] Speaker B: Let's all have a slice here of carrot pizza. [00:19:09] Speaker C: Let's all have a chew. [00:19:10] Speaker B: That is a carrot. That's no doubt a carrot. [00:19:13] Speaker C: Maybe that's why they're giving them away. [00:19:15] Speaker B: Pass this over to the. [00:19:17] Speaker C: I'll come that way. [00:19:19] Speaker B: He's coming. [00:19:20] Speaker A: Oh. [00:19:20] Speaker B: Oh, there's the donut. Just went on the ground. Not gonna eat that one. [00:19:27] Speaker A: Wait, was that my carrot? I mean, my donut? Yeah, you mop it. [00:19:34] Speaker B: I'm not gonna eat that. [00:19:35] Speaker A: It's gross. [00:19:35] Speaker B: There's another one just like it. I think that is Jardineer. [00:19:40] Speaker C: Yeah, it's gotta be pretty good. Is that my carrot? [00:19:46] Speaker B: Is that my carrot now? It would be better if it was hot. Yeah, this asshole pulled it right out of the fridge. But retro pizza, he made it fresh to order, cooked it up hot, burned our mouths. [00:20:03] Speaker A: So began's ponying up again just for you. Not for me and Christian. [00:20:07] Speaker B: No, I pay for that. [00:20:10] Speaker C: Yeah, that's pretty decent. I'm going to heat it up later. Just like we were talking about last week with Tom Segura. Pizza's better when you heat it up. Listen, there's no cheese on it, though, so I guess it doesn't matter. [00:20:20] Speaker B: I heard from one of our listeners, it was. We're getting like, we recorded that cigar show. And then within hours I was getting feedback about the show because it almost posted the day we recorded it. [00:20:31] Speaker C: It was 48 hours later. [00:20:32] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:32] Speaker C: Because remember, we're on a different schedule. [00:20:34] Speaker B: Yeah. And I found out about that cigar. Why it was controversial. Yeah, he's left his wife. This came from Alex Kormos. He left his wife while she has cancer. [00:20:46] Speaker C: Oh, that. [00:20:47] Speaker B: That was. Yes. That didn't come out in the first couple. [00:20:50] Speaker C: What if she was really mean? Well, you know, what if he was finally like, you know, you're too mean. Cancer or no cancer, I gotta go. [00:20:58] Speaker B: Yeah, you gotta see it through, though. You know, it's just the optics on that aren't good, you know? [00:21:03] Speaker C: Yeah, it's definitely not. [00:21:04] Speaker B: You gotta see her through to health and then leave her in the dust. [00:21:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:21:08] Speaker A: What if she green lit it? [00:21:10] Speaker C: Yeah. What if she was like, listen, yeah, I'm too mean and I've got cancer. Get out of here. [00:21:14] Speaker B: But yeah, we're assuming that it was him. [00:21:16] Speaker C: That right. That's what I was also thinking. Maybe she was like, she kicked him. You know, I did know somebody when I was growing up that had Ms. And she told her husband, you may as well just go now because it's not going to go well. And I don't want you to have to go through it. [00:21:27] Speaker B: Yeah, she knew he would be no good. [00:21:31] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. I needed some comic around when I got cancer. [00:21:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:34] Speaker C: Some dick, joke making storyteller. [00:21:37] Speaker B: Also heard from another listener about some misinformation we passed around last week. [00:21:43] Speaker C: What is it about? [00:21:44] Speaker B: Maybe I passed around. We talked about. [00:21:47] Speaker C: Oh, wait. [00:21:48] Speaker B: Testosterone. [00:21:48] Speaker C: Before I forget, can we take a picture? Because we're going to put it on the wall. Oh, wait, not while Mark's eating his pizza. [00:21:52] Speaker B: No. Yes, while he's eating his pizza. Christ. Behind me now you're eating pizza. You're eating empanadas out of a. It is hot. You're eating empanadas out of the trunk of a car. [00:22:09] Speaker C: Say happy birthday. [00:22:11] Speaker B: Happy birthday. Provolone. [00:22:16] Speaker C: All right, that's good enough. [00:22:18] Speaker B: And last week we were down 20 pounds. How are you doing it despite your poor, poor diet? [00:22:31] Speaker C: Yeah. Good timing. [00:22:33] Speaker B: He's chewing. [00:22:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:22:34] Speaker B: How come you let him chew on air but me? You. [00:22:36] Speaker C: Special is his birthday and on your birthday you can chew on air. [00:22:39] Speaker A: Oh, I'm doing it. I mean, we've been through this, but I'll bore you again with it. No, no, Pop. No Chocolate. No, half, half. Ration desserts. Shitloads of watermelon. [00:22:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, the watermelon diet. You gotta write a book about that. I think that's out there. The watermelon diet. Shitloads of watermelon. [00:23:03] Speaker A: Yeah, watermelon. What's another good one? [00:23:05] Speaker C: That really paints a picture, doesn't it? [00:23:07] Speaker A: And then I subbed out the unhealthy sides for broccoli slaw. [00:23:11] Speaker B: Okay. Well, I saw you when you walk. You came in on the bike. You look very stylish with the helmet and the glasses. [00:23:18] Speaker A: I was brow beating into that helmet. [00:23:21] Speaker C: You don't want to wear it. [00:23:22] Speaker A: Unhappy about. [00:23:23] Speaker B: No, she's right. [00:23:25] Speaker A: I had a lovely. What do you. Rattan. Whatever you want to call it. Cowboy hat. [00:23:31] Speaker C: I gotta say, I was surprised in the beginning that you didn't wear a helmet last Saturday. [00:23:34] Speaker B: Wear a helmet? [00:23:35] Speaker C: No. I have one and I tried it for a little while, but I hate it so much. [00:23:38] Speaker B: So you go, no helmet? [00:23:39] Speaker C: I go, no helmet. Last Saturday, I was coming home from here. I was bartending all night. And then going down Milwaukee Avenue is just a nightmare. On a bike at 2 o' clock in the morning. It's just. There's just kids all over the bike lane and they're all drunk and they're falling. So it's just. It's. You're just constantly looking left and right. And so I finally made it through that gauntlet. And then, of course, then when you go out into traffic, everybody's Uber drivers looking at their phone, you know, so you're constantly dodging them. So I finally got up to the light at Milwaukee and Logan. I'm about to go down Wrightwood. Then I'm in the clear, you know, Then it's just nice side street. I'm in the home stretch and I'm just like waiting for the light to turn red. Some woman, she's walking, she's crossing the street in front of me, a young white woman. And she just looks at me. She goes. She holds her hand out, she goes, wear a helmet. Oh, my God. Oh, the. Just the. The anger. The anger that they brought. [00:24:33] Speaker B: She was right. [00:24:33] Speaker C: Oh, my God. I told her she should wear one, too. [00:24:35] Speaker A: Yeah. I feel like if you were. [00:24:37] Speaker B: Glad you clarified she was white. [00:24:38] Speaker A: If you were a kid, if you were a kid in the 70s, Karen, like me, you sort of grandfathered in. Like, if I'm not. If I'm going to die on a bicycle, I would have done it between the ages of three. [00:24:53] Speaker C: Right. [00:24:53] Speaker A: And 15. [00:24:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:24:55] Speaker A: Jesus. We used to deliberately Crash? Yeah, bicycles. See, you could do the best. Like, slide and dive. [00:25:04] Speaker C: Yeah, right. [00:25:05] Speaker A: Get the fuck out of here. [00:25:07] Speaker C: That's what I think, too. Plus, I've been riding a bike around the city for 15 years and dodging cars. When I finally put one on, I was like, okay, I wore one for like a year. And I thought, all right, now I've been wearing one for a year. I was fine for 14 years without this thing on my head. I've been fine for the last year, but I hate it. Made me not like riding a bike. I didn't enjoy doing it because I felt like an idiot with a helmet on. So I was like, okay, either I go back to how I was doing it successfully already, or I just don't enjoy this at all. So I made the choice to go back to how I was doing it. [00:25:40] Speaker A: It's. I mean, I would. I would. It was made very clear to me that the face aching would not stop until a helmet went on. [00:25:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:51] Speaker C: I don't have the problem. [00:25:52] Speaker A: And I just send the end capitulated. [00:25:55] Speaker B: We should do like my kids. And they didn't even bother to do this anymore. But they ride away from the home with the helmet on, and as soon as they turn the corner, the fuckers. Right. [00:26:04] Speaker C: That's what I used to do when I was. [00:26:05] Speaker A: See, I feel like kids today, though. They're raised into it. [00:26:09] Speaker C: Yeah, right. That's. Yeah. When I. I think. I don't remember how old I was. I think I was like, 14 when they made a helmet law in my case. Community in Williamsville, New York. I think it was like, if you were under the age of 14, that's what it was. If you're under the age of 14, you had to wear a helmet. And I was maybe 12, so I've been riding a bike, you know, my entire bike riding life up until then, without a helmet. And so then you had to. But I do the same exact thing. I'd wear it, get a block away, and it'd be around my wrist. [00:26:35] Speaker B: Yeah, we didn't wear them as kids either, because our generation. [00:26:38] Speaker A: That's why I got a broken nose and I lost two teeth. [00:26:41] Speaker C: That's why I got the scar on the side of my. [00:26:43] Speaker B: Going over the bars. Yeah, the front teeth. The front teeth, yeah. Would you get falsies put in? [00:26:48] Speaker A: No, that was like one of my first. [00:26:50] Speaker B: Oh, you're. [00:26:51] Speaker A: You know I had, like, your baby teeth. Yeah. [00:26:54] Speaker C: I got the scar from hitting the back of a minivan like 10 years ago. [00:26:58] Speaker B: Really? [00:26:58] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. A little more Than that. Yeah. On a bike. [00:27:01] Speaker B: Jesus. Still don't wear a helmet. [00:27:03] Speaker C: Well, that was my fault. I was not sober. I took a left, and I just never went straight back out, you know, I never straightened, so I just slammed into the back of a park minivan. [00:27:12] Speaker A: I once saw my. My cousin and me going along. You ever see the funny videos where people just. Just straight into the back of a. Yeah, I saw my cousin doing it, and it was the most hilarious thing ever. I mean, he was just like. We were bicycling. We're bullshitting around and stuff. And when he did it, you just thinking. I wasn't thinking it'd be funny if he does it. I'm just thinking in my head, he's got to see the car, right? He's got to see the car. Boom. Just flat in. Yeah, he's parked. And I just was laughing my ass off, obviously, when he was lying on the floor and I was like, how do you not see a car? [00:27:52] Speaker C: Yeah, well, I mean, in my case, I'm sure I saw it, but I wasn't really in the state of mind to do much about it. [00:27:59] Speaker A: I'll probably be dead within a week. [00:28:00] Speaker C: Put a big dent in the back of their van. [00:28:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:28:03] Speaker C: I was living with Alberto at the time. I got home and blood spraying out of my head. Oh, boy. I knocked on the door. Oh, yeah. I knocked on his bedroom door. I said, hey, can you help me with this? He came out. He was a social worker at the time. He just, like, poured a bunch of isopropyl alcohol on. He's like, I don't know, man. Like, this is bad. I didn't have health insurance, so I didn't go to the hospital until the next morning when I could see the white blood cells on the cloth that I had on my head. And I was like, ah, I better go. And I went and I think it was something. I don't remember. I think it was like, eight to ten stitches, something like that. [00:28:29] Speaker B: Oof. [00:28:30] Speaker A: Paper of proper sewing machine. [00:28:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:34] Speaker C: What do you mean paper? [00:28:35] Speaker B: Stitches, sutures, staples or proper. [00:28:39] Speaker C: Oh, it wasn't staples. They just did, like, a knitting job on me, you know? [00:28:43] Speaker A: It was like in the films, right? [00:28:45] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. They were telling me, like, you should have come in last night. This would have been a lot better. He probably wouldn't have a scar. You know, we would have been able to do this now. We got to clean the whole thing out. But, you know, you live and you learn. [00:28:55] Speaker A: I. No, I forgot now. All right, you know what? I have. I have Traffic savvy. [00:29:01] Speaker C: Yeah, that's what I think I have, too, because I can predict what's happening. [00:29:05] Speaker A: I rode motorcycles my whole life. I'm 10 steps ahead. [00:29:08] Speaker C: Yeah, same thing. I know exactly what. [00:29:11] Speaker B: Somebody blocks away, throws his door open, and you don't know anyone's in that car. [00:29:15] Speaker C: You don't. [00:29:16] Speaker A: Yeah, I can see the person in the car. [00:29:19] Speaker C: Yeah, you look for the head. [00:29:20] Speaker A: I could see him faffing, I think. I don't know how. It's like a sixth sense. Like, it's like when someone. If I'm coming up to a junction, right. I'm just humming a junction. I say, let's say I did this one time on Lawrence Avenue driving along late at night on a scooter, and I could see he got to be three streets up. [00:29:42] Speaker B: On that Lambretti Seinfeld scooter. [00:29:44] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. On the Lambron. Three streets up, I see this guy, and I can't. I just fucking have a. Like, this asshole is gonna pull out on me. [00:29:54] Speaker C: Mm. [00:29:55] Speaker A: And so I immediately start slowing down and everything fucking straight out on me, like. And I was already breaking before he pulled out. [00:30:06] Speaker C: The amount of times I muttered to myself, what stupid shit are you about to do? [00:30:09] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:10] Speaker C: You know, as I'm watching, I just. I can tell. I know. So I just slow way down. Sure enough, they'll do something ridiculous right in front of me, and then I'll go, hey, you know, I'll see. I'm like, check your mirrors. You know, next time you're gonna pull something like that. And then it's always an F you or a horn honk, you know, it's like. Oh, that's your reaction? [00:30:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:27] Speaker C: That's clever. [00:30:28] Speaker B: Listen, I don't like listening to you two be so cocksure about your preternatural biking abilities. Now you're definitely gonna be, you know, on the road. [00:30:38] Speaker C: It's not the first time I've had this conversation, all right? [00:30:41] Speaker B: You're tempting the fates. [00:30:42] Speaker A: Yeah, I know it's tempting the fates, but always looking ahead. [00:30:47] Speaker C: Yeah, well, I'd rather look ahead than look like a dork. [00:30:50] Speaker B: Did you get any gifts for your birthday from the missus? What'd you get? [00:30:55] Speaker A: No, Mrs. Didn't get me helmet. No, the Mrs. Got me tickets to see the Charlatans next week. [00:31:01] Speaker B: Next month, they sing the Friends theme song. Charlatans? Who's that? [00:31:07] Speaker A: Charlatans are legends. [00:31:09] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know. [00:31:10] Speaker A: The only one I know. The only one I know. Manchester, it was everything. [00:31:17] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:31:18] Speaker A: Anyway, okay, got to take it to see that. And then my friend, English friends always buy things for me, even though they've been told many times not to. So, like some T shirts and some other stuff. [00:31:31] Speaker B: Nice. These are the friends that you were with? They're here. Oh, the ones that live here? Yeah, yeah, them. Them same gals from the lodge. This is Charlatan's. [00:31:41] Speaker A: The only one I know. It's dance floor. Classic. [00:31:46] Speaker B: Oh, I think I know this one. Where are they playing? State fair. Illinois State Fair. [00:31:53] Speaker A: Springfield Park West. [00:31:55] Speaker B: Oh, we're. We're where mediocre acts go to die. The park west, maximum capacity. 130 people. You'll have a good seat for that. [00:32:12] Speaker A: Well, that's where you saw Dwight. Yum. Said kiss my grits. [00:32:17] Speaker B: All right, well, you don't tell me to not get you gifts. I think you assume I'm going to get you a gift. And of course I did. This is wrapped nicely. [00:32:25] Speaker A: You. You had left the room. Remember last week when he whipped out those chocolate covered peanuts? [00:32:32] Speaker B: Who did? Yeah, yeah. Remember the chocolate covered peanuts? The peanuts, yeah. [00:32:38] Speaker C: Okay. [00:32:38] Speaker A: Chocolate covered cashews or whatever. [00:32:40] Speaker B: Yeah. There were peanut. There were almonds. [00:32:42] Speaker A: Total Indian giver. He said he only gave. Oh, yeah, he gave it to me and then took them back afterwards. [00:32:52] Speaker C: He did the same thing with the magazine that he gave me and said he needs it for his fantasy football. [00:32:56] Speaker B: Yeah, that episode hasn't even aired yet. [00:32:59] Speaker C: So what are you doing? [00:33:01] Speaker B: That episode's still out there. [00:33:03] Speaker C: Well, it's a little. It's how the sausage is made. [00:33:06] Speaker B: Well, whatever. This one. I'm not going to. Whatever you just said, I'm gonna let you keep this one. You know, you can't. And this because of our. Our sad history with Native Americans. You can't go around saying that term that you said about. [00:33:27] Speaker A: I didn't say Native American gift. [00:33:29] Speaker B: No, you didn't. [00:33:29] Speaker A: I said Indian. [00:33:30] Speaker B: Were you talking about Indians from India? [00:33:31] Speaker A: Yeah, the subcontinent. [00:33:33] Speaker B: Oh, okay, then that's fine. [00:33:34] Speaker A: They're very generous people. [00:33:36] Speaker B: They are. [00:33:37] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:33:37] Speaker B: But then they take their gifts back. [00:33:39] Speaker A: But then, yeah, [00:33:42] Speaker B: I've wrapped this gift. [00:33:43] Speaker A: You know where. India. What continent? India's on Asia. [00:33:48] Speaker B: Asia Minor, thanks to this podcast. [00:33:50] Speaker C: I know that. I can't believe these things don't too. I specifically said to the guy, I need something that toots. [00:33:56] Speaker A: Happy birthday, Mark. Gary. [00:33:58] Speaker B: It is easy. There's a. I taped it in the front, says go to the other side. [00:34:03] Speaker C: Took some time on that. [00:34:04] Speaker B: I've been very excited to give him this. Whatever you tear into it like a Child. [00:34:11] Speaker A: It's a wig. [00:34:12] Speaker B: Yes, it is a wig. You've been wanting one and I got you a ginger wig for your slap head. How about that? [00:34:22] Speaker C: It's not ginger though. [00:34:23] Speaker B: They look like. You're gonna look like Dave Ferry from jfk. Put that on. [00:34:27] Speaker C: We're gonna retake our picture. [00:34:28] Speaker A: We'll have to take the dinosaur hat off. [00:34:30] Speaker C: No. Yeah, put the dinosaur head on top of the wig. It's like a half. [00:34:33] Speaker B: That's why we need. We need cameras. [00:34:35] Speaker C: I know we do. We need people. [00:34:36] Speaker B: People want to. Would love to see this. [00:34:37] Speaker C: This is just gold and we're missing it. [00:34:39] Speaker A: I assume the tag is at the back, right? [00:34:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:41] Speaker A: This isn't used, is it? No. Fleas. [00:34:44] Speaker B: I want to. [00:34:45] Speaker A: This is a child's wig. No, no, this is a child's wig. [00:34:49] Speaker B: No, it's just tight. It's elastic. Yes, it will. You have a big head. [00:34:53] Speaker A: No, this is a child. This is a. You robbed some child with cancer of a life of dignity. [00:35:02] Speaker B: Pull it down in the front a little bit. It's not supposed to look like. [00:35:06] Speaker C: You look like Martin Short. [00:35:07] Speaker B: There we go. [00:35:09] Speaker A: This is. This is squeezing my brains out. [00:35:12] Speaker B: You can't tell the difference from like your sideburns. The color. [00:35:16] Speaker A: Is it blending? [00:35:17] Speaker B: It's blending very well. [00:35:18] Speaker C: It's not bad actually. It looks pretty good. [00:35:19] Speaker B: It does look good. Yeah. [00:35:20] Speaker A: How much for me to walk around? [00:35:22] Speaker C: Oh, whatever you want. I'll pay whatever amount. [00:35:24] Speaker B: Oh my God. It's not bad. [00:35:26] Speaker C: 16 empanadas. [00:35:28] Speaker B: Now this isn't. This isn't a. What do you. A costume wig like for Halloween. That's a real wig. That's real human hair and it's snug fit is because it's. You're going to want it tight if you're going out in the elements. That fucker blowing right off. So it's meant to be like that. I talked to the guy, the wig ear. What's a wig maker's name? Like a wig. Wigamere. [00:35:52] Speaker C: Basil. [00:35:53] Speaker B: I was going to say wigger, but that's not it. [00:35:55] Speaker C: Cecil. Cecil, Yeah. [00:35:57] Speaker B: A Cecil. [00:35:57] Speaker C: Yeah, I'd say Cecil. [00:35:59] Speaker B: That's made up. [00:36:00] Speaker C: No, Cecil's real mark. [00:36:02] Speaker B: A wiggin ear. [00:36:02] Speaker C: That's a British one. [00:36:03] Speaker A: Yeah, he. [00:36:05] Speaker B: Yeah, I showed him a picture of you and he's matched the color and it was spot on. I didn't think so. It's a little two toned in the back. So the different color in the back. It's a little darker in the back, but man, it's supposed to maybe look natural. I think it looks decent. [00:36:18] Speaker A: Is this off a dead guy? [00:36:19] Speaker B: Well, who knows? I don't know. [00:36:21] Speaker C: The. [00:36:21] Speaker A: What. What style? [00:36:23] Speaker B: Donated. I would say 80s. [00:36:28] Speaker A: I don't know. What was it called? [00:36:29] Speaker B: Stockbroker. [00:36:30] Speaker C: What was it called, Arthur? [00:36:31] Speaker A: Was it called, like Wall Street? Oh, the name of the way when you bought it. [00:36:35] Speaker B: I don't know. It didn't have a name. They didn't. They didn't like. Like the Avalon or something? [00:36:38] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:36:39] Speaker B: No, they didn't have names on them. They just had them on. On mannequin heads. Set me back, too. Yeah. [00:36:46] Speaker C: Oh, really? [00:36:47] Speaker B: Wear it. Yeah, well, it looks good. I can't take my eyes off. [00:36:52] Speaker C: Yeah. I don't know if I'm a brand new mark. [00:36:55] Speaker B: Yeah, I. I can't take my eyes off you. That's all I can say. I don't know if I'm looking at a car wreck or I'm attracted. [00:37:02] Speaker A: I wish I had a bollocks to literally walk around in it. [00:37:06] Speaker B: You want to see what you look like? [00:37:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:37:07] Speaker C: Here. Yeah. Just take the picture. Go say hi to people later with it on. At least one. [00:37:10] Speaker B: Yeah, you. Why? [00:37:11] Speaker C: At least one time. [00:37:13] Speaker B: Well, where did it go? [00:37:15] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, it looks like. What's the character like? A film. A film character. [00:37:26] Speaker B: I can't. I. I can't look at you. It's too. [00:37:28] Speaker C: It's. [00:37:29] Speaker B: It's like looking at you naked or something. [00:37:31] Speaker A: I don't know why it's so fully clothed. [00:37:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:35] Speaker A: I'm finally a full. Full human. [00:37:37] Speaker B: You look great. You look great in it. [00:37:40] Speaker A: Really. [00:37:40] Speaker B: I can't look at you, though. Can't make eye contact. I have to look over here. I don't know why I'm getting. All right, I'm getting it. [00:37:46] Speaker A: Well, I need to do my gift. You have gifts. What about the show gifts? [00:37:51] Speaker B: What do you mean? No, that's not show gifts. This is all about you. [00:37:55] Speaker A: That's my birthday gift. [00:37:57] Speaker B: Come on. [00:37:57] Speaker C: No, we're not doing show gifts. We're just doing birthday gifts. [00:37:59] Speaker B: Birthday today. It's the birthday special. Make sure you put that in the liner. Yeah, it says the birthday special. You can't give us gifts on your birthday. [00:38:05] Speaker C: You just got. Save them for next time. [00:38:07] Speaker B: Especially after the I am. [00:38:09] Speaker A: Because to work for these. All right, so I'm gonna do the old. The old McCann double jeopardy on you. [00:38:17] Speaker C: So now you can call it a seaman special. [00:38:20] Speaker A: Now you've reignited your VHS love affair. [00:38:25] Speaker B: Yeah, I got it rowing. I got it running. [00:38:27] Speaker A: Every week it's going to be a new dilemma. So in. In. In Fist. Fist A. I've got the Catch a Rising Stars 10th anniversary special with, get this lineup. Joe Piscopo, David Brenner. [00:38:44] Speaker B: Oh. [00:38:45] Speaker A: Richard Belzer. [00:38:46] Speaker B: Oh, the Bells. [00:38:47] Speaker A: Crystal and Williams together at last. [00:38:50] Speaker B: I don't know them. [00:38:51] Speaker A: Gabe Kaplan. Crystalline Williams. Billy Crystalline. [00:38:54] Speaker B: Oh, Crystal and Rob. Oh. They're billed as a double act. [00:38:58] Speaker A: Andy Kaufman for the Nihilist. Fucking love Andy Kaufman. And somewhat inexplicably, Pat Benatar. [00:39:05] Speaker C: What? [00:39:06] Speaker A: To round out the bill. [00:39:07] Speaker B: Can I touch it? [00:39:08] Speaker C: Kind of like that. [00:39:08] Speaker A: Touch it. But you don't own it yet. [00:39:10] Speaker C: Remember that. What special did we do? The Dangerfield one where Aretha Franklin was on it. [00:39:14] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe. But this is a comedy club. This is like a comedy club. So why is she there? [00:39:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:21] Speaker B: How about the big. The big mural outside this building of Robin Williams. [00:39:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:25] Speaker B: Who commissioned that? [00:39:25] Speaker C: That's what I've always wondered. What the. Is that right? [00:39:28] Speaker B: But it's kind of right next to the club. [00:39:30] Speaker A: It's really starting to squeeze my head now. [00:39:33] Speaker B: Really? Maybe I'll bring it to Mari. He'll get a. Loosen it. [00:39:37] Speaker A: Does it have to be adjusted? [00:39:39] Speaker B: It might need to be adjusted. We might have to bring you in [00:39:43] Speaker A: to the Wigadier anyway. [00:39:44] Speaker B: Would you look at the back? Rita Rudner. [00:39:46] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:39:47] Speaker B: J.J. wall. [00:39:48] Speaker A: It's an all star. [00:39:49] Speaker B: That is. [00:39:50] Speaker A: That's a choice A and it's fully wrapped. [00:39:52] Speaker C: Oh, it's choice A. [00:39:53] Speaker A: But I think. I think you're gonna pass on it for the Adventures of Ford Fairlane. [00:39:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:59] Speaker A: I like that movie Dice. I'm so annoyed, though. I swear to God. I had a copy of Casual Sex on VHS and that was gonna be the die. [00:40:09] Speaker B: Yeah, The Dice. Oh, choose between the. The two dices, like Scylla and Charybdis. You know, your Dice. [00:40:16] Speaker A: I should have looked this up on ebay because this might be worth money. So I'm not sure. I do. [00:40:21] Speaker B: Well, you know what? [00:40:21] Speaker C: You. [00:40:22] Speaker A: You. [00:40:22] Speaker B: I do love Dice and I do. I did see that film in the theater and enjoyed it very much. It was a Dice media vehicle at the time. He was. His star was hotter than it had ever been when that came out. But I'm really intrigued. I want to see the stand up from. [00:40:43] Speaker A: You want to catch these rising stars? [00:40:44] Speaker B: You want to catch his rising stars? So that. I don't know. I know that movie. I've seen that movie, but I haven't. I don't know. I don't think I've seen that special with all those people on it. So I want to see that. Particularly the Kaufman thank you very much. Now they got the vcr. My whole life's changing. [00:40:59] Speaker A: Casual sex was Leah Thompson and. And that well known Mary. [00:41:05] Speaker B: Huh? [00:41:06] Speaker A: That well known homophobe, Victoria. [00:41:10] Speaker B: Victoria Jackson. I thought. Yeah, I guess. Lee Thompson. Victoria Jackson. [00:41:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:14] Speaker B: She's a Christian right winger, I believe. [00:41:16] Speaker A: Yep. And then Dice just tried to be. [00:41:21] Speaker B: He was one of the Johns or one of the. [00:41:23] Speaker A: He turns up with Puppy at the end because he. [00:41:27] Speaker B: Like, who is he with? Victoria Jackson? [00:41:28] Speaker A: No, he kind of. He was kind of a douchey character. And then he sort of calmed it. [00:41:34] Speaker C: He was. [00:41:34] Speaker B: He wasn't full Dice, though. He was just a guy. He wasn't. He wasn't. [00:41:39] Speaker A: In the final scene, he turns up with a puppy to win Leah Thompson over. [00:41:44] Speaker B: Anyway, Leah Thompson went with him in the end. She went with him. Maybe Victoria Jackson. [00:41:50] Speaker A: No. For Christian, I haven't got a dilemma. I know you're such a big fan of the genres. Do you already have a hit single crafted from that? [00:42:01] Speaker C: No. My needles broken on my record player. [00:42:03] Speaker B: New stylist. [00:42:04] Speaker C: Did I not say that last week? No, my needle's broken. I got to replace it, which I'm doing pretty soon. [00:42:09] Speaker A: Well, I've got you a genre class crossover with Tamla meets Motown. Tijuana. Tamla meets Tijuana. All right, so Motown hits in the style. [00:42:21] Speaker C: In the style. This looks Mexican. My girl tracks of my tears. [00:42:25] Speaker B: Oh, that'll be kind of cool. Have you heard it? [00:42:28] Speaker C: I need your lovin Dancing in the street. [00:42:30] Speaker B: Have you been in my guy again without me? [00:42:33] Speaker C: Baby love it's the same old song. Now this is gonna be a banger. I can tell. [00:42:37] Speaker A: It's been in my collection for a million years. [00:42:39] Speaker C: This is gonna be awesome. [00:42:40] Speaker B: Speaking of that, I still have Johnny Paycheck sitting on my staff. Have you listened to the front? No. Just sits and looks at me. It's at the front. Mr. Lovemaker. Johnny Page. [00:42:51] Speaker C: I can't remember if I actually listened to that one or not ever. [00:42:54] Speaker A: Yeah, I might have recorded part of that for the pre show. [00:42:57] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:42:58] Speaker B: Use that from Tijuana. [00:43:00] Speaker A: Well, I used to play a heavy lounge rotation pre show, but lounge on its own is kind of rare. But when you give them something weird, like, you know, there's this whole genre, like with Richard Cheese, where people were doing lounge. [00:43:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:43:15] Speaker A: And I had, like. I had a whole shitload of punk lounge. [00:43:22] Speaker C: I noticed on Saturday that you've got some J5 on the playlist for the pre show. Some Jurassic 5. [00:43:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:30] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:43:30] Speaker A: We're not calling a shot. Call. And we'll take it back to the land. [00:43:36] Speaker C: I was impressed. Not a lot of J5 fans out there that I've met. [00:43:39] Speaker A: On the stage I rage and I'm rolling. What's that from? [00:43:44] Speaker C: What do you mean? Like, from sample from. Oh, I don't know. [00:43:49] Speaker A: On the stage I rage and I'm rolling. [00:43:51] Speaker C: I didn't know it was a sample. What's it from? [00:43:53] Speaker A: It's from Public Enemy. [00:43:54] Speaker B: Yeah. It almost sounded like rap, but in your voice, it was so bizarre, you know, that was your Chuck D. I [00:44:01] Speaker A: think it's this stage of rage and I'm rolling. This wig is starting to cut off my air supply. [00:44:07] Speaker C: Yeah, it's like, remember that Simpsons where he. Where Homer wears the wig and it injects the roots into his brain and it takes over his brain. It must have been like a treehouse of horrors. Yeah. Maybe that's what's happening here. [00:44:19] Speaker B: Well, we'll see. Maybe it'll morph into somebody else. [00:44:21] Speaker A: The ghost of the dead guy. [00:44:23] Speaker C: Yeah. Or the horse. Or the horse that it came from. All of a. Hankering for oats. [00:44:29] Speaker A: I was gonna say that'd be good Stephen King book, but now the citizens have done it. [00:44:33] Speaker C: So, I mean, it must have come from something that the Simpsons did it. They probably referenced some sort of story. [00:44:39] Speaker A: Well, they stole it from the song Gary Gilmore's Eyes. Do you remember that? [00:44:44] Speaker B: No. [00:44:44] Speaker A: Gary Gilmore's Eyes, the punk classic. [00:44:47] Speaker C: No Bette Davis Eyes. [00:44:50] Speaker A: It's about a guy who wakes up having he lost his eyesight. And he wakes up. It's a punk classic. Gary Gilmore's Eyes isn't Gary Gilmore. He was a mass murderer. So this guy wakes up, what do [00:45:03] Speaker C: you think about Pink Floyd? [00:45:04] Speaker A: And they've given him Gary Gilmore. Gilmore's Eyes. They've given him Gary Gilmore's eyes. [00:45:08] Speaker C: Okay. [00:45:09] Speaker A: And now everything he sees is through evil. Yeah. [00:45:12] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. That's a movie. That's like a Stephen King. [00:45:14] Speaker C: I think it's a punk classic. [00:45:16] Speaker B: No, I'm thinking of Gary Glitter. Gary Glitter. [00:45:22] Speaker A: Gary Glitter's Eyes is all about young boys. [00:45:24] Speaker B: Oh, really? [00:45:25] Speaker C: Oh, did he. Is that. He's a puffy. I didn't. [00:45:28] Speaker A: Gary Glitter had to leave England through pedophilia. Like, they. He's a major nonsense. Oh, they, like, got someone torpedo. Yeah, they got off his laptop, kicked it. He. He went inside. As soon as he got out, everyone, like, was death threats. He off to Thailand. They kicked him out of Thailand. He went to, like, he was just bouncing around trying to find a country that let him stay there. [00:45:53] Speaker B: Where Is he now Gary Glitter? [00:45:55] Speaker A: Nowhere Gary Glitter is now. [00:45:56] Speaker B: What was his big song? It was a big song. [00:45:58] Speaker A: Oh, in England. Well, he had Rock and Roll Part two. [00:46:04] Speaker B: That's him. [00:46:04] Speaker A: That is the song. Yeah. But he had 27 number one hits in England. [00:46:11] Speaker C: Rock and roll parts one and two. [00:46:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:46:13] Speaker B: Wow. [00:46:13] Speaker C: That's the only song I know about him. [00:46:15] Speaker A: Yeah. What's the big one in England is. Well, it's funny because in England he was a megastar of, you know, like, glam rock. And now you like. If you say, oh, I like that Gary Glitter song. [00:46:26] Speaker B: Right. [00:46:27] Speaker A: You'll be beating up. [00:46:28] Speaker C: It's like worse. Yeah. [00:46:30] Speaker B: England's R. Kelly, right? [00:46:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:46:32] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm surprised he didn't end up in the can for some of these transgressions. [00:46:36] Speaker A: He did. [00:46:36] Speaker B: Oh, he did. Oh. [00:46:38] Speaker A: As soon as he came out, it was Death threat. [00:46:40] Speaker B: He served time. He served his time. [00:46:41] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:46:43] Speaker B: Well, speaking of music and you're talking about lounge music. I think that's the genre. Yeah. [00:46:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:46:49] Speaker B: That was not covered in this special by Fred Armisen. [00:46:54] Speaker C: Yep. [00:46:54] Speaker B: Stand up for drummers, which we're going to take a look at today. Before we get into any of that, anything else to report now you've covered all your agenda items. [00:47:04] Speaker C: Yeah, I've got nothing either. [00:47:07] Speaker B: Yeah. I got nothing else. [00:47:10] Speaker C: I'm digging this hat. I like these party hats. [00:47:12] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:13] Speaker B: This is. This has been a great party. I'm having a. I can't look at you, though. Your eyes. Nothing different about your eyes. [00:47:20] Speaker C: Yeah. I think you're a completely different person. [00:47:22] Speaker B: It's like you're seducing me every time you look at me. Like, I feel like you're trying to. [00:47:27] Speaker A: I'm going to have to take it off because it's genuinely hurting now. [00:47:31] Speaker C: Yeah, it's too. It's a part of you now. [00:47:33] Speaker B: Tight. [00:47:33] Speaker C: It's too late because it's fused and it. [00:47:37] Speaker A: I think it's a subconscious that I itch. [00:47:40] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Once you can't scratch something, it itches. [00:47:43] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, it looks good. [00:47:47] Speaker C: All right, well, remember during the pandemic, when you wear the mask, as soon as you put it on your nose. [00:47:52] Speaker A: A reminder. [00:47:53] Speaker B: Put it on your lap like a merkin. [00:47:55] Speaker C: It's even better. [00:47:56] Speaker B: Stuff it down your pants. Fred Armisen I meant to bring in. [00:48:01] Speaker A: It definitely changes color. Jesus. It's like it's. [00:48:05] Speaker B: You might have had it on upside down. No, that's it. That's a nice. That's a high end wig. [00:48:10] Speaker C: Yeah, it is. That's a good one. [00:48:11] Speaker B: That's what in the African American community, they would refer to as a bust down lace. [00:48:16] Speaker C: Oh, really? I've never heard that in my. [00:48:18] Speaker B: Yeah, bust down lace. [00:48:20] Speaker A: Oh, you put little hairpins in it, right? [00:48:22] Speaker B: Yeah, well, if you want to. [00:48:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I think it might be adjustable. [00:48:26] Speaker B: Just need to stretch it out. I didn't have your exact head size. I just estimated. [00:48:30] Speaker C: Give it a little snip. [00:48:30] Speaker B: I described it, the shape and the size. That's what they came up with. I like the back. It's nice in the back. Yeah, yeah. [00:48:41] Speaker C: You can pull some pranks with that. [00:48:42] Speaker B: You look a little like Joe Pesci and jfk. [00:48:45] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, yeah. Right. [00:48:48] Speaker B: You need the big eye paint on eyebrows. [00:48:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:52] Speaker B: Well, Fred Armisen, most surprise who chose you. You do the introduction on this fell. [00:48:58] Speaker C: This is a 9 or 2018 Fred Armisen. This is 18. Yeah, 2018. Shot in the Great American Music hall in San Francisco. It was a stand up performance put on exclusively for drummers. So the entire audience is made completely up of drummers. How they. [00:49:17] Speaker B: Yeah, come on. [00:49:17] Speaker C: How they kept it today? I don't know. I don't know. If you had to prove that you're a drummer to buy a ticket. [00:49:22] Speaker A: That's what was happening in the lead in what? It showed him where people were coming in and they were having a drum for the. [00:49:29] Speaker C: I missed that. And I've watched this like six times and I've. [00:49:32] Speaker A: What? [00:49:33] Speaker B: No, I did see that. [00:49:34] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:35] Speaker B: But very quick. [00:49:36] Speaker A: Did you see the first guy who did it? [00:49:38] Speaker C: No. [00:49:38] Speaker A: Was the drummer. Is it Mike Borden from. Well, it's a drummer from Faith no More. [00:49:43] Speaker B: It was. [00:49:44] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:44] Speaker C: The. The Drummer from Dinosaur Jr. Was also. [00:49:47] Speaker A: Jay Mask was in there. Yeah, but. Yeah, the first guy I saw in the queue was the drummer from Faith no More. [00:49:54] Speaker C: Oh, did they have a little drum pad out there that kind of rings a bell now? Yeah, I probably didn't pay attention that much this time because I had already seen it a few times. [00:50:02] Speaker B: Had you seen this before? Had you? No. Well, I did a little. What else do you want to say before we get into. [00:50:11] Speaker C: That's about it? I mean, I can do a little background on who Fred Armisen is. [00:50:14] Speaker B: Why this now in our lives? [00:50:16] Speaker C: Why this now? It's something different. [00:50:19] Speaker A: Fred Armisen was the first video we published as the Lincoln Lodge. [00:50:23] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:50:23] Speaker B: Say what? He was in it. [00:50:25] Speaker A: He used to play a character called Ferracito. [00:50:28] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. I was in the show. [00:50:30] Speaker C: Oh, he was circa 2003. [00:50:32] Speaker A: Oh, you were in the. You were in the alt comedy section of the festival way. [00:50:37] Speaker C: Was this the documentarian that he would. The character that he would do? He would tour with Jeff Tweedy and open for him. [00:50:44] Speaker B: I kind of remember that. Well, is. Is Ferracito the. The self defense guy. Yep, that's another one he does. The self defense guy. [00:50:52] Speaker C: No, not that one. It's a Venezuelan. [00:50:54] Speaker A: He's like Tito Puente, right? Yeah, he does a lot. Two drums and. [00:50:58] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I meant to bring in the. The brochure from the comedy festival of me and Fred Armisen, Zach Jealous and Lance Barber. Put that up. [00:51:11] Speaker A: Wow. They all. They all went places. [00:51:13] Speaker B: Yeah, I was thinking about that. Four of these four guys, they all made it big. [00:51:20] Speaker C: Three made it big. [00:51:21] Speaker B: One is sitting right here. [00:51:22] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:23] Speaker B: With a party head on, eating stale donuts. [00:51:25] Speaker A: Three multi millionaires. [00:51:26] Speaker B: Yeah. Still me. [00:51:28] Speaker A: You stuck to your nihilism and it won through for me. [00:51:32] Speaker B: Uncompromising, the end. But I got to. I, you know, I spent a little time with Fred then in the. In the green room with his person. Didn't even talk to me at all, really. Wouldn't even like, give me the time of day. Yeah. [00:51:49] Speaker A: I directed. [00:51:50] Speaker C: Do you hold. [00:51:50] Speaker B: He did. [00:51:51] Speaker A: I directed him. We filmed him as Ferracito in the actual restaurant and did a little mini interview with him and stuff. [00:51:58] Speaker B: So when he came in to do that, did. Was he doing like a weekend at the lodge? [00:52:02] Speaker A: It's part of the whole festival. [00:52:03] Speaker B: Oh. Oh, okay. Okay. The year that he was here, obviously. But he wasn't here any other years. Just that one. [00:52:09] Speaker A: No, because I really wanted to get him back, obviously, because he was the indie darling. And the only person I knew who knew him was Matt Dwyer. And they'd had a big bust up over some. Yeah, some comely wench. [00:52:21] Speaker C: Oh, she was Comelyn. [00:52:23] Speaker B: Do I know such wench? [00:52:25] Speaker A: No, I was just told that. [00:52:26] Speaker B: Well, what's his. He lived here for a minute, didn't he? [00:52:29] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. [00:52:30] Speaker B: At the time. Was he living here? [00:52:32] Speaker A: Yeah, he did Bible school. So he was the drummer for Trench Mouth. Right. And I think they were based in Chicago. [00:52:39] Speaker B: So he lived here. Well, just for a couple years to do his act or Second City or something. [00:52:45] Speaker A: But I don't. [00:52:45] Speaker B: He wasn't around the scene. He wasn't a Jim Maz's Monkey bar or no 3 Ring Circus. [00:52:52] Speaker A: I think Dwyer got him. He was mates with him somehow and he got him to do Bible school every now and again. [00:52:57] Speaker B: Yeah, but. But at that time, he wasn't anybody. He wasn't Saturday Night Live. He wasn't, you know, didn't have any renown? [00:53:07] Speaker A: Because Ferracito was an SNL character. [00:53:10] Speaker B: Yeah. He brought it there. But at this time, like when the year of the festival, he wasn't. He didn't have any heat, really. Maybe he had some heat, but I [00:53:17] Speaker A: remember everyone being gonzo. Yeah. [00:53:20] Speaker B: I didn't get it. It was dumb to me. Right. I didn't understand why he got all this heat. The other guy, Galifianakis, got all this heat, and I'm sandwiched in between the two of them, and I got no heat. [00:53:32] Speaker A: And Lance Barber, who is now. [00:53:33] Speaker B: Yeah, him too. Yeah. He's. You know, these guys got all this heat, but I didn't get any. [00:53:38] Speaker C: Do you think if you ever ran into them, you'd ask? [00:53:40] Speaker B: Ask them? [00:53:41] Speaker C: Yeah. Like, what do you think? Why do you think this worked out for you, not for me? What do you think? [00:53:45] Speaker B: Well, you would know. [00:53:46] Speaker C: They'd be looking. [00:53:47] Speaker B: Why didn't I get anything out of that? All these guys shot to stardom from that festival, and I got nothing. [00:53:53] Speaker A: Because you deliberately did things to turn the audience off you. [00:53:57] Speaker B: I did not. I did a Charles Bronson vomiting on stage. I didn't. [00:54:03] Speaker A: Running around in underpants. [00:54:05] Speaker B: I don't believe I vomited in that festival. [00:54:07] Speaker A: I don't know what you did. [00:54:08] Speaker B: What was you did? [00:54:09] Speaker A: What was your act? What was your Type five for that festival? [00:54:12] Speaker B: Well, it wasn't a type five, but a character like these other guys. Armisen was all character. [00:54:19] Speaker A: You didn't just come out and do Foxworthy, totally unchanged like you did before. [00:54:25] Speaker C: No. [00:54:25] Speaker A: Because that's what you did in the audition. [00:54:27] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, I did. [00:54:29] Speaker A: So in heading into the audition, I said to Dan Carlson, head honcho with a festival, you're gonna want to see this guy. He's kind of the hot hand right now. He's the comedian's choice. [00:54:41] Speaker B: Yes. [00:54:41] Speaker A: And then you walked out and basically just did eight minutes of Jeff Foxworthy word for word. Took me a long time to memorize word for word. Trying to do the same accent. [00:54:52] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:54:53] Speaker A: And then Dan Carlson looked at me and went, are you a twat? [00:55:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, no, I did. For the festival, I did Charles Bronson. I was Charleston and Death Wish. [00:55:09] Speaker C: Can he still do it? [00:55:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:55:11] Speaker B: I don't know. This is not as. It's not as teed up as my Sling Blade character. But my wife, Jill Ireland, and I, we were out one night and were come upon by some thugs who raped. Murdered my wife and daughter. Something like that. [00:55:32] Speaker A: I didn't. I didn't know Charles Bronson was an 18th century English dandy. But go ahead. [00:55:39] Speaker B: He's got a different kind of. Yeah, delivery. [00:55:42] Speaker A: Charles Brunson has a high pitched voice. [00:55:46] Speaker B: He does. You don't see anybody doing a Bronson, any of these impressions because it's very difficult. He's like a Siberian by way. [00:55:55] Speaker A: He was Polski, wasn't he? [00:55:56] Speaker B: Yeah, Siberian Polski. Anyway, I don't know. I thought I did. Well, what's that then? I did some Rocky 4 homage piece, I think, in the next night. Either way, it didn't. Didn't land. Anyway, we're not here to talk about. [00:56:17] Speaker C: We're here to talk about Fred Armis special. [00:56:20] Speaker A: So what did you do in your hangover audition that was different to what Galfenakis did in his? [00:56:27] Speaker B: I don't know. I didn't get that audition. I didn't get the call for that. Anyway, [00:56:38] Speaker C: Let's get into it. I want to hear what you thought. I want to hear. I want to hear your dissection of. [00:56:44] Speaker B: Well, I was watching it and my wife, as she often does, comes into the room. She goes, oh, we just saw this. I was like, what? She's like, we just watched this. You're watching it again. I was like, no, we didn't. She was remembering when we went to John Mulaney and saw. Saw it live. He performed something very similar in front of 50,000 people at Wrigley Fields with drums. [00:57:09] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Oh, really? [00:57:10] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:57:11] Speaker C: No, John Mulaney's a drummer. [00:57:12] Speaker B: No, no, not John Mulaney. Fred Armisen opened for John Mulaney at the John Mulaney Show a couple months ago. [00:57:17] Speaker A: What? [00:57:18] Speaker B: Yes, yes. I told you this upon return from the show. I told you. [00:57:23] Speaker A: What's the point of that? [00:57:24] Speaker B: Exactly. I didn't understand the point then. And I watching this, I don't understand the point of this either. Right. And this is why it's so stuck in my craw about this fellow making it so big when. This is garbage. You came out last week and said how great you liked Keep Berlin. This is some hot garbage, this. Who is this for? Obviously it's for drummer. [00:57:48] Speaker C: Definitely for me. [00:57:49] Speaker B: It's for you. [00:57:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:57:51] Speaker B: Okay, great. It's a. It is a. It is a master class on drum, drums and drum equipment and all that. There might not be a single joke in this whole fucking hour. Right. Which. Fine, this is. This is billed as a stand up comedy. There's not an ounce of humor in this. [00:58:13] Speaker C: What about when he does the Dead Fox? [00:58:15] Speaker B: Yeah, that. That was pretty good. I didn't mind that. And I Did like the, the. When he goes around the map and does the impression. [00:58:22] Speaker C: Yeah, that's solid. [00:58:23] Speaker B: That is pretty solid. But, but come on. 98% of this is just technical speak on drumming. And like, is that the joke? [00:58:32] Speaker C: That's. That's too much. It's not 98%. It's. There's a lot of it in there. But there's also some really cool performances. [00:58:38] Speaker B: How's that? [00:58:39] Speaker C: When he does the NPR bit with what's her name that comes out and she, she sings a song as an npr. [00:58:46] Speaker B: Yeah, I like that. The first time I heard it, when Anna Gasteyer and the other one did it on Saturday Night Live, the NPR fucking quiet talk bit. [00:58:54] Speaker C: But they didn't sing a song. [00:58:55] Speaker A: Yeah, she was singing a pretentious NPR esque song while he was sort of clowning. [00:59:02] Speaker B: Here are some of the things I wrote down. Fred Armisen needs to take this music stuff and shove up. Shove up his ass. I meant to say shove it up his ass. [00:59:12] Speaker A: Alternative job and shove it. [00:59:14] Speaker B: Yeah, alternative equals not funny. He's not even trying to be funny. There was. There was he. He wants to talk about drumming and music. I get it. Right? Like that's what he wants to do. But he wasn't even trying to be funny for a majority of this. As he's playing the drums and like, okay, this is the drums from the 80s. What has this beat? Like, who gives a fuck? [00:59:35] Speaker C: What about when he put on those, those opaque glasses, those goggles and started playing the drums with a tambourine or a handful of bells? No, that's silly. [00:59:49] Speaker A: I think he skates by a lot on his likability. [00:59:51] Speaker B: He is very likable. I wrote that down as well. I said, he such a nice guy. [01:00:00] Speaker C: He is nice guy. [01:00:01] Speaker B: He just comes. He just exudes niceness. But you know what I found interesting in my research? This man's been married thrice times. [01:00:11] Speaker A: Yeah, okay. [01:00:12] Speaker C: So nice. He's married thrice. [01:00:13] Speaker B: He's so nice. He's married thrice. One of them wives don't think he's so nice. [01:00:19] Speaker C: Oh yeah. She didn't have cancer too, did she? [01:00:22] Speaker B: Not to my knowledge. You might be familiar with a little actress by the name of Elizabeth Moss who was married to Fred Armisen for eight long months, according to her. And each moment was worse than the [01:00:36] Speaker C: hey, you know what? It takes two to tango. [01:00:38] Speaker B: But he is a piece of shit. [01:00:42] Speaker C: Yeah, maybe she wasn't such a pleasant person to be around either. [01:00:45] Speaker B: Why are you defending Fred Arms? [01:00:47] Speaker A: I'm not saying people's Husbands. [01:00:50] Speaker B: She is. [01:00:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:00:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:00:51] Speaker A: For a living, huh? It's a joke about the show, but you're not getting it. [01:00:56] Speaker B: Handmaid stuff. [01:00:57] Speaker C: Yeah, I read the. I just want to point out the only. The only person here not wearing their party hat is the party boy, the birthday boy. [01:01:04] Speaker A: I'll put it back on then. Where is it? [01:01:06] Speaker C: It's on the floor there. Yeah, it's the other side. [01:01:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Get your. Get your party happy. I. I used to have a show. A show. Well known show called do your act. And the point of the show was to get people up there to do their acts. Yeah, right. Get up there. [01:01:25] Speaker C: Right. [01:01:25] Speaker B: Let's see your act. Don't beat around the bush. Don't come at me sideways with some other thing. Do your act. I found myself yelling at the tv. Do your act. What are you doing? You just talking about drums? Yeah, that. That is nothing. That is not funny. Has nothing to do with comedy. Do your act. You guys a funny guy. I seen him be funny on Saturday Life, right? [01:01:48] Speaker A: Even that's characters. [01:01:49] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Do characters, whatever. But this talking about drum kits and what drumming was like in the 80s, 90s and the 50s and the 40s. That's like a museum you don't even [01:02:00] Speaker C: want to be at. He did a great impression of Keith Moon. [01:02:03] Speaker B: That was terrible. Drum like this. [01:02:05] Speaker A: What about his heartfelt John Waters bit? [01:02:09] Speaker B: Terror. Okay. How about that? He's reading the letter. If you fucking sent the letter, you wouldn't have the letter, right? [01:02:17] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:02:18] Speaker B: Did that dawn on you? He's reading the letter that he wrote to John Waters. Well, if you send it to John Waters, why the fuck do you have it in your hands? Did John Waters brought it back to [01:02:26] Speaker C: you after all these years printing up two of them. [01:02:28] Speaker B: Come on. Not back in those days, bro. You know how old Fred Armisen is? 59. [01:02:33] Speaker C: Yeah, there was. [01:02:34] Speaker B: He wasn't copying. Making copies of. Couldn't even have printers that own printers back then. [01:02:39] Speaker A: What's it? Sheet. What's that blue stuff? Remember it [01:02:45] Speaker B: looks like carbon paper in his hands. Did it. [01:02:47] Speaker C: Maybe he sent the carbon part. Yeah, and he kept the original. [01:02:50] Speaker A: What about the. That. I'll tell you, the one thing that really did weird me out was that weird sketch he did with the European guy he brought on. [01:02:57] Speaker B: What the fuck was that? I got up to make lunch. [01:03:00] Speaker A: No payoff. [01:03:01] Speaker B: Nothing. None of it had any payoff. None of this. Except for the map bit with the. With the voices that. It was only funny because the voices were all kind of the same and they weren't Very good. That was funny to me. But maybe. Maybe Fred Armisen is so genius. The joke is on us and so alternative that this one hour class about drumming with no jokes is the joke. You just sat through a fucking hour about drumming with no jokes. Get it? Do you get it, Mark? That's the joke. [01:03:35] Speaker C: It's for drummers. I mean, maybe it's because you're not a drummer. [01:03:39] Speaker A: I will say this. He hated on all the right stuff to hate on. [01:03:43] Speaker B: Like what? [01:03:44] Speaker A: He hated on jazz. Great. We all hate jazz. [01:03:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:48] Speaker A: He hated on zydeco because it's stupid. He hated on blues. I mean, he. He's. That's why he's likable, because he hates the right things. That's what fished me. And I was like, yeah, he hates the things I hate. So I like him [01:04:07] Speaker B: at one point. [01:04:08] Speaker A: Then he had that good film sketch with Sheila Rie labored. [01:04:12] Speaker B: But, yeah, I. I always confuse Sheila E. With Sheena Easton. Did you ever have that problem? [01:04:18] Speaker A: No, no, because Sheena Easton was a Scottish housewife. [01:04:21] Speaker B: She was. [01:04:22] Speaker A: Yeah, she's Scottish. You know how Sheena Easton got famous? [01:04:25] Speaker B: She also African American. [01:04:27] Speaker A: No, she's Scottish. [01:04:29] Speaker B: Whatever. You know what I mean? [01:04:30] Speaker A: So you know how Sheena Easton got famous? For your eyes Only. That. No, that's not it. Only for you. The famous song is My baby works from. [01:04:45] Speaker B: That's her. [01:04:46] Speaker A: She's. [01:04:46] Speaker B: She wrote that. [01:04:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:04:48] Speaker C: So how takes the morning train. [01:04:50] Speaker A: Yeah, that's her. But here. Yeah, because here's what happened. There was a program on the BBC called something like once in a lifetime or something. It had a stupid name. And they would take ordinary people who had a dream to do something, and hers was to be a pop star. So she's just a Scottish housewife. And they say, all right, we're gonna groom her, we're gonna teach her. Sing Boyle. No way. Did she write that song and they released the song. [01:05:20] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:05:20] Speaker A: And then it goes in the charts. And then three years later, bye bye, Aberdeen. Hello, Prince. [01:05:27] Speaker C: No way. [01:05:27] Speaker B: See, now you're confusing Sheena Easton with [01:05:29] Speaker A: Sheila E. No, Sheila E. Was the drummer for Prince, and that's who's in this Armisen thing. Sheila Eena Easton sang Morning Train. My baby takes morning train for your eyes only and then hopped the Atlantic and landed on Prince's dick. [01:05:50] Speaker B: No, Sheena. Sheila E. Was with Prince, not Sheena Easton. [01:05:54] Speaker A: Sheena Easton also was really look it up. [01:05:57] Speaker B: Well, then that's why it confuses me, because I always. I always. [01:06:01] Speaker A: Because. [01:06:01] Speaker B: Yeah, that's it. That's a Good one. [01:06:03] Speaker A: That was a good Bond as well. A lot of people slag that off. [01:06:06] Speaker B: What? [01:06:06] Speaker A: For your Eyes Only was a good Bond film. [01:06:10] Speaker B: Was that song in the movie? [01:06:13] Speaker A: No. She released a song called for your Eyes Only and then they just happened to have a film. [01:06:18] Speaker B: That's a common phrase. For your eyes only. This is. Mark, I want you. This is for your eyes only. I don't want you to see. And don't let anyone else see this. Nothing. I'm being. I'm being. I'm saying, like, that's just an expression. For your eyes only. I didn't know that that was a theme song. Like Skyfall, you know, like. That's the theme song from the film. [01:06:35] Speaker A: Yeah. For your eyes Only. [01:06:37] Speaker B: That one. [01:06:38] Speaker A: Yeah. Sheena Easton, Scottish housewife, megastar Cloud Prince. I think so. No, I don't think. [01:06:55] Speaker B: Now you're confusing Sheena Easton with Sheila E. Because phonetically, they're very similar and they were both very big in the 80s. Sheila E. Was a drummer for Prince. She was a sex pot, I think was also in the van in Vanity. Was she in the lingerie rock group Vanity? [01:07:10] Speaker A: No. Prince produced an album for Sheena Easton, and Prince shagged everyone who produced everybody. [01:07:20] Speaker B: But Sheena Easton and Prince's music couldn't be farther apart. [01:07:23] Speaker A: Did Sheena Easton. [01:07:25] Speaker C: Scottish pop singer Sheena Eason and Prince shared a famous musical partnership in the 1980s. [01:07:31] Speaker B: Balls, balls, sack. [01:07:34] Speaker C: Look at that. [01:07:35] Speaker B: There is a reason to confuse them. [01:07:37] Speaker A: We're both wrong. No. Sheena Easton and Prince were never romantically involved. [01:07:42] Speaker B: Okay. [01:07:43] Speaker A: Despite rumors. So I just copied rumors. [01:07:46] Speaker C: Prince wrote provocative tracks for her like Sugar Walls under the alias Alexander. Nevermind. [01:07:54] Speaker A: That's a good idea. [01:07:54] Speaker C: Yeah, that is a good one. And recorded the massive 1987 duet hit, you got the Look. [01:08:02] Speaker B: Oh, that's Sheena Easton, too. [01:08:03] Speaker C: Yeah, I guess so. [01:08:05] Speaker B: You got the look. [01:08:06] Speaker A: You got the hook in my book. [01:08:10] Speaker B: No, that's not it. That's. [01:08:11] Speaker A: Your face is jamming. Your body's heck slamming. [01:08:15] Speaker B: You got the look. You got the look. So Sheila E. Was just a drummer, but didn't she also put a shag on Prince? [01:08:23] Speaker A: I mean, he shacked half of the North America. [01:08:26] Speaker B: Probably find out about that. S.H.I.E.L.D. [01:08:28] Speaker A: e shagging Prince Woods. Sheena Easton. During a bizarre 1985 day in which he refused to say a single word to her. Prince's chauffeur confirmed this. [01:08:43] Speaker B: Wow. So he just sat there at dinner with her, they didn't say where, then [01:08:46] Speaker A: took her home for a shag, insisting that they communicate only through their eyes. Oh, my God. [01:08:51] Speaker B: For your eyes only. [01:08:53] Speaker C: Yeah, look at that. [01:08:54] Speaker B: For Prince's Eyes Only. That was written for him. We really shouldn't be doing the research on the air. I mean, you got to come prepare. [01:09:01] Speaker C: No, this is good. You shouldn't call out. [01:09:05] Speaker A: I bet Prince's chauffeur has a whole book. That's just stunning. [01:09:09] Speaker B: Yeah, [01:09:13] Speaker A: because you must have been divided loyalty because you were a very big Jacko fan. I mean, where were you? [01:09:23] Speaker C: Bill just looked at me like, is Mark talking to you or me right now? I can't tell. [01:09:26] Speaker A: I mean, where were you in the Jacko versus Prince war? [01:09:30] Speaker B: Prince. [01:09:30] Speaker A: Which side? [01:09:31] Speaker B: I didn't care for Jack. Oh, I knew something was off there. [01:09:34] Speaker C: Who's Jacko? [01:09:35] Speaker B: Michael Jackson. [01:09:36] Speaker A: Wacko Jacko. [01:09:39] Speaker B: I knew something was off early on with Michael Jackson. It just didn't. Just didn't add up. [01:09:43] Speaker A: We know who side you were with. [01:09:45] Speaker C: Gary Glitter. [01:09:46] Speaker A: Billy. There was several wars. There was Billy Ocean. Lionel Richie. [01:09:49] Speaker B: Billy Ocean, obviously. [01:09:51] Speaker C: I love Billy Ocean way. [01:09:53] Speaker B: What? [01:09:54] Speaker A: You had a Lionel Richie album on the wall of your toilet. [01:09:57] Speaker B: Yeah, but he had. [01:09:59] Speaker C: But he had a Billy Ocean one in his living room. [01:10:02] Speaker B: I don't know. [01:10:02] Speaker A: That's revisionist history going on. [01:10:05] Speaker C: What's that album? Orange City. Orange something. The Billy Ocean one. [01:10:10] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know. [01:10:11] Speaker A: When the going gets tough. [01:10:13] Speaker B: That's a good one. [01:10:14] Speaker A: Yeah, the cheesy dance moves in the video with Turner and Douglas. [01:10:19] Speaker B: Oh, the Caribbean Queen. [01:10:22] Speaker C: Yeah, that's a great tune. [01:10:23] Speaker B: Because some people want to say Caribbean Queen. Caribbean Queen. [01:10:27] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:10:27] Speaker A: Because Caribbean is how English people say. [01:10:30] Speaker B: Is that how they say it? Billy Ocean's an Englishman. He's got to be. [01:10:34] Speaker A: Oh, he's probably from the West Indies, which means he's heavily English influenced. [01:10:38] Speaker C: No, it's not called Orange anything. It's called One World. Wait, that's not the one I'm thinking about, though, is it? [01:10:44] Speaker A: I still don't believe you were Prince over Jacko. [01:10:47] Speaker B: Hey, when you're watching this. No, I. I did not like Jacko. [01:10:50] Speaker C: I'm Michael Jackson all the way. [01:10:52] Speaker B: Okay. I love mj when you're watching this special and he's going through the decades of. Yeah, of drumming. Right. From drum, kiddo. [01:11:01] Speaker A: Minimal difference. [01:11:03] Speaker B: What? [01:11:03] Speaker A: Minimal. [01:11:04] Speaker B: I know. There's none at all. Like, I could not believe. Like I could not believe that I was sitting there. But who or what did that remind you of? Going through the decades of. As he went down the river. Yes, he lifted that. [01:11:23] Speaker A: Going to take you on a journey through the river of Drums. [01:11:27] Speaker B: Yes, the river of Drums. May have been lifted from Andy Lurie's seminal act, river of Porn. Laurie, hold that mic stand like it was a giant. Or like he was driving a gondola. [01:11:44] Speaker A: Did you say, when you watching the thing, did you. Did you ever think to yourself, what the fuck are all those drums in the middle? [01:11:50] Speaker B: Yeah, I was like, I knew he was gonna get to it. [01:11:52] Speaker A: It's like half of the theater is drums. [01:11:55] Speaker B: Yeah. I like a couple cutaways they did to the audience. And like these guys, like, mouth agape. [01:12:01] Speaker C: Yeah. Is it the same guy that I'm thinking about? Thinking about? Yeah, they just showed him for a second right in the middle of the whole thing. Yeah, he just. That he's staring at the stage like he forgot where he was. [01:12:11] Speaker B: Yeah. Like fucking fall asleep. That's what made me think, like, wait a minute now, maybe this is the bit. [01:12:16] Speaker C: Yeah, this is the bit. [01:12:17] Speaker B: Like, it's. There's no stand up at all in here. It's the jokes on you. And I felt the same way. And that's why when you said this was 2018, I was like, what? This seemed like it was come out this year. Because what I saw a couple months ago was very similar to this in terms of just talking about music. There are no jokes. He's talking about music. [01:12:36] Speaker C: Sure. [01:12:37] Speaker B: Guy loves music. Right, right. Like it's a Trojan horse, you know, I've seen a lot of it with comedians who. Tim Heidegger selling tickets to a show you show up in. Now you're watching Tim Heidecker. You know, he got you in there for comedy, but you're in there watching him play music. Fred Armisen. You think you're going to see some of the funny characters that he does or whatever, and he's going to be funny. No, you're going to listen to him give a plenary lecture on fucking drumming for an hour and a half. Like, that's not right. That's doing the audience wrong. You talk about nihilism. That's fucking nihilism. [01:13:09] Speaker C: But they had to play the drums to get in, you know, so those jokes are tailor made for them, but [01:13:14] Speaker B: there really aren't any. [01:13:15] Speaker C: If you walked up and you wouldn't be able. They'd say, you can't come in, you can't play the drums. And they'd be good for. For good reason. You're not the audience he's looking for. [01:13:24] Speaker B: But how come he says at one point when he goes in one of his jokes, he's like, well, if. If you're not a drummer, then like if you're in the audience and you, you're not a drummer. Like he addresses the audience because he [01:13:35] Speaker C: knew it was gonna be on Netflix and that you'd watch it. [01:13:39] Speaker A: Nah, I think, I think they were hoping for an all star drummer turnout and it didn't materialize. [01:13:45] Speaker C: Oh, you think so? [01:13:47] Speaker A: Because. Yeah. Mike Borden from Faith no More lives in San Francisco. So he's there then you said, like Jay Maskus was there from Dinosaur Junior. Outside of those two. [01:13:57] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:13:58] Speaker A: And the ones that were actually on [01:14:00] Speaker B: stage, the Green Day guy. [01:14:02] Speaker A: I would have thought they would have been picking them out of the audience. Like, oh, there's, you know, whatever. Yeah, the guy from Chemical Romance or whatever, you know. But they didn't. [01:14:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:14:14] Speaker A: So I wonder if that went pear shaped. [01:14:16] Speaker B: Yeah. I want to know more about what happened with him and Elizabeth Moss. [01:14:21] Speaker C: Who's Elizabeth? What was she in? [01:14:23] Speaker B: Well, I remember her from mostly from [01:14:27] Speaker C: Never Look It Up. [01:14:30] Speaker B: Us, the movie. Us, The Jordan Peele movie. She was the wife, Tim Heidegger's wife in that. But she's been in a ton of stuff. Elizabeth Moss, she's in the Invisible Man. [01:14:41] Speaker A: She has a dead ringer look alike in England called Daisy May Cooper, who is a genuinely amazing comedian. And she's always talking about, why aren't you? [01:14:50] Speaker B: Why haven't you chosen her for. [01:14:51] Speaker A: She don't do stand up. Oh, none of them do. I. I've been. Honestly, I've been looking every week to find a stream of British female stand up comedians to annoy you with. [01:15:05] Speaker B: Can't find any. [01:15:05] Speaker A: Can't find any. [01:15:07] Speaker B: Yeah. Oh, that sounds like. [01:15:09] Speaker A: I mean, why do you even make these without the thing? Right. [01:15:11] Speaker C: Why even have it? Why have it if it doesn't toot? [01:15:14] Speaker A: Hey, it's New Year's Eve. [01:15:20] Speaker C: What a disappointing. [01:15:21] Speaker B: Sounds a little like slapping the monkey there. [01:15:25] Speaker C: It even says 3, 2, 1, party on it on the package. 3, 2, 1. And then what? 3, 2, 1. Disappointment. Made in Vietnam. [01:15:35] Speaker B: Yeah. Well, these. These blow whistles are as disappointing as the special we watched. [01:15:40] Speaker A: All right, what about that? The bit about great photography is just a poor person with something they're proud of. That was Diamond Line. Diamond Line. And then what? How did he tag it with or it's. [01:15:58] Speaker C: I don't remember. [01:15:59] Speaker B: Listen, I. I want to like Fred Armisen. The things I've seen him in. I've. [01:16:05] Speaker A: Jealous. [01:16:06] Speaker B: Yeah, there's probably some of that I can't control. Right? I mean, we were. But we both had our shot. [01:16:11] Speaker A: What did you think of Portlandia? Were you Part of the hipster backlash or did you enjoy it? I loved it. [01:16:16] Speaker B: Who? [01:16:16] Speaker A: Portlandia. [01:16:17] Speaker B: I never saw it. [01:16:19] Speaker C: Oh, you got to watch it. Yeah, it's great. [01:16:21] Speaker B: Where can I see that? I just got Hulu with live tv. I've got live TV now. [01:16:25] Speaker A: Netflix brings it back and forth. No, Hulu has it. [01:16:29] Speaker C: I don't know. You know, I don't have any of these streaming services. [01:16:32] Speaker B: You get the fire stick. [01:16:33] Speaker C: Fire stick. Just get one of those. 50 bucks? Yeah, yeah. You can watch whatever you want. [01:16:38] Speaker A: Either Portlandia or Hulu keeps sort of. Either Netflix bringing it back and phasing it. I'm pretty sure it's out there right now. [01:16:46] Speaker B: So I wanted to like this. I like Fred Armisen. He's. He's so likable. At least his stage present Persona. But to me, this is any. A couple times he says, like, or one time he goes, this is so much fun for me. Like, as he's meandering through the drums thing. And I go, I bet it is. This is only for you that nobody wants to see this, Right? Like, you're just enjoying yourself up there. And like, come on, this is. This is a slap in the face. [01:17:14] Speaker A: Yeah. Quit with the drums and do seven minutes of Jeff Foxworthy verbatim. Fucking clown. [01:17:20] Speaker B: Well, listen, I'm not saying everything. Every bit of comedy has to hit. He didn't even attempt comedy for most of this. [01:17:27] Speaker A: Right? [01:17:27] Speaker B: Again, the Trojan horse. [01:17:29] Speaker C: What, the fox? Yeah, the decomposing fox. [01:17:34] Speaker B: And I do like. I like. And I've seen. I don't know, we've seen some comedians that do this when they do the impressions. Here's my impression of, you know, like when the first one he does of being at the hotel listening to the music, and he just stands there, right? Like, I like. [01:17:45] Speaker A: That was a weird. No payoff thing. [01:17:47] Speaker B: Yeah, those three. [01:17:48] Speaker C: There was a lot of those. [01:17:49] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, did three right off the bat, I think the hotel, the jazz music. So, like, I. I don't mind, you know, comedy that doesn't hit, but show me your attempting comedy. It's just talking about drums. [01:18:05] Speaker C: He's without any comedy. He also kind of hits on different bands. You ever been in this band? And then he does a thing with the guitar. You know the guy. There's always the one band mate that just loves his pedals and won't stop messing with it. [01:18:17] Speaker B: I like it when that one hit with me. [01:18:20] Speaker C: That one hit with me. When you. If you've been in that band with that guy every single time, just like, what are you doing? [01:18:25] Speaker B: Well, you know, like Dana Carvey, we watch his special. He does music as well. He's very talented musician. He. He did a little bit of music and did something just like that. Here's the guy in the band. Here's the guy when he's playing the [01:18:37] Speaker C: song, makes a face like this, like. [01:18:39] Speaker B: But then he goes and does other stuff. We talked about identity, comedy, guys just playing one note, so to speak. This is lit. I mean, all about drumming, which, obviously it's billed as that, but, like, this is. Come on. There's no variety here. [01:18:55] Speaker A: No, he did some. He did some stretches of jokes. [01:18:58] Speaker C: Yeah, there were. [01:19:00] Speaker B: Whatever. [01:19:01] Speaker A: All right, well, let's just get to the right. [01:19:03] Speaker B: You got to come up with the rating scale. [01:19:05] Speaker C: Okay. [01:19:06] Speaker B: Your friend. [01:19:07] Speaker C: Well, how many. How many symbols pieces in a. In a drum kit? You know, how many. How many pieces? [01:19:13] Speaker B: How many iron cobras? [01:19:14] Speaker C: A kick drum and a snare drum and a tom and a cymbal. How many pieces? How many drum kit pieces? Out of five, and I'm giving it four. I'm giving it four out of five. [01:19:26] Speaker B: Why four, not five? [01:19:27] Speaker C: I love it. Not five, because it's not perfect. It's not. It's. It's no John Mulaney. It's no Jerry Seinfeld, but it is certainly something I've enjoyed watching over and over again for the past eight years. [01:19:39] Speaker B: But not for comedy, for his music. [01:19:41] Speaker C: Oh, I laughed. I laughed out loud. Yeah, I left. I left four out of five times. [01:19:48] Speaker B: Okay, four out of five. And you. [01:19:51] Speaker A: I'm giving him three. I'm giving him that drum kit you got for your memory when you were, like, 8 years old, and it just had. [01:19:58] Speaker C: It's just the kick, the snare, and maybe a symbol. [01:20:01] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. Giving him that. Because, to be honest, these specials are starting to feel like work for me. Like last week's. What was it, Sagira thing. Jesus Christ. It was slow. It was a slogan. At least this had something where I'm like, oh, this isn't some. That I'm schlepping through week after week now. So that's why it gets 3. [01:20:25] Speaker B: Imagine if you just reviewed Hollywood films for somebody. You'd want to blow your brains out after a while, Right? [01:20:31] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:20:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:20:34] Speaker C: That'd really take the joy out of going to the movies, wouldn't it? [01:20:37] Speaker A: Yeah, they must. They must be able to find joy somehow. [01:20:43] Speaker B: Well, they look for more esoteric type movies, too. [01:20:46] Speaker A: But even esoteric movies can be like. We watched Vivarium yesterday. Have you ever seen that? [01:20:52] Speaker B: No. Adult film? [01:20:53] Speaker A: No. It's Imogen Poots and Jesse Eisenberg, and they get trapped in this weird housing estate for. It's. It's one of those weird. Even though they're in it, it's a very European film. And I started thinking, you know what? Maybe I should have just watched some old shite again, you know what I mean? Because this is just taxing. [01:21:16] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:21:17] Speaker A: You know, art for art sakes. [01:21:18] Speaker B: Yeah, art for art's sake. [01:21:20] Speaker C: My cousin was just in town. He's never seen Fargo, so I made him watch it one night. [01:21:23] Speaker B: The film? [01:21:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:21:24] Speaker B: Or the TV program. [01:21:25] Speaker C: The. The film. I could watch that anytime, right? Yeah, anytime. You could sit down. 90 minutes. [01:21:33] Speaker A: Anyway, well, on to you. Don't keep us in suspense. How you feel about it? [01:21:39] Speaker B: It's either a zero or a one. [01:21:41] Speaker C: Well, which one is it? Binary. [01:21:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:21:43] Speaker B: I'm gonna give it a one, only because I like Fred Armisen. I do want to know what he did to Elizabeth Moss. I think there's something more there. I think this guy could be an abusive guy, and he. He could be one of these guys [01:21:52] Speaker C: that earns him the one. [01:21:54] Speaker B: No, he could be one of these guys that seems so nice, but he's really a fucking lunatic abuser. Don't know. [01:22:03] Speaker C: It's got that look in his eyes. [01:22:04] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm gonna give it a zero. I hated it. [01:22:09] Speaker A: Is he going on? [01:22:11] Speaker C: Yeah, maybe it is. [01:22:12] Speaker B: Well, only if we all think. What did I give you that for? [01:22:18] Speaker C: Well, we got one for Leanne Morgan, and I didn't give a. Leon Josie. Yeah, but this was. [01:22:22] Speaker A: He gave me one for Josie Long. You get. [01:22:25] Speaker C: And I gave Bill one for Leanne Morgan. [01:22:28] Speaker A: So you have. [01:22:28] Speaker C: You can give me one. [01:22:30] Speaker B: Yeah, I'll give you one. I didn't bring it with me. I'll make one up. [01:22:34] Speaker C: We'll do it next week. [01:22:35] Speaker B: Yep. You're getting one. [01:22:36] Speaker C: Well, this got exactly. I mean, like, it's almost like as if I was able to watch the special and enjoy it again and then get a second gift out of it by watching Bill react to it. [01:22:45] Speaker B: You knew this was coming. [01:22:46] Speaker C: Oh, I. A thousand miles away. It's like, you know, it's like. It's like biking down the street. I could see it. [01:22:51] Speaker B: Well, I hope to present something with better reception for all of us next week when we watch. And hopefully this doesn't feel like work. [01:23:02] Speaker A: Whose choice is it? [01:23:03] Speaker B: Mine. [01:23:06] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [01:23:07] Speaker B: I was ready to tee one up. [01:23:08] Speaker A: I was haranguing you for not choosing for two days. [01:23:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:23:12] Speaker A: All right, go on, then. [01:23:14] Speaker B: You. You had one at the ready, though. [01:23:16] Speaker A: Well, next. [01:23:17] Speaker B: Yeah, so you had one, though. [01:23:18] Speaker A: So if we're doing fake one a week. Well, this is a real one a week. All right. [01:23:22] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, we're unreal. One a week. I've been much maligned here on this program for my misogyny and lack of appreciation for female comedy. That all changes next week when we watch the hottest female comedian in the country, Taylor Tomlinson, and her latest program, Personal best daughter. His prodigy goal. Daughter. [01:23:47] Speaker C: What? [01:23:47] Speaker A: Daughter? [01:23:48] Speaker B: Prodigal. Prodigal. How do you say it? Prodigal. [01:23:53] Speaker A: Prodigal. Prodigal as in prodigal son. [01:23:56] Speaker B: Prodigal son. [01:23:58] Speaker A: Prodigal son. [01:23:59] Speaker B: Personal daughter. [01:24:00] Speaker A: Personal trainer. [01:24:01] Speaker C: Personal trainer. [01:24:04] Speaker B: Prodigal daughter. Taylor Tomlinson. Because I like female comedians. [01:24:09] Speaker A: Who made you pick it? [01:24:11] Speaker C: Nobody. [01:24:12] Speaker A: Just view a choice. [01:24:14] Speaker B: Yeah, it's, you know, I get a bad rap, so just want to try [01:24:19] Speaker C: to clean it up a little bit. [01:24:20] Speaker A: Well, that's annoying because now I have to not pick a female. [01:24:23] Speaker B: You pick whoever you want. [01:24:24] Speaker A: Well, I'd already picked out Tignataro. Happy to be. [01:24:31] Speaker B: Can I. Can we have a guest host for that one? Bring in somebody else. Leave me on vacation. [01:24:37] Speaker A: There's no way. [01:24:38] Speaker C: Can that be a solo. [01:24:39] Speaker B: Yeah, take Notaro. [01:24:40] Speaker A: There's no way I'm backing out of it now. [01:24:42] Speaker B: No, please, God, no. [01:24:45] Speaker A: Tune in next week for a double header. [01:24:49] Speaker C: You know, this is like the fire hydrant spraying the dog. [01:24:53] Speaker A: Right back at you. I'll raise your Taylor Tomlinson with a tig. Notaro. Happy to be here. [01:25:00] Speaker B: You can't announce it already now. You're gonna have to announce it next week. All right, Gong Master. [01:25:05] Speaker C: All right. [01:25:21] Speaker B: And dawn is one.